ThunderBenderPrincess- I dunno, it seems Spongebob can be associated with Pirates in a number of different ways. It's rather creepy, actually.

Fly Like a Blueberry Pie- Are you kidding? Gilette bashing rocks! And am I a Will hater? Noooooo. In fact, both Olivia and I are proud Willibethians.

musicsreprise- Awesome! Glad you liked it!

stormhawk- Yes, fangirls are dangerous beasts. Especially when you eat their "beloved's" head.

G.A. Clive- Awesomsauce is still and awesomesauce word!

Sir Francis Drake's Heir- Hah, but that was a spur of the moment thing. Everyone knows that Will and Elizabeth are meant to be together. -wink-

Mulch Diggums- Oh! Seo Feng is the (other) villan in the third movie. I'm glad you asked since there might be some other people who may not have known.

Mrs.CaptainJackSparrow1234- SQUISHEH! -laughs- Thanks for reviewing!

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Ah yes, the third chapter. Ok, first of all, you can see that I've added review replies. I'll try to post them for the rest of the chapters going forward. Second of all, Olivia wanted me to say, "Olivia is sorry that this chapter is so late. She didn't know how it happened. Must've been the cows." Those are ture words of genuine fake honesty. So, read your hearts out, we've worked out butts off on it (or more or less, I've worked my butt off convincing her to work her butt off.)

Perhaps it was the full moon that made them act so funny. Maybe it had something to do with the tides or the way the ship moved. But no matter the cause, something was up. Clanker made this obvious by attempting to do DDR to his own hit song. The chorus could be heard for miles: "I love mah cow! Mah cow loves meh! And mah little cow says Mooooooooooo!" Then again, that was something he did quite often (far too often for anyone's tastes) but Oldhaddy was screeching along to "Pop Hits of the 70's" and that sort of sent a slightly obvious point. Maccus dragged out an old iron fire pit he had bought from a wandering llama salesman.

"HEY!" He looked down at the empty plastic bag in front of him. "It's a floggin' for whoever ate all the marshmallows!" He looked around and spotted Koleniko, who was guiltily averting his gaze somewhere else. He was trying to inconspicuously swallow a general number of 18.476538 marshmallows at the same time. "Do y' know what happened t' the marshmallows?"

"Hurm, noo, ivn't sheen no mershmewwows."

Maccus shrugged an 'Ok.' and skipped off, flower petals landing in his wake. (They came, naturally, from the Mustard Fairy, who visits good-er, bad little vicious pirates and bestows them with things that smell nice. It's for the sake of everyone) He began humming the Teletubbies theme song while Oldhaddy belted out "CROCODILE ROCK IS SOMETHIN' SHOCKIN' WHEN YOUR FEET JUST CAN'T KEEP STILL!"

"Oi!" called Bootstrap. He motioned towards Hadras. "What's up with him? He seems… Oh, what's the word I want?"

"Odd?"

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of downright freaky, but that'll do. So?"

"You haven't heard the rumor?"

"Hadras, I've spent a decade on a ship that never makes port. I don't get out much." Hadras clapped Bootstrap over the head.

"No, you goober, on the ship. The rumor on the ship. Thanks, now you've ruined the mysterious atmosphere! It's not my fault you're so outta the loop!" Bootstrap just rolled his eyes and motioned for him to continue. "Well, they say there's this witch with a horde of Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes."

"Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes?"

"Aye, Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes. Legend says she sends her Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes to sprinkle old lemon gratings all over us. That's what makes us do…" He nodded towards the screeching Clanker. "That. Bloody smart blighters those things. They'll take over the world some day. Isn't that right, Wheelback?" Hadras asked his fellow crewmates as he stalked by.

"Ah, the Attack Of the Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes Who Am Not Stupid. Yep. That'll be the day."

Bootstraps face contorted in a puzzled expression. "Strange. I always thought it had to do with the proximity of the moon and the percentage of positive hydrogen ions in our chemical makeup."

"What kind of stupid explanation is that? Our story is way more believable."

Finally Clanker stopped shouting about cows and DDR. It was such a relief to the crew that Olgilvy and Jimmylegs threw a party using the leftovers from Elizabeth's dance jam. However, the cucumbers had gone a bit sour (It was Vinegar Rain Thursday) and so pickles abounded (let it be known that pickles are far better partiers than cucumbers.) Clanker lit the fire pit and sat down on a log that had randomly appeared. He took a deep breath and…

"LET'S GATHER 'ROUND THE CAMPFIRE! AND SING OUR CAMPFIRE SONG!" Upon hearing this, Davy Jones stepped out of his cabin.

"Fo' shizzle ma nizzle, yo! What's goin' down wit mah homiez? D.J. is in da clu- Oh, I- I mean, what's going on here?"

"OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!"

"Hello?"

"AND IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT WE CAN SING IT FASTER THAN YOU'RE WRONG-"

"Clanker…" The sailor being spoken to leapt up, scared out of his wits. "You've made a very grave mistake."

"Sir! I didn't'-"

"You should know that I can sing it faster. -CAUSE IT'LL HELP IF YOU JUST SING ALONG!" The two began a contest. "CAMPIFRESONG SONG!" They were trying so hard, Jones' tentacles turned purple and Clanker's tongue just… Fell off. "Ha!" cried Jones. "I win!" He leapt up and did a victory dace that looked like something between the chicken dance and the Macarena. We shall call it the Chikerana. Clanker just grumbled and went to retrieve his tongue, which had decided to take a vacation to the beautiful Caribbean. It didn't take long for it to notice it was already there. It looked a lot nicer on the brochure.

Meanwhile, the group of fish-men pushed forward Bootstrap. "Captain?" Jones looked down at him disdainfully. "We were wondering if you'd tell us a story."

"A story?"

"A story."

"A story?"

"Yes, a story."

"A story."

"YES A STORY! Oh, sorry Captain."

"What kind of story?"

"I don't know… We all wanted to hear... Well... Your story." He stared at his feet. "Ok, now I feel like an idiot." Koleniko had finally managed to swallow his 18.476538 marshmallows.

"Ooh! Tell us the one about the prune pudding and the orangutan!" He received numerous odd looks. Or….Not." Bootstrap rolled his eyes.

"You moron, that's Clanker's story."

"Oh. Riiiiiiiiiight."

"Enough. I'll tell you." So Jones sat and told them the story. Yes. That story. "Well, I was born in a quaint little cottage on the shore of Singapore..."

Two hours later

"And then on my second birthday, I-"

"Sir?" Maccus interrupted.

"What?" Jones snapped, jolting out of his reminiscent trance.

"Well, we wanted to hear the... Well, you know what part."

"Oh." He pouted slightly and then resumed the stony-faced-captain-look. "And then I grew up, roamed the seas, and tamed a creature never before seen by human eyes. And then I ran afoul of what vexes all men."

"Taxes?" asked Oldhaddy.

"Reality television!" volunteered Maccus.

Clanker contemplatively looked out to sea. (Contemplatively? Oh yes, something was definitely wrong.) "My mother's cooking."

Bootstrap thought a moment. Suddenly, he jumped up, eyes blazing, arm waving madly in the air. "Ooh! Ooh! I got this one! I got this one!" Everyone was dead silent, waiting for a most likely profound, philosophical answer. "I know what vexes all men!"

"Spit it out!" Bootstrap took a deep breath.

"A DUCK!"

...

Yes. The proverbial duck. So, everyone who reviews get a cookie AND a rubber duckie (because not only do they vex all men, but Johnny Depp collects them.) So review please! Besides, maybe more reviews will inspire Olivia to add her two cents a bit faster.