Part 4 - Starfire's gentle touch
Upon entering the room all the titans turned their atention to Robin. Cyborg was there as well as he finished working on the T-Car and left just as Robin entered the gym and spoke with Rage. Robin walked to the couch and sat down, the expresion on his face was similar to the one he usualy has when he was researching data on one of the titans nemesis.
"So how did it go? Found out anything?" asked Beast Boy.
Robin looked at his fellow team mates and started speaking
"Mostly nothing. He said he couldn't tell me why he reacted the way he did. He said it's a personal problem he has to deal with on his own?".
"And did you find out what this particular personal problem is?" asked Raven.
"Remember the dream Rage had? Well it seems that it wasn't fiction or anything like that, it wasn't something his sub conciense cooked up, those were memories. He told me he was a soldier and that he did things he wasn't proud of. I'm guessing that the war he went to and those memories still affect him".
"Now hold on a minute there" intervined Cyborg "How could he have been a soldier? He doesn't look older than what ... 17 or18? That's imposible!".
Robin was thinking about that same fact on his way in and also didn't understand it.
"I don't know, I tryed to find that out too but he said it was a really long story and he didn't want to talk about it".
The titans were just as puzzled as Robin was when he left the gym.
"Did he also grab you like he grabed me and Raven?" asked BB who sounded a little suspicious.
"Not really, he just stood in front of me showing me his scars and sounding angry. After that he left and I tryed to apologize for trying to interfier in his personal life but he said that he was the one who should apologize for being mad. I have to agree with Beast Boy here, the guy really seems to have a screw lose."
"Seems?" asked Beast Boy rhetoricaly "Dude! I already have doubts that we did the right thing when we decided that Rage should stay with us and become a titan. I mean how can we trust him if he keeps things from us and reacts the way he does?".
"He saved Starfire and me from critical situations" replied Robin a little mad "How many strangers saved us and didn't remain loyal? Even Terra helped us defeat Slade when she could've stayed on his side".
Those last words tore into BB's heart like a rusty dager.
"Don't ever compare Terra to that maniac you understand. EVER!" yelled Beast Boy who jumped up and watched Robin dead in the eyes.
Robin realised then that he did a really big mistake and that BB still had feelings for Terra.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to say that".
BB backed of looking at Raven who felt confused seeing how he reacted when he heard Robin talk about Terra.
"Look, I'm only saying that Rage probably just needs some time to adapt" replied Robin who was still looking at BB "Remember when you and Cyborg helped Raven with her problems ? (refering to what happened in "Nevermore"). You asked us almost the same questions and now you have to admit that it doesn't even cross your mind that Raven could ever betray us and that you couldn't trust her. It's the same with Rage, we have to trust him, and be sure that he trusts us, that's what loialty is all about".
Beast Boy remembered the incident Robin mentioned and felt a little strange. In his heart he loved Raven and admited that what Robin said was true but he still had doubts about Rage.
"Please tell us, where is Rage now?" asked Starfire.
"He's up on the roof, he said he needed some fresh air" replied Robin.
"I will go and talk to him" said Starfire who tryed to levitate to the door but was stoped by her loved one.
"I think he needs some time alone, we shouldn't disturb him".
"But what if he needs to talk to someone? What if he is upset and ... ".
"Star" interupted Robin "If he would have needed to talk to someone he would have already talked to me. Have a little faith, when he'll come to his sences he'll come down".
Robin decided that they should try to feel a little better and try to forget about the whole "Rage incident" so he chalanged BB and Cyborg at video games. Raven went next to the window and pretended to meditate, she felt even more curious then ever and wanted to find out more about Rage's problem so that she could help him. Starfire sat behind the couch and watched as Robin compeated against BB and Cyborg at "Total Space Racer 4". She still couldn't shake of the feeling that she needed to go and talk to Rage so she excused herself, lieing that she had to go to the (quote) "Room of bathing".
After leaving the main room she rushed up the stairs to the roof top. She opened the door that lead to the huge roof of titans tower and saw Rage near the edge. For a moment she thought that he would jump off but something told her that he couldn't be capable of such a thing. He had his left hand behind his back and in his right hand he had a lighted cigarette. He looked peacefull and calm looking at the view in front of him, he didn't seem disturbed or anything. Starfire aproached him and stoped on his left side. She againg observed the scar on her new team mate's face, it seemed to be quite deep and made him look more abrasive.
"Greetings friend Rage, I have come to talk to you for we have not yet had the oportunity to have a proper conversation" sounded Starfire with her sweet and inocent voice.
Rage turned his head to see her. "Oh hi Starfire, I didn't notice you before, how are you?".
"I am fine, and you?" replied Starfire.
"Ehhh, a little edgy, but I am okay now".
Rage continued smoking. The smoke he blew out was disipated by the wind and vanished. Starfire was intrigued by this habit and couldn't help her self asking what it was all about.
"Friend Rage, may I ask what is that you are inhaling?".
"It's a cigarette, St. George, english blend tabbaco".
"I see, is it a type of medicine you must take in order to remain healthy?".
Rage smiled and was a little amused by Starfire's lack of knowledge about tabbaco and it's harmful properties.
"Not quite. In fact it's the exact oposite of medicine, it makes you less healthier and damages your lungs as time passes".
Starfire now looked even more intrigued. "But if it is not good for your health then why do you partake in such an action?".
"Because tabacco is adictive, after you start smoking it slowly makes your body feel the need of inhaling it. I am aware that it is not good for my health but it does have one good side efect, it calms me down and makes me more peaceful, sort of like a sedative if you will".
Starfire didn't completly understand, but just as Robin said, he had his own problems so maybe smoking wasn't so bad for him for the time being. Looking at Rage smoke and looking at the cigarette he was holding she thought it made him look more mature. Of course, she also realised that puting your own health in danger isn't actualy very mature but the fact that he was risking made her curious.
"May I try one of those?" she asked.
"I don't think you'll like it" he replied "Have you ever tryed smoking before?".
"Not quite, but I am most curious of the feeling you obtain after inhaling the smoke".
"I stongly don't recomend smoking to any of my friends, but if you are really that curious then just take a puff out of mine".
Rage ofered her his half finished cigarette. Starfire doubtfuly took the cigarette, but she was curious enough to try. After all, what harm could it do if she only tried once.
"And how do I inhale?" she asked holding the cigarette between her fingers.
"Well you first inhale the smoke out of the cigarette, keep the smoke in your mouth, but not to much, after which you inhale some air slowly and the smoke will enter your lungs and after holding it for a few seconds blow the smoke out. Understand?".
"I guess it is simple".
"But please ... be carefull" Rage replied a little nervous.
Starfire did just as Rage instructed her but after trying to inhale she choked and started caughing. The cigarette fell out of her hand just as she started to caugh her eyes started to form tears. Starfire was discusted by the feeling and the taste. Rage went next to his friend and patted her on the back to make her feel better.
"Are you alright?" he asked sounding concerned.
"I do not understand" she replied still caughing "How is it you do not react the same way that I do?".
"Let's just say you get used to it after a while".
Starfire stood up and noded her head. "To be most honest, it is most disgusting and unsatisfying".
Rage looked like he agreed with her.
"That's why I strongly don't recomend it, just like I do with other substances".
"I observe. But, since when do you smoke?" Starfire asked.
"I started smoking while I was on the battlefield. Me and my comra ..." Rage stoped aware he just said the word 'battlefield', he seemed to be struk by lightning "... Ummm, forget I said that".
Starfire looked at Rage with a bit of compasion. She imediatly knew that his problems where linked with him being an ex-soldier. He turned around and looked a little depresed.
"Friend Rage, you must not be ashamed of being a warrior. A soldier is a proud man who defends what he loves most" she said trying to make him feel better.
Rage turned around and looked at her amazed. "Who said I was a soldier?".
Starfire knew that if she would tell him that she heard it from Robin then he would probably be even more upset so a moment of silence fell between the two.
"Robin told you, didn't he?" he asked.
"No, you do not understand, it was not his fault" Starfire tried to object.
"It's okay Starfire, it's okay. After all, you guys probably want to know more about me so Robin told you what I said in the gym. I understand".
"So, you are not furious?" asked Starfire releaved.
"Not at all, I understand that you are concerned about me so I don't blame him for telling you this".
Rage stood in front of her. After a few moments of silence he started.
"Well Starfire, yes, I was a soldier, a special type of soldier infact. I defended my country, my family, my comarades and fought for what I belive in, but even though I did good I am still not proud of my actions".
"You have killed others?" Starfire asked nervously.
"Yes, but as long as someone threatens what you love most you will do what ever you must to defend it. I do not regret killing my enemies, it's something normal actualy, they were warriors just like me and they died like men, in battle. What bothers me are other things, things I wish not to talk about. You must understand that I have a good reason I do not want to talk about my past actions but be sure that when the time is right, I will tell you all what you wish to hear".
"I understand" Starfire answered feeling sorry for Rage and placing her hand on his shoulder "And be sure that if you ever need support you can always count on me, your friend Starfire".
Her voice was filled with compasion and also with friendship. Rage smiled and his face started to lighten up.
"Thank you Starfire, I'm grateful for your support" he replied while giving her a warm hug.
After they separated Starfire glided towards the stairs.
"Will you not acompany me down the stairs to join the others in the 'hanging out' ?" she asked.
"I will hang around here for a while. I enjoy the view very much. I will come down stairs shortly" he replied.
"I will inform the others" she said as she opened the door.
"Alright. Oh, and Starfire ..." he interupted.
Starfire looked back.
"Don't forget what I told you about those cigarettes" finished Rage winking.
"Do not worry, I have learned the lesson and will also teach others about their harmful properties".
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I know, Starfire smoking doesn't add up, but I thought it would be interesiting if she tryed. Btw, like I said before, the pairings in this fic are R/S and BB/Rae ... maybe Cy/T-Car (LOL). So I'm not aiming for any Rage/Starfire stuff ... I'm not writing stuff like that.