A/N 1: You guys, what the hell? Did no one get that movie? I'm telling you it is Sara and Grissom through and freaking through! No one gets mad props from me…Hey, your fault, not mine. When the world ends in 2012 and none of you have mad props from me, well, just remember that I gave you fair warning…
Super long A/N 2 because I'm pissed: Those of you out there who read this story and just assume that I have an issue with gay people and send me hate filled private messages seriously need to stop. Newsflash you morons, this is chapter 5…you've had the option to STOP READING by now! Your pessimistic attitudes have officially surpassed the point of pissing me off. I'm generally a glass-half-full type of girl but you people have just really got me in a mood. I don't know how to say this without making him sound like a trophy of sorts, but I have a gay friend. I am really close to him and love him to death. If I had an issue with gay people, I probably wouldn't be friends with them, now would I? Yes, this story is going to offend some people, I know that. Everything that everyone does is going to offend someone in someway. The way I brush my hair in the morning probably offends some culture somewhere so fuck off! Dear Lord, I've just dropped the f-bomb - 20 more people offended right there! Archie is going to ask Greg a 'serious' question. Take note of Greg's answer to it, that is my answer to that question. My point is, I know that I've offended some, but I've entertained others. Let us be and quit sending me your idiotic messages. That having been said, on with the story…
"So Grissom, about this date…"
'What the hell?! She wants to talk about that NOW?'
"You want to make the plans or do I need to? I don't know what you like to do, I know it will obviously be something that I will like because, well, we're so much alike…"
'Jesus she's talking a mile a minute!' he laughed on the inside. An intelligent man does not make fun of Sara Sidle.
"…but even though we're alike, I still have no idea what it is that you would want…"
"Sara," he tried stopping her.
"…to do on a date. Oh, my God, that sounds crazy weird doesn't it? A date? Me and you together? Holy shit! That is going to be messing with me all night tonight. Anyway, what do…"
"Sara?"
"…you want to do? I'm game for anything really, but you already knew that. Or you should already know that. I'll try anything twice. That was a joke…"
'I think steam is coming out of her ears!'
"…I know it wasn't really funny…"
"Sara!" he bellowed.
That shut her the hell up!
"What, Griss?"
"What the hell did you drink before you came back in here?"
"Uh, nothing why?"
"You're talking faster than Greg did that time Nick and Warrick gave him twenty dollars to drink that entire pot of day-old coffee."
"Oh, sorry…nerves," she shrugged.
"Well, the whole…date thing makes me nervous as hell too, but you really aren't helping me out!"
"Well, you're fifty years old, Grissom. You really shouldn't be so bad at this type of thing, you know!" she laughed.
"Well, thank you for your fantastic vote of confidence, Sara," he said dryly, remembering how he had said the exact same thing about himself.
"Anytime," she laughed.
"So on this date…" he prodded.
"Whatever you want to do. You plan it," she offered.
"Like dinner?"
"Or movies."
"Did you know that ninety percent of the movies released in the United States are porn films?"
'Awkward!' yelled the nervous Sara in her head. 'How would you like to co-star with me in one of our own?' asked the little, Grissom ravaging voice in her head "Uh, no…I, um…wasn't, wasn't really aware of that, no."
"Oh, well now you are." He smiled proudly at the fact that , once again, he had taught something to Sara…regardless of how stupid he later realized it was to have said. 'Porn? What the hell is the matter with you?! How 'Greg' of a thing was that to say?'
"Always learning new things around you." She smiled. 'Except for things that I need to know. Things like…if you're GAY!'
"Glad to teach you." He smiled back.
"So we're going to the movies?"
"I honestly don't know. Like you said, I'm kind of bad at this whole date thing."
"Well, you're not great at it, but don't feel bad because I suck."
At that he raised a curious eyebrow.
"Too! I suck too! At the dating thing I meant!" her face was bright red with embarrassment.
"Of course." He nervously cleared his throat, "Yeah."
"Well, I'm going to get back to work now." She smiled nervously. 'Before I embarrass myself even more and want to douse myself in gas and use matches reserved for Greg's ladies on myself.' She stood up and headed for the door, missing Grissom's eyes following a certain part of her anatomy on the way. "What time will you pick me up?"
"For what?" her ass had confused him.
"Um, our date."
"Oh, right! The…our date, right." He said, trying shaking the stupidity out of his head.
"Well? What time?" She laughed. Gay or not, this was funny.
"Um…is uh, seven alright with you? Tomorrow we both have the night off." He suggested.
"You'll have a plan by then?"
"For you, I'm sure I can whip something out- up by then." It was now his turn to go countless shades of red.
"Then seven sounds great." She smiled at his slip up and left his office…heading straight to the locker room to freak out in private.
--
"Ew!" Bobby exclaimed.
Greg had called a 'Sara wants the Mo' meeting in the break room. Seriously, that's what he called it.
'Sara Wants The Mo- Attendance in Break Room Mandatory' went out across the pagers of all involved in the matter. Everyone except Sara…even Greg wasn't that dumb.
"She does not!"
"No way in hell!"
"I swear!" Greg said, "She is still in love with the guy!"
"And he seriously said he was gay?" Nick asked.
"Like, honest to God, the man said he was gay, Greg?" Catherine asked.
"Yes!" Greg swore.
Warrick shook his head. "If he's gay, and she still wants him…that is some kind of freaky!"
"Ew!" Archie yelled.
"Hodges, you have no input on this?" Bobby asked, unsuccessfully hiding his smile.
"No, I have no input on this," Hodges snapped back, removing the wads of Kleenex from his nose.
Some form of "Oh, my God, man!" came from everyone in the room.
"What?" asked Hodges.
Greg replied, "It looks like she hit you upside the face with a brick!" and everyone burst out laughing…everyone but Hodges anyway.
"Whatever," and an eye roll was his reply.
"Seriously, Hodges, she beat your ass good!" Archie said and then fell out of his chair laughing.
"Hodges got beat up by a girl!" Nick slapped him on the back.
"I did not get beat up by a girl. I got beat up by Sara…huge difference," He corrected.
"True." Catherine laughed, "Calling Sara a girl is like calling-"
"Calling Grissom straight!" Nick began laughing loudly but stopped when he saw Sara standing in the doorway.
"Oh…hey, Sara…how…how long you been standing there?" Hodges asked very cautiously as his chair magically began rolling away from the doorway in which she stood.
"Since about the time Archie made his crash landing," Sara said calmly.
"Oh…so…you-" he began.
"Heard you?" she cut in with a smirk on her face that made him want to cry out for his mommy. "Yes, Hodges, I heard."
"Oh…"
"Don't worry, we can talk later though. Right now I need to talk to Catherine."
"Oh, well, Sara, we're on break. We were all…um busy discussing something."
"Yeah, Cath, I caught that."
"No, you heard the wrong part of the conversation, Sara. That was off topic."
"Yeah," she said in a doubting tone. "Well when you're done, come find me please? Seriously." She sounded a bit desperate at the end before she walked away.
"What the goat fuck was that all about?" Archie asked as he finally picked himself up off of the floor.
"What is it with people and goats?!" Catherine yelled.
"What? That's the first time any of us brought up any goats."
"First Brass, then Sara, and now you. I'm sick and tired of goats! I'll be having nightmares about goats for weeks!" she yelled again and headed off to find Sara.
"So…what was the deal with the goats?"
Bobby chimed in, "Some wacko going around killing goats. Archie must've went through fifty hours of tape watching nothing but goats being offed just trying to catch a glimpse of the guy."
"Oh."
"Crap, Grissom's coming!"
"What do we do!?"
"Act not gay!" Greg said, earning him confused looks from everyone.
"How the hell does one act 'not gay' Greg?"
"I don't know, just do it!"
"You have a problem with gay people, Greg?" Archie asked seriously.
"Hell, no. Having a problem with gay people is like having a problem with left handed people," Greg said.
More confused looks.
"Exactly my point. It's completely stupid and makes no sense. Be gay all you want. Just don't try and stick it up my-"
"Hey, everybody." Grissom cheerily cut him off, thankfully not having heard any of what they had been talking about.
"Hey, Boss," came from everyone.
"How are you all?" Grissom asked while pouring himself some coffee.
"Fine," Greg said. "You seem pretty chipper there, Grissom."
"Well, it's a lovely day, Greg." He smiled widely. In less than 24 hours he was going to be on a date with Sara. It was a lovely day, indeed.
"Almost too chipper there, Boss," Hodges said "Like almost to the point of scaring us. Why, may I ask?"
"Sorry," Grissom's smile grew wider still. "'It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an' wealth have both failed.'"
"Who said that?"
"Kin Hubbard did. Can't I just be happy?"
"Ah…'pretty and witty and gay' there Grissom?" Bobby asked with a certain emphasis on gay.
"Well, Bobby, I certainly don't know about 'pretty', but 'witty and gay'? Why not, like I said, it's a lovely day." And with that he left the room filled with shocked faces.
"Did he just admit to being gay again?"
"Well, it was a different type of gay…"
--
Catherine found Sara in the locker room looking like she was going to have a panic attack.
"Sara?"
"Oh, sweet Jesus! Thank God you're here!" she ran over and hugged her.
"Easy!"
"Sorry! I don't know why I just hugged you."
"Yeah, let's never do that again."
"Deal," Sara said.
"Great. Why did you need me?"
"Oh, that." Sara sighed.
"Yeah, that. You sounded kind of desperate."
"I am! He agreed."
"Who did what now?"
"Grissom agreed to go on a date with me, Catherine. He's taking me on a date." She smiled dreamily.
"I do believe we've discussed the whole drooling issue before," Catherine said while handing Sara a napkin.
"Oh, right, sorry."
"So…what's the problem?"
"Um, do you want the whole rundown or just bits and pieces?"
"Give me the whole thing, Sara. What's wrong?" Catherine asked.
"Life in general," she laughed "I don't know what to do for my make-up or about my hair or my clothes. Well, I had an idea for an outfit, but I don't know!"
"You sound like a twelve-year-old on her first date," Catherine laughed.
"Gee thanks." She sighed loudly, "So are you going to help me or not, because I'm not begging you!"
"Dress up?!" Catherine's face lit up. "With you? Make Sara Sidle girly?! I am SO in!"
"Really?"
"Hell yes! What was your idea for an outfit?"
"Oh, well I have this really cute angora sweater…"
"Sara, I swear if you or anyone else brings up goats one more time they are getting punched in the throat."
"Um…okay. Look, it's the end of shift. Lets go to my place on you can rummage through my stuff to see if I have anything worthy."
"Doubtful, very doubtful."
"Just humor me," Sara said as they made their way past Grissom's office she giggled like a school girl when he waved at her.
"Sara, the man is gay!" Catherine chided.
"When the hell did you hop on the bandwagon?"
"When Grissom told you he was gay."
That stopped Sara dead in her tracks. "What?!"
"When Grissom told you he was gay." Catherine spoke slowly and with emphasis this time.
"What are you talking about, Catherine?"
"Greg told us…" Catherine got why Sara as confused when she said the name 'Greg'. Of course! God, why did any of them ever listen to him? "You never asked him did you?!"
"No. Courage flew out the window. I was going to ask after the date tomorrow. Honest!"
"Sara!"
"Oh, come on!"
"Everyone thinks he's gay!"
"Everyone thought he was gay before!" Sara countered.
"But now everyone thinks he admitted to being gay!"
" 'Time heals all wounds' "
"Yeah, like that works here."
"I tried," Sara shrugged
"What a wonderful hole you've dug for yourself."
"I know. Cath, can we just go now please?"
"Fine."
They began their trek towards the front again when Sara noticed that all of the boys, including Hodges, were still in the break room. An evil light bulb went off in her head. She stuck her head inside. "Hey, Hodges?"
He must've jumped ten feet at the sound of her voice. "Uh…um, it…uh, yeah Sara?"
"Two animals I'm thinking of say 'bah'. They are?"
"Um…sheep and goats?"
Sara turned to Catherine and pointed to Hodges as if he was hers for the taking. Catherine shook her head and walked away.
"What? Hey, you said anyone that talked about goats!" Sara yelled after her.
I apologize for this chapter. Not my best…apparently there is a point where the deprivation stops helping the comedy and actually hinders it, and the mood I was in did not help any, I'm sure. Consider this a filler chapter of sorts…I didn't want to hop right to the date. It's next though, so don't worry. The first half is already written and I am liking it.
Cheer me up and review!
thegreatbluespoon- is in a better mood because…snow, snow, snow…I've got snow! –dances around like a fool and lands on her ass because, hey, there's ice under that snow-