Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
Author's Note: If you have Barlow Girl's song "I need you to love me", it would be a good background music while you're reading this story. This was actually inspired by that song. Read on!
I Need You to Love Me
He's leaving.
A girl with shoulder-length purple hair squeezed her emerald eyes tightly.
The mere thought can cause her heart to constrict in an unbearable pain. What more if it actually happens?
He's leaving.
In a few weeks' time the school year will be drawing to a close.
Most students will be planning activities and adventures to occupy their selves during the long break. Others, on the other hand, will be planning for their future, preparing for the upcoming entrance exams for the various universities and colleges in Japan.
He's one of them.
She's almost sure that he'll be going to Tokyo University since it's one of the most prestigious universities, if not the best.
She smiled.
It doesn't really matter anyway.
She could bet that he'll get to any university he wants without breaking a sweat. He's remarkably intelligent, which is why he's graduating with the highest honor from their school.
But he's still leaving.
Her smile suddenly disappeared as she was reminded and the thought itself triggered her to seek out the source of her distress.
It was easy enough to find him.
The rooftop.
It has been their sacred place.
Or so she would like to think.
And indeed the mystery of a man is there, with all his shining glory.
She still couldn't believe that the meager sight of his long silver-black hair, icy blue eyes, and proud stature can easily take her breath away.
Kirisawa Fuuko took a deep breath before she spoke.
"Michan."
Time seemed to stop when the guy slowly turned to regard her presence.
But he didn't say anything.
Fuuko tried to decipher what he's thinking but he has always been good at hiding it.
So they just stood there looking at each other until Fuuko finally spoke.
"You must be excited that you're finally graduating from high school." She said, forcing a smile.
Tokiya stared at her for a few more seconds before looking away.
"That's an understatement. I'm quite ecstatic to be rid of you annoying monkeys." He murmured passively.
Fuuko felt her heart lurched painfully.
Although she knew that he uses the same tone and sarcasm when he's joking, she has this sinking feeling that this time he actually meant what he said.
"Oh?" She asked, her voice wavering a little. Then she cleared her throat, which suddenly felt contracted. "And here I thought you're going to miss me."
Tokiya didn't say anything, just kept his back on her.
Fuuko closed her eyes as she felt her heart sink lower at his indifference.
She had so much to say but she needed an assurance first that her thoughts are welcomed. The idea of rejection puts too much fear in her heart and extinguishes the fire in her soul.
But from the looks of it, Tokiya will not show any other sign other than coldness, which is worst than acceptance and/or rejection.
"Why are you still here?" Tokiya then asked.
Why do want to be with me?
"I-I'm waiting for you." Fuuko stuttered uncharacteristically.
Because I love you.
"If you have nothing else to say you can leave now." Tokiya suddenly said.
Fuuko's eyes snapped open as she tried to speak.
However, nothing came out.
She just swallowed hard and gazed helplessly at his back.
"Fine. If you're not going to leave, I will." Tokiya said, turning and walking pass Fuuko.
Her body went numb as panic rose up to her heart.
"Michan, wait!" She whispered loud enough for him to hear.
Tokiya stopped.
Fuuko bit her lower lip, still unsure of what to say, uncertain of where to even start.
"Just spit it out, Kirisawa. I don't have all day."
Her face crumpled at the stiff way he had called her but she still wasn't able to speak.
Why can't it be just 'Fuuko'?
Tokiya snorted and took a step forward.
But he hardly moved when gentle but firm arms wrapped around his waist delicately.
Fuuko pressed her forehead against his warm back and felt him stiffen.
She stifled a sob that's been dying to pass from her dry lips.
It hurts to see him flinching from her touch as if she burns him.
"Why do you keep pushing me away, Tokiya?" Fuuko whispered desperately. "What are you so afraid of?"
Tokiya's eyes widened in response, his heart unexpectedly started beating faster.
Why…?
"You don't have to run away.
You don't have to be afraid.
You don't have to be alone.
You have a place to come home to here.
You have someone waiting for you.
I'll be waiting."
Tokiya snapped back to his senses, which made him pull away and turn to face her.
"What makes you think I need someone to wait for me?" He bit out bitterly. "The day Yanagi chose Hanabishi was the day I already gave up any thoughts of that someone. So don't assume that I need you."
Fuuko's breath hitched as her vision was blurred by unshed tears.
She blinked a few times to push them back but one trickled slowly down her flushed cheek.
Tokiya involuntarily traced the path of her tear with his eyes, feeling something inside him break at the sight.
Why…?
He took a step forward to which Fuuko mimicked, only she took one backward.
Fuuko knew from the start that she'll never get pass his barrier the way Sakoshita Yanagi so effortlessly had.
But as stubborn as she is, she still held fast unto that small glimmer of hope.
And she had worked so hard, too, just to make him see that she was also worth his love and attention.
She wants him to be happy.
She wants to make him happy.
But it has always been a battle she's meant to lose.
"I understand." Fuuko whispered with a sad smile.
Tokiya didn't.
He didn't understand why she understood him.
Why can she when he himself can't?
Can't he or he just refuse to?
Fuuko then took his hand and pressed a soft kiss on it before turning around and walking away.
Tokiya stared after her in shock as her small kiss sent warm tingles all over his body.
Why? He asked himself.
Why did I push her away?
What was I so afraid of?
He used to hate their school, their town.
They remind him of everything he has lost.
That's why he wanted to leave.
That's why he had waited for the day when he would have a reason to leave.
When Yanagi came into his life, he had thought she's his salvation.
But he drew more emotional scars from knowing her.
He knew then that he was meant to be unhappy.
Yet, the purple head never let him be.
In fact, while he was with her, not once did he feel pain.
Then why…?
He was afraid.
Everything he had lost before…he's afraid it might happen again.
It would break him completely if he goes over the same ordeal again.
But didn't it just happen?
You already lost her.
Did it make you feel any better?
As realization dawned on him, he immediately rushed after Fuuko.
When he got outside the school premises, he stopped and tried to calm down first in order to best decide where she could have gone to.
Then he's on the move again.
Brushing passed random people, his long silver-black hair whipping against his back.
The sound of screeching tires and screams drew his attention when he got near an intersection.
His heart doubled over at the eerie silence that soon followed as a crowd started to gather.
He swallowed a couple of times as he pushed pass the crowd.
Nothing could have prepared him for the scene that was uncovered before him.
It was Fuuko…motionlessly lying on the ground as blood started to pool around her.
"Sh-she…she saved me."
Tokiya barely heard the man who was sitting on the ground not far from Fuuko as he slowly dropped on his knees and pulled her unresponsive body against his.
No…
No…this can't be…
I was supposed to catch up with her…
…and then tell her that…
I want to come back
I want to come back to you
I want to see your smile
I want to hear your laugh
I want to be with you…
He was snapped back to his senses by the sound of sirens.
And he was also snapped back to the reality that he's losing Fuuko.
A lone tear slipped his eye.
All those wasted time…
"Fuuko." He whispered desperately.
We could have been happy…
"Fuuko."
I could have been happy…
"FUUKO!"
He shouted, raising his head towards the sky and silently begging the gods for another chance.
But they didn't answer.
She didn't answer.
Author's Rants:
I could already feel the death/murderous glares being sent my way...
Don't forget to breathe, my friends...and don't kill me just yet!
I'm sorry for ending it like this...but it must be done. But don't you worry, there's always hope. So leave me a review first then I'll think about whether to make a sequel or something.
Thanks so much, guys!
By the way, this was originally Shenhui's idea that I put these stories in one collection. Thanks so much Shenhui! especially for your reviews.
I would also like to thank those who reviewed my stories namely: yanagi-chyan, neechee, mikaro, clotiheart, winoa fuuko huel 13, abubi-chan, loujane14, and alscye onei (if I missed to mention someone, I'm terribly sorry).
You guys are the best!