STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: Truth be told, I don't have the patience or the time to come up with something clever today. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, so there go all your hopes of suing me…
Quick little message from author: Okay, so this one took a while: sorry about that! I've got a lot on my plate at the moment, hence the turtle-paced updating. This chapter is, surprisingly enough, quite Tomoe-centric… PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! But, before you all freak out on me, I must proudly announce that the end of this installment is something everyone will be sure to enjoy. Don't take my word on it though, just read!
Important: Sorry to anyone who was expecting an update yesterday: I DID update but Fanfiction.net screwed up my regular formatting and so I've had to fix it as best as I know how. I hope it doesn't suck too badly but all my stars and smiley faces are missing now because the quick edit thingy just ignores 'em. Sigh I'm really not okay with any of this, but whoever said life was fair?
Soundtrack: Natalie Merchant – Life is Sweet; Nelly Furtado – Powerless (Say what you want); Gemma Hayes – Hanging Around; Los Hermanos – Ana Julia; Vanessa Carlton – A Thousand Miles; Astor Piazzola – Adiós Nonino; Chopin – Nocturne in E minor; David Gray – January Rain; From the RK soundtrack – Starless.
Chapter 16: Facts, Stats and Contingencies.
So she tried to tell herself to be patient. So everyone around her offered comfort and abundant shoulders to lean on presented themselves to her every which way. So she had it made: everything around her was flowers and sunshine. So her surroundings and entourage were as understanding and therapeutic as they come. So, like a fragile, withering rose, she closed in on herself and marked the pages of a yellowed journal, endowing a florid passage with the bittersweet beauty of days and passing fancies that would not return or repeat themselves. So, taking her entirely unawares, love discovered her.
There was nothing like the wind in her face and the open outdoors smiling mercifully upon her.
At first she had been utterly skittish, but when Sanosuke insisted that she go for a spin in his convertible – which had finally made it out of the shop – there was no power on this earth that could have made Kaoru refuse.
It truly was a banged up piece of junk and a poor excuse for a car, but it had a stereo and it granted liberating freedom without the restraining presence of a roof: it was all she needed to feel like herself again.
The world blurred around her as she spread her arms and looked to the sky, not for answers or silver linings, but for the mere pleasure of contemplating this big, vast world of wonders: a never ending expanse of blue.
As she stood unsteadily atop the leather car seat that had seen better days and swayed and tottered due to the vehicle's continuous movement, there were no doubts, no grievances and no letdowns.
Releasing her midnight tresses from the constraints of a thick yellow ribbon, she shrieked with laughter and followed the path the streamer-like hair item carved into the wind with her eyes: contorting and coiling round itself in a rapid succession of graceful motions, it flowed out of sight, unburdened and captivating in its own right.
Lifting her chin, she closed her eyes and let the sun's warm caress seep into her bones and forever remain inside of her. Raising her arms up high above her head, she opened her palms wide and splayed her fingers over infinity, the wind that brushed against her sensitive skin kissing her hands piously. She was happy.
An insistent tug at the hem of her jeans brought her crashing back to reality and, lowering her gaze towards her left, she found a pair of bright, buttony eyes stormily fixed on the road:
"Kaoru, get the fuck back down already!!! Are you trying to get yourself killed or somethin'?!!" Sanosuke cried out, shifting gears in the hopes of avoiding a disaster.
"No Sano; I'm living!" Kaoru corrected, squatting back down into the passenger seat while seeking to maintain her balance.
He gave her a sideward glance and chortled mirthfully, once again focusing all of his attention on the main street ahead.
"You're nuts." He stated earnestly, shaking his head and smiling fondly.
She shrugged easily and tweaked his baseball cap. Their resounding, bubbly laughter was like the ocean tide rhythmically crashing against the shore: inevitable.
It was easy to look smart reading 'The Naked Ape'; feeling smart, was entirely another issue. Being logically and rationally debased into nothing more than an animal by a coherent and acclaimed author is truly a blow to any man's intelligence.
Of course, if one is already very much aware that the human race is a disarrayed mass of bumbling idiots that rely heavily on their primal instincts and that know nothing beyond their needs and wants, it's a safe read.
When the pad's door closed, Kenshin put down a copy of his favorite book and waited patiently for the regular tirade and the occasional fire brigade: that was Sanosuke's cue to speak up…
"If you're sitting out here all alone, then… where's Miss Doom and Gloom?"
"She's at her folks'." Kenshin responded coolly, returning to his reading.
"So Monday isn't turning out to be such a crappy day after all…" Sano said, taking off his cap and running his fingers through his hair.
"Speak for yourself." his roommate proclaimed grumpily, without looking up from the Desmond Morris paperback in his hands.
"What? You miss Tomoe-pooh now that she's conveniently absent for a couple of hours?" Sano inquired dryly, pulling his Yankees cap firmly over his head.
"Don't call her that and no, I don't miss her." Kenshin argued impassively, then proceeded to crankily explain himself: "Hiko sent me a letter, Tomoe is a piñata - metaphorically speaking - , you and I are hardly on speaking terms and I'm out of detergent: what's so great about today?"
Sanosuke shrugged while staring blankly at the contents of the refrigerator:
"According to the radio, I could ride the perfect wave today."
The redhead snorted and pointed at the newspaper lying on the coffee table:
"According to my horoscope, I'll go out on a date with the love of my life today."
"They say that the chances of a person winning the lottery are equal to the odds of getting struck by lightning: open the National Enquirer and read the story about the guy that gets struck twice and lives to tell the tale."
"The chances of being a lightning casualty in this country are of 280,000 to 1: look up the certified statistics on the net."
The hazel-eyed male shrugged nonchalantly, as was his custom, and drank a large gulp of orange juice, straight from the carton.
Kenshin wrinkled his nose and casually began to drum his fingers against the coffee table. He had to ask. He was dying to know. He couldn't ask; he would sound stupid if he did. He had to ask; how else would he know if she was alright if he didn't? He shouldn't ask; it was best if he dropped the subject and go with the flow. But what if she was mad? He at least needed to know that much. Of course she was angry! Sanosuke had said so himself; hadn't he? But why was she upset? She had seemed fine with everything when he'd dropped her off… Trust females with their ever-fluctuating hormonal patterns to be contradiction incarnate! So… he should ask if she was at least over it yet, shouldn't he? If she was, then…
If she wasn't, he had to go apologize, set things right and whatnot; if she was, then… he had no excuse for going over to her house and seeing her, now did he?
To ask or not to ask: weighing his options had never sounded as critical or overwhelming as it did then.
On the one hand, this thing - whatever it was - that existed between Kaoru and his self, it was ridiculous and it would be in everyone's best interests if he took the chance to let it fade away; on the other hand, that chemistry they shared, it was tempting, SHE was tempting and giving it up sounded like the stupidest thing he could ever do. In fact, it sounded more stupid than asking the dreaded question…
Then again, here he was, sitting in his comfy recliner, thinking up stories about a girl and how she supposedly returned his affections. Affections??? Had he just considered harboring 'affections' for the cheery, young and naïve schoolgirl??? Could it be that he… that he… that he liked her? Did he… like Kaoru? Did he, Kenshin Himura, like the pretty, adorable and carefree Kaoru Kamiya?
"Oi, would ya quit it with the brooding already? I 'aint the one thinking hard enough to bend spoons, but I'm gonna need some Tylenol anyway 'cause you're giving me a headache." the football player snapped, drawing him from his thoughts.
"Hey Sano, have you perchance talked to Kaoru since Friday?"
The man in question scrunched up his face in disbelief and disgust: Kenshin was willingly speaking about Kaoru? Kenshin hadn't disposed of the sour milk in the fridge? Yuck! Sour milk! And who the hell used the word 'perchance' in a normal conversation?
"Sure, I gave her a ride home just now."
The lavender-eyed male frowned: those two had been seeing a lot of each other lately, hadn't they?
"I thought your Camaro was at the mechanic's ICU."
"Derek gave me my baby back this morning. I was just driving around, basking in the afterglow of having wheels again and blowin' off class, when I spotted the craziest girl in town walking home, dragging an oversized backpack in tow. Now, I may not be quite like you Kenny, but I 'aint completely heartless; so I offered her a lift."
"Kaoru can be a bit… different, but she's not someone I would classify as crazy Sano." Kenshin reprimanded in a way that did not really have the imperviousness or acerbity of an outright objection, which was customary for him. In spite of the manner he used in his deposition however, he really wasn't particularly keen on standing by idly while someone mocked such a thoughtful and honestly kind person as was Kaoru.
"Trust me pal: when you're speeding – that'll be the day! – and suddenly a girl stands up on the passenger seat, waving her hands in the breeze like a little kid, with no concern for her own safety, then you can draw your own conclusions and tell me to shut up. Until then… she's one hell of a girl, but I 'aint gonna deny that she's nuts!"
Giving himself time to process this new information, Kenshin allowed his eyes to stray towards the reading material that only moments ago seemed so interesting and yet now… now it paled in comparison to the advantages of being amongst human beings, rather than sitting around deprecating the whole of the planet's population.
As luck would have it, that very same afternoon Kaoru had been gallivanting around, being her fancy free self, with that sweet laugh of hers and that all encompassing spirit of hers and, while his best friend had had the chance of witnessing her smile made of sun, he had missed it all.
Really… was there ever anything good about Mondays?
"Is she… is she still mad?" he finally scratched the no longer tolerable itch by asking the aforementioned question without meeting his friend's eyes.
The tall man paused mid-bite and set down the slice of cold pizza he had found in the fridge with a sigh; when would the dork ever get things right?
"I already told you: she's not angry; she's hurt."
Kenshin considered this. He didn't know why or how he managed to hurt her feelings. He didn't know how Sanosuke had gotten a hold of such insightful information; as a matter of fact, he didn't understand why the girl was spending so much time with him to begin with. In truth, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that there were a lot of things at the moment that he simply couldn't put his finger on, much less approve of. However, he did know one thing and he kind of figured it to be knowledge of a wisely fundamental value: he mightn't have a clue as to what was going on, but he damn very well knew what had to be done…
He was a severe man: the determined set of his jaw and his dark, impassive eyes attested to it, not to mention the thin, grim and taut line his lips were drawn into. It was plain as day that he was prideful, autocratic and quite possibly a megalomaniac: the hand-in-vest-Napoleon-Bonaparte syndrome gave him that characteristic high and mighty air, common in middle-aged men of aristocratic descent.
Framed elegance and austerity were consigned to posterity in the portrait of the plantation owner with a crooked nose that hung above the dining room mantelpiece.
Fortunately for the gentleman sitting at the head of the long, mahogany, double pedestal dining table that stood atop a green and mauve Persian rug, he had inherited his great-great-grandmother's nose.
Sterling silver candelabra, Danish porcelain dinner plates, Bohemian crystal wine glasses filled with Merlot and moon white flower arrangements set the tone for a lavish meal and intimate family affair that took place within the cream colored and tapestry covered walls of the Yukishiro dining room.
Oibore Yukishiro, being a stern man himself, had inherited many of his forefathers' attributes as well as several of their estates. The astute businessman had fallen heir to an empire of gargantuan proportions and had not only done justice to his family name, but indeed exceed the expectations and goals he had set for himself.
Right after graduating from Oxford University, at the ripe age of twenty-two, he married the prim, classy and shapely Hana Kitagawa, the daughter of a wealthy, consecrated lawyer with hair spun of copper and doe like eyes. From this union two children were born: Tomoe, the eldest, and Enishi, the rebel teen currently picking at his plate of roast duck with cranberry sauce and wild rice.
Being such a perfectionist and overachiever, excellence did not even hit the mark in terms of high standards previously set for his immediate descendents which was why, after years of unsteady navigation and two persons destined to make their own mistakes and lead the lives that, ultimately, he could never vicariously experience through them, disappointment was beginning to strike home.
"I am so glad we are all having dinner together as a family!" Hana exclaimed, clasping her hands together in delight.
"If you could call six in the afternoon dinnertime, sure…" Enishi commented dryly, his bleached hair and the beginnings of a goatee already enough of a personal affront – in their opinion, anyway – to his parents.
The family patriarch shot an icy glare at the boy sitting on one of the table's side chairs; as if it wasn't bad enough that they had to put up with his disgruntled image that bordered on tarnishing the family name, they also had to deal with his attitude. Sometimes, having made the choice of being a father really made him wonder about his mental health…
"It seems odd that you would come back to this country unannounced Tomoe." he stated evenly, taking a sip from his wineglass.
"Can't a daughter surprise her own parents?" she asked politely, folding her hands carefully on her lap.
"Apparently my offspring abide by this nondescript rule nowadays." he remarked bitterly, casting a dark look his son's way.
"Oibore," Mrs.Yukishiro intervened, "must you always be second guessing and chastising our children? Isn't it just nice to have our baby home again, even if it is only for a little while?"
Hana knew that the noncommittal grunt he emitted was all she would get out of her husband: she'd take that any day over his continued complaints.
"Actually sis, you didn't mention how long you'd be staying for…" Tomoe's younger brother inquired, a glint of hope shining in his eyes; it was quite a change from the typical teenage apathy he had been displaying moments before.
"I'm not entirely certain yet." she spoke softly, offering him a gentle smile.
"Well, I'm sure you'll figure things out in due time dear. Now, Petra made your favorite dessert, did you know? Why, as soon as she saw you walk through that door she hurried off to the kitchen intent on spoiling you rotten until your visit is over, which means that you should probably get ready for Belgian waffles tomorrow morning." Her mother intoned conversationally, subtly trying to ease the tension between two of the beings she loved most on the face of the earth. To think that Tomoe had always been daddy's little girl…
"I'm glad that Petra will be catering to my every need and craving; not even the finest restaurants in the world can compare to her cooking."
"I'm positive that she will be more than happy to hear that, wouldn't you agree Oibore?"
A grunt! How… predictable.
"How is Italy this time of year? It is bound to be chilly now, isn't it? Say, why don't the both of us go shopping tomorrow? Maybe we could find you a new coat or two… or three... or four…"
"Mom, thank you for the offer, but there is no need for me to stock up on winter clothing here; Europe has that one covered, I assure you."
"Can't a mother dote on her only daughter?"
"Can't a mother restrain herself from maxing out her credit cards?"
Hana Yukishiro beamed: her Tomoe was home again! She truly had missed her so!
"Enishi, your food is getting cold." Oibore noted dourly, inwardly cursing his son for having turned into the annoying brat that he was now.
"Thank you for stating the obvious father." he rebuked with a roll of his eyes, setting down his fork.
He hit a nerve. He most definitely hit a nerve! Maybe it was how the boy never seemed to know when to shut up. Maybe it all came down to accumulated stress from work. Maybe the hot rage that wrapped round him was directly linked to his wife's inability to quit while she never managed to get ahead. Or, maybe it was the fact that his bullshit radar was detecting fireworks all around his young daughter's poised form.
The fact is that Oibore Yukishiro had exhausted every single reserve of patience left in him and Enishi had detonated the bomb. In other words, he hit a nerve…or a wire.
"Well, I for one have had enough of this charade." The respectable Mr.Yukishiro asserted, firmly setting his cloth napkin on the table. "Hana: do stop trying to poorly keep up appearances. Enishi: you will show me more respect because your allowance depends on it, and yes, this is blackmail, and no, I do not care that you find that morally improper; you will do as I say. Tomoe, tell me why you are here: believe me, I am all ears."
"I never expected less of you father." Tomoe vocalized listlessly, a woeful smile on her lips.
"But you were still hoping to buy time." he guessed offhandedly, confident in his knowledge of Tomoe's character. People like the both of them were quite easily misunderstood and, hence, underestimated: this never failed to give them the upper hand.
"Time isn't exactly the most important factor to be considered this once, but I fail to see how it would be detrimental to my case."
"Quite an intelligent move on your part darling; why you chose to major in art history over attending business school still remains a mystery to me."
"In the end, driving a hard bargain - often spurred from vengeance - seemed a whole lot like bullying, and strategizing simply came to mean postponing the inevitable."
"So you find my trade dehumanizing?" he asked, a dose of strained amusement coloring his voice.
Tomoe wanted to stand up and scream at him something along the lines of 'If the shoe fits!'… that, or anything she could come up with in the space of three seconds that was ten times worse but, as usual, she restrained herself. It would not do well to anger the man, especially in light of what she had come back to say. Besides, it would not be the first time that she bit back on a few words and bottled up her feelings: in a pathetic, twisted way it even struck her as if all those years of sitting still and waiting on the world to make her own choices for her had merely been practice that prepared her and led her to this very moment. Dread and exhilaration sure knew how to play with a person's head!
"The Yukishiro methods are ruthless and I've learnt my lesson." she answered coolly, sincerely and carefully.
"What you learnt was not to act out on your passions." he corrected harshly, slamming his fist against the table. To think that the years could go by and she would still be able to twist things around!
"No." she claimed discreetly but with no intentions of backing down: if all of this was happening for a reason then she would at least try to make herself heard somehow. "After all the premeditated behavior and carefully set up scenarios that almost cost a man his life, I learnt that there are two sides to a story, generally transcending primitive concepts of right and wrong which a little clemency can shed some light on."
"Assumptions-" he started out.
"–are often misguided truths." she finished up neatly for him.
"Am I to presume that spontaneity and impassioned foolishness have driven you to a point of no return?"
Had she been a more extroverted or volatile person, the sight of his quirked eyebrows and his know-it-all manner would have finally done it for her. Putting up with a comment like that when she had something incredibly important to announce – even if she hadn't been entirely forthcoming about it – was way beyond the virtuosity of the most patient of humans, father or not.
"If I may be so bold, you are to presume nothing."
'Twas the night their perfect, cookie-cut life imploded, when all through the dining room not a Yukishiro was stirring, not even to gasp…
"Talk." he snarled.
"Listen." she demanded plainly.
"You are trying my patience Tomoe."
"I haven't even finished the main course; therefore I gather that you weren't feeling very patient today to begin with."
"Being so far from home has made you forget your manners."
"The passing of the seasons has made you impatient." Tomoe explained calmly, shrugging her shoulders in a dismissive fashion, "None of us are immune to change."
"What are you hiding that would make you overtly confront me?" he asked suspiciously, "If there is one thing you despise, it is causing a scene, especially in front of your brother."
It was like watching a tennis match. The yellow blip of a ball kept flying back and forth, bouncing up and slamming down, each strike that propelled it to the other side of the court more powerful than the last. Frankly, it was incredibly entertaining to watch… even if the consequences of this duel were to be dreaded.
With that in mind:
"Don't put a lid on it on my account; live confrontations are almost as fun as the one's on Jerry Springer!"
Being a non-conformist teen had its advantages: in Enishi's case, this involved getting to say whatever the hell was on his mind without giving a second thought to the possible outcome and repercussions. Besides, it was high time that his sister put their father in his place: this was just another upside to her homecoming.
"There is nothing to hide. I beg your pardon, but how am I supposed to confide in you when I have yet to tell you my reasons for being here and already you attack me?" she demanded airily, ignoring her brother's earlier faux pas.
"I am not attacking you! I am requesting that you be honest with us and, once and for all, reveal the true motives of this unexpected family reunion!"
"You brought me up quite differently…" she spoke, a bitterness that rarely surfaced tingeing her voice.
"Tomoe, your father and I raised both our children with principals of- " Hana began chiding, only to be interrupted by a significantly calmer Mr.Yukishiro.
"Don't bother Hana; let her say what is on her mind. If she wishes to be an ingrate and continue to rehash the past, then who are we to stop her?"
Tomoe flinched and squinted her eyes shut in an effort to ebb the overflowing tide of emotions that was threatening to consume her. Did they not understand? Couldn't they see how hard everything had been for her? She, who had always done the right thing and that had always been misunderstood by her peers regardless. She, who had lost herself countless times. She, who only desired to be happy and normal. She, who finally stood a chance.
"I am through with the past; currently, my main concern is the future."
"And what future do you envision for yourself, dear?" Mrs. Yukishiro prodded gently.
"One where my child will never have to be afraid of showing his true emotions and kindness and understanding shall not be unknown to him… or her; it's too soon to tell yet."
There was a beat of unnerving silence. Enishi's fork paused halfway to his mouth. Mrs.Yukishiro's napkin fluttered delicately to the floor. Mr.Yukishiro's eyes widened in shell-shocked horror. Tomoe… Tomoe just seemed to glow with that interior warmth that happens to exude from those who are about to experience motherhood.
The grandfather clock in the adjacent room chimed seven times, its pounding charging the entire house with its hollow, deafening undersong.
Yes, Tomoe was pregnant.
"More rice anyone?"
Her neighborhood was so peaceful. It always took him aback, how people could dwell in such charmingly picturesque places and be real. Her home, Hansel and Gretel's gingerbread house and the old woman's shoe/abode; they all belonged in the very same fantastic category.
Surely had the Grimm brothers, Hans Christian Andersen or Charles Perrault still been alive in this day and age, Kaoru's front lawn would have inspired some sort of imaginative story – that, or a nonsensical nursery rhyme.
The lampposts that lined the street had a romantic, almost melancholic air about them, their hazy lights weaving a spell that lingered on the tips of tree leaves and tinted them - along with several random patches of pavement - a soft golden hue.
As he, at long last, got up the nerve to unglue his behind from the car hood and head for his intended destination, the piercing calmness that had seemed to wrap around and blanket the velvety night disentangled itself from the inky shadows of twilight and splintered, the sound of approaching footfalls drifting through the cracks.
The gate rattled, feet shifted and then… she was real. Crouching directly beneath the spotlight that an iron lamppost cast, she tied her trainers' shoelaces, her long, obsidian hair hiding her face from view, in turn making him invisible to her eyes and all his earlier fantasizing into solid, tangible flesh and bone.
At that moment, standing several feet away in the shadows, Kenshin asked himself how long he could tolerate not being a part of her life. She - radiant, oblivious to his presence, and bathed in mellow light - was the greatest temptation he had confronted in a reasonably large span of time.
If he was smart, he wouldn't approach her, he would never let her know he had come looking for her; he would let their lives continue on the paths they had respectively been treading prior to the frat party.
As he thought things over in his head and watched her rise from her earlier position, he understood that there was no denying how terribly attracted he was to her, no remedy or cure to be found. Kenshin was aware that he had come to fix things in person because he couldn't stay way and that he hadn't called her sooner because he knew he should distance himself. Both logic and something he couldn't quite place – most likely his irrationality – were warring within, bringing his world to nothing short of unbridled chaos.
Whilst Kaoru smoothed over the wrinkles on her ice blue track pants and white shirt, Kenshin continued struggling with himself, unable to step forward… or backwards. He was frozen, a hopeless victim to the paradoxical nature of any red blooded male faced with a choice that brought to light values such as honor and sincerity and questions like: 'would her skin feel as soft to the touch as it seems?'
"Kenshin?"
After assuring her father that she wasn't a hopeless female going for a jog round the block at night by reminding him that he should be more trusting of his own teachings and, consequently, his pupils, Kaoru had made a run for the gate, glad to escape house arrest if only for twenty minutes.
She had been in such a hurry to make her escape before daddy dearest came up with new lame-ass excuses to keep her locked up in her 'prison cell' - as she fondly referred to her bedroom - that she had sprinted out of the house without tying her shoelaces, an innocent mistake that, were it not for quick reflexes on her part, would have cost her nose surgery.
That is why, as soon as she was past the gate, she bent down and did her nose a favor, all the while cursing herself for not pulling her hair away from her eyes and into a ponytail beforehand.
After tying the laces into knots a sailor would be proud of – knots she would probably break a nail or two trying to undo – Kaoru's thoughts began to wander, even as she absentmindedly tugged at her shirt's collar and smoothed down the creases on her track pants.
That little car ride today had been a wonderful pick-me-up, but she still needed to burn off some excess energy; she also kind of needed to keep herself busy, to keep herself from thinking, an annoying activity that ultimately led her to feeling disappointed and miffed all over again.
Shaking her head, unwilling to go down that particular road another time-too-many, she attacked her hair with a ponytail holder and idle hands, averting her gaze from the lamppost that had momentarily blinded her.
Chewing on her bottom lip, she concentrated on the task at hand, spots dancing, spinning and twirling before her eyes. She refused to waste one more brain cell thinking about HIM: if neurons did not regenerate, then they would not be lost on nothing more than an unlikely illusion.
As Kaoru gradually regained her vision, her resolve hardened… then crumbled like any old sandcastle is doomed to do.
Was that…? Could it be? What the hell?!! Was that Kenshin lurking in the shadows?!! Was she so far gone that she – no, she simply would not allow herself to question her ability to distinguish reality from schizoid machinations of the human mind! Okay… if she wasn't going cuckoo and singing to the birds and stuff then… what the hell was Kenshin doing on her street?!!
"Kenshin?"
Curiosity killed the cat… or in this case cornered the would-be cat – eerily reminiscent of a stalker at this point – into deciding what to do with his stupid hide.
"Hey!"
Smooth, real smooth… The girl had just caught him ogling and he decided to play it cool… by grinning and waving like an idiot. It was times like these when he wished he were someone else entirely.
"What are you doing here?" she asked softly.
She tried to move towards him, but fear kept her rooted in place. She didn't know why he had come by and, more importantly, she didn't know what she wanted his reasons to be or what she wanted to have him say.
Feeling this insecure about everything frightened her: she just didn't like being so unsure of herself and her heart. Her heart always told her what to do, where to go and who to trust, only, after Friday it seemed to be keeping secrets from her and had, for the first time, left her without guidance. Her heart's ever present advice had abruptly taken a leave of absence and until its wise counseling was back in session, she was at a loss for words, actions and motives. After Friday, she had sort of lost track of herself…
"Umm…"
Now that was a good question: why was he here again?
A seventeen year old girl, innocent to the ways of the world – no matter how much she denied it – was standing a few feet away from him with an unreadable, perhaps slightly dejected expression on her face and all he could allow himself to think was that if he had come, it was only to see her. If he had come, it was just to make sure that she was okay, that he hadn't made her sad, that she wasn't hurt because of him like Sano claimed. If he had come, it was because he couldn't get away; he had come because she was continuously on his mind.
"Kenshin?"
So much doubt, so much apprehension was laced in that one word's warbled pronunciation: that unusual hesitance in her voice snapped him right out of it. He was making her uneasy; he never wanted to be the cause of her unease, it just wasn't right!
"Didn't I mention a raincheck Friday?" he spoke at long last, a small smile quirking his lips upwards, a short stride bringing him that much closer to her – which wasn't saying all that much at all. Nevertheless, it was enough to make her pulse quicken.
"I… umm… I guess you did. I just… I wasn't expecting you to…"
"To do good on the raincheck?"
One step closer: louder palpitations; words akin to a confirmation that, if indeed held any semblance of truth, were startling.
"In a nutshell!" she breathed out shakily, offering Kenshin a wobbly smile.
The wind picked up, causing her messily tied hair to whip about her, long, sable strands unfurling in thick vines that sheltered her from the cold and absorbed her form into the cover of the cloudless night.
"I did ask if I could take a raincheck, didn't I?"
Another step closer: overpowering unwonted tremors; incertitude, fright and relief pulling at a diverse range of sensitive heart strings, each more fragile than the last.
"Umm… yes… but people don't actually…"
"Make due on rainchecks?
One more step: hitched breath; hope so eager that it is as vulnerable as any commonly held belief - a flat earth that Aristotle and Copernicus deemed round, humanity in the long run accepting, yet dwindling in the new development's uptake.
"That's the natural order of things!" Kaoru remarked with a high-pitched giggle.
"Then… chaos," right foot forward, "panic," left foot forward, "and disorder" right, left, halt: "my work here is done!"
He was too near for comfort. She was too far out of reach.
"Quoting the populace to make a raincheck sound scary and dangerous: should I be cowering away with my tail between my legs Kenny?"
If he was comfortable this close, then Kaoru Kamiya could take the heat, butterflies and expectant shivers that crisscrossed up and down her spine, not to mention anything else he threw at her; if there was one thing that could get her butt in gear and her mind back where it needed to be, it was a presumptuous boy thinking he could outsmart or daunt her.
"It is much to my chagrin that I must confide in you, Miss Kamiya, how very unimaginative and dull a person I am: were it not for the creativity of others, I would have run out of lines years ago. I believe that, if it worked in someone else's favor, you try it out and stick with it." Kenshin quipped.
"Sounds like a safe way to live… if plagiarizing weren't illegal."
"Well," he said cracking a smile, pleased by her sudden display of liveliness, "I am all about wearing seatbelts and installing smoke alarms!"
"You know… in polite social circles, it is considered tasteful to call people before dropping by their homes unexpectedly after sundown." She hinted at his 'rudeness' – never mind that he was the best-spoken guy she had ever met – smugly crossing her arms over her chest.
Sheepishly, he brought one of his hands to the back of his head and grinned bashfully: riding on impulse wasn't precisely his forte, nor was it something that could follow regular protocol.
"I guess my social skills are a bit rusty, that they are! Having Sano and my teachers as the only human contact in months doesn't precisely warrant the honing of etiquette techniques."
Right: there truly was no sunshine when she was gone! Kenshin had caught the petite girl so completely off guard, that for a second there she had forgotten all about his ex-girlfriend. Regaining awareness of this was good since she could now properly vent the anger she had been harboring. However, once his last words began to sink in and she pondered on how he had - as far as she could gather anyway – shut himself off from the world entirely after the perfect woman – at least that's how she had come to think of her in her silly little self-deprecating head – had walked out on him, she didn't feel like going all homicidal on him. Call her soft and weak and stupid, but she just didn't have it in her to be mean after he so unassumingly admitted to being such a loner. No one could actually take pleasure in that kind of life, not in her eyes.
"You should get out more often Kenshin: you could learn a thing or two!" she proclaimed with feigned flippancy, somehow letting go of any resentment that had recently been plaguing her; it had been too nice a day to bother with petty feelings anyhow.
"Care to be my mentor then?" he asked, realizing that this was his chance to set things right. "I'm not sure that socializing alone is going to get me anywhere… or that it is sane."
Hunh?!! Was he asking her out? What was he on??? Who did he take for her anyway, a last minute resort when all other plans have gone bust? And how come she didn't want to refuse? What was she on???
"Right now?"
"I thought that we both had agreed upon cultivating a 'carpe diem' outlook on life." Kenshin justified, knowing that he was pushing the envelope.
"It's seven o'clock, it's a school night and I have homework." Kaoru stated firmly: if he had to go pick up his ex-girlfriend at the airport and ignore her all weekend, then she had a right to be busy Monday night. The fact that she wanted to drop all pretenses and have coffee with him did not have to influence her decision... did it?
"You also only live once and, as your tutor, I would be more than glad to help you with your homework." he stubbornly insisted, easily finding the loopholes in her logic.
If there was one thing to be said about Kenshin Himura, it was that although mildly self-conscious, modest and humble, he was not a little boy. The redhead standing before a girl who thought she had everyone all figured at times was not some kid from her classroom who had barely made it to second base; he was a man that understood both love and pain. Even if he appeared to be younger physically, even if he could not accept certain things about himself – for flawed he was –, even if he had yet to discover his own heart and still had a lot of growing up to do, he was more experienced and thus less inclined to back off when the object of his desires pulled the 'I-have-to-wash-my-hair-Saturday-night' card on him. In the end, haunted constructs of a less than righteous nature could and would keep him at bay, but certainly not a callow teen's wishy-washy arguments. Rhetoric was not on her side – she lacked the college education for it to be conceivable. He, on the other hand, didn't.
"You might be a math wiz, but you can't be good at everything: it just isn't statistically possible. Today's homework, I'm happy to say, has nothing to do with quadratic equations." Kaoru pressed on, giving him a smug look that seemed to say 'top that sucker!'
"That is true, but one can also be competent in several fields: this too is statistically factual." he countered, something of a confident gleam sparkling in his lavender eyes. The cat was in the bag: except for a specifically tumultuous period of his life, he had always been a fairly good student. Of course, what she didn't know, he could do naught but use to his advantage…
"Unless you happen to know a whole lot about liberalism and war in the context of the European States System, tonight is going to be a very long night of eye-squinting and wrist ache."
Giving it some thought, Kaoru concluded that even if she was putting her foot down because he was being far too audacious, it would be nice to receive some assistance in History and she found herself secretly hoping that he could lend her a hand.
"If we are talking about Canning's 'Every nation for itself and God for us all!' and Locke, Hume and Smith's influence on liberalism, then maybe I can prevent you from developing eye strain."
So much for an individual's incapability to be omniscient…
"Actually, just Locke's influence. But, hey, if I mention those other two crazy kids, I might get extra grades or something!"
Kenshin allowed himself to smirk cockily for a millisecond: it's not that he wasn't modest or anything, but when you hit the jackpot, feeling exceptionally proud of yourself can't be helped; it's human nature.
"Is that a yes?" he questioned hopefully.
"It could be… if I weren't still grounded." she answered, more than a little put out.
She really had to suppress a groan and a mouthful of curses - as did he - when that unpleasant subject was brought to light. True, the reason she was grounded had brought them together, but past serendipity was fast loosing its charm as the consequences tolled in.
"Remember when you almost got yourself killed?" he piped up all of a sudden.
"Hmm… I was trying to repress that one memory but sure, how could I forget?" she responded dryly.
"If you bring your books along, we could go to the diner that didn't serve doughnuts; I can help you study and you can complain about the aforementioned lack of doughnuts." he suggested. "Think of it as a study session on friendly terms; like another Friday afternoon."
Kaoru's heart fluttered in her chest: he was making an effort to spend time with her! Kenshin's brain exerted itself: he longed to spend time with her, no matter the cost.
"How about I let my parents think of it as a study session while I endearingly picture it as a ticket to freedom?"
Relief washed over the strong headed young man as it became apparent that he had gotten his way. At seven P.M., he wasn't sure what he wanted, he was confused and overwhelmed; fifteen minutes later, all he wanted was to sit down with Kaoru Kamiya's delightful self and simply enjoy her company.
Of course, she awakened things in him that made him question the ingenuity of his desires but, for the moment, he was more than happy to settle for her friendship. He could never seek to aspire more or allow himself that much: he just didn't deserve it.
"I'm not one for lying…" he cautioned: if he was to be around her and keep a clear head and stick to the plan he had outlined seconds after her sweet acquiescence, then he would desperately need all kinds of distractions, namely a big, fat book explaining, amongst other things, the settlement that ended the 'Thirty Years War'.
"Oh, we'll study" she reassured him "…some."
"Some is good." he squeaked out.
"Some is good and then some!" she clarified chirpily, all trepidation and tension long gone.
"So?" he asked one final time, to be on the safe side.
Our girl smiled so bright that, had she been a beacon, three blocks down from her house and all across the country the steady light emanating from her could have guided all the cattle home in the otherwise pitch dark.
"Let me go get my things." she chirped, racing through the gate as fast as her feet could carry her.
Kenshin simpered: he hadn't felt this good in days. His bad mood lifted and, somehow, being out of detergent, receiving annoying correspondence from his surrogate 'father' and coming to terms with his former girlfriend being with child were the farthest things from his mind.
Apparently, a bubbly seventeen year old could have quite an effect on him! At some other point in his life, he would have found the situation embarrassing and ridiculous; now… now things were no doubt changing drastically and, as his stomach rumbled, he shrugged away all existentialist crises and pulled a Sano: he centered all his thoughts on food. After all, a guy had to eat sometime…
Reviewer Responses:
To Nigihayami Haruko: I wasn't familiar with the Sheena Easton song you mentioned in your review, but once I read the lyrics, I totally agree with you: had I known of that particular song, it would have been on the soundtrack for this chapter, without a doubt! I know that there was next to zero K/K interaction last chapter, and I am aware that this one has a long part centering solely on Tomoe but I think the end pretty much makes up for it. Hey, at least I tried… looks down at floor all pouting lips and dejected airs Were I to consider Miss Yukishiro's gastronomical inclinations, cod fish would probably NOT be on her favored menu; however, aren't you glad that wasn't her major revelation? Yes, Tomoe Yukishiro is pregnant and Kenshin is not the father: try building a bigger wedge between them than that! As for being a Sano fan… aren't we all? Seriously, how could someone NOT like Sano??? There is so much depth to him and so many things that can be explored through his character! As far as a mopey Kaoru goes, I didn't intend to write her that way, it sort of came out. I'm glad though, because that last part with the phone is one of my favorite scenes in the whole story so, I'm glad that it struck you as 'magnificent', even with all its simplicity. I must confess, adored your review and I'm sorry I didn't update sooner! Please don't give up on me because of my little time inequities! Till next time (I hope) and thank you!
To Shaeya Sedjet: I don't think admitting to Sano being a favorite is betrayal to K/K at all! He is very much an essential part of their lives and their relationship's development. In fact, sometimes I like to think of him as their fairy godmother!!! suddenly gets whacked over the head with a zanbatou Thanks for taking the time to read this fic and review it: it means a lot to me. Here's to hoping you enjoyed this chapter!!! Bye!
To Carrie: Thank you! Thank you for loving my story! Thank you for reviewing! Thank you for putting up with my inconsistent updating patterns! If you ever have any complaints though, feel free to do so: I am open to constructive criticism always! Till the next installment!
To Aryanne: You know, if you like Aoshi's personality then stay tuned because sometime in the near future he will be making an appearance! But, as you very well know, it's all very 'hush hush' as is everything with the tall, broad-shouldered Zen master! That being said, if you have any pointers for his character development – you know, so he doesn't come out all that OCC and stuff – feel free to share! YOU taking lessons from MY writing style??? Are you kidding me??? I just finished reading your last installment of 'Silver Cross' and it is pure genius! Not a fan of the monster, man-stealing, ice-queen and über-bitch otherwise known as Tomoe, hunh? Wouldn't be the first one actually (believe me, I have a long list of people who want to slip her laudanum, bomb her residence, set her house on fire, tie her up and leave her stranded on a railroad track and a million other fantastical 'how to get rid of a succubus' schemes.) Personally, I don't think she's all that bad, but it's not like I want her to end up with Kenshin either. I think it's safe to say that I ruined their chances of reconciling but, she won't be leaving the scene as fast as that. Intrigued? Good! satisfied smirk graces face Thanks for the review and bye for now!
To : Maybe you aren't Cupid but I think Sano is doing his fair share to earn his wings, wouldn't you agree? Hahaha. If you are curious as to the reasons Sano doesn't like Tomoe, it's simple and complicated at the same time: status has nothing to do with the dislike and those two having a past together is a big no-no. I can't explain much right now, so as not to ruin the rest of the story for you, but I can let you in on this much: Sano does not appreciate the way that Tomoe has made Kenshin feel. Sorry I can't be more specific yet, but in time you will come to understand. Thank you for sticking around and reviewing: those babies do wonders to relieve me of stress!
To Rhapsody07: Tomoe, Tomoe, Tomoe… whatever shall we do with her? How do so many RK fans loathe her? Let us count the ways…
To missaw: It feels so nice to get huggled!!! Sugar and spice and everything complex in this life: that is what Kenshin is made of! gets sakabatoued to hell Isn't it just too much fun to make fun of Kenny's androgynous looks, though? Really, he's one of my favorite manga characters and all, and I do think he is drool-worthy (speaking of: have you seen the movie 'Troy'? That movie is taking eye-candy to a whole other level) only, sometimes, he looks and acts too much like a girl. In spite of that, I won't complain: after all, it IS part of his charm to enjoy doing the laundry and cooking and drawing baths for his woman… come to think of it, I should write a fanfic about Kenshin being a housekeeper! Hahaha! Huggles for you too and till next chapter!
To Misato-Katsuragi2: So, Tomoe didn't exactly do something bad to Kenshin but, if you still wanna beat the snot right out of her, go ahead! Only… you are going to have to get in line because there are plenty of reviewers here that will do anything to beat you to the punch – literally! I'm guessing you weren't a big fan of my Tomoe piece this chapter but, I honestly think the end compensated. Oh, what did you think of the revelation??? I am eager to know about that – your opinion is important to me, you know. By the way, thanks for your continuous support: it's inspiring.
To VanyD: 1) You are amazing! You know just how to make a girl's mood lift up into the clouds. 2) You are yet another person who wishes Tomoe would just drown in a pool of her own Tomoeness and, I get it, but I need her in the story. Never fear though, now that she's expecting I don't think Kenshin and her are about to hit it off again. 3) Regular updating is kindda non-descript for me till the end of the semester – only a few more weeks to go! Yey! 4) I promise to read your story and leave a very long review as soon as the semester reaches its end! 5) I love that you are one of my reviewers!!! 6) Thanks for always being there. 7) Farewell and take care!
To EnjeruJoshin: You… couldn't be more wrong if you tried! But, I love you all the same sweetcheeks, so don't worry about it! Well, I think the last chapter was pretty much as long as the others but, since you complained and you are one of my favorites (promise not to tell giggles quirkily) I made this one longer, just for you! YES! I AM IMPORTANT! I AM BEAUTIFUL! I AM NUMBER ONE!!! giant anvil falls from the sky and squashes Iram into nothingness Well, I guess it was time for a reality check after I went into delusions of megalomania. Pat my ego but don't rub it; otherwise it gets too big and is liable to explode. I hope you managed to download the manga – as hard as it sounds given the dial-up connection factor. I'm off on my little cloud now, but keep in touch. Remember… I am this close to accepting your proposal! Kissies! Bye!
To Ocean Fish: Lucy's home now and Lucy has got some explaining to do! ominous thunder booms in the background
"You don't ask me to forgive you with respect. You don't even think to call me 'Big Cheese' or 'Grand Kahuna'. Instead, you come into my story's review section on the day my daughter is to be married, and you, uh, ask me to murder for money…?" Well… umm… I don't know what happened there. I think Don Vito Corleone took possession of my body for a second there. Wow, is this what happens when you forget to review??? Oh well sunny skies and birds chirping Welcome home again pookie! And remember… you are family now! ominous thunder booms one again
BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE AND THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKSSSSSSSSS!