AN: This chapter might be a bit long winded but I wanted to get across the emotions Grissom felt due to this book.

Walking Into the lab a mere twenty minutes later, Grissom headed straight to his office. Closing the door behind him he proceded to close all of the blinds before sitting behind his desk.

He didn't know how much time had passed while he stared at the book before him, not quite daring to open it.

After what felt like an eternity, and a few glasses of scotch, Grissom took a deep breath and flipped the cover open.

The first page of the book only had a few words. In beautiful writing the name of his son and the date of his birth and death were written. Pausing for a minute, Grissom took another deep breath and turned the page again.

Over the double page, pictures of Sara were stuck to the pages with a small caption under each one. Stating the date the picture was taken, how far along she was and the names of the other people in the picture with her.

The first two pages contained Saras first two months of pregnancy. In each picture she had one or more of her friends with her and a small smile on her face. A smile that looked strained and did not reach her eyes.

Turning the page again, Grissom smiled as he took in Saras expression. On the first picture, whatever was going on in the corner was highly amusing If Saras expression was anything to go by.

Turning the next few pages, Grissom watched as Saras stomach expanded to accommodate the life form inside her. In every picture she had a smile on her face, varying in size and realism.

Five months, Six months, Seven months. Grissoms anticipation mounted each time he turned a page, knowing that soon he was going to see his first born.

At nine months, Sara still looked stunning. Her swollen belly smaller than many he had seen at the same stage In pregnancy. She smiled Into the camera, sitting next to two of her friends and Grissom could tell she was terrified. Staring into her eyes he felt his heart ache at the thought of her having to go through all of this alone.

Again he turned the page and was met by the sight of all of the Sonograms that Sara had, had done. Running his fingers over them he felt the heartache. He didn't have a son anymore. For some reason he had died. Died a few short weeks before his first birthday.

Pulling himself back to thepresent he filled his glass with scotch again and took a long swig.

Gathering his wits he turned the page. Just one picture was on this page. A picture of his son, with his mouth hanging open and his eyes scrunched up as he screamed. Underneath the words 'Joshua Michael Sidle - Six minutes old' were written.

The next few pages were dedicated to Joshuas first few days of life. Pictures of a tired looking Sara cradling him to her chest, of her friends taking turns in holding him. Pictures of him sleeping and crying and Grissoms personal favourite, a picture of Joshua latched onto Saras breast as she fed him for the first time.

Each new page showed a different stage in Joshuas life and Grissom silently watched him grow, tears streaming down his face. A sad smile gracing his face when he saw pictures of Sara attempting to play with her son, feeling pride as he saw her trying to bathe a screaming boy in a small tub of water and feeling the pain as he saw his boy becoming weaker and weaker in each picture, until the last page of pictures made him cry out.

Pictures of his sons funeral. A beautiful casket covered in flowers. People crowded around and Sara, with tears streaming down her face, being comforted by other tearful people.

Slamming the book shut quickly he jumped as a piece of paper flew out. Grasping it in his shaking hands he realised it was a letter from Sara.

14th July 2000

Dear Gil,

If you are reading this I guess you have seen the album I made for you. I am so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner about Joshua. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I was dialling your number In Vegas, but I couldn't make myself dial all of the numbers. I was terrified of what you would say. When I woke up that morning I knew something waswrong straight away, and I was right. You had walked out of my life. I was devastated, I didn't know what I had done, I still don't, and then when the test turned blue I nearly passed out. I couldn't be a mother. My own upbringing was terrible, as you know, and I had sworn at a young age that I wouldn't have children. I would never inflict pain upon another human being by bringing them Into this jaded world, but with the help of my friends I slowly came to terms with it and found myself looking forward to becoming a Mother. My only regret was that my child wouldn't have a Father, and I know you would have made an amazing Dad. I am writing this letter because a few days ago you asked me to come to Vegas and I am In the middle of packing. I don't know what will happen when I arrive at Vegas. I hope I can tell you of your Son but I don't know If I can. I can't bring myself to tell you that you had the most amazing little boy but that he died.

I guess I should tell you why you are no longer a Father before I ramble on anymore. He had Leukaemia and didn't respond to the treatment. When he was born the doctors said he would only survive two months at the most, but he fought and he proved every last one of them wrong. He damn near had his first birthday before he lost his battle. I made the album not to spite or upset you. I made It so that If I ever did get the courage to tell you, you would have a way to watch him grow as I did, watch him fight, as I did. I wanted you to see him play and laugh.

I have gone on for pages. I always overtalk around you, or overwrite in this case. Eitherway I think I should stop here. I hope you can forgive me for not telling you sooner.

Love always,

Sara

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AN: What do you think? Please review. Thanks