Truths Never Told

If he had taken even a moment out of time to think about it, the Doctor would have realized that eventually Rose would turn her thoughts to Jack. Thoughts that now commanded an impressive and vast expanse of knowledge. Had he stopped for just one moment to consider the possibility that she would try to figure out what had happened to the Captain, the Doctor would have sat her down and explained to her why everything had happened the way it had.

Well, he would have tried, anyway.

He hadn't, though. Hadn't even remotely considered the possibility that Rose still thought about Jack – she hadn't mentioned him in so very long – therefore not once did he ponder what would happen when she did turn her attention back to the rogue of a Captain that had traveled with them for a short time and managed to steal a little piece of each of their hearts.

Rose still had her fingers on his wrist. She held him in place more with her look than the soft grip that she had on him, her eyes searching his face quietly, patiently. The Doctor took a deep breath and let it out, unsure of what to say or even how to say it. This wasn't a topic that he'd prepared for.

"We can do that. We can go see him," he said with a nod of his head and a half-smile on his lips, trying, and i failing /i , to reach a lighthearted grin.

Rose's eyes narrowed, and the Doctor became aware of one thing very quickly – whatever the right way to handle this situation was, that hadn't been it. He couldn't just jump right in and give the green light to go see Jack. The painful anger that had radiated from Rose with every movement she made and word she said had changed to calm fury in the blink of an eye. She withdrew her hand from his wrist, and the Doctor immediately missed its warmth.

"Why didn't you tell me he was alive?" she asked, her voice quiet with the demand.

"I never said he i wasn't /i ," the Doctor said. "In fact, I recall telling you that he was busy when you asked me right after I regenerated."

Not that he'd trust anything he said during that time, if he had to be honest. Something had most definitely gone wrong with that entire process. His mind had been whirling away at a thousand miles a minute – maybe more – and he'd been well aware that he was spouting off nonsense at various moments as he stumbled through flipping switches, setting levers, and getting them on a course for Rose's mum's neighborhood before the inevitable happened and he collapsed.

"You were talking nonsense!" Rose protested. All right, then. It seemed she'd come to the same conclusion he had. Good for her.

He resisted the urge to grin and tell her just that. Somehow he doubted that Rose was open to bright smiles and laughter right about now. Everything about her said that she was in the mood to yell, scream, maybe even do a bit of slapping.

Oh, he hoped she didn't slap him. Slapping could hurt quite a bit if done properly, and the Doctor got the feeling that Rose was more than adept at it. His eyes flickered down to her hands impulsively, grazing over those long, slender fingers. She'd put some pink polish on her nails at some point. It was a very i Rose /I color. Her fingers moved, curling into her palm, the little pinked tips hidden from view.

He realized he'd been staring and looked away, back into her eyes. Eyes that were once more filled with hurt and questions.

"It was the truth," he told her, laying the facts bare. "I am truly sorry if you thought otherwise – however the fact of the matter is that I was telling you the truth. Jack didn't die on the Game Station."

"Then why haven't we gone back for 'im?" Her voice broke, the anger she'd carried so righteously rapidly dissipating under a sea of hurt. It was a tangible thing, the pain on her face. The Doctor ached to reach out, take her in his arms, and try to wipe it all away. Some things hadn't changed at all between the Rose she'd once been and the Rose she was now. She still i felt /I everything so intensely that it was staggering sometimes. When she was happy, she was very happy. And when she was sad…

Well, he didn't like it when she was sad, and that was really all that needed to be said about that subject.

"You know how it works," he told her gently even as he invaded her personal space, standing no more than a scant inch away. With her new height, she only had to tilt her head up a bit now to look into his eyes, instead of the full-on craning of the neck she'd had to do before. "Once someone is locked into a time stream, they have to see it through. And that's what had happened by the time I regenerated, Rose. Jack was locked in, helping rebuild the Earth."

"And after? Why didn't we go for him i after /i , when he wasn't locked into that time anymore? Hmm?"

That right there was the question that he didn't have a good answer for. No answer that would make Rose happy. He could cite that they'd been busy since that time. One thing had led to another, to another, until it was just simpler to let Jack stay wherever he was doing whatever it was that he was doing.

None of that sounded very good in his head, though. Assuming that Rose had accepted Jack's departure from their lives because she didn't mention their missing friend had obviously been a mistake on his part. Oh, it all made sense to him now, realizing that she had thought that Jack was dead. She had mourned him in her own way, and then she had moved on with her life. Not bringing him up was merely her way of not dredging up painful memories. It had in no way meant that she didn't miss Jack or want him back on the Tardis with them.

All in all, it appeared that he had royally screwed up by making that assumption. He supposed that old Earth saying was true about making an ass of one's self.

"Well?" Rose prompted, and the Doctor realized that he'd just been standing there, lost in his own thoughts, while she waited for an answer to a question that he didn't have the slightest clue how to respond to. His mouth opened, then shut.

Finally, he shrugged. "There's no good answer, Rose. Is that what you wanted to hear? I made a mistake. I thought you knew that he was alive and that you had accepted not having him around. It never occurred to me that you might not be all right with it, that you might have thought he was…"

"Dead," Rose cut him off, voice sharp but lacking the bite her earlier anger had given her. She put a hand up between them, on his chest, and for one brief moment the Doctor thought that she was going to push him away. That maybe he'd gone and ruined this fledgling relationship they had going before it had even had a good chance to get started. But she didn't push him away. Her fingers curled between the open jacket of his suit, against the cotton of his shirt. He heard her breath hitch, saw her eyes water. "I thought he was dead."

The Doctor nodded. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as near-silent sobs shuddered through her body. Whether it was relief that Jack wasn't dead, remembered pain over the mourning she'd done, or a result of the betrayal she felt he had personally committed against her, the Doctor didn't know. Most likely it was a mixture of all three. Three things that he had caused with his own shortsightedness in this situation.

"We'll go to him right this very moment if you like," the Doctor murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss to the silken strands, then another onto her forehead when she pulled back to look at him with tear-glazed eyes.

She pulled her lower lip into her mouth, biting on it in a way that was so very much like she used to that the Doctor would think he could scarcely be blamed for his next action.

Because snogging Rose was certainly not the answer to this situation, even if it did feel i right /i .

It wasn't their first kiss, this gentle press of mouth to mouth. It wasn't the most explosive kiss that they'd ever had or ever would have, that much the Doctor was sure of. He felt as if he were pouring his soul into her as their lips moved softly against one another. She sighed and shuddered against him, her lips parting under. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue out, over that lower lip she'd only just been biting on, then into her mouth. With every flick of his tongue he silently apologized. With every teasing brush of his lips, he said that he'd never make that kind of mistake again. Each taste of her mouth was his way of saying that he would make this right if only she gave him a chance to.

When Rose pulled away her face was flushed. Her lips were swollen and pink from the kisses, even though they'd been far from rough. Would it have been different to kiss her before her regeneration? That sweet taste of her mouth – would that have had an altogether different flavor when she was still Rose version one? He licked his lips unconsciously, still tasting her there. She put sugar in her tea. Lots of it. That had to be it.

They were still standing close enough that her chest brushed him with every rise and fall of breath that she took.

This was what it felt like to be truly happy and content.

Well, aside from the fact that they were about to go track down a companion he never should have let go of in the first place. And how exactly was that going to work out, then? With both him and Rose now changed, it would be just like the Captain to be distrustful on top of whatever else he felt towards them. He supposed, then, that it would have to be Rose that made that first contact with him. She still looked mostly like herself.

Still beautiful.

"What're you thinking about?" she asked, causing the Doctor to laugh.

"You."

"Oh, really?" Rose arched an eyebrow, her lips teasing. "Anything you feel like sharin'?"

"No, not at all. Was never really one for sharing, you know." It was the matter of seconds for him to figure out where in time Jack was right at that moment, and when he did, the Doctor found himself floored. Still, he turned enough to set the controls to the right position, enter their coordinates. With one last flip of a switch, the Tardis' engine was whirring and they were in motion.

"Five minutes and we're there," he told her. "If that's still what you want."

"It is," she nodded. It's just… he might not want to see us. Might think that we left him behind on purpose." No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Rose was scowling. It was fleeting, brief, but the Doctor recognized it for what it was – even if Jack didn't harbor any ill feelings towards them for leaving, Rose was going to be trying to work through forgiving herself for not pushing the issue for quite a while.

"Oh, you know the Captain'll be thrilled to see you again," the Doctor said without a doubt in the world that it was the truth. It was i him /i that Jack might not want to see. "You'll see. Probably be back to flirting with you in less time than you'd think."

Her eyebrows went up, and in the sparkling blue depths of her eyes, the Doctor could see a question. Did he mind if Jack flirted with her? No, of course not. That was just the way that Jack was. It was when he wasn't flirting that the Doctor worried.

Then Rose's lips curled up in a smile that was pure sin and temptation.

"Wonder how long it'll take him to flirt w' you," she said, and her voice was a slow drawl that went straight to parts of his body that the Doctor was pretty sure didn't need to be awake right now. He swallowed hard and tried very hard to look unaffected.

Little good i that /i did with them pressed up against one another like that. From the decidedly wicked look in Rose's eyes, he could tell that she was very much aware of what she was doing. She laughed softly.

"Like that? The thought of him flirting with you?"

He opened his mouth to say that it was more the way she was speaking right then that had him worked up but realized before he could even begin to vocalize the response that it wasn't entirely true. Jack had intrigued his previous self on levels that they'd never had a chance to explore. Most likely would i never /i have explored, given that his previous self was more hands-off than hands-on.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he said finally, trying to sound teasing but coming out a little breathless when Rose pushed her body against him, her hip pressing right i there /i .

The fire in her eyes said that she didn't mind if he liked the idea of Jack wanting him like i that /i . Not in the least.

Thankfully, he was saved from any further conversation on that subject by the Tardis coming to a stop. He winked at her as he moved away to look at the view screen. They were in some sort of building.

And there was Jack, looking at the Tardis like he'd seen a ghost.

END CHAPTER