Chapter 17: Crazy Drunken Fun Part 3.
I HAVE RETURNED, BABY!!! I HAVE A MAJOR HALLOWEEN SUGAR HIGH TOO!!! Sorry I took a while to update, but my computer was being a bitch and wouldn't let me. I finally got it fixed so…. ON TO THE CHAPTER!!! (pant, pant, pant, ok I'm done.)
Kimblee smirked and said in a sing-song voice, "My turn again, I dare…" before he could finish, an explosion occurred and Writer appeared on the only bar stool that wasn't destroyed.
Greed glared at him and said, "Could you tone down the explosions, you just wrecked my bar stools!"
Writer said, "Lighten up, I can fix it with the snap of my fingers."
Greed asked, "You can?"
Writer grinned and said, "I could, but I didn't say I would."
Greed glared and said, "I don't like you very much."
Slicer looked at him and asked, "Who the hell is this guy?"
Thom answered, "He is the writer, and he is our god. Don't piss him off, right Kimblee?"
Kimblee makes rude hand gesture
Kimblee said, "It is still my turn, and I dare Writer to sing a song, I don't care what."
Writer sighed and said, "I'll sing a song called Achy Breaky Song." (Inside joke, see bottom to find out.)
You can torture me, with Donnie and Marie
You can play some Barry Manilow
Or you could play some schlock
Like New Kids on the Block
Or any Village People song you know.
Or play Vanilla Ice; hey you can play him twice,
And you can play the Bee Gees any day,
But Mr. DJ please, I'm beggin' on my knees,
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray.
Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
The most annoying song i know
And if you play that song, that achy breaky song
I might blow up my radio
OOOOOOOOOOOO
You can clear the room by playin' Debbie Boone
Or crank your ABBA records until dawn
Or I can even hear Slim Whitman or Zampher
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon
Or play some Tiffany, on A-Track or CD
Or scrape your finger nails across a board,
Or tie me to a chair and kick me down the stairs
Just please don't play that stupid song no more
Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
You know I hate that song a bunch
And if you play that song, that nauseating song
It might just make me lose my lunch
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
I think it's driving me insane
Oh please don't play that song, that irritating song
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain
Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song, that achy breaky song
I might blow up my radio
After this song, Hughes burst from the closet and said, "I want to sing too."
Slicer picked up a pool cue, and used his alchemy to make it razor sharp. He thrusted it at Hughes saying, "Back foul beast! Back I say!"
Ed sweat dropped and said, "Okayyyy…Writer, it's your turn."
"Ok I dare Blast, Greed, and Kimblee to sing the Family guy FCC song."
Thom's jaw dropped and he complained, "What the hell! How do you expect us to do that?"
Writer grinned maliciously and said, "It's either that or Hughes' daughter, and I hear he has a nice collection of summer wear pictures."
All three of them yelled, "We'll do it!"
Greed: Oh yeah, I know all about the FCC. They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this.
Kimblee: They will make you take a tinkle when you wanna take a piss.
Thom: And they'll make you call fillacio a trouser friendly kiss.
All: Here's the plain situation, there's no negotiation with the fellas at the freak'n FCC.
Kimblee: They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups.
Greed: Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops.
Thom: Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops.
All: Take a tip, take a lesson. You'll never win by mess'n with the fellas at the freak'n FCC.
Greed: And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing, you're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling, cuz you can't say penis. So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst.
Kimblee: And they stuck it in your mailbox, hoping you could be coerced.
Thom: I can think of quiet another place they should have stuck it first.
All: They may just be neurotic, or possibly psychotic. They're the fellas at the freak'n FCC!"
hysterical laughter all around
"Who's turn is it?" asked Al.
"Well, it's my turn, but Kimblee looks like he's itching to say something, so I'll let him go," said Greed.
Kimblee grinned and said, "Oh yeah!"
Jen slapped her head and said, "Why do I have the feeling I'm not gonna like this?"
Kimblee said, "I dare you to sing Boom Boom Boom Boom."
Jen's stomach lurched and she said, "Ah crap… Let's get this over with…"
If you're alone and you need a friend
Someone to make you forget your problems
Just come along baby, take my hand
I'll be your lover tonight
Whoaa whoaa
This is what I wanna do
Whoaa whoaa
Let's have some fun
Whoaa whoaa
One on one just me and you
Whoaa whoaa
Boom boom boom boom
I want you in my room
We'll spend the night together
From now until forever
Boom boom boom boom
I wanna go boom boom
And spend the night together
Together in my room
There was a pause, followed by an outbreak of seizures and Blast slipping into a coma, all caused by laughter.
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That's it for now. The next chapter will be up soon, now that my comp. is working right.
Until then, Blast Alchemist out. Later.
Oh and the joke about the Achy Breaky Song is that my grandma used to make me sing Achy Breaky Heart to her when I was a kid, so I hate that song with a bloody passion, and make fun of it whenever possible. Oh and also, BILLY RAY SIRUS CAN DIE A SLOW, PAINFULL DEATH AND BURN IN HELL FOR CURSING ME WITH THAT DAMNED SONG!!!!
