Some Author's Notes: Well thanks to the reviews, I've decided to continue the Misadventures of Bass! Thank you for the support!
Join Bass as he goes through another day in his life, dealing with Robot Masters, Wily, Megaman, and even Roll, all while he begins to ponder his ultimate fortress of world domination.
I don't own Megaman, that honor is reserved for Capcom.
On another note, I would like to thank LyokianDestiny () for an upcoming comment and I sincerely apologize for not saying so when I posted the chapter
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Bass again. Normally I don't bother with a detailed account of my day. That one time…I just REALLY needed to blow off some stress. Turns out it worked rather well. That was probably the most peaceful sleep I've had in years, and considering how young I actually am, that's saying something.
I came online and noticed that it was already daylight. That was weird, I should have woken up hours ago. It must have been a REALLY good sleep.
One polishing of the armor later, I was downstairs in the kitchen where oddly enough, I found all the Robot Masters eating cereal in the dining hall peacefully. That was really weird. The heck's going on?
Well Wily was in the kitchen reading the paper…MY…paper. He damn well knows I get the paper before anyone else does in the castle. Whatever, at least the Robot Masters were behaving themselves.
Puzzling still, Wily was behaving himself as well. Normally it's a good morning comment and a plan to conquer the world that's doomed to failure before it even begins. This was starting to get annoying, so after I poured my first cup of coffee for the day-dear god that stuff is like nectar-I looked to Dr. Wily and asked, "What's up?" "What do you mean, Bass," he replied.
Ugh. I don't know if it's destiny that makes people around me stupid or if I attract them. Either way, there's only one good solution to the problem, pain.
I splashed my coffee into the good doctor's face and he screamed like some little schoolgirl. Then he looked at me, "What the hell's the matter with you?" he screamed. "What's the matter with me is you're all acting so calm and quiet! Then when I try to find our what's going on, you act like nothing's wrong!" "JEEZ! Last time we let YOU sleep in."
Whoa. Were they actually just trying to be nice for a change? Wow. And to think, I repay such kindness with a splash of hot coffee to the man's face. That's just cruel of me. I'm a jerk. Wait…I've always been a jerk, I'm fine. So my apology to Dr. Wily? I kicked him.
"Who asked you to let me sleep in, anyways?" Seriously, it's like my job to wake up early…sleeping in is counterproductive. "Well…" he said as his words trailed off.
I gave him a moment to find where those words went, and when that wasn't working, I threatened him with the entire coffee pot.
"OKAY!" he shouted. "It's just…the last time someone else woke you up…well…you know how long it took to repair all the damage you caused." "Heh, heh, yeah…"
The incident that the doctor's referring to is something that happened years ago, back when I was first brought online. I was wild, believe you me. I mean sure I'm a jerk now, but I was as lethal as Skullman back then if you pissed me off. I'd stay up late and party with you humans. It was around then I realized that humans were very weak and even with threats like 'I'll kill you if you stop dancing,' you guys have your limits on the whole party scene.
Well one fine day er…week of hard partying equaled me ready for a long sleep. Dr. Wily, kinda fed up with my actions, refused to let me sleep in and actually threw me out of bed. How a man who can barely lift fifty pounds on his own threw me from my bed, I'll never know. Anyways, he was lecturing me on something I wasn't paying attention to and I got mad…real mad…destructive mad. I kinda went nuts for a little while and leveled Wily's castle to the ground along with maybe fifty or so Robot Masters.
After Wily's body had recovered…partly from my wounding him with plasma burns, partly because a castle fell on him, he had to build an entirely new castle and let me tell you, it took a while. It would have gone smoother if he'd had professional help…or even the other Robot Masters for that matter, but after seeing me wreck the entire place and a slew of other Robot Masters…let's just say I became a force to be feared and no one dared come back until the castle was done.
This pretty much did a few things. It put me in charge of the other Robot Masters. None of them were willing to deal with trying to control me after that fiasco. It also confirmed Wily's boasting that I'm the most powerful Robot Master…EVER. On two side notes, no one seems to mess with me when I'm asleep anymore aside from Starman and after a lengthy search, they pretty much realized that the only casualty of the first castle that was never found, Chargeman, would stay missing. Considering what I'd done to him, he's going to stay missing. Heh, heh…sometimes I think I'm as sadistic as Skullman.
Oh boy, I've gotten so far off topic. Anyways, I accepted the fact that Wily and the other Robot Masters are all cowards, scared to invoke my wrath. I like them that way. I left Wily to clean himself up since…well I scalded him with coffee…come to think of it, that was a terrible waste of good coffee. After a moment to lament my lost coffee…I simply got another cup since I was still holding the coffee pot and entered the kitchen.
There they were, hundreds of Robot Masters, most never even having the chance to be destroyed by Megaman, all staring at me. "Morning," I said to them and I instantly regretted it. Only too late had I realized…I'd given them permission to be…them.
Almost on cue, Tomahawkman flings a spoon full of cereal at Frostman, who doesn't know how to react in any other fashion then picking up and flinging Toadman. His aim is terrible because he manages to bash Burnerman, who gets pissed and shoots a stream of flame that manages to knick Tenguman's armor. His armor singed, that idiot Tenguman fires off a tornado hold…Now considering how light a bowl of cereal is, not to mention utensils…this one move manages to splash cereal everywhere and impale countless Robot Masters with spoons, something that actually had Skullman laughing his ass off. No, seriously, Wily builds crappy robots. His ass fell off.
I quickly left before I could witness any more of the mayhem, but I heard a crash that equaled one of the larger Robot Masters probably smashed the dining room table…which means we'll have to get a new one…yay.
Now alone and back in my room, I took a moment to myself and tried to find my laptop. We used to have a computer room, about fifty computers networked together. Then one day, Centaurman decides bestiality is kinky and he downloads enough to fill up every hard drive. Seriously, who's desperate enough for sex that they bang HORSES? As much as the man needs to get laid, not even Wily's that desperate. Anyways, that ended with Wily freaking and melting each hard drive, claiming that no amount of disk wipes would ever make them clean. The computer room was turned into an indoor garden…I hate plants.
It took me a full ten minutes to find my laptop. I can't help it, I'm a busy Robot Master and I don't have time to pay attention to things like…the cleanliness of my room. Personally, I'm surprised Wily hasn't invented Maidman to take care of things like this. Come to think of it, in all actuality, he probably has, but knowing me, I wouldn't let said machine in my room if its life depended on it…frankly it does. Anyone else besides me enters this room and I'll kill them.
Now that my laptop was in my possession again, I knocked some of the junk on my floor away and plopped to the ground. I then began the painstaking process of designing a virtual representation of the fortress I'll be using in my world domination scheme. It makes sense to just skip the ridiculously expensive process of renting eight different locations for stages to wear that blue freak out beforehand. It really makes much more sense to just have eight Robot Masters jump him once he comes in through the front door. Come to think of it…the most sensible thing would be to jump him with everything I could muster…at his house. I mean it's not like it's hard to find him, he's listed in the phonebook. Alas, it'd be too simple for me, even though I try not to be, in some ways I'm just like Wily…
The next few hours were spent on designing my fortress. I was going with the remains of one of Wily's old ones. I mean…they're usually still functional to some degree and relatively easy to rebuild. Even Wily refurbishes an old fortress if he's pressed for time. After all, it costs less, more often than not. I actually varied the design from ridiculously simplistic to UNGODLY complicated. This ranged from the simplicity of an entire room made with spikes-heh, let's see Megaman get through that-to the complexity of a room that actually shifted and contorted at random every ten seconds. Megaman never really was good at handling things like that. Frankly, if a stage was too insane for him, he'd leave, try an easier one, and come back later when his confidence was brought up.
-Sigh-making a fortress is tougher than I thought it was. I'd actually dozed off and had a little dream. It was interesting. It was the future, like 21XX or some crap like that. Megaman had died, heh, heh, that was sweet. Still, he was replaced by some larger, more advanced version of himself named X, that wasn't so cool. What didn't make sense was that…he came FIRST and every other machine was apparently less advanced than him. I mean he could destroy most of them without any problem. Then there was like some weird virus that made machines go insane. That was the reason X was destroying them, they were weird and dangerous. When things got too bad, he relied on some red machine named Zero. While X was just a bigger Megaman, Zero was more distinct. He had an armor that was reminiscent of my own and a weird cross with Protoman's. He even had blonde hair that reminded me of that stupid scarf of Protoman's. Somewhere in my dream, it was revealed that he was built by Dr. Wily to replace me…wait. That actually sounds like something he'd actually do…SON OF A BITCH!
"WILY!" I roared as I burst out of my room. I stomped through the castle, shouting the man's name in a tone of anger that had any Robot Master in earshot cringe in fear. Sure it was a dream, but that was a DAMN convincing dream! Not to mention, let's not forget that little mishap with King! Wily was NOT above replacing me!
A few minutes of searching one of his labs, his garage, the pool, the roof, and the kitchen, still a freaking mess, I discovered him hiding in a closet. Apparently, the good doctor heard me and decided hide-and-seek was preferable to me killing him. "You BASTARD," I shouted as I grabbed him and flung him out of his hiding spot. "BASS," he said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice and failing, "Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" "Don't you lie to me, old man," I barked as I picked him off the ground.
One of those usually useless, but nonetheless cool things about being a Robot Master is having your eyes light up like an LED screen. The feature goes great with anger, which was what I was feeling at the moment. So, my eyes now lit up to add with the face of frustration I was already glaring with, I shoved the doctor's face to mine, "I know what you did! I…er…I mean I know what you're GOING to do! Er…I WON'T LET YOU REPLACE ME AGAIN!"
To be honest, Zero was a daydream, but considering his past performances, Wily was indeed going to attempt to replace me again. Of course I'd crush the newcomer like I crush everything that thinks its better than me, but that's more energy wasted on failures and not spent on more important things, like playing Grand Theft Auto.
"Bass, I would never think to replace you, it's all in your mind!" Dr. Wily's eyes were wide with terror as his mortality began to sink in. I could see it in his eyes, he understood that my eyes were full of hate and loathing, like when he made King, like when he made any of those ridiculous models he insisted were superior to me. "Bass, please, I…I think of you as a son. A son shouldn't kill his father…"
Deep down, it wasn't worth it. Get rid of him and suddenly I'm alone with all the Robot Masters. Some would be too frightened to do anything. Others would seek some kind of vengeance for me killing the Doc. Others still would…not really notice a change and keep on doing their normal stupid antics.
With a sigh, I dropped Dr. Wily and gave an unfelt apology. After all, I'm not gonna feel bad about him trying to replace me, even if he denies it. Deep down in those catacombs of his, he's got another robot on the drawing board, a Zero or a Bass II if you will, just waiting to come online and try and do me in. I'll simply deal with it when the time comes.
"You're on thin ice," I muttered and I left him to his business. Before I was out of earshot, I did hear him crying out to the other Robot Masters. "COME ON! He was gonna freakin' kill me and you all just sit there like scared kittens?" I heard a lot of murmuring afterwards, probably them agreeing with Dr. Wily. Robot Masters aren't smart, but they know better than to get in my way when I decide I'm in a bad mood.
I walked past a couple of Robot Masters that were hiding behind a couch, trying to spy on me from its safety as I retreated back to my room, and glared at them. It was Gyroman and Magnetman. Magnetman actually freaked to the point of letting loose a magnetic blast that reformatted Gyroman, who fell over lifeless on the ground. Well…at least something died. I was about to just leave them when I heard a scream out of Magnetman.
Upon inspection, I saw Skullman standing over Magnetman's dead body. The hole in Magnetman's back along with the spine in Skullman's hand gave away the situation. "Do you have to do that?" I asked dryly. "Do what?" he replied, as if he hadn't done anything. "The whole serial killer bit, it's getting old and it's BEEN annoying."
He gave me a look, a weird look. It was a look that said I'd apparently injured him somehow. Then he…did something weird. He started crying. "I am NOT a serial killer!" he shouted as tears ran down his face. I was shocked. Honestly. I didn't think he had the capacity to cry, I certainly don't. "How can you be so hurtful?" "Skullman, I'm hurtful by nature. Just because you're too sensitive to admit you're a serial killing machine doesn't mean I'm going to hold back on what's obvious." He sobbed again and it was getting to me. "WHAT?" I cried out, eager to get this over with. "I'm not a serial killer." He replied. "Then what are you?" "I'm a spinal killer. Note the spine in my hand."
(Thanks to LyokianDestiny () for the idea of spinal killer…who uses faces for hats)
The line made sense and had a ring of familiarity to it. It was almost like I'd heard it off of one of you pathetic humans, some offhand comment or something. Still, was he that obsessed over what he did that a tiny mislabeling turns him into a bawling baby? I had to get rid of him. I yanked the spine out of his hand and tossed it clear across the room, more than likely out a window. He squeaked and hopped after it, crying out, "MY TROPHY!" and I was finally left to myself again.
With that annoyance out of the way, I eased back into my room but as I tried to add the finishing touches to my fortress, I found I couldn't concentrate on it. I was still pissed.
To cool off, I figured I'd get some reading in. I felt like an ego trip, so I did a search on the internet and discovered one of those fan fiction sites. After all, I'm famous enough that people would write stories about me. Of course, what I found annoyed me. There wasn't a single story about me crushing that blue dweeb beneath my feet! What made matters worse was the yaoi I discovered! Seriously, get a load of this crap!
Bass found himself outside of Megaman's home, lost in his thoughts, desperate for some way to just come out and admit his feelings. Sure there was a part of him that said that his feelings were just a malfunction and Wily would be able to fix any problem, but it was the burning desire that told him that even if his feelings were a malfunction, they were right. "I love him," Bass found himself saying. "I do, I love Megaman. Everything says I love that blue bomber. This is absurd! I'm supposed to destroy Megaman, not develop feelings for him! Maybe…maybe that's why I never finish him off. I…I don't know what to do."
HELLO! You DESTROY him! PROBLEM SOLVED! I'm supposed to destroy that freak. If he DIES, then there really isn't anything to be aroused by, now is there? Besides, me in love with that geek? Get real. I'd just as soon give into Starman's desires than bang my rival. Jeez! I am NOT a Closetman!
Argh, this was annoying. I decided it was important to show these computer geeks a real fan fiction and I decided to go with my dream, despite the fact that any concept of Zero sends thralls of anger down my spine…
Anyways, I think I reached into my ass for a few ideas, but most of it seemed to make sense. Honestly, I couldn't think of ANYTHING that could destroy that blue freak other than myself, so I had to leave out reasons behind him being replaced by X, who I was going to make just as pathetic and naïve, but something told me to make him a bit more mature about things. As for Zero, well I was gonna base him off my mentality, but the fact that he hung around Megaman X meant that he'd have to actually be able to spend time with the guy without needing to rip out his optics. That in mind, I thought it best to make him more like Protoman.
Plot wasn't much more than one of Wily's botched schemes with some new faces. I had eight Robot Masters, now dubbed Mavericks, since I wanted things to sound different, and they all followed their leader, this bald guy I thought up named Sigma. Then he had a lieutenant, kinda like me, but stupider. I based him off of that Boba-Fett guy from Star Wars for a laugh. Had to kill Zero off, heh, that's what he gets for thinking he can replace me.
I hadn't even noticed, but it was around five in the afternoon and I had to admit, I was feeling good. With Wily around, even if he was still shook up over me trying to kill him, most of the Robot Masters stayed in check and the ones that didn't, well the number was small enough that Treble could chase them around the castle without me needing to interfere. Frankly, they associate him with me and know that in the event anything happens to him, they deal with me, so, through said association, Treble's presence is equally as frightening as mine.
Someone knocked on my door. It had to be Wily, no one else really dared to. "Bass," came the quiet voice, "Bass…are you sane?" He sounded sure enough of himself, but I bet he'd wet himself if I yelled. "Sane as I'll ever be, Doc, what is it?" "If you've cooled off from your maniacal tirade, I was thinking about getting a new DVD player, you know, for movie night." I guess this was some kind of peace offering.
"Wily, movie night is a bust. Remember, Grenademan broke the projector." "Ah yes, well then I need a new projector as well. Could you go into the city and get them for me?" Is he serious? "Wily, can't you just BUILD a new DVD player and a projector?" "Bass, I can't go around wasting my time on so simple of inventions! Besides, I break enough laws as it is without adding copyright infringement to the list." "I don't think there's actual laws against making a DVD player…" "Bass, please. You can even take the skull ship!"
Okay, he knows I like to use the skull ship. It's got so much horsepower under the hood that it's not even funny. Add that with the random assortment of weapons it has and the fact that it takes up like four parking spaces and it's the coolest ride ever.
"Fine, you want me to steal a couple of electronics, sure." "Steal? Heavens no. I actually do believe in paying for quality merchandise. You can use my credit card." "Stealing would really be easier…and more people would scream"
A few minutes of light debate and I conceded to merely buying his stupid gadgets. I checked on Treble, who was gnawing on Quickman's leg. Heh, heh…he apparently wasn't quick enough. I left my companion to his devices and got into the skull ship, making short time to the city-I actually need to eventually learn the name of this city…eventually.
Anyways, parking was easy…I mean the skull ship's massive, it lands wherever the hell I damn well feel like it does…which happened to be on a couple of cars. They won't mind, or rather, I won't care if they do mind, so after breaking another car's windshield for the fun of it, I entered the electronics store, some place called Radio Video, and the first thing I have to see is one of those ridiculous store greeters. Some tall guy with a bowl cut in one of those ridiculous uniforms.
The guy looked at me and offered me a big, bright smile-ugh-and said, "Welcome to Radio Video!" I was gonna leave him alone, but he made one comment that got me. "So, a cosplayer, huh? Must be a fan of that Bass guy."
Okay, a few things. One, sure I'm out in public wearing my armor…I don't feel safe taking it off at home, I'm damn sure not taking it off in public. Two, how stupid do you have to be to not see I'm the original? I mean did he not see the GIANT FREAKIN' SKULL SHIP I landed in? Three…he said Bass…as in the freakin' fish. I…am NOT…a FREAKIN' FISH! Hello! Bass and Treble! That alone says my name is NOT to be pronounced like I'm some fish some redneck organics spend all day trying to catch! Let alone GOSPEL! Bass and Treble become GOSPEL! Even MORE proof that we're going for SOUND, not SEAFOOD!
Organics really have no redeeming qualities, do they? Seriously, go on, name one, I dare ya. You can't can you? That's because there aren't any.
I looked him square in the eyes and said, "Look, I'm feeling generous. I'm going to give you a choice. One, you run around in a circle, screaming and flailing your limbs like an idiot, and then you jump out the window. Two, I MAKE you run around in a circle, screaming and flailing your limbs like an idiot, then I toss you out the window. Either way, you're going in a circle, making an idiot of yourself, and then you're going out the window." He scoffed and folded his arms, calling my bluff. Organics are stupid.
A couple seconds later, one very shocked human goes flying out the window and I laugh to myself. Then I grabbed Wily's stupid DVD player, naturally going for the most expensive, and I went for a projector too. Now we can actually watch movies again, provided no one touches the damn player except for me. I was about to walk out the store when the clerk behind the counter yelled, "Aren't you gonna pay for that?"
I grumbled. I should just crush the guy and get rid of any annoyances. Still, Wily said he didn't want trouble, at least not yet-granted I threw a guy out a window, but that was self-defense…okay, not self-defense per se, but I was damn well defending my honor-so went back to the counter and let him scan the items, then offered the old man's credit card. He eyed it and asked, "Can I see some identification, Mr. Wily?
Did he just…call me…Wily? I guess since I'm using his card, I'm asking for it. Still, you'd think a Robot Master who constantly destroys everything in his way would be more easily recognized. A slight shrug and destroying a DVD stand with my buster later, I looked at him, smirked, pointed said buster at him, and said, "There's my ID, I'd like to leave now."
He actually let me leave without paying, which I guess would equate to stealing in some people, but to me, it was a gift. A few thousand bucks down the drain for them thanks to an expensive DVD player, a projector, a destroyed stack of DVDs, and a shattered window, they'll probably fire that clerk…wonder if I should vaporize him first.
I know what you're thinking, three laws of robotics or some crap like that. I'm not allowed to kill humans or some stupid shit like that. You know, that's the thing about a sentient machine…I ripped those stupid rules out of my processor on day one. It's part of why I can smack Wily around like I do.
Well I decided to load my packages into the skull ship and take my sweet time getting back. After all, there's an ice cream shop across the street that has this awesome root beer float I love, so I got one of those and walked outside and heard, "Hey, Bass!"
I turned and saw some kid in blue jeans and some white t-shirt with messy, kinda spiky brown hair. He smiled at me like I knew him or something. ""Don't tell me you don't recognize me," he said. "It's me, Rock!" I tilted my head and looked at him, confused. "You know, Megaman!"
Oh shit. It's him, my rival, and neither one of us are on the job. What do I do? Do I…do I hit him? I mean he's not in his armor, it'd be easy to just destroy him now. Maybe it'd be too easy…I mean I still want to prove the superiority of my fortress over Wily's…I need this idiot for that. I guess I won't kill him, still, I should say something. I need to say something that keeps me standing in the limelight of totally badass persona I have. "Hey…you……jerk."
Hey you jerk? Was that the best I could really come up with? Okay, I need to try again, something infinitely better than what I just said. "…I hate you…a lot."
Okay, talking to the dweeb is getting me nowhere. I was about to just leave when he laughed a bit and gave me a hug…which is just wrong. I pushed the freak off of me and said, "Don't you have like some date with your sister or some crap like that?"
He shot me a look, I think it was anger…I think…it's hard to tell when you're looking into the face of a guy who probably spends his free time saving trees and dancing around rainbows. "Dating Roll is sick, even for your mind, Bass. Besides, we're not talking right now." I arched an eyebrow, hey, he peaked my curiosity, I always thought they were like those Osmond twins…
"What'd you do to each other, huh?" I asked, since I was interested now. "It's nothing, it's just a stupid argument and she got all fussed up over nothing and left. I don't know where she is now." He finished with crossing his arms and I had to force down a laugh. It's actually rather humorous to see him pissed.
As much as I'd loved to have pushed his buttons all day, I did have a fortress to build. As for an actual world domination scheme…well…get rid of Megaman, no need for anything other than brute force. "Later loser," I said with a dismissive wave of my hand, "I'll crush you later, when you're actually in your armor."
"Don't you wanna hang out a little, Bass?" he asked, like I'd consider it. "Uhm…no. We're enemies." "You don't really believe that." "Yes I do." "No you don't." "Do too." "Do not."
This went on for about five minutes until I finally got bored and chucked my drink at him…then, realizing I'd have to buy another one, I hit him. It wasn't a hard punch, just enough to break his nose. I tossed the cup at him and watched it bounce off his head and I'm pretty sure he was about to cry or something stupid like that, so I merely left him and got another drink, came out to find that he'd gotten up and left, which is good for me, and I returned to the skull ship to find some cute blonde girl leaning on it. It took me a moment to realize said cute girl was the dweeb's sister.
I can't believe I didn't recognize her, then I remembered she always seems to look different each time I see her, whether she's taller or if she changed her hair or decided to go with an entirely new wardrobe. From what I can tell, she's Dr. Light's maid or something, and she apparently prides herself on appearance. I mean Megaman's content on looking like some kid, but here she was, apparently receiving a remodeling or something to that extent, because the girl I was looking at was definitely designed to look like a teenager, like I am.
She'd apparently cut the hair shorter and made it ridiculously spiky in my opinion. She'd also ditched the dress, but kept the red color theme, opting for a tiny pair of shorts and some short-sleeved shirt, both red with a white trim. There was some type of tight, black item of clothing underneath that barely poked out under the shorts and she was wearing some red hat. I had to admit, now that I had a good look at her, she was pretty hot.
Wait, I did NOT just call my foe's sister hot! No, I don't care what she looks like…I gotta think of something to get my mind off it, to cut out the electronic equivalent of hormones running through me…gotta hurt Wily for that shit later…let's see…AH! Wily in a bikini! That's hideous…wait…TOO HIDEOUS! OH GOD! MY EYES! Must…replace…with…Roll…in bikini…much better…wait…this was what I was running from…DAMN IT!
A sigh to myself and a buster charging, I told her, "You've got five seconds to get off my ride." She leapt up with a squeak and took a step away from the skull ship, smart girl. "Now what's the sister of my arch nemesis doing parked against my skull ship?" "Hey Bass," She said happily, as if I weren't aiming a highly destructive plasma weapon at her. She gave me a warm smile, but it didn't phase me, I was still prepared to blow her head off. "Answer my question, Creampuff." "Aww, how sweet, you have a nickname for me."
This whole encounter should be pissing me off, but it was more like borderline annoyance. I powered down my buster and calmly asked, "Now, what are you doing here?" "Talking with you, duh," she replied. "NO! I mean what were you doing waiting outside my ship!" She looked off while saying, "I saw you come out of the electronics store and then get some ice cream. I was waiting, kinda hoping I could hang around your place for a couple days…"
Yeah, like I'd let her crash at the castle. I should have been cruel and said yes, then left her alone with the Robot Masters. That'd show her. Still, with a huff, I only said, "You've got your own place to stay. Look, I'll drop you off, okay?" "No way," she said with disgust. "I'm not going back until Rock apologizes!" "What'd you two fight over anyways?" "I don't want to talk about it, Bass, just PLEASE can I stay for a few days?" "Don't you have that Dr. Light guy to take care of?" "He's working on a project out of town and he'll be gone for a bit and it's just unbearable to be around Rock, you can relate." Oh can I…
I thought it over in my head and part of me couldn't believe I was even considering it. There's no way the Doc would go for it, first off. Next, she wouldn't survive an encounter with the Robot Masters on her own. Then there's that whole fact that I'm plotting to take down her brother.
"Come on…" She said with pleading eyes, "It's not such a bad idea, it'll be fun." I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, that's what Wily said about Hyper Beaver Man." "What?" she asked in bewilderment. "Yeah, long story Creampuff. Just know it ended in a lawsuit. Wily's not allowed to have children, they'll be considered animals and shot on sight." Roll giggled a bit and replied, "Well Wily's kind of stupid, isn't he?"
Hey, she actually got it, maybe I could live with this. "Alright Creampuff, you can stay for a bit, but you try anything funny, and I'll crush you." Hey, I still have to sound like a tough guy, even if I'm doing something nice. She smiled and hugged me and after three seconds, I forced her off me. Then we began the ride back to Wily Castle…or we were supposed to at least.
"Hey Bass?" "Yeah?" "I don't trust Rock with Tango." "Huh?" "You think we can get him?" "Get Megaman?" "NO! Get Tango!" "What's Tango?" "My cat."
Hmmm…get her cat…doesn't sound smart. After all, it'd be just as vulnerable as Roll. Next, add in how Treble might react to a new pet. Sure Treble's a wolf and they really don't chase cats…but knowing Wily…I dunno. Nope…not getting the cat, no way, no how.
…I can't believe I'm doing this. "Hello? B-BASS?" Megaman's jaw had practically fallen off as he opened his front door to see me standing in front of it. I just wanted to get this over with quickly. "I came for the damn cat." "What?" he asked, shocked. "Roll's stupid cat. She wouldn't shut up about it." I jabbed a thumb in her direction, the girl leaning on the skull ship.
"OH!" Megaman said, his face turning red. "You brought Bass into this, huh? Got him on your side and everything, turned him against me!" "Megaman," I said, "I've always been against you. I'm your enemy." "Is that the propaganda she fed you?" he shot back. "No," I replied honestly, "It's the propaganda Wily fed me…and I believe it. Besides, when did you get so paranoid?" "I'm not paranoid!" he said defensively, "SHE'S JUST EVIL!"
"YEAH! WELL YOUR HEAD'S TOO BIG!" Ugh, Roll had joined in. "I can't believe you had to drag Bass into this, sis." Megaman said. "Bass is just being a good friend and lending me a hand in my time of need." Roll said and I was forced to add my own words. "Uhm…I'm not her friend, I'm just giving her a place to stay for a bit…" "OH! So you're moving in with Bass now, huh?" Megaman said as he walked into the house. "I suppose you'll want all your stuff!"
Before I could even ask why she'd need her things for a few night stay, he began throwing random things out of the house. The action seemed to infuriate Roll, who merely stalked after him, shouting, "YEAH! I'd love my things! See if I even check up on you! I'm so out of here! Bass is nicer anyways!"
Hoo boy, things were getting out of hand. It's like I'm supposed to just let her…move into my room or something. Besides, how can she call me nicer? I've destroyed Light's lab more than once, I've kidnapped her, attempted to kill both of them multiple times, and I stole their paper once. I'm hardly nice. I sat down on the ground while Megaman's sappy pup, Rush walked up to me, eager to get away from all the shouting and rambling, words I never even knew Megaman could say without a short-circuit. I looked at the dog and petted it, saying, "What have I gotten myself into?"
I kept petting Rush while Megaman and Roll argued, Roll spending some time from her insults to gather her things…thank god the skull ship had space. I would have kept petting the dog, but he was enjoying it too much and his spring popped out of his back. That…was kinda awkward. I didn't touch him after that.
After a while and a headache on my part, Roll's stuff was loaded into the back of the skull ship, Tango was nestled safely in her arms, and we left, Megaman screaming something like, "You'll come back! THEY ALWAYS COME BACK!"
"Who's 'they'." I asked Roll, who honestly didn't know. We rode in silence back to the castle-thank god, I'm home. It's late, like ten at night by now. Most Robot Masters have turned in for the night, so I luckily didn't have to explain to them that the blonde girl in red was off-limits. I led her to my room, still a pigsty.
"You LIVE in here?" She asked, mockingly. "Yeah, what of it?" "Bass, this place is a mess!" "I'm an evil Robot Master, Creampuff! I don't think cleanliness is part of my programming." "Where's my stuff gonna go?" She asked this like I was actually going to let her stay in my room after tonight. "We'll figure it out tomorrow."
We'd have kept up this boring conversation, but Wily's voice resounded off the walls, "BASS!" and I sighed, slumping my shoulders. I told Roll not to touch anything in my room and I went to see what had the Doc's panties in a knot.
He was in the living room and I remembered to bring him that stupid DVD player and that ridiculous projector and I handed them over. "Thank you," He said, "But what's this I hear about you bringing some blonde bimbo into my castle?" "Relax, Wily. It's just Roll." "Who?" "You know, Roll, you kidnapped her a few times…I've kidnapped her a few times…Megaman's sister…" "You kidnapped her again?" "Not…not really…she uh…she's moving in?"
Sure it was more a statement than a question, but it was still one damn odd statement. NO ONE foresaw this and I don't even know what the hell got between her and that dweeb of a brother she has.
Wily's eyes actually bugged out of his head when it hit him that Roll was moving in. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! I REFUSE TO HAVE ANY PART OF THAT FREAKY LITTLE BLUE BOY'S LIFE IN MY CASTLE!" "She uh…hates Megaman too?"
His demeanor changed almost automatically. I don't think anything aside from world domination will make him as happy as finding another person who hates Megaman's guts. "You do realize," he said, "She's your responsibility. That means she better be housebroken and she sleeps on the floor." "Wily, she's not a dog…or one of your stupider Robot Masters…"
As if to emphasize my point, Gutsman, probably the stupidest one in the damn castle, relieved himself on the floor. Wily saw, shrugged, and walked off, saying, "Bass, clean that up, will you?"
I couldn't protest, he was already gone and Gutsman was already smashing his head into a wall. Wily wants it clean? Right. I blasted the soiled spot with my buster, leaving a hole in the ground. There, clean. Now, to take care of Gutsman, I gave him a fork and pointed out an electrical socket…then I saw Sparkman and figured that'd be funnier and wouldn't cut the power to the whole castle.
Sure enough, Gutsman impaled Sparkman through the eye and lit up like a Christmas tree, exploding eventually. Sparkman tried to get to get the fork out, but when you have giant freakin' spikes for hands, all that does is stab yourself more. I lost about ten minutes laughing at the scene before the scent of death attracted Skullman, who quickly extinguished Sparkman's life, ripped the spikes off his hands, and later on, impaled Shademan with them, screaming, "I AM SKULLMAN! VAMPIRE SLAYER!" Luckily for me, I wasn't around at the time.
I retreated back to my room, running into Treble on the way. From the look of satisfaction on his face, he apparently played tug-of-war with one of the Robot Master's limbs. Good boy. Anyways, I had to explain to him the whole situation with Roll so he didn't freak when he saw the girl waiting in my room or the cat she'd brought with her.
To my surprise, I find Roll asleep in my capsule…MY capsule with Tango nestled beside her. Treble looked at me confused and I only sighed, saying, "I don't know boy. I think conquering the world's gonna get complicated." It then occurred to me that I wasted half a day that COULD have been spent with my fortress and all because I went out for a stupid DVD player…if I'd just told Wily to screw himself, I wouldn't have had to leave, I wouldn't have met Roll, and she CERTAINLY wouldn't be in my room…DAMN IT ALL!
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Ending Notes: Next time, Bass holds auditions for his team of Robot Masters in his fortress while trying to keep Roll alive in the presence of hundreds of Robot Masters!
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