Author : pixel
Rated: R mostly, but maybe some NC-17 later depends how it goes
Ship: xander/graham/oc
Disclaimer: I own nothing, claim nothing, they all still belong to Joss et al and I'm just borrowing for a while.
Authors Notes 1: Ok this is probably going to have slash, bad language, character death and buffy bashing so if you don't like don't read. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine if you point them out I'll try to fix them. There's an explanation etc in prologue.
Authors Notes 2: Please make an author happy and review and I promise it'll make me write quicker.
Authors Notes 3: I know this has taken awhile but I had to keep reworking it I just can't get Kennedy to sound right, I'm still not happy with this chap but I'm posting it anyway so I can get on with the story as I've already got the next few chaps written. So apologies and hope you enjoy it a bit.
Authors Notes 4: for the purposes of this chapter everything in italics is a flashback/memory
How We Came To This Part Two
Kennedy refused to meet anyone's eyes and her voice was tired and strained as she began to speak, "After Sunnydale we travelled for a bit, just living, Willow was free for the first time in years and the spell she'd used to activate the Slayers had removed the last of the taint from her magic. We killed demons if we happened across them, but we didn't go looking for trouble. We were enjoying a vacation, just getting to know each other without all the Slayer and apocalypse stuff getting in the way." Kennedy's eyes closed for a second as she remembered those carefree months.
She'd fallen hard for Willow and as they'd spent more time alone together they'd forged a connection deeper than either woman had expected. She'd taken Willow home to meet her parents and watched as her oh so powerful lover became a babbling wreck once she realised how wealthy Kennedy's family really were. Willow had panicked and worried that she wasn't good enough or that they wouldn't like her, finally Kennedy had resorted to calling Xander who'd been able to talk Willow down enough that she stopped wanting to run away. It would have been easy for Kennedy to be jealous of the connection between the two old friends and the easy way Xander had of making Willow listen, but she knew that they loved each other as family and that she was the one who held Willow's heart. When she'd finally met Kennedy's parents they'd welcomed her with open arms, they realised that this quiet, charming young woman had a great deal to do with the remarkable changes in their daughter. Kennedy had left a wild and reckless young woman who'd had a knack for attracting trouble; now she seemed much more stable, relaxed and settled. The only dark spot in that time had been Amy, they'd found the former Sunnydale resident living on the streets; a broken and battered remnant of the woman they'd last seen. The young Wicca had finally come to understand how wrong she'd been in Sunnydale and had fallen apart. Her father had been unable to cope with another witch in the family and wanted nothing to do with her; so she was homeless and, out of guilt, she had blocked off her magic. Kennedy had still been angry about the spell Amy had set on Willow in Sunnydale, which had almost destroyed their relationship before it began, but Willow felt Amy deserved another chance. They'd sent her to England and the coven which had helped Willow to recover after her magical breakdown.
"After a few months we knew it was time to get back to work so we called Giles and asked what the Council had for us. At first he wanted Willow to teach at the headquarters but neither of us wanted that. Then the coven detected a nascent Hellmouth in Rio, it was just in the process of forming, so it wasn't as dangerous as the one in Cleveland. Giles and the coven thought that maybe if we went there we could stop it from developing further. They had a theory that Hellmouths immediately start attracting demons to them because they require demonic energy and the blood from the demons' victims in order to grow. So if Willow used her magic to mask the signal from the Hellmouth and I kept the demon population down we could literally starve the Hellmouth and stop it from growing big enough to be a problem."
It had been a magical time, they'd found a hacienda near the ocean and, with Kennedy's trust fund, had been able to buy it and fit it out in style. Kennedy and the two trainee Slayers, who'd accompanied them, were easily able to control the local nightlife and Willow had spent time studying with local witches and shamans, learning new forms of magic. It had been lazy days wandering the local markets and exploring the city that had quickly become their home and nights filled with love and laughter. Dancing at the clubs, participating at one of the many local fiestas, patrolling the back alleys and keeping their city safe. Nights of making love with the first woman who'd ever truly touched her heart. They'd been happy, content even, then in a heartbeat, everything had changed.
"We'd heard rumours about some deaths in a nearby village, savage murders, where the bodies had been ripped apart. We assumed it was a demon, even though Willow hadn't been able to identify or locate a demon in the area, we just thought it was some breed that could mask itself from magic. We spent several days tracking it up into the hills, when we finally saw it……….it looked like a young girl; but we still thought it was a demon, we'd seen creatures that had human forms before and some that could shapeshift. We just never considered anything else. It…no, she, attacked the minute she saw us, she was wild, feral even, yelling about wanting our blood, about killing us; then she saw Willow and it was like she just stopped, froze, then she screamed." Kennedy grimaced as she remembered that inhuman sound. "She went all out then, grabbed a knife from her belt and flew at Willow. I went after her, I didn't understand what had happened, Willow was just standing there; she didn't even try to defend herself. I got there just in time, I had to kill her to stop her from gutting Willow; even then I didn't get it. Willow was practically catatonic and I had to guide her back to the village. I was terrified; I thought the demon had done something to her. When we arrived she asked to speak to the village elders and the village shaman. She asked them about the girl, wanted to know who she was."
As the elders had begun to speak Kennedy had finally realised what had spooked Willow so badly. They'd been told about a young girl, Alena, who had been a normal fourteen year old until one night, a few months earlier, she'd woken up screaming about demons. Alena had never been the same after that night; she'd become stronger than anyone the elders had ever seen and she'd abused that strength. First just by bullying the other children, then she'd moved onto the adults. Taking whatever she wanted, hurting anybody that got in her way. The first people she'd killed had been her parents, after that she'd seemed to crave death, killing on a whim then disappearing for days at a time.
The week that followed had been agony for Kennedy. She'd had to deal with the fact that she'd killed a person, not just another demon but a sister Slayer. It haunted her; she wondered could that have happened to her? If the power had been thrust into her without warning, if she hadn't been found by the council, if she hadn't been in Sunnydale, if she hadn't known the truth about what she'd become, would the spoilt brat she used to be have abused the gifts in the same way as Alena? Without Willow, would she have become a monster too?
Willow was even worse, she withdrew into her mind; she blamed herself for every death Alena had caused. She'd cast the spell that gave the girl her powers and she felt responsible for the murders Alena had committed. She believed the blood was on her hands. Eventually Kennedy had put aside her own grief to concentrate on helping her lover. She managed to persuade Willow to return to their home and once there had started trying to reach the heartbroken woman. At first it had been so hard, she'd had to practically force Willow to eat and sleep; and the Wicca wouldn't talk at all and absolutely refused to use magic. Kennedy had left the defence of the city to the two new Slayers that Xander had just sent from Africa and focused all her energies on Willow. When nothing else seemed to work she'd tried to contact the Scoobies, figuring they'd be able to reach Willow, pull her back from the edge. Giles and Buffy didn't return her calls; and nobody she talked to had any idea where to find Xander.
As a last resort she contacted the coven and help came in the unexpected form of Amy. The young Wicca had changed since Willow and Kennedy had last seen her; she'd come to terms with her past and become a full member of the coven. The traumatised and broken child they'd sent to England had returned a calm and self-controlled woman. She spent hours talking to Willow, gradually drawing the red head out of her guilt and grief and back into the light. It had seemed that everything was going to be fine; then Andrew had shown up.
"He said he'd been sent by Giles, that he had important business to discuss with Willow. She was so fragile still and I tried so hard to keep him away from her; but one night, when I had to help the others with a large vampire nest they'd found, he ambushed her. He had these files on a bunch of girls he said were Slayers that the Council hadn't found in time. Slayers who didn't know what they were, where their new abilities came from, Slayers who'd abused their gifts. He forced her to look at photograph after photograph of dead and mutilated bodies; people who'd supposedly been murdered by these rogue Slayers, he told her that she was responsible so she had to help stop them before anyone else died. By the time I got back Willow was un-consolable and Amy was about two seconds away from turning the little shit into a rat. I was going to beat the crap out of the bastard, but only managed to get in a couple of punches before Willow stopped me, at least I managed to break his nose and crack a few of his ribs. I just wanted him to leave 'cos Willow was hurting so much and she'd only just started to recover from what had happened with Alena. Then he started talking again, he said that he'd been with Buffy in Rome and that she'd discovered a spell that would find all the Slayers in the world and then bind them together so that none of them would ever be able to misuse their powers; but that it would require great power to cast the spell and that it could only be done if Willow went to Rome and helped them.
I wanted to know more, I mean it all seemed so convenient, first Alena, then Andrew and his lousy files, then this spell and everyone we could ask about it was suddenly unavailable. I wanted to wait until I could go with her or at least until we managed to speak to Giles but Willow refused to wait. She grabbed at the idea of this spell she hadn't even seen, she just wanted badly for it to work because she felt so guilty about the deaths; and before I could stop her she was booking her plane ticket." Kennedy stopped for a second and her hand moved up to her neck, she pulled a necklace from underneath her shirt and started to caress the broken crystal that hung from the slender chain. Seeing everyone else looking at the object she was holding, she explained. "It's a heartstone, Willow and I got them on our first anniversary. Two matching crystals, she put a spell of binding on them, a few drops of our blood on each stone to bind our life forces together. She said it was like a mystical marriage without all the fuss and bother of a wedding."
As Kennedy broke off the listeners could all see the pain and grief etched on her face as she forced herself to continue her story, "She left the next day, she was so sure that Buffy had found the answer, that this spell would fix everything. I begged her to wait but she just wanted to get on with it, wanted all the pain and guilt to stop."
Driving them to the airport, both so nervous, it would be the first time they'd been apart since they'd admitted how they felt about each other back in Sunnydale. She'd amused herself en route by explaining, in graphic detail, all the things she'd do to Andrew if he said or did anything to upset Willow in any way. The Wicca had barely noticed, she'd been so wrapped up in her hopes for the spell and already had begun focusing on what she'd need to do in Rome. Standing at the gate, her arms tight around Willow's waist, staring into pain filled green eyes, trying to show how much she loved Willow, needed her. Kissing her goodbye, the passion flaring between them as it always did, wishing they'd had at least one more night together before this separation. Standing, watching as her heart walked away.
The first few days she called all the time, she was so excited about the spell, so sure it would fix everything. She said she didn't like the Immortal much, that he didn't feel right to her; but Buffy trusted him and that was enough for Willow, she stopped trusting her own judgement after everything that had happened. Then the calls stopped, and when I finally managed to get a hold of Buffy, she said I couldn't talk to Willow 'cos she was on some kind of mystical retreat preparing for the ritual.
Two nights later I woke up screaming, there was a pain in my chest and my throat, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. Then I felt her, Willow. She just appeared in the room, hanging in the air at the end of the bed. She looked like she did in Sunnydale, when she did the spell to awaken the potentials, her eyes and skin were glowing and her hair was white. She was incorporeal and I could see on her face she was in a lot of pain; she had a huge wound in her throat, like a chunk had been torn out of it, and she was covered in blood. She told me she loved me; that she was sorry, that she should have listened to me. She said we'd be in danger if we stayed in Rio. She said we'd have to leave and made me promise not to trust Buffy. I remember hearing Amy come into the room, but I couldn't see her because I didn't dare tear my eyes away from Willow in case she vanished as quickly as she'd appeared. She told Amy she was sorry; that she had no choice, that Amy should prepare herself. Then she did something, we're still not exactly sure how, but suddenly Amy was floating right in front of her and I could literally see Willow forcing power into Amy's body, it looked like it was causing them both so much pain but Willow wouldn't stop. When she finished Amy was unconscious and when Willow released her hold Amy just collapsed to the floor. I could see Willow was much weaker; she was fading, less substantial than she'd been. She came closer to me; she told me she loved me again, wanted me to promise to be strong for her, not to give up. She sort of leaned into me and I swear I felt her lips touch mine. Then she was just gone, vanished, a second later I felt my heartstone crack and break. When I looked down it had broken completely in two and the two halves were bleeding along the broken edges. The pain in my throat and chest just stopped, that's when I knew Willow was gone, that she was dead."
As Kennedy could no longer hold back her tears and was in no fit state to keep going; Amy took up the story from there. "I came to a couple of hours later. Kennedy was curled up on the bed crying, she was completely unresponsive and I was pretty much panicking. Willow," the Wicca paused and took a deep breath, "Willow used her last moments, her last strength, to try and protect us all. She dumped all of her personal power, and the extra power she'd gathered for the ritual, into me, along with her memories of everything that had happened in Rome and what she'd sensed once the ritual had started. Trouble was, by itself the power was too much, no human body was meant to contain that much and I didn't have the first clue how to control it. I also knew we didn't have time for me to figure out how to get control. I knew we had to leave, Willow made sure she drilled into me that the Buffy and the Immortal would be sending people after us. They needed the power Willow had gifted me to perform their ritual and they needed to make sure we never had the chance to tell anyone what they were really up to. They couldn't afford to let us live. I managed to get the other Slayers to help me with Kennedy and we stole a car and just hit the road. I managed to get a little control over the magic and was able to keep us warded so we couldn't be tracked.
At first we were just heading away, but we needed a plan so we headed for the USA, I figured at least there we'd be on home ground and that Kennedy and I would have people we could call on for help. We found out later that our house was attacked not long after we left, levelled to the ground by dark magic. As soon as we got over the border we found a hotel and, once I set up the wards around the building, I was free to try and get some kind of control of the power Willow had given me and to try and sort through her memories for any information that could help us. Unfortunately the second I opened my mind I collapsed again, my brain just couldn't cope with all the power and images at once. That was enough to reach Kennedy, it brought her out of herself, she watched over me and looked after me for the three days I was out cold. Like I said I wasn't meant to have this power so I had to change, physically and mentally, so I'd be able to contain it. When I came to I had better control of the magic and access to all of Willow's memories.
I knew that we had to get to Cleveland, that we'd find the help we needed there."
tbc