A/N: Rosie, check it out! It's your late Christmas present—Archie! Jordan, your little golden nugget of Christmas joy is further down. When you see it, you'll know! Hope you like! Em, If I ever get snow, I'll mail you some. (Doubt it'll work, but it's the thought, right?!) To the rest of you readers, this story has not a damn thing to do with the baby Jesus or presents, but I hope your holiday was great, nonetheless! This would have been up before Christmas, but someone –cough- Jordan, didn't get some info back to me in time, so blame her.
"Holy hell, who's gay?"
"C'mon, Bobby, it's obvious! Greg, everyone will be so proud that you finally decided to come out this year!" Hodges said, patting him on the shoulder before heading over to the coffee pot.
Archie cut in, "Hodges, shut up. If everyone expects Greg to be the gay one in the lab, then why is there a pool on when you decide to come out?"
"What?"
"Oh, Archie, come on now. Hodges is the straightest guy any of us know," Sara said mockingly.
"Ease up on the sarcasm, Sidle," Hodges bit back.
"Well, sarcasm beats killing people, Hodges." She smiled falsely
"Enough of the giggles, you two." Bobby said as he poured Archie, Hodges and himself some coffee. "Where the hell are all of the coffee stirrers at?" he muttered.
"What?"
"Nothin…who were you guys all talkin about when we came in here?" he nearly begged.
"No idea what you're talking about."
"Oh, come on now. Who is it? Who's gay?"
Greg looked at Nick, Warrick, Catherine and Sara for permission to voice his opinion and when Catherine nodded her approval, he dropped the G-bomb.
"Grissom." he said proudly.
Three more broken coffee cups, coffee scalded coworkers and unbelieving faces created by Greg's fantastically whacked little speculation that Gil Grissom- boss, mentor, and friend- was as gay as a box full of fluffy baby kittens on a sun-shiny day found by a Broadway singing redheaded orphan child that had just been newly adopted by a boat load of soaking wet sailors on shore leave in San Francisco during Gay Pride Week.
After they cleaned up their mess, the three newcomers to the gay conversation walked over to the table to take their seats.
"Greg, can you please tell me just what is goin' on inside that little world of yours, boy?" Bobby asked as he tapped him on the head.
"Is there seriously a pool going about me being gay? Because I'm not," Hodges said, but no one paid attention to him.
"Warrick, show him the paper," Nick said.
Warrick took the tally sheet from Greg and showed it to Bobby, Archie and Hodges.
"Greg is apparently winning, but what's he winning?" Archie asked.
"And why is he winning over Catherine?" Bobby added.
"I'm not gay!"
"Shut up, Hodges!" Nick yelled.
"Is there seriously a pool? No, you're just messing with me. Right?"
"I've got twenty that says you are one hundred percent man loving material, Hodges."
"Thirty."
"Twenty-five."
"I got twenty here too."
"Fifty says you're gay," Sara said proudly that she'd bet the most.
"I'm not gay!" he protested.
"Hey, man, if it makes you feel any better, Hodges, I've got ten that says you're straight." Nick said.
"Well, thank you, Nick. That does make me feel better," Hodges smiled.
"Really? Well, it shouldn't. The only reason Nick went with straight was because all of the gay squares were taken!" Greg laughed and was quickly joined by everyone but Hodges.
"Ease up, Hodges. No one cares if you're gay!"
"You guys seriously need to explain this whole tally sheet thing to us," Archie said. "Why does Greg have three points and Catherine… well, Catherine doesn't have any?"
"What? I don't have any?!" Catherine yelled as she snagged the paper from Archie "Warrick, what about my last thought? Why the hell didn't you write that down? Your ass better write that down!"
"I take it Catherine says he isn't gay?" Bobby asked.
"And I agree," Sara added.
"What was her last point?" Hodges asked.
"The Holly Gribbs thing."
"Grissom slept with Holly?!"
"Give her the point man!"
"Hell, give her two!"
"Oh, man, Catherine. I think they are actually all retarded," Sara laughed.
"As I said before, no, you idiots. I know you three," indicating Bobby, Archie and Hodges, "weren't around for that whole fiasco, but Sara here caused quite a little bitch-fit with the higher ups."
Receiving nothing but confused looks, Catherine continued. "Warrick messed up big time and was supposed to be investigated, fired, yadda yadda. So we're all thinking that one of us is doing it, maybe Grissom himself or just someone from another shift. Hell no, he goes outside of the lab without saying a word to anyone. One day Holly is gone and the next day Miss Thing is here. He never told us he was bringing her. All he could talk about to me after she got here though, was her."
"Really?" Sara interrupted with a smile.
"Yeah. So my point is, if Grissom is gay, then why is she here instead of some hot little piece of man meat for Grissom to stare at? He had to know she had feelings for him when he brought her here. I mean, sure the man is far short of being emotionally and socially gifted, but he isn't blind."
And at that, Warrick took the tally sheet and gave Catherine her point.
"So what are Greg's points for?"
"Dominatrix house after we learned about the male escorts, something about being date ditched by Terri Miller and then we have Sara here."
"What about her?" Archie asked.
"What about her?!" Greg screeched as he got out of his chair and made his way to Sara. He pulled he out of his chair and pointed at her like a museum display. "What about her? Are you gay? He never, ever made an effort! How is that not incriminating? She's hot, smart, amazing, funny, smells like lavender and vanilla, her laugh can fix the worst days, she's…hot. If he's not gay, then at the very least Grissom is the most unappreciative, ignorant man on the face of the Earth. I see it, I know you see it. He has to!" He went back and sat down, leaving a blushing Sara to take her seat again as well.
"Someone likes Sara," Hodges said in a singsongy voice like he had just discovered some thousand year old secret.
"No shit!" came from the rest of the group.
"Whatever. Why don't you just go ask the man if he's gay, Greg?" was Hodges' response.
Everyone just kind of looked at Hodges like how you look at that unidentifiable gunk on the bottom of your shoe. Ask Gil Grissom- keeper of secrets deep and dark enough to shame the Pentagon- if he was gay? They burst into laughter and tears while pointing at Hodges and asking if he was serious.
"Yes, of course I am. Unless you want to stalk him, which I am totally game for by the way, how else are we going to find out if he's gay or not?"
They slowly stopped laughing at him. Holy crap, Hodges was right. Short of stalking the man, no one else could think of anything else.
"Well, go ask him, Hodges," Nick ordered.
"Oh, no! I don't even think so. My idea, not my plan. The rest is on you guys."
"Simple, we'll draw for it," Bobby said.
"I'll get straws," Archie said as he went for coffee stirrers.
"We're out, remember?"
Sara looked to Warrick and asked, "Warrick, do you still have those cards we were playing with the other day?"
"Yeah, Sara. I think they're in my locker, I'll go get 'em."
"No need. I've got some," Greg said.
"You do?" Catherine asked unbelievingly.
"Um, yeah." Greg snorted, pulling the deck out and waiving them at her.
"You just randomly carry around a deck of cards in your back pocket?"
"Yeah, I'm easily bored." He threw the deck on the table.
"Archie did you give him those?"
"What, because I'm Asian?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"They're Asian porn star cards," Sara said pointing to the cards.
"Yeah?" all of the guys, including the self proclaimed non-gay Hodges said.
"Ew." Came from Catherine and Sara.
"What are you two, the playing card Nazi's?"
"No," Sara said. "Just…do we need gloves to draw or…"
"No, of course not. Judy just bought these for me last week," Greg smirked.
"Nice." Bobby high-fived him.
"She doesn't mind the fact that I've got the Yellow Fever."
That earned him a high five from Archie.
"Alright, Playboy, aces high or low?" Catherine asked.
"Um, high I guess?" he looked around the table.
"Fine with me," Nick said.
"High's great," Warrick agreed.
"Let's just freaking draw already," Sara demanded.
Greg shuffled the deck and everyone reached in for their cards. Hodges was thrilled with his B-list two of hearts. Bobby and Nick both managed to dig a seven out of the pile. Archie gladly settled for a beauty named 'Killer' on his ten. Warrick and Catherine were both scared as hell when Jacks ended up in their hands, but when they saw that Greg and Sara had yet to lay down their cards, breathing got easier.
"You first, Sara," Greg said.
"They're your cards, Peeping Tom, you first."
"Please Sara," he begged.
"Oh, would someone just lay down a damn card?!" Hodges yelled. Everyone was dying to see who was going to ask. As a matter of fact, they were so caught up in the cards, they had all failed to notice that Grissom was now in the building.
"Greg!" Sara demanded.
"Fine!" he slowly placed the card on the table with both of his eyes closed as if that would make the value of his card go down.
Sara leaned across the table to get a look at the card. Once she saw the 'K' on the corner, she wanted to just die. She knew that the best she possibly could have hoped for was that Greg had an ace as well and that there would be a re-draw. Hell no, why would luck choose today to grace the presence of Sara Sidle? She sighed, dropped her card and fell back in her seat. 'What kind of lame ass porn name in 'Jersey' anyway?'
Greg reached over and snagged hers up. "Yes! Yes! Oh, my God! Yes! Ace! It's Jersey too!" he yelled, showing the card of Sara's downfall to everyone. "She's my favorite! Judy says that my obsession is unhealthy, but whatever! Yes, Jersey, you hot little piece of Asia!"
"Oh, my God," Sara sighed. She now had to ask Grissom if he was gay. Remember the reaction to the date question? Yeah, well now she gets to go and question the man's sexuality. Oh, how she was looking forward to this…
"So how are you going to ask?"
"Well, Bobby, how does 'So, Grissom, you like guys?' sound?"
Nick laughed, "Maybe you should lead into the question, Sara."
"I'll figure it out," she sighed
"Twenty bucks says you'll chicken out," Archie said.
"Oh, I'm in on that! Twenty for me too," Bobby said.
"Twenty five."
"Fifty," Hodges said with revenge in his eyes.
"Hey, what the hell? I'm gonna ask!" Sara yelled.
Maybe they should start paying attention to what's going on around them because -incoming Grissom!
"How though?"
"I'll just sit Grissom down and ask I guess. I need to ask him." She shrugged.
"What are you asking me?" Grissom asked as he entered.
No answer from Sara, she was frozen. No answer from Greg, Archie or Bobby since they were cleaning up, apparently, the best Asia had to offer. Warrick was getting rid of the tally sheet and Catherine and Nick had struck up a fake ass conversation to appear busy. This left Hodges to aide Sara, but he's a professional kiss-ass so he had this covered. Right?
If you do recall, Sara had bet the most money on Hodges being gay and, in revenge, Hodges had just bet the most on Sara wussing out on asking Grissom. Why not secure that bet and screw Sara over right when a pristine opportunity presented itself?
Hodges jumped at the chance. "Something that couldn't wait was all she would tell us. Important, right, Sara?" he asked looking right at her with a smirk.
"Not too important, Hodges, no. It can wait, Griss. Don't worry," she said, mentally drawing a target on Hodges' throat.
Grissom didn't want to wait though. If Sara wanted to ask him something in private, then dammit, privacy was what she was going to get. Ever since he had turned her down when she asked him out, he had been waiting for another chance, anther time where she would ask him out. He was too afraid to do it himself, so she was going to need to do it first. Could this finally be it? Could this finally be the day that Sara gives him his second chance? Well, if it is that day, the word 'no' was the last on his mind. 'Yes' was the only one there.
"Sara?"
"Yes, Grissom?" she sighed through a false smile.
"Would you like to go to my office and talk?"
"Why not?" she said and put her hand in the air for emphasis. "It cant really wait, so we better go. Right, Hodges?" Oh, if looks could kill.
"I'll meet you there, I've got a couple of stops to make first…" and he left the room.
Sara turned to Hodges who instantly stopped grinning. "I'll give you to the count of five."
"Oh, come on now," he said.
"One."
"Sara?"
"Two."
"Hodges, you should…" Nick said, pointing to the door.
"Three." Sara stepped closer to him.
"It was a joke."
"Four."
He took off out the door running.
"Five." And Sara was out the door after him. Grissom could wait.
Well…you like? I sure as hell hope so!
Click the button people, don't make me hunt you down…
thegreatbluespoon---Well, postponing Christmas didn't work, we still had it. Apparently though when I asked for snow, what I actually asked for was rain. That's all we got in Illinois. So I didn't get my white Christmas, but I still want snow. If I don't get it when I ask for it, then maybe if I ask for flaming balls of pain from the sky I will. We'll try that out.