Chapter Four

Buffy exited Brian's building and stood on the street corner, trying to hail a cab. When one pulled up, she got in and told the cab driver, "Central Park, please."

The driver nodded his head and merged into traffic, on his way to take Buffy to her favorite place to be alone.

The ride had never so long as it had just now.

Whenever Buffy needed time to her self and clear her thoughts, she would go to Central Park and walk through the green gardens, and tall trees.

It was one of the few Places, where she didn't feel trapped.

Pulling up beside the curb, Buffy paid the driver, and got out of the cab.

The cab drove away leaving Buffy alone, as a cold wind began to blow.

Pulling her coat tighter across her, Buffy began to walk down the path.

Even in the cold of Winter, the park seemed like a magical place.

Snow blanketed the trees and the cloud covered sunlight still managed to illuminate the ground in a soft light. It almost made Buffy feel that she was in a dream.

As she continued to walk down the path, Buffy started to review the last few years of her life.

She was now 26, and had been married to Brian for five years. She smiled as she remembered meeting him while he was on vacation in Rome.

He was young, handsome, and was a definite change from her last relationship.

The only reason she had dated the Immortal, was because he had managed to convince her that Angel had finally been able to move on. That he no longer care about her, and as proof, used his powers to show her images of Angel and a beautiful young blond in bed.

Heartbroken, and obviously under some really good spell, Buffy allowed herself to be wooed by the attractive looking magician.

But when she met Brian at a café, he had somehow managed to break the Immortal's hold on her. And ever since, Buffy could not remember what he looked like. Only that he had been an amazing lover.

Brian swept Buffy off her feet, by showering her with flowers and cards, and tales of his world travels as an architect. For awhile, Buffy had forgotten about Angel and the past they had once shared.

Buffy retired from official Slaying, but she still patrolled around the immediate area of wherever she lived.

And with Willow and Andrew still acting within the new Council, Buffy would contact them when she got word of anything new brewing.

But after Brian had proposed to her on a surprise Valentine's Day trip to Paris, under the Eiffel Tower, Buffy decided it was finally time Buffy got her normal life.

And it was a beautiful, normal life, as Buffy became Mrs. Brian Kelly, and became a housewife, aside from the occasional slaying.

Until this Christmas. Angel appeared like the Ghost of Christmas Past, and made Buffy feel like the scared girl she had been when Merrick had called years ago. And Angel had been there, Buffy though as she sat down on a park bench. Angel had always been there, watching me, protecting me, making sure I would be okay. And then, in a cloud of smoke and flashing lights, he walked out of her life, making her feel completely and utterly alone.

Buffy rested her head in her hands as she tried to a hold of herself. Wiping her hands down her face, Buffy stared at the people on the lawn.

Some walking pets, others holding hands with their loved ones, it all looked so pretty.

And Buffy was feeling like the goldfish in a glass bowl. Able to see, but not touch.

Frustrated, Buffy stood from the bench, and began to walk in the direction of home.

She didn't get very far however, when a tall figure caught her eye.

Staring intently, she passed by. She thought it looked like Angel, wearing his trademark black duster, as he walked in the opposite direction.

Just keep walking, Buffy, she told herself as the Angel look-alike walked out of her sight.

Don't even think about chasing after him, we don't need another public display of your insanity.

Buffy increased her stride, and stared ahead, focusing on the path towards home.

Walking through the wooded area that would take her home, Buffy suddenly felt like she was being watched.

She looked behind her but saw no one there. Looking forward, Buffy continued to walk, acting as if nothing were wrong.

She trained her ears to listen behind her, and recognized footsteps were compacting the snow, and judged that whoever was following her, was no more than five or six feet behind her.

She felt her body tense up, awaiting her signal to strike. Slowly, and carefully, Buffy slid her hand into her coat pocket, and took hold of the stake she kept there for emergencies.

She slowed her pace and allowed the possible assailant to come closer.

When he was within reach, Buffy suddenly spun her leg around, and kicked her attacked in the chest.

The man stumbled a few feet, but did not fall. Buffy immediately followed with a punch to the face. The man spun to his side and Buffy grabbed him by his coat, and threw him against a tree.

Using her right arm, Buffy pinned the man to the tree trunk by his throat, and held her stake out with her left, preparing to stake him.

It was then that Buffy saw a good look at the man's face.

"Angel?" she whispered, as the man shook off the pain.

"Nice to see to you still have your Slayer skills," replied Angel's velvet voice.

Buffy just stood there, staring at him, too scared to think.

"Uh, Buffy," Angel said looking at her arm, "You want to let me go? I'm losing oxygen."
That, brought Buffy back to her senses, and she blinked her eyes as she released her grip.

"I-I'm sorry," Buffy mumbled as she took a stepped away from Angel.

"Don't be," Angel assured her, "I forgot you were always good at surprise attacks."

Buffy looked up at Angel as he smiled his half-smile, which made Buffy quickly look back down again.

Feeling concerned, Angel looked at Buffy and said, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Buffy could feel the tears beginning to form all over again.

Just walk away, Buffy. Be strong, Buffy thought. But she didn't.

"It's nothing," Buffy said as she wiped her face. "I'm just having a bad day."

Angel took a step forward, but Buffy took a step back.

"No," she said she pulled her arms around her.

"What do you mean "No"?" Angel asked confused.

"You don't get to do that anymore," Buffy said, a hint of anger seeping through. "You don't just get to show up on my doorstep, all human like and stuff, and expect me to pick up where we left off!"
With each word, Buffy's anger became more and more visible, until she finally let go.

"You left me! I was left alone, when I need you most in this world, you up and left! And then, you pop back up on Christmas Eve of all days and say 'Hi, wanna catch up'? Do you even remember how traumatic that particular Christmas was for me? I mean you were about to go and pull a Peter Pan over Sunnydale! I was about to lose the one thing that I would give my life for and, come to think of it, I did! But I convinced you not to, and then you decided it would be better if you left?
"Where's the sanity in that? You have always managed to hurt me in the cruelest of ways. Angelus never hurt me the way that you always did, Angel!"

As Buffy began to unload on Angel, she began to poke him in the chest as she emphasized her words. And when she began to speak of Angelus, Angel's eyes went from dark brown, to almost black. He could tell, that Buffy meant what she said.

And in a way, she was right. He had left her, several times in fact, and Angel was beginning to hate himself for it.

"You said you were doing what was best for me, well guess what Angel," Buffy said as she stopped in her tracks. "You failed! Miserably! I needed you to help me! I was never the same after you left. Something in me died long before I actually died! And you can't fix that!"

Finally, it looked as though Buffy had finished her venting, and Angel took it as his chance to explain.

"Look, I know that I can never take back those things that I did or said. And I didn't mean to come and screw up your life all over again."
Angel looked at Buffy who had her arms folded like a child who was being scolded.

"I don't even know why I am still here! All I know is I had a dream telling me all was forgiven and I wake up to see the sun coming through my window, and me not on fire!"

Buffy's face began to soften as she said calmly, "So no flashes of light, or magical fairies?"

Angel smiled again and this time Buffy didn't look away. "No. No magical fairies."
"Huh," Buffy mused as she unfolded her arms.

"Buffy, I know that you have made a life for yourself now," Angel said as he held her shoulders. "And I don't want to be in the way of it-"

"But that's just it, Angel," Buffy interrupted. "You are!"

Angel looked at Buffy with a hurt look in his eye.

"I was happy, and I never thought about you anymore," the instant Buffy had said that, she instantly regretted it. Although he had tried to hide it, Buffy's words had crushed him, and Buffy saw it.

"Oh, god, Angel, I'm sorry." She apologized placing a hand on his shoulder. "I just- It's just that- When you left, I had to find a way to move on. And I found that with Brian, or I thought I did."

"You thought you did?" Angel was puzzled by the question.

Buffy brushed the air and turned away.

"Yeah, I thought I loved him, that I wanted to have a family with him, but now, I just don't know if that's possible anymore."
"Is it because of me?" Angel asked as he stepped closer to Buffy.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know."

"Then why are saying all these things now, when you told how happy he made you on Christmas?"
"Because I didn't want you to feel like I wasn't happy." Buffy said as she stared at the path that takes her home. "Guess I failed, huh?"
"No, you didn't fail, Buffy," Angel said as Buffy looked into Angel's dark brown eyes.

Even now, Angel had always been able to break down any walls that Buffy had put up to protect herself. "Then why do I feel like it?" She asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I don't know, "Angel answered honestly. " But sometimes what we think is right, turns out to be wrong."
Angel tilted Buffy's face up as he spoke, saying it more as an apology for his actions than for Buffy's.

How can he still make feel loved, even after all this time? Buffy thought as Angel wiped the tears from her face. The chemistry was still there, and the charge that surged through her at his touch, proved it. The urge to kiss him was strong, but that wasn't what she needed.

Sensing what it was Buffy needed, Angel pulled her close to his chest, and embraced her.

Feeling his strong arms around her again, made Buffy feel like nothing could touch her. She felt so safe and warm, warmer than she had ever felt with Brian, and it was then, that Buffy wrapped arms around Angel's waist tightly, and let all the pain of the last few years, come rushing out through her sobs.

Angel did nothing, except continue to hold Buffy as she cried on his shoulder.

He could feel her body convulse as she cried and sobbed.

After a few minutes, Buffy pulled back and asked Angel, "So, where are you staying?"
Angel smiled, knowing she was trying to change the subject, and played along.

"I got a room at The Plaza", he said, as Buffy straightened her clothes.

"You mean you don't have permanent place to stay?"
"No, not yet, I was planning on looking tomorrow."

As good as it felt crying on Angel's shoulder, her attraction towards was still too dangerous, especially since she was still married. But she as also never one to bail on a friend, so she asked him, "You want some help looking for a place?"

Angel looked curiously at Buffy. "What?"
"This is New York, and I have been living here longer, so I know what are the good places and which ones you need to stay away from."

Angel was a little unsure about letting Buffy get close to him. Not that there was anything to worry about, now, but he had to respect the fact that Buffy was a married woman now, that she had committed herself, no matter how unsure she was.

But as clouds parted above them, allowing a small amount of sunlight to shine, Buffy eyes reflected a hopeful emerald, green and Angel could not resist.

"Ok, Buffy," he said with a small chuckle. "That sounds like a plan."

"Good," Buffy said, suddenly feeling sixteen again.

Looking down at her watch, Buffy saw the time and said, "Oh my gosh, it's getting late! I need to get home before Brian does!"

Buffy started to run off before stopping and yelling to Angel, "Meet me here tomorrow, around two!"

And then in a flash she was gone, leaving a smiling Angel standing alone in the sunshine.

End Chapter Four

Didja Like? FINALLY more B/A action! LOL
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