Chapter 7: The Confrontation
"Where do you think you're going, my Lady?" hissed Legolas behind his teeth. "Do you really think that you could go back there without causing a scandal?"
"I,..I was not going back to the hall…I want to go to my chamber" she answered looking down.
"And do you have any idea how to get there?"
His angry gaze still was on her and he did not let go of her arm yet. She raised her head proudly and met his gaze stubbornly. "I came here by myself, didn't I?"
"So you did and the way you did it; that was most inappropriate, too" said Legolas letting her arm go.
Rin could not control herself any longer and exclaimed: "And what would you have me do my Lord, accept our fate the way you did, so humbly? I don't even know why you bowed to the will of your father. I would have thought you would be as opposed to this marriage as I am."
"You speak like a child with no knowledge of the world. The cruel honesty of your young age shows itself." said Legolas. Then he looked at her coldly. "I am not obliged to give you any reason for my doings anyway."
"How can you say that, my Lord? Is it not also my life your decision shapes? Am I not going to live under the shadow of this arrangement for ever?" Rin could not help but shake as she spoke to the elf. Under any other circumstances she would not dream of raising her voice to such an ethereal creature. But as he stood in front of her, flesh and blood, she cared not if he was the Valar himself.
"The life you are going to live is decided for." He sounded impatient, bored even. "But not by me… By your father"
With that Rin took a step back. She did not know what to say. It was the truth. "Indeed" she said "Of course, you are right. Then please my lord, show me the way to my rooms, so I can prepare myself for the new life drawn for me, by my father." She couldn't help but add, "…and by your will."
He breathed in slowly, like to calm himself."I will show you to your room. Believe me; I need you to get prepared and get used to the idea, as well. This talk bores me." He moved towards the path in to the woods, then turned "Know this; I do not like this more than you do."
His words hurt Rin more than any other thing happened or was said that night. She could not understand herself, on one hand she was accusing him of being weak and obliging to the will of their fathers, and on the other hand it hurt her so much when he said that he actually did not care for her. Frustrated, Rin raised her chin proudly and replied: "Than it is for the best, when I say that if this arrangement harm both of us equally, I might endure it more easily." She moved to the path and turned around to look at him, "I hope you know that we shall never be anything more than cellmates, don't you," she stopped here and smiled at him sadly, "…husband" The word had come out of her mouth as nothing more than an insult.
Legolas was taken aback by her words. This was the woman he was going to live his life with. The way she talks, the way she looks at him was as if she hated him. His pride took the best of him and he asked: "Is that a promise you can keep?"
Rin could not believe her ears. She was a princess. What was he thinking? He was handsome, of course him being of the elven kind. He thought because of that she would throw herself into his arms, begging for love. So, a cold smile grazed her features, when she said. "I see you posses the famous elven vain, my prince. But do not worry, I shall restrain myself. While I get used to my new home and my 'important' duties, I believe, I will have too much on my mind, to even notice that I am married anyway"
With that he quickly straightened his back, "Follow me, if you will" he said. He turned on his heels and started walking without looking back at her not even for a single time.
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Rin sat on her bed, hands on her burning cheeks. She did not mind her wet clothes or her hair. She had forgotten about them already. 'Is my life going to be like this from now on?' she wondered to herself. She did not want to cry any longer, she was tired of crying, arguing and feeling this way. 'Wish my mother was here' she thought and remembered something that never crossed her mind before. The long and mysterious speech her mother gave her before she rode to Eryn Lasgalen was an indicator of all these events. Maybe her mother had foreseen, maybe she heard the whispers of this plot but she basically warned Rin about the intentions of her king. 'I am so stupid, so naive' she sighed. She did not know why she trusted her father but maybe she wanted to.
She threw herself into the bed, crawled on her side and thought many ways of escaping these lands. She dreamt of better worlds. For a long time she lay there motionless. The storm outside continued in all its might. She listened to all the sounds of the night. From afar a slight tune of music could be heard. 'So they are still merrymaking.' She wondered if Legolas after he basically toss her into her room, went back there to enjoy the night. She dismissed that thought; 'Not very possible, I say.' After her harsh words to him the look on his face his demenour was grave indeed. She hurted him, she knew that for a fact but the way he looked at her, the way he talked as if she was a mere child and nothing to him, intimidated her.
Legolas was accusatory and torrid, playing each nerve until she spoke those words. 'Every word of it was true' she thought, to herself, she could not imagine herself in the same bed with someone she barely knew and did not love. It seemed to Rin that it was not possible or reasonable to love an immortal being. What good is to love the sun, she wondered, only receiving sunlight in return? Or loving the see, she will be dust before the shores ever be dry. Legolas was possibly older than anything she knew. The striking conflict hit her than. What incomprehensible change in thought should have happened for an elf to marry a human girl he did not love? What great sacrifice was Legolas making for this marriage? He too, like her was a pawn in this game. But then guilt started to stir in her. She knew she might have been too harsh to him, too hurtful, but she could not help herself then. If he was wise as his years and saw anything worth seeing on this earth, he should have understood the utter bitterness and despair in her ways.
She thought after the midnight walk they shared that Legolas probably would leave her alone from now on.'For the best, too...' She wondered if there would be any expectation about a wedding ceremonial, for if they would ask her, she would say, let it be over with only by secret signatures or anything these people find sacred. Longing this charade was an insult to both parties.
She shook her head in disbelief, was this the way of the elves, about which everyone talked for centuries in awe? Rin could not guess what possible profit they must foresee by welcoming her, was it the treaty ? Could not be, for her father was already willing to take part in it? Was it Rhune, were they eager to enrich their land with precious little stones? Or was it her? 'Oh this must be it' she thought sarcastically, the crown prince saw and fell most instantly for me. Even to think that Legolas could possess any bit of love for her was absurd in her eyes. She laughed sadly at that thought. 'Well, like me, he will have to endure the long years of loneliness' Deciding that she will give no more energy to dwell on this she made her way to the closet to change for sleep.
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Legolas drew back from the door of his 'future' wife. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm himself; his hand unintentionally went to his blade he carried at all times. 'Even war looks simpler', he thought. Tonight he felt that it was not possible for him to join others again, tonight he felt old. As he walked slowly, eyes closed along the corridor, the question which rose in him several times tonight made way to surface again. Why did he not oppose as he should have? What possessed him to accept the role which was given to him by others? Could he not deflect this arrangement by expressing his wants and needs more strongly and make everyone understand that it is folly? Of course the rejection would cause embarrassment for the princess who came all the way here to make peace. But it seemed to him that she would respect him better if he had done so. She would have understand and accept. That only meant one thing. Secretly he wanted to have this, this change, this spark in his life, to feel anything beside calmness and tranquillity. He dwelled on things which were long forgotten, which were no more. The youth and the beauty of the princess, the reckless life force and the will to change amazed him. One way or the other he knew that the coming of this eastern princess bore change with her.
When she left him at the table it was more than he could bear. He tried to overlook the sadness and the coldness of her behaviour, or even the apparently unwilling hand she gave him but when she ran away from him, it was more than his pride got hurt, it was his hopes…The reason he ran after her, he understand now, was not because he wanted to lecture her, only because he did not want her to disappear.
The time of the elves is over, he knew it bitterly. But he did not want to be a mere story told, or a statue stand in a court. All these hopes and doubts made him bound to her. If only he could have admit this to himself before he treated her so terribly. But than again, never before he felt so much anger and doubt in himself like he felt tonight. She brought out the worst in him. When he was with her he was not the man who saw ages of this world. She made him behave like an immature youngling trying to prove himself. The directness of her questions and her remarks made him wander at the sharpness of her tongue 'And every word of it were true' he thought to himself, a sad smile crossing his face.
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Morning came too soon for Rin. She dreaded going outside and talking others. What should she anticipate? Congratulations or accusing stares? She did not know. But there was no running away. She couldn't hide in her room till the wedding and after that to the end of her life. She got up and put up her visage, which she used for the hardest meetings with her father and walked out of the door.
The forest was too enthralling. The birds were singing and the flowers everywhere bloomed, like there was nothing wrong with the world. Thinking this, she smiled to herself. What an arrogant way of thinking she had this morning. Like the whole world should be mourning because of her petty problems.
"Well, at least you seem at peace? As much as you can, I suppose. But I am happy for it none the less."
The smile grew on her face when she heard the voice of Dregonas, her friend.
"Now indeed I am, my Lord. Because yours is the first face I see today. Things can not go ill with such a beginning." She said with as much happiness as she could master. She didn't want to worry the kind man, who always stood by her.
"You are so nice and I hope that you are right." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Alas, I come with the news that my brother wishes your company. You…" He stopped again "departed so suddenly last night. He wanted to talk to you even then about the… arrangements."
The anxiety the news of Thranduil wanting to talk to her paled compared to shame she felt about her behaviour the night before. She stammered, "Oh... Well, I… The way I behaved… It was unforgivable, I know. But I couldn't. I'm not strong enough…"
"No, no, do not apologies, Rin." Even he looked surprised when he called her by her name. "I hope you don't mind me calling you that. I think I already started to see you like family." When she smiled encouragingly he continued, "I think everyone can understand the troubles you have right now. No one can judge you."
"Except your nephew." said Rin without thinking and froze right afterwards with a blush painting her cheeks.
Dregonas raised his brow questioningly.
"I did not mean he was…" 'Now, how are you going to get out of this one' she thought. "He just seemed so angry yesterday. We had a talk in the gardens and he was harsh and even… Well I am just going to come out and say it insulting."
When Dregonas' eyes grew with surprise, she got scared that now she was the one who was insulting her friend and hurriedly. "Of course, it was not so, I am sure. He must be also anxious with these developments. And so he spoke harder then he meant. I was unforgivably rude myself too. I was scared; I am still scared, for my future and I was so surprised from his acceptance of the engagement. Which is not an excuse I know…" She was ranting. Oh Lord, what would her mother think if she could see her now? Standing in front of Dregonas and ranting like a common fool!
She took a deep breath to calm herself. She was scared that she could go on rambling at Dregonas, more nonsense to burden the pure nice man, who after all of this still looked at her like she was a beautiful, rare bird, who fluttered in her cage.
She looked at him cheeks now bright red and only could say "I am sorry." Did it actually come out as a question or did her ears deceive her?
As the situation became more and more comical for Rin, Dregonas felt more perplexed. It wasn't at all like Legolas to act like this? Agonizing a girl, who was already distressed? But he would have to talk to him to understand the cause, it would seem. The Princess was far too confused and apparently embarrassed to explain the situation.
He could not help himself and said "Yes, I believe you are. But you don't have to be. Now tell me. You had a talk with Legolas last night, did you not?"
"Yes" Rin said.
"And there was an argument. You quarrelled."
"No, not a quarrel, but words were uttered, which perhaps were not the best choices."
"I see. Well, I am sure it was the heat of the moment, which brought you both to this discussion, Rin. Legolas is the best of man I love and trust him with everything in my life. When you know him better you will feel the same." He took her hand in his and smiled "I know everything must look foreign to you right now, maybe even scary. But this shall change. Do trust me, my child."
"Yes" said Rin in a heart beat "Yes, I do trust you. And I am not ashamed to say that I am scared. Nevertheless I never meant to offend you or your kin. You believe me, don't you?"
Dregonas laughed genuinely at this. "Of course, I do. And I am sure you did not offend anybody. Now let's move on, shall we. My brother is not the most patient of man."
"Your brother, I almost forgot that." Rin said slowly. "Will he want to talk about the wedding you think?" Then she answered herself. "Of course he will. I hope he does not wish a big ceremony. I myself would be so much happier if we could do it amongst ourselves. I don't think marriage of this kind needs a fancy celebration."
"But it shall be your marriage" said Dregonas sadly "Your only marriage, your day. Don't you want to celebrate it?"
Rin smiled, although it did not reach her eyes, "What is to celebrate?"
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They did not talk until they reached to the audience chamber. They both were deep in thought.
Thranduil, it seemed, was already waiting for them.
"Oh, if it is not our missing princess," he said "well, I should send word to the searching party, seeing you have found your way back safely."
"Brother" said Dregonas warningly, "The lady was tired after her journey, I am sure you can understand."
"I am sure I can try" was the cold answer. "But I hope running away from royal ceremonies will not be an everyday occurrence. We expect better from the royal family here in Eryn Lasgalen and you will be a member of that family very shortly." When Dregonas started to talk again he stopped him with a raise of his hand. "It is fine, brother. I assure you my future daughter in law will not need your help from now on. Do, please, live us alone. I have things to discuss with her."
Dregonas did not want to leave Rin, but knew there was no arguing with the king, so he bowed, planted a small kiss on Rin's hand and departed.
With his leave Rin felt like a cold wind blew all around her. She tried to look confident, though. It would not do to show the king that she was vulnerable. He seemed like someone, who would attack more viciously if his opponent were down. She decided that acting humbly would be the best course.
She bowed lightly again and before she raised her head she talked softly "Please forgive my actions, my King, I was tired like Lord Dregonas mentioned and my race is not strong enough to compose itself rapidly as elves can. However I will learn and I shall never act in a way that will disgrace my new family, ever again."
"Very well" said Thranduil. He did not know how to prolong this talk now and he did have much more important things to settle anyhow.
"I called you here to discus the arrangements for your marriage and the way the treaty will be handled." He stopped for a moment. ""I am not heartless. I know this is not easy for you. This was a surprise even for us." Then he spoke under his breathe "Which is saying something, considering the long years we have lived and things we have seen." Then he turned to her again "But we will handle this situation as best as we can. No one involved shall be hurt. Nothing unnecessary shall be done, nothing must be done shall be avoided."
"Thank you, my King" said Rin again softly.
"Now, I already sent word to your father. I am sure you would like to notify them yourself, but we are in a hurry, considering… Well, we must hurry, that is all. I am hoping your parent's party shall arrive here as soon as possible and the ceremony will be held right after their arrival. I know a girl like you would rather a wedding ceremony which would be prepared and planned more carefully and in time, but…"
Rin interrupted him here. "No" she said "No, I understand. Sooner is better. I know. And I also do not mind you notifying my parents. It was the right way I am sure." She noticed that she broke his sentence and added a small "Excuse me, I interrupted you, but it is also important for me that the wedding should not exceed in proportion. A small ceremony would be as good, even better."
Thranduil looked at her with a questioning stare, but this was what he wanted, he did not see the need to question her motives any longer.
"Well then, we are in agreement. Other terms of the… treaty, I shall discuss with your father when he gets here. That would be the proper form and I am sure you would prefer it, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, thank you again, for your understanding." Rin said and felt relieved hoping the talk had ended.
At this moment came the question Rin dreaded.
"So, I know you met Legolas already. But did you have a talk with my son about your future together?"