STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: Read it and weep… or rather, every time I read this part of my postings, I choke on a sob or two and wish I would die… not! Rurouni Kenshin doesn't belong to me and, although slightly unfortunate, I can deal with that just fine!
Quick little message from author: Forgive me all for not updating in such a long time – it's been over a month, though I doubt I need to tell anyone. According to the little thingy atop the page, this story is over a year old: wow! Also, thinking about how many chapters I have planned and how I think things are only starting to build up – you'll see what I mean soon enough – I have to gasp and say: double wow! A thousand apologies for taking so long, but I had surgery recently and a week ago my fourth semester of journalism started up again – that's what I get for living on the southern hemisphere! The surgery wasn't anything overly major or dramatic, but it took me out of commission for a while, so sitting in front of the computer and typing away was a big no-no. I'm still recovering, though I feel much better than three weeks ago. I have nothing else to say, except enjoy. IMPORTANT NEWS: My fanfic "ALL I WANTED" has been nominated for the RKRC 2003 awards. I don't know who nominated me but, to whoever did it, THANK YOU!!! I don't really expect to win, considering that I would be running up against such amazing authors as Akai Kitsune and Zeh Wulf, but all the same it is an indescribably thrilling feeling to know that someone thought of me, of my work and decided it was good enough to compete with such other incredibly wonderful fanfics. Once again, thank you.
Soundtrack: Stereogram – "Walkie Talkie Man"; Zeca Baleiro – "Proibida pra Mim"; Steven Speaks – "Out of my League"; Jet – "Are you gonna be my girl"; David Gray – "Tidal Wave; Radiohead – "Fake Plastic Trees"; The Decemberists – "Cocoon"; Nelly Furtado – "Try"; Israel Kamakawiwo'ole – "Somewhere over the Rainbow/ What a Wonderful World".
Reviewing: Who's your favorite character and why? Who's your least favorite character and why? What would you have me change in the story? What do you wish would be different? I'm open for any and all suggestions. Even if it's just one line, I'll be more than happy to read your comments!
This chapter is dedicated to kean as a really belated birthday present.
Chapter 18: Chronicle of an Atypical Love: an Interlude.
AUGUST 2001
Sanosuke smirked evilly and rubbed his hands together like some poorly acted out villain –soap-opera style – before swinging open the pine doors and diving in. If he wanted to look smart and actually dress up beyond his usual shabby faded jeans and football jersey get-up, raiding Katsu's closet was the best course of action.
Luckily for Sano, it was the summer holidays and he was spending them chilling back home, which could only mean one thing: his brother's wardrobe was up for grabs.
Not that he was the kind of guy to give clothes and fashion much thought but… well… extreme circumstances called for extreme measures and this was an emergency!
"What are you doing ransacking my closet?"
Squinting his eyes shut and screwing his face into a contorted expression of both pain and displeasure, the brown-haired man turned around slowly, knowing full well that he had just been caught. All that was left for him to do now was pout and endure all the mocking and taunting that would surely ensue once he explained himself. Oh well, two could play that game!
"I think the bigger question here is: when are you coming out of it?"
Katsuhiro Sagara eyed the young man warily, accustomed to this particular evasion tactic that never failed to disappoint. This was the regular card up Sano's sleeve… and he seemed to forget that it had stopped making him cringe years ago.
"For the millionth time in my relatively short existence, I refuse to dignify that with a response." The black-haired sibling calmly spoke, unaffected by the would-be kleptomaniac standing next to his bed who was clearly jesting at scars that never felt a wound.
"And I," Sano said, poking a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the closet, "refuse to deny that I just saw a red boa in there."
A look of utter terror crossed Katsu's face before some quick thinking relaxed and eased it back into the usual detached façade that was the young man's mask, the one every single person puts on in the mornings –eyelash curler or not – to go confront the world without giving the act in itself much thought. Maybe those good old reliable scars had felt a wound or two after all…
"Although it might be hard for a classic textbook macho-type such as you to comprehend this, it is a prop that I require for artistic purposes." he explained haughtily, something that really didn't help his case any.
The fact that Sano had seen him sneaking off into the night wearing the feathery thing and a really tight muscle t-shirt a couple of years back also didn't help matters. He might have been attending art school, but that in no way justified his choice of an alternative lifestyle; those were two very separate things and Katsu had made sure to pummel that knowledge into him when he'd received his admission letter.
Plopping down on the singles bed parked in the middle of the room, the sullen quarterback decided his best course of action would be to drop the subject, like always.
For years now he had been trying to get his older brother to be open and honest about his sexuality but, for a wide and varied array of reasons, the guy just wouldn't let up.
The truth was that their parents' – namely their father's – reaction was probably something he feared greatly. It was, to a certain degree, a well-founded fear for, even if they had both been showered with love and affection, Captain Souzou Sagara of the police department and Yuko Sagara, a lively, down to earth landscape artist, were neither of the boys' biological parents.
Being adopted was not something that either man gave much thought to – they led common and all-around happy lives with the couple that had taken them in – but when something of this magnitude presented itself, doubts and reservations could naught but string along.
Sanosuke himself, when first confronted with signs of Katsu's repressed homosexuality, had been weirded out and, generally speaking, confused. As a result of his mixed feelings, he had tried to turn his back on the facts and deny what was staring him in the face. However, the painting lessons, Madonna posters, tucked-in polo shirts, purple-tinted sunglasses, beaded bandannas and genuine interest in all of the newspaper's sections except for the sports column were things he simply could not ignore, even if the one person that shouldn't chose to do so and played it safe.
Safe had never been the operative word for Sano but, then again, to him few things were as key as family. And it was this, his love and respect for his family that enabled him to accept his brother's sexuality as nothing more but yet another aspect of his personality. Now, if only Katsu would just own up to it and be happy…
"The truth will set you free Katsu." he spoke seriously, giving it one last try.
For his part, Katsu settled for combing his fingers through his hair and looking away, turning his back on the one person that he knew he could always count on. He really hated having this type of conversation; it was frustrating and even slightly embarrassing to have to deal with the same issue over and over again!
"Why is it that every time I come back home I expect you to have matured and after less than five minutes in your presence reality sets in?" he asked coolly.
Heaving an incredibly deep sigh, the younger of the two males decided to call it quits and use his resourceful knack for getting on everyone's nerves as a means to clear the air between them.
"What can I say bro?" Sanosuke proclaimed, smirking mischievously. "Great expectations: you've always had way too much hope in me."
"Which is something akin to placing a bet on a loosing horse… ten times in a row." Katsu supplied, picking up on his brother's lame attempt to change the subject.
"You know what they say," the brown-eyed boy pressed on, rolling onto his side and clutching a pillow to his chest, "if at first you don't succeed, try again; eventually, you will run out of cash."
"Money, patience: potential is infinite whenever you are concerned, brother." he quipped, taking a seat on the bed beside his one and only sibling. In some cases, water was thicker than blood. "So, tell me, why is it that the contents of my closet suddenly fascinate you so?"
Scowling, Sanosuke realized that the only person that would be owning up to anything that evening would, sadly enough, be him. Might as well get it over with…
Sprawling himself on his back, he clutched the pillow tighter, only to find that owning up to any single fragment of his dilemma was harder to do than he originally thought.
"Well, you see… there's this girl…" he clumsily gave it a go. He might not have been a talented orator but he was a tenacious man, a quality that certainly made up for some of his less edifying traits.
"You have a date." The perceptive art major nipped the thorny rose by the bud.
"Wha… Wait… How… How did you know that?" The befuddled quarterback sputtered, awed at his brother's uncanny psychic abilities; never mind that when something is up with a guy, the problem usually starts with the words 'it's about a girl' or 'I ran out of beer'…
"Sano… it's always about a girl. My closet, on the other hand, hasn't had much to do with it before."
"It's not always about some chick, Katsu!" He belted out, ignoring a pair of amused gray eyes that bore holes into his skull. "And anyway… she's not like other girls…"
At the sight of such desolate countenance, one could not help but come to the conclusion that this was a serious affair for, never before had Sanosuke's face grown so grim at the thought or mere mention of one particular dame. Clearly, and however surreally, the man meant business.
"I'm intrigued."
"You should be."
"Why is that?"
"I shouldn't be the only one fucking confused here, that's why."
"What in the world do you have to be confused about? So you like a girl; it's not the end of the world and it's not like you haven't been on a date before. In my opinion, you are blowing things way out of proportion."
The hellion sat up abruptly, growling at this feeling of powerlessness that had taken over ever since that miserable day on the bus: he hadn't been able to stop staring at her then and he couldn't stop thinking on her now. The whole situation was beyond his control and it frustrated him to no end that his own brother could be so freakishly calm about it. He did too have every damn right to be confused!
"You're not understanding me, Katsu. This girl, she's drop-dead-gorgeous… but she's more than just a pretty face."
Even to his own ears it sounded odd to admit that he wasn't simply attracted to her on account of her good looks. This, of course, threw Katsuhiro Sagara for a loop and now more than ever convinced him that the situation was critical to the point of… to the point of… to a point that was most definitely unprecedented!
"What are you saying, exactly?" Katsu questioned tentatively, placing a warm hand on his little brother's shoulder.
Sighing and rubbing his forehead, Sano propped his back against the mattress and sunk into the thick blue-green seas of the fluffy duvet.
"I don't know, Katsu." He voiced tiredly. "I think what I'm having a bitch of a time saying is that this girl's not like anyone I've ever dated before. She's the kind of girl you wine and dine at fancy restaurants, sweep off her feet with expensive gifts and spend Friday nights cooped up on the couch watching foreign films with. I guess what I'm saying is… she's not the kind of girl for me."
"But you want to go out with her regardless, right?"
"Would I be looking for preppy clothes in your room if I didn't?"
Good. Now that he had him dodging away from the emotional slump he had edged towards and en route to the grouchiness, rudeness and arrogance that characterized his everyday disposition, Katsu might be able to fulfill his fraternal duties and help the poor fool out.
"Where are you taking her?"
"Some French bistro that will have me flat broke faster than the waiter can say 'daily special'."
"You're taking her to 'Le Corsaire'???" The artsy young man barked out in stupor.
"That's the one." The football player responded apathetically.
"You should have asked me for help sooner…"
Tired of being under the spotlight, the impish male decided to mix things up a bit.
"I figured you had enough on your plate, what with leading a double life and all…"
An icy stare and two sentences later, he came to regret his decision dearly:
"I was going to let you off the hook after picking out a decent ensemble for you but, since you refuse to grow up, tough! Now you're stuck with telling me the whole story, so start yapping already!"
"What do you mean the whole story?!! I already told you what's going on! What the fuck more do you want from me?!!" Sano protested loudly, jumping off the bed, the pillow he had been hugging minutes before tumbling to the ground soundlessly.
"What I want? Hmm… let's see now…" Katsu taunted, tapping his chin with his index finger, simulating one who is in deep thought. "Truthfully, dear brother of mine, I have so many questions that perhaps you should just start from the beginning and fill me in on how you came about the first girl that you have ever deemed out of your league."
Looking down at his feet, Sanosuke glared meanly at the pillow he had unintentionally knocked off the bed and kicked it for good measure.
He knew how persistent Katsu could be – genetics didn't always play as strong a hand in the molding of young impressionable minds as did cohabitation – and he was aware that, even though he appeared to be trying to get back at him, the boy that he'd shared a bathroom with for thirteen years was only being supportive to the best of his abilities and throwing him a proverbial life buoy.
With a grumble here and a muffled curse there, Sano settled down on the bed and, after a few seconds of anticipatory silence, began weaving the intricate webbing of a modern fairytale, wherein princesses rode buses and the leading male wasn't quite the prince charming.
"We were on a bus – apparently, when her car's at the mechanic's she's not above public transportation. Someway, somehow, we ended up sitting side by side and, as soon as I noticed her, I couldn't help but realize that she was absolutely the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. So, I figured, why not tell her, right?"
"In other words, you thought she was one hot babe, leaned over and said 'Dang woman! You're some fine piece of ass!'"
Sanosuke shot the man sitting beside him a dirty look and asked himself why he bothered at all: he was never given any credit or respect whatsoever, EVER!
"Who's tellin' the story, you or me?"
"Sorry."
"As I was saying, if she's a looker, why not compliment her, right?"
"Of course."
"Only… all I could think of to say were really lame and cheesy pick-up lines."
"Of course."
"…"
"You were saying?"
"How did I stand living with you all those years?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
Fraternal repartee was a fun activity and whatnot, but if he wanted to be able to pick up his date on time, then Sano was better off ignoring the sarcastic remarks that would merrily and rudely introduce themselves into the synopsis of his personal 'Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond' – or perhaps not so gladly – E. E. Cummings life experience.
"As I was saying… We sat there, shoulder to shoulder and I kept quiet, looking out the window, then back at her; one stop later, I virtually couldn't take my eyes off the damn woman."
"Ah yes… hormones."
"How would you know anything about testosterone if you only secrete female hormones?"
"How would you know anything about hormones period if you never even opened your biology textbook?"
"It's called the Discovery Channel!"
"I'm not quite sure if our parents gave you too much or too little Ritalin when we were kids…"
"I don't have ADD, I never had ADD, no one gave me Ritalin when I was a brat and do you want me to finish telling you the story or not?!!"
"Please, continue."
"Then, please, don't fucking interrupt me!"
"Ever the crass one…"
"Put a sock in it!"
Clearing his throat as loudly as humanly possible, the storyteller resumed his tale, this time praying to the big guy in the sky that no interruptions made themselves heard: it wasn't as if he had enough time on his hands to beat the snot out of his older brother, choose something decent to wear, shower and shave, get dressed, style his hair with gel, pick up the girl his heart was set on AND arrive at the restaurant BEFORE the Maître D' esteemed their reservations to no longer be valid!
"The point is that there I was, freaking leering at the woman, and she was too engrossed in whatever the hell she was reading to even notice me, twirling a strand of her hair round her finger and looking all the darn prettier for it!"
"Are you telling me that you, an arrogant, pompous, chauvinist ass who scoffs at the word 'love' and shivers anytime the term 'commitment' is used in a sentence, have more than just the hots for her?"
"What did I say about interrupting me???"
"Sorry, you just caught me completely off guard!"
"Yeah, she caught me off guard too, which is why, when I couldn't take it anymore, I told her that I knew my future was assured."
Katsu eyed his brother oddly, asking himself what he could have meant with that cryptic affirmation. Seemingly aware of the man's confusion, Sanosuke sighed and in a lower, less enthusiastic tone of voice continued his deposition.
"She looked at me funny too. I swear, I have no idea why I opened my mouth but… I don't know what came over me, but I had to tell her! Up until I'd gotten on that bus Katsu, I didn't know what the hell I was doing with my life or what I really wanted and suddenly, I was watching her read, just silently sit beside me and read Katsu, and I… I felt so…warm."
New understanding dawned on Katsu as he realized how hard all of this must be for Sano. The guy had fallen for a stranger. The guy had fallen for someone without so much as exchanging pleasantries. The guy had fallen…and, for the mighty, it was always an excruciatingly painful fall.
"It was love at first sight then?"
"If by that you mean that I explained myself by telling her I had just met my future wife, then sure, it was."
It was the way that he said it, ever so calmly, with his hands knotted behind his head and a hint of a smile on his lips that proved definitively and indubitably that he knew his heart and the consequences of the aforementioned knowledge all too well.
"How did she take it?"
"She gaped."
"And you? What did you do?"
"I smirked and got off the bus: it was my stop."
Nonchalance? The man had done something outrageous, had acted clinically insane and here he was, picking his teeth with his pinkie and being nonchalant about the whole ordeal? It was enough to make one's head spin!
"Hold on! If you got off the bus without her name or number, then how did tonight come about?" Katsu muttered, struggling to come to grips with his brother's whacky narrative.
"Fate."
"Fate?"
"Fate. And maybe I did some research…"
"Research?"
"Stop quirking your damn eyebrow at me!" Sano complained angrily.
"What kind of research?" He continued, heedless of his sibling's flaring temper.
"I checked out the haunts a girl who reads thick books on buses could be at and, after a week, I lucked out, alright?" He explained impatiently, standing up with a curse when he spared his wristwatch a glance.
"Where did you find her?" The man wearing a beaded bandana on his head demanded, curiosity getting the best of him.
"The public library…" The jock grumbled out, reopening the closet's pine doors and absently peering in.
"You??? At the public library???" Katsu asked disbelievingly, slapping his thigh and chuckling gaily. "Fate really conspired against the poor woman!"
"Don't you mean against me?"
Katsuhiro was puzzled. Why was it a bad thing that he had – after seeking her out – finally found his 'future wife'? He should have been counting his blessings because, frankly. finding someone without so much as a name to go by was no picnic and next to impossible.
"Why would you say that? Weren't you glad to come about her again?"
"I didn't exactly feel like jumping for joy when she shot me down time after time…" Sanosuke pointed out sarcastically.
"Well, what did you do to finally get her to go out with you?"
"I wooed her." The broad-shouldered troublemaker stated simply.
"You wooed her?" The even-tempered male drawled suspiciously.
"I wooed her." He reiterated firmly, before adding with a sheepish grin: "And… maybe she agreed to go out on this one date with me if I promised to stop following her around?"
Gawking, gaping, whatever you would like to call it: if he didn't shut his mouth closed soon, Katsuhiro was going to catch flies.
"Have you no shame???" he managed to sputter out after a few seconds of stunned silence.
Turning away from the closet, Sanosuke Sagara grinned, his eyes twinkling mirthfully, his confidence restored, and answered the question the only way he knew how: bluntly and honestly.
"No."
OCTOBER 2004
Megumi's back was killing her, her head was throbbing and her ankles were swollen: Megumi's conscience was having a field trip driving her up the wall.
Megumi's telephone was a weapon of mass destruction entrusted to her by secret government agents, the armchair in front of the T.V set could do the lambada and her microwave was not only a practical electrical appliance that supplied her with warm noodle soup when she pulled all-nighters, it was also a time machine that would help her stop World War II from ever coming to pass: Megumi had tired herself out studying and had fallen asleep listening to one of Sano's more experimental Radiohead C.D.'s.
The doorbell rang a couple of times before the woman snoring into her chemistry book opened her eyes and yawned. Stretching her stiff limbs, Megumi stood up, took off her reading glasses and dazedly made her way for the door, releasing her hair from a white scrunchie's loose hold.
Blearily, she peered through the peephole and groaned before unlocking the door and holding it open.
"What are you doing here?"
Sanosuke stood in the hallway, a Styrofoam cup in one hand and a dog leash in the other.
"You feel asleep. You have a big test tomorrow. Here." He stated, taking in her mussed hair and wrinkled clothes before forking over the Styrofoam cup.
Was she still sleeping or was her boyfriend – the one she had had a fight with, hadn't talked to for days and actually missed – being a dear and bringing her coffee so she could stay up late and study for her Organic Chemistry exam?
"What's with the leash Sagara? Want me to take you out for a walk?" She quipped snidely, folding her arms over her chest.
"No, I just got tired of the handcuff set and thought we ought to try something new." He retorted tersely. "What does it look like I'm doing? We have a dog, don't we? And the stupid fleabag can't walk itself now, can it?"
If she had previously had her doubts, the haggard woman in lilac leopard print, ankle-length pajama pants and a white camisole was now absolutely certain that she was still dreaming, because not in this lifetime would the infuriating man she had been dating for over two years willingly take care of Max.
"Sanosuke, I know your pea-sized brain has trouble processing information, but we are currently on a break, remember?" Megumi voiced derogatively, flipping her long ebony locks over her shoulder.
So what if she felt the absence of him in every corner of her apartment and every empty inch of her queen-size bed? It was the principle of the matter that counted!
"Megumi, I know your pampered princess ass only hears itself speak, but I guarantee that I never agreed to such a thing."
"I wouldn't expect a boob like you to understand, but if you presume that name-calling and insults are going to get you back into my home and pants… well, it would be just like you to be wrong now, wouldn't it?"
Wordplay and a battle of the wits: that's what it always came down to. It was the modus operandi of their relationship. It was what had been different the last time they had argued, the last time he had tried to make her see what he wanted out of life.
That morning, she had meant every word, she hadn't been playing games and neither of them had ended the discussion on friendly terms. Truthfully, that morning had hurt like hell, perhaps more.
To find themselves, once again, ribbing and bantering was soundly relieving, but knowing that they could turn their backs on all they'd shared at the drop of a hat was frightening.
Sanosuke knew that he loved her; he'd known it as soon as he'd laid eyes on her. The problem was that, apparently, sometimes love wasn't enough.
On this night, a disastrous morning such as the one they had shared Friday could be put behind them and erased from the record, never to be brought up again. However, no one could very well say that there would not be a next time and, if another horrible episode akin to this very one did indeed arise, who was to predict that love would be enough the second time around?
Sano was confident that, just this once, it would do; something in her disposition – possibly the fact that she actually opened the door for him and that it hadn't been shut in his face as of yet – told him so and, for that, he was grateful. However, the future that had seemed to open up before him one warm morning inside a teal colored bus was but a mere shadow of the present.
He loved Megumi – she was his 'unintended intended', after all – but he did not think that he would be willing to become a shadow of himself on her account, though people did strange things for love, just as love did strange things to people: the fact that the pair was having it out in her apartment building's hallway, refraining from smiling and wrapping their arms around one another because of pride's supremacy and idiot stands that neither of them really knew why they need be made, was proof enough that love was a peculiar and mystifying feeling capable of manifesting itself in truly weird ways.
"There's two ways we can do this: you can step aside, let me in, drink some coffee before it gets cold, hand over the mutt and lock the door behind me, let me back in in fifteen minutes and get a complimentary foot rub or, I can carry you out of the way, force-feed the coffee down your throat, drag Max out of here, tear down the door fifteen minutes later and leave your feet unattended when I come back."
"You seriously expect me to-"
"You've got one more minute woman, and then it's over my shoulder and out of the way."
"If you knew me at all-"
"It's been three days, Meg…"
He looked tired and pained; she felt as bad as he looked. Had it only been three days? Why was she putting up a fight? Why did she want to be heaved over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes?
Her face fell. She was trying so hard to keep him at bay – he had never been the type of man she ought to get involved with – and yet her heart would have none of it. It had hurt to leave his apartment that morning. It had hurt to walk away from him but, what else could she do? What would he have her do?
Sometimes, love wasn't enough and she wanted it to suffice. In order for that to happen, they both had to make certain concessions and Sano dropping out of college to pursue an impossible dream was not an option. Love was always enough for every single couple out there until they started running out of money, moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment and had to cut back on their budget constantly.
People didn't live on just love, air and poetry, and his decision didn't affect him exclusively; their entire future could very well be riding on that one choice. And that one choice… it could turn out to be one terrible mistake.
She should close the door. Ever since she'd met him, ever since he'd stalked her for weeks on end, she had known he would be trouble. She had agreed to one date to get him off her back and to convince herself that he was not worth her time; the second date did not have the desired effect and neither did the third.
She should close the door and spare herself future heartache and migraines, but what could she do? What would she have herself do? She loved the exasperating oaf and, for the time being, she had to trust that that one truth could ensure her nights of peaceful sleep.
"No foot-rub: I have to study and that always makes me sleepy."
Stepping aside, Megumi looked him over gently and he, not one to waste such a formidable opportunity, rushed in, reveling in the feeling of familiarity and calm that being within the small, cozy apartment brought him.
"You're already sleepy and, as usual, your ankles are probably all swollen. When that dumb poodle is done with its business, you're getting a foot-rub." Sano stated stubbornly, though with underlying tenderness.
Megumi shrugged and walked towards the coffee table, gingerly sat down on the tangerine colored bean bag she had dragged out from her bedroom and slipped on her glasses. There was no point in fighting him when, come to think of it, she really needed that foot-rub; it served her right for insisting on wearing all sorts of uncomfortable shoes. Whoever said that beauty came at a high price wasn't kidding; Salvatore Ferragamo footwear was expensive and, sometimes, really tight!
A few sips of coffee later, Sanosuke reemerged from her bedroom, a howling, yipping and barking Max cradled in his arms.
"Other dogs like going out for walks; our dog would be happy with a damn sandbox!" He complained, trying to put the leash on the ever-stirring pup's neck.
"You know," Megumi commented casually, keeping her eyes trained on the open book sitting across her lap, "that's the first time you refer to Max as our dog."
Sano sighed and wondered if he would ever get a moment's rest. He was already having a hard time dealing with the bratty furball, he still hadn't really solved his problems with his girlfriend and she wanted to pick a fight so soon after they'd drawn a truce? Sometimes, he wished he had never set foot on that darned bus…
"I thought we'd decided to give op on a screaming match tonight." The wary man blurted out, giving the annoying dog his full attention.
"I'm not picking a fight, I just think it's nice that you're finally getting used to the idea that he's ours."
"And I'm glad that you still think there's an 'us'."
"Why wouldn't I think there's an 'us' anymore Sano?" She turned to look at him and asked, deliberately slow.
"Honestly?" He inquired, placing the now leashed dog on the ground.
"Honestly." She answered softly.
"Friday morning." He stated laconically, shoving his hands inside his jean pockets.
The sepulchral sound of silence invaded every corner of the small flat and threatened to swallow both occupants whole. The air was so thick and loaded with unpronounced thoughts that one could choke on it, feel it worm its way inside one's lungs and burn, piercing through sensitive tissue, scorching and scalding a bullet hole's path through vital arteries.
"Your brother called." Megumi mouthed almost inaudibly, breaking the stifling quiet whilst struggling against the tears in her dark, soulful eyes. "Thanksgiving is going to be at your parents' house this year, which means that we'll be spending Christmas at my parents' home."
Sanosuke allowed himself a small smile: it wasn't that important to talk things out, at least not at present. He knew that eventually they would have to confront this, that it was incredibly stupid of them to bury the hatchet when it would only come back to haunt them, but they needed to be with each other right now and an argument was not going to get in the way of their quality time, not after three awfully lonesome days. Besides, if she had considered making plans that involved the twosome for Thanksgiving, not to mention Christmas, then they weren't that bad off after all.
"Are you sure your parents won't mind?"
"I'm not sure… but they'll just have to deal with it, won't they?"
"It's your call. Did Katsu say anything else?"
"Actually yes: he's taking someone to Thanksgiving dinner."
"What's her name and how much is he paying her to fake it?"
"His name is Kamatari."
"Took him long enough!"
"So you've said."
"You do realize that if you go with me you will witness a disaster in the making?"
"You do realize that if you go to my house everyone will treat our relationship like a disaster in progress?"
"I'll volunteer to go caroling with your brother; I'll loose him before we reach the second house."
"I'll say grace; I don't think your mom and dad will be feeling all that thankful come dinnertime."
"The Captain will throw a fit but mom… I think she's always known. You can say grace if you want to but I've got a hunch that mom will be feeling pretty thankful herself."
"I'm just trying to be helpful."
"Thanks sweetie."
"No pet names."
"No pet names, pet."
"Moron."
"Battle-ax."
"Rooster head."
"Vixen."
And that was the end of it. Megumi went back to reading her boring old textbook, Sanosuke went back to fussing over the presumably agoraphobic canine and the entire situation was all but forgotten, or rather, ignored.
Out on the street, urging Max along, the tall man wondered if he had enough money on him to go buy some Chinese food. Megumi was bound to get hungry – she always got a midnight attack of the munchies when she stayed up studying – and seeing as how he had a bottomless pit for a stomach, it sounded like a plan.
Turning his back on the poodle while it relieved itself by a bush – the housetrained animal also suffered from stage fright – Sanosuke retrieved his wallet and thumbed the thin wad of bills, considering himself lucky when he counted enough dinero to purchase yakissoba, egg rolls and, generally speaking, a three-course meal for four people. Okay, so the restaurant might have been pretty cheap, but it sold good quality food!
Stuffing his wallet back in its rightful place, a worn piece of paper slipped out of it and flittered to the ground. Tugging Max away from a cigarette bud he was busily sniffing, Sanosuke crouched down and picked it up, curious as to what it was.
Giving it the once-over, he immediately recognized it as the page he had ripped out from a book at the library when Megumi had agreed to go out with him a few years back. He hadn't had any paper handy and he needed something to write her address and number on; he had been so desperate and nervous, that he had done the first thing that came to mind to remedy the situation. Mind you, it wasn't necessarily brilliant or legal, but the book had been resting on the shelf on his right just a hand-snatch away and… was the fact that he was direly desperate already brought to light?
Fondly tracing her handwriting with his index finger, the young man simpered before putting the yellowed piece of paper back where it belonged and where he had always kept it. It was a memento of the first moment Megumi had ever given him the time of day and, though he would never admit to 'phony sentimentalism', it was something he treasured greatly.
Max whined and poked Sano's shoe with his cold snout. Sano looked down at his impossible pet and sighed; the damn mutt wanted to get back to the apartment already, he could tell. Apparently, Sanosuke wasn't the only one severely attached to an overbearing nag that could be the sweetest woman alive if she so wished, which was a rare occurrence. With thoughts of chop suey in mind, he trudged onwards, man's best-friend in tow.
Megumi Takani. Theirs had been a fortuitous encounter that had opened both a door and a window for him: he had found a person who complimented and challenged him like no other and he had learned that fate played a role of considerable proportions in any simple mortal's life.
The day she had finally relented and he had walked towards the bookshelf to his right in the library, he had had dozens of books, novels and plays at his disposal, all within reach, all capable of becoming the piece of paper that would close the distance between them, and yet…
Somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond
Any experience, your eyes have their silence:
In your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
Or which I cannot touch because they are too near
Your slightest look will easily unclose me
Though I have closed myself as fingers,
You open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose
Or if your wish be to closeme, I and
My life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
As when the heart of this flower imagines
The snow carefully everywhere descending;
Noting which we are to perceive in this world equals
The power of your intense fragility: whose texture
Compels me with the color of its countries,
Rendering death and forever with each breathing
(I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.
-E.E. CUMMINGS
It was a nice poem. He wasn't a big fan of poetry and he didn't know much about it, but he liked that one, it was his favorite. He knew it by heart. No, he would never recite it to anyone – that was just corny and a different, less frowned upon approach to plagiarism – but he had read it so many times over the years that, eventually – feat of feats! – he had memorized it.
One summer day he had walked onto a bus and, unknowingly, begun a journey to a place he had never traveled before, full of emotions never before felt and experiences unlived.
Max growled menacingly – what do you know? For once, he was acting like an actual dog – and took to hunting down a mouse. Sanosuke, of course, got pulled into the fray and had to stop the irritating fleabag before it hurt itself and caught rabies or something.
See? Unlived experiences! For one, Sanosuke Sagara never dreamed that he would own a poodle, let alone have to keep him away from rodents…
"I will have you know that Norah Jones is an amazing artist."
Kenshin dug around his pant pockets for the car key, retrieved the item, inserted it in the keyhole, held the jeep's door open for Kaoru, and helped her clamber in. No one could ever say that he wasn't an efficient, well-mannered kind of guy.
Kaoru crossed her arms as soon as he shut the door and scowled at him through the windshield as he made his way round the Grand Vitara to the passenger seat.
"I didn't say that she wasn't any good, only that she's no Ella Fitzgerald." He explained as he strapped on his seatbelt and adjusted the rearview mirror.
"Ella Fitzgerald, jazz, bossa nova... you sound sixty." She commented, wrinkling her nose at him as he turned the ignition key.
"Sometimes Kaoru, you make me feel sixty."
"If you have a cigar and a flask of brandy hidden in your glove compartment and you know it, raise your hand!"
Kenshin shook his head and smiled ruefully; the teenage girl could be so infantile at times.
Checking the outside mirrors, the redhead backed out of their parking space and took to the main street.
Kaoru rolled down the car window and breathed in the warm night air. El Niño or La Niña – whichever meteorological phenomena – was really wreaking havoc on the weather; one minute the streets were as cold as midnight in Antarctica and the next it was summertime on a Caribbean cruise.
"So… how about this weather we've been having?"
Taking his eyes off the road for an instant, the architecture major gave the teenage girl an odd look. Sure, the weather had been screwy as of late, but wasn't that the kind of polite and terribly cliché question people made when they had nothing to say to one another?
"Kaoru, isn't that the kind of polite and terribly cliché question people make when they have nothing to say to one another?"
"It's also a legit conversation starter."
"On what planet?"
"The one I go to when you get to enjoying silence a little too much, apparently."
"This again?"
"No," She answered with a genuine smile. "I'm actually beginning to get used to that about you. It's still a bit confusing – that I'm enjoying it too, I mean – so I thought I'd try and work around it – the fact that I'm getting used to it part, I mean – but, come to think of it, it feels much more comfortable than going on and on about the weather, no matter how hot it is at the moment."
"You where enjoying the silence?" He questioned in surprise; Kaoru was such a talkative person that he hadn't really ever expected her to be comfortable sitting still and semi-mute.
It came to mind just how well and quickly they were adapting to one another, all bantering aside. When she was in one of her more inspired moods, he would play her game and come out of his shell far more than usual; when he got introspective and broody or simply tired, she piped down for a while giving him enough time to 'recharge his batteries' sort of speak, but never enough to dwell on depressive thoughts for long. It was a refreshing novelty, really.
"You know what they say: when in good company…"
Her smile was beautiful.
"How time flies."
"Hunh?"
Her puzzlement was sweet.
"When in good company, how time flies."
Her laughter was bewitching.
"Especially when you're over forty years old and counting Jazzman!"
"Now you'll never get that sax demonstration."
"But you promised!"
Her pouting was irresistible.
"I did, didn't I?"
"No backing out if it now mister!"
Her playfulness was charming.
"I don't think I'd want to." Kenshin voiced softly.
Kaoru blushed furiously, the possible double-meaning in his words making her heart soar to new heights. Just as she was about to tell him that she didn't think she'd want him to either though, something came about, a turning point of sorts if you will.
"What was that?!!" The teen squealed as the jeep bucked; hadn't it been for her safety belt, the indigo-eyed girl would have smacked her head against the roof of the vehicle. "Oh no, did we kill something? I hope it was a pothole!"
Okay, so maybe more of a bouncing point…
Turning around in her seat, she braced her arms over the headrest and squinted, hoping to pierce the darkness that thoroughly hindered her sight, and prayed to the heavens that she wouldn't make out the shape of a dead squirrel through the jeep's rear window.
"It was just a bump in the road, Kaoru." Kenshin intoned evenly; his mouth felt as cottony as if he had been on E.
"If you say so…" She acquiesced dubiously; he was all serious again, and over such a little thing too!
Kaoru fought the urge to cross her arms and humph at him before pointedly turning around in her seat, opting to marvel at the scenery instead of paying him any attention.
As for Kenshin….
"Oh no, did we kill something?"
He tried to make it stop, but his mind didn't have an off switch and, thus, like a broken record that went on spinning, he kept on hearing her voice, drowning in her words and seeing the look of shock on her face.
A green sedan passed them by on the two-way street. The traffic light went red and Kenshin took his foot off the accelerator and gently hit the brakes; that's when he noticed, there was a pebble in his shoe.
Reviewer Responses:
To Shaeja Sedjet: So you're into predatory guys, hunh? I'll take that into consideration… I took the advice of my HUGE fan – I couldn't believe it when I read it, I thought it was a typo or something – and wrote mesellf, actually ourselves, a longer chapter: hooray! The fact that it was so long in coming was not so hooray, but my reasons were legitimate and my guilt – in spite of it all – is true too. Thank you for reviewing!
To Rhapsody07: I would just like to take a moment to thank you for your support. I quadruple heart you too for your patience and kindness.
To dfourthhorseman: First of all, thank you for reviewing. I understand that sometimes so much information can be too much information and that that can, at times, tone down the romance considerably; your sincerity on this point was very much appreciated and I will, of course, take it into consideration. Don't you just love constructive criticism? It has come to my attention that several reviewers, like you, have commented upon my "style" of writing; to be perfectly honest, I was not truly aware of the fact that I had a particular writing style but, your words as well as those of other fellow reviewers have made me realize that I actually do have a way of writing that, dare I say, is essentially very much my own. For that too I would like to say thank you, thank you and thank you. The peculiar thing about this story is that when I started writing it, except for the prologue, I didn't mean to make it humorous so, in a way, this fanfic has pretty much written itself. Apparently, I can be quite funny when I want to be… Who knew? Till next time.
To missaw: Ah, I see I have caught your attention with the weird Misao/Aoshi piece last chapter! Soon all will be revealed but, for a little while, humor me and revel in the suspense of not knowing and playing guessing games. As far as movies go, today I saw the new Woody Allen movie "Anything Else". If you like Allen, go see it if not, you can live without it since it's not his best work: like the title indicates, the movie is pretty much like anything else Allen without the extraordinary or extra funny. Also, seeing Jason Biggs act as Woody Allen – the stuttering, neurotic who goes to a shrink once a week and has a complex love life – is kind of odd. Thank you for reviewing and, as usual, I send lots of love your way! Bye!
To VanyD: To tell you the truth VanyD darling, everyone seemed confused by the Misao/Aoshi moment but you were the only one who seemed to truly enjoy it, even if – and to that I admit – it had a perplexing quality. Cancer is not the correct answer but… perhaps you are on the right track? Piece of advice: writing is not an easy task and they do tend to say that practice makes perfect. I have yet to reach perfection – I am not even remotely close – but trying is of the essence. Maybe you don't think your writing is as good as it should be; then work and try to make it better, improve yourself by continuing to write constantly and NEVER be ashamed of your writing: the only way you will ever progress is if you keep at it and put yourself out there. If you do not wish me to read your stories, I will refrain from doing so, but bear in mind that nothing is ever as bad as you think it is. I'm sorry… I know people handing out advice like freaking pamphlets in a crowded street is annoying, but I just don't want you to put yourself down, ever, okay? Sano's back: what did you think? Let me know, 'kay? Kissies and cookies!
To quirkychick14: Don't worry, at the moment I have no intentions of posting a lemon or anything like that – I have a feeling I wouldn't be very good at writing that kind of thing. However, in the remote case that I choose to do so, I will put up a warning at the very beginning of the page. The reason I upped the rating is because many author's accounts on this site have been cancelled due to what has considered mis-ratings. Since I don't want my stories to be erased, I figured it best to be safe rather than sorry and upped the ratings. Thanks for reviewing as well as for your concern.
To PersonaJXT: Thank you very much for adding me to your fave authors and fave stories list: it is always an honor when a reader makes that decision. Thank you for the good vibes and peace and love to you too babe. Bye!
To De Lazy Lime: I am well aware that you were looking forward to this chapter and, in all honesty, I hope I didn't disappoint you with the Sano/Meg focus that I decided to take. As far as expectations go, I know what you mean: the last thing I expected to see when I opened my mail today was a message informing me that my other RK story had been nominated for the "Romance/WAFF" category at the RKRC 2004 awards. Like Forrest Gump's mom used to say: "life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get". If I were to be totally sincere with myself, I would have to admit that, like you, I am looking forward to that defining K/K moment, to that kiss or something but, I am so glad that you understand why not even I can indulge myself. Their relationship, whatever it might currently be, is not without its complications and that prevents both from moving at a faster pace, something two regular individuals in this day and age would probably have no trouble with. Thank you for reviewing and here's to hoping that you liked this chapter.
To Vic'chonn: In your last review, Vic'chonn, you tried to reach ten points of attention but only managed eight; may I be so bold as to take the liberty of going from one through ten in this response to you, one of my dearest reviewers: 1) I finally updated and I finally have the chance to be able to 'talk' with you: this makes ME enormously happy. 2) I had never given my writing style much thought, especially since I didn't even conceive having a particular writing style at all. Thank you for bringing this to my attention for it means more to me than words can express. 3) This story, according to , is over one year old and yet, like I mentioned before, to me it is only starting to come together. I'm glad the amount of chapters in relation to the amount of K/K make out sessions – a.k.a zero – don't have you feeling frustrated. 4) Like everyone else, you too are intrigued by the Aoshi/Misao situation: I'm not saying a word just yet; you will have to read about it. 5) Tomoe and the paternity of the unborn child. You can rule out Kenshin – it would simply be geographically impossible – and Sano – he doesn't seem to like her much, does he? – and start hazarding guesses. Question: what is your opinion on the character Tomoe? 6) Sparkling moments: still frames that make all the difference. It is good to know that that portion of chapter 17 did not fall upon blind eyes. 7) You do not wish to die next week without reading this story to the bitter end and I do not wish to die without finishing it off either. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my AN, I had surgery and that kept me away from computers for a while. 8) You are an amazing reviewer who always knows exactly what to say. 9) I find inspiration for my writing in people who, like you, take the time to seek everything's true worth. 10) Thank you for your support.
To Misato-Katsuragi2: As you can see, all about Misao and Aoshi was not revealed in this chapter, but the answers will be coming and it will all make sense… at least that's the plan. In this fic, Yahiko is mainly a character that serves no other purpose than to tie loose ends. However, he will play a role in the grand scheme of things, no matter how small it might prove to be. It pleases me that you liked my portrayal of him and, of course, how could I leave the "I'm not a kid!" act out??? Have no fear for Kaoru and Kenshin; theirs is a seriously messed up dynamic but all WILL come together in the end… it just depends on which end you are referring to…Personally, I'm not a big fan of Guns N'Roses, hence the little joke at the end of last chapter. However, I respect that you thin they're cool. Thanks for reviewing and see you next time!
To Nigihayami Haruko: You know, you are the only reader that brought the subject of Enishi up: it's nice to see that someone pays attention to those little details and that they even go as far as to appreciate my different uptake on matters such as this. In my opinion, everyone always depicts Enishi as a really bad, psychotic guy and I… I was just tired of the cliché. I'm happy that your views on the topic are parallel to my own. I love the way you described "love" in your last review! You completely understood what I was trying to get across and that has me jumping up and down and shouting for joy. The language of love oftentimes goes beyond words. Many thanks for the review and may you have been fully entertained by this chapter.
To kean: WOW! I TOOK YOUR BREATH AWAY! WOW! I love it when I get very sentimental and passionate reactions out of my readers: that's the whole purpose of writing, to evoke intense emotions, is it not? Don't worry, you think you weren't making much sense but I totally get your drift and I feel elated at the thought of being able to inspire feelings of happiness and all that lalala in you. I am truly sorry that I was unable to post sooner and gift you with this chapter for your birthday but, seeing as what is done is done, the only means I have to remedy this is to dedicate this chapter to you, as a belated birthday present. Forgiven? I hope so! Kisses and well wishes!
To Kouu Sabishii: Hmm… A teenybopper seeing Jessica Simpson? Scary analogy, but it gets the point across rather well! The father of Tomoe's child is still a mystery – though not to me – and as far as marriage goes… you'll see. Are you studying journalism because, man, you are just asking all the right questions! Too bad I can't really answer them right now, but when all is revealed, I hope you aren't disappointed. Thank you for reviewing, for reading, for the Jessica Simpson joke – those are always funny! – and tell me what you think of chapter 18, okay? Bye bye now.
To Aryanne: You are one of several people to comment on my peculiar writing style; I don't know what it is that you all see that is so different – though I am en route to finding out – but it certainly touches me that you feel this way about it. I have made Kaoru a 'teensy' bit eccentric, haven't I? hahaha. As for your suppositions regarding Aoshi and his mom… way off base, but I don't mind since I got quite a laugh out of it! My Kenshin – it feels so weird to say that – is truly a very intelligent man; he just isn't very wise, if you get my meaning. He is a someone who relies on his brain a great deal, but desperately pushes aside what his heart strives to tell him. In this story, my intentions are to make him find a balance. Jiro: you are the only person that read the last chapter to have brought him up. I was a bit nervous about introducing an OC to the plot, but the fact that you seemed to like him sets me at ease. Not a Guns N' Roses fan either, hunh? Seems to me like Aryanne-san digs good music! Thank you for reviewing – I love that you are one of my reviewers since I think your writing is absolutely genial – and hopefully I will hear from you soon!
To EnjeruJoshin: Feeling a wee bit frustrated honey? I know it's not easy to see two bumbling idiots act like the three blind mice when it comes to matters of the heart but, please understand, Kenshin is a very complicated person and he has past issues that he should probably try to work through with a psychoanalyst and Kaoru, she is just heavily inexperienced and young and confused by a madman's – and I mean that in the nicest way possible – antics. How could anyone ever expect them to progress at a decent pace? I can't ask that much of them, I just can't, no matter how badly I want to sometimes! Kenshin grow balls? You're reading the wrong fic darling! Hahahha. I'm not talking about Misao and Aoshi; all in due time. I guess, with me, you just have to have lots of patience. Thank you for considering me special enough to keep reviewing: I love you too. A-kon sounds like a really interesting event, even if I'm not the costume type. That little messenger bag you told me about… I am so jealous of you right now! A kiss on the hand for you and a whispered thank you too. Goodbye!
To Ocean Fish: As you can see, Kenshin is a jazz fan!!! I know that that will make you extremely happy! I'll get back to you in an e-mail soon, alright pookie? Stay safe! Bye!
Well, I'm worn out…