A/N: Can't remember if Carter was an attending in S9. Was he? If he wasn't, sorry for the mistake. This chapter is a little slow, not so much a filler as setting the scene.

Chapter Four

He found her in the kitchen. There were a dozen empty alcohol bottles on the counter and it smelled like something was burning.

"Morning." She jumped a little at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, you're awake. I was just making breakfast." She turned around, flinging the spatula and knocking the frying pan onto the floor. "Damn. There goes breakfast." He laughed and helped her clean up the mess.

"It smelled a little overcooked anyway." He said, attempting to not hurt her feelings.

"It's okay, I know it was burnt." She admitted. "Maybe I should leave the cooking to you." A mischievous smile lit up her face. He couldn't help but to kiss her. All she could think about was how wonderful he smelled and how much she had missed kissing him. He pulled back.

"Maybe you should." He whispered into her ear, making her shiver with the huskiness of his voice. Another quick kiss and he got up, gathering stuff from around the kitchen for another try at breakfast. She watched him, smiling.

They hadn't slept together last night. Part of it was because she had been drinking. He was a good guy and, underneath all his problems, a much better person than she. The other reason? What they had shared last night was almost too sweet, too profound, to taint with wanton sex. He turned around and, catching her staring at him, grinned.

"Pancakes are up." They sat down to eat. She could feel him glancing up at her every few seconds. Not quite the way she had been studying at him. Swallowing the last bite, she looked up at him.

"Okay. What is it?" He put an innocent face on.

"What is what?"

"You keep looking at me, like you want to ask me something." He was picking at what was left of a pancake.

"It's nothing important. I was just wondering about the bottles." He finally said, pointing in the direction of the sink. She was a little relieved, thinking he was going to say something serious.

"Oh. I just poured them out." He is so cute when he's confused, she thought, smiling. "I'm quitting, I guess." She was going cold turkey. She didn't even feel like analyzing why she wanted to quit all of sudden. She had woken up sick with herself. She was tired of being labelled a drunk. She wasn't quitting because she had a new man in her life, right?

"You're quitting, just like that. No AA meetings. Nothing?"

"I thought this is what you wanted? You told me last night you were worried about me." He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Yes. That is what I said. If you're sure this is the way you want to do it, then I'm behind you a hundred percent."

"Thank you." There was something she couldn't quit decipher in his eyes. Instead of trying to figure it out, she stood up and walked silently to the bedroom. Thirty minutes later, she left the room dressed for work.

"Heading out?" He asked from behind the sink. He was doing dishes.

"Yeah. I've got work this morning."

"I'll be in at about nine. Do you want me to just lock the door?" She nodded, shrugging a coat on.

"There's a spare key on the dresser in my room. Just slip it into my locker when you come on tonight." She grabbed her purse and opened the door. "See you later." What an awkward way to leave such an intimate night, she thought as she closed the door.

She walked into the ER, suddenly stopping as she saw Carter. She'd forgotten he was on today. She rushed past the admin desk to the lounge. He entered as she was putting her things away.

"Hey." She looked at him over her shoulder. He wasn't really looking at her. He was looking past her, through her.

"Hey." She closed her locker, turning around and resting her weight against it.

"Listen, I just wanted to apologize for last night. A lot of what I said was harsh and uncalled for."

"I wasn't very nice, either." There was a pause. Neither really knew what to say.

"Do you think we can go back to being friends?" He asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I don't know, Carter." She answered truthfully. "We've got a lot of history. Maybe too much?" He nodded in understanding.

"We should have left it alone." Through the vagueness of his words, she understood what he was saying.

"Too late for that now, I suppose." They fell silent again. She wanted to tell him about Luka, to clear her conscience of that one sin against him, but she couldn't get the words out. It was over now; maybe she should just leave it at that. Carter opened his mouth to say something.

"Trauma coming in." Malik yelled before Carter could utter a word. They shared relieved smiles and left to assist.

By the time nine o'clock rolled around, she was exhausted. Another twelve- hour shift done. She was signing out when he walked in. He smiled at her, brushed her hand as he passed by. She listened in, taking longer than needed at the desk, while Carter handed off to Luka. When they were done, he came over.

"I put the key in your locker." He said, leaning on the desk.

"Thanks. I'll get it when I leave." He had that grin on his face, the one she could never resist smiling back to. The earlier awkwardness was banished with a glance. "I'm headed home now. When's your next day off?"

"Wednesday. You?"

"Thursday." She replied, with a frown. He shrugged.

"We'll figure it out. Have a good night."

"I'll try."

Carter stood outside the hospital. "You slept with him, didn't you?" It wasn't so much an accusation as a weary statement. She sighed, not in the mood for an argument.

"I was drunk, Carter, so was he. And no, that's not why I broke up with you." He looked down at his feet.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" She winced at the hurt she heard in his voice.

"I figured I'd let sleeping dogs lie. We're not together anymore, does it really matter?"

"No. I guess it doesn't." He walked away, shoulders slouched. She refused to think about him on the way home. She wouldn't let him get to her. So instead she shut the world out, letting her eyes close in sleep.