One quick note: For those who may not have seen the "Angel" episode "I Will Remember You", this chapter contains MASSIVE spoilers as to what happens!! Now with that out of the way, ENJOY! And don't forget to R&R!!!!

Chapter Twelve

Buffy pulled her coat closer around her, as she walked across the street, and entered the brick office building where Angel worked.

The building was old enough that the antique, iron elevator no longer operated. So Buffy walked the three flights, up to Angel's office.

She walked down the narrow hall, until she came across a glass door that said, "Angel Private Investigations", in gothic lettering. Buffy smiled, as she opened the door and walked inside.

The inside reflected Angel's old world tastes, as the chairs and table appeared to be Mission style. The pictures that hung on the walls, depicted beautiful scenes of fields in the spring or summer. One particular painting that caught Buffy's eye, showed ocean waves breaking onto a sandy beach, as a couple walked towards a hilltop home. The way the sun peered through the clouds and shone directly on the loving couple, reminded Buffy of a long ago dream she had had about her and Angel before her last year of High School.

"Like it?"
Buffy jumped, as she spun around to face Angel. He was leaning against the door frame, smiling, as he wiped his hands on a towel.

"It's beautiful," Buffy replied as Angel walked over and took her coat. "Where did you find it?"
"I made it," Angel said hanging the coat on the coat rack.

"Wow," Buffy whispered, "You're amazing."
"I had a great model," Angel hinted, as he led Buffy into his main office.

Walking in, Buffy saw that Angel's desk was probably as old as he is, or was. It was a beautiful, striped wood, that Buffy had heard called "tiger maple", once upon a time. A Tiffany glass lamp sat on one corner, illuminating the desk's surface. The chair that sat behind the desk, and the one in front, both had leather backs, with round brass tacks accenting the deep green.

Angel closed the door, and walked over to where he sat, and motioned for Buffy to sit across from him.

"So what is this bad news, you called me about?"
Buffy could feel her newfound composure running away, as she remembered why had come in first place.

"It's about Brian," she said as she tried to keep her calm. "Dr. Preston said that Brian has lung cancer, and that he may not make it to the end of the year."
Slowly, Buffy's strength failed her, and she turned into a mess of tears, as she finished her sentence. Angel stood, and grabbing a Kleenex, walked over to Buffy and handed it to her as he sat on the edge of his desk.

"God, Buffy, I'm- I don't know what to say."
"It's just," Buffy blew he nose, " Brian and I were so happy there for a while, and now, it's all falling apart."
"What do you mean?"
"First, he gets the contract to rebuild Sunnydale, and then he starts diving into that, and now you show up and stir up old feelings I though I had left behind me. I'm just wondering when that damn Hellmouth is going to leave me alone!"

Angel took a breath as he tried to find a way to comfort Buffy. Sunnydale was one hell of a roller coaster ride, even to those who may have been passing through, like Angel.

Before he knew what was going on, he had fallen for Buffy, well, actually that happened before Sunnydale, but the point was, that he had loved her, unleashed Angelus, damn near started the apocalypse and then was sent to hell, only to return and try to commit suicide, and be convinced by a power hungry, demonic Mayor, that he wasn't good enough for Buffy.

And all within a few year's time. It was enough to make anyone's head spin.

He could imagine what it had done to Buffy.

After all, she had died, been brought back, been tormented by The Master's death, have her boyfriend lose his soul and try to kill her for six months, kill said boyfriend to save humanity, and when he comes back, have him leave again, because he can't be around her anymore.

Then she dates some Clark Kent wannabe, who ends up a becoming addicted to vampires. Then, stir in a sister who is an energy source, fighting a Hellgod, dying (again),come back (again), and then sleep with some bleached blond, much to boyfriend number one's great dislike. And finally mix, with your bestest best friend's "mourning", is a mild way of putting it, and then instead of blowing up a school gym, try the whole town, for added flavor.

Can you say, Dr Phil?

Angel rubbed his face as Buffy continued to cry. "Look," he said kneeling in front of Buffy, "I don't what's going on, and I don't think that Sunnydale has anything to do with this." Angel lifted Buffy's head so he could see her face more clearly.

"Then what is it," she asked in between sobs.

"Maybe it's a test."
"A test? The last time I took a test like this, I was drugged by the one person I thought could never do anything to hurt me. I lost my slayer powers and just about died!"

Buffy stood and turned away from Angel. Angel hung his head.

"Okay, maybe I used the wrong words."
"You think?" Buffy said, her fear turning to anger.

"I'm just saying that maybe it's the Powers That Be's way of giving you one final challenge?"

"Well, its pretty low." Buffy folded her arms.

"It's the Powers," Angel said as he walked over to Buffy. "I mean, look at me. When have they ever been fair to me?"
"They gave you your humanity."
"Yeah, but they also took it back."
"Huh?" Buffy said confused. "I know I'm blond, but you're not making sense, Angel."

"Nothing, never mind," Angel said as he realized what he had almost done.

"No, not never mind. Mind." Buffy watched as Angel sat down in his chair and folded his hands in front of his face.

"Angel," Buffy leaned on the edge of the desk as Angel looked up at her. "Why did you say that the Powers took your humanity? You're sitting in here, with the sunlight shining on you, which by the way, makes you're brooding look really bizarre."
"Look, it happened years ago, and I would really rather not bring back up again, okay?"
"Too late, Angel. You brought it up yourself, now spill."

Angel dropped his hands and looked at Buffy. "I said I didn't want to talk about it, now the subject is dropped."
Buffy knew Angel was trying to keep her from probing, and if this were happening a few years earlier, his scare tactic might have worked, but not now.

"No, it is not dropped," She said as she leaned closer to look into Angel's eyes. "I want to know when you where human once before!"
"Damn it, Buffy!" Angel slammed his hands on the desk and stood up. "I said drop it!"
Buffy didn't let his outburst stop her, "No you're going to tell me!"
"Buffy," Angel pleaded.

"Tell me what happened."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because if I do, then you will never come back here again."
"I don't understand."
"And it's better that way." Angel shoved his hands in the pockets of his brown slacks.
"If you don't tell me, I am out that door and I won't come back."
Angel tilted his head towards Buffy. "It's none of your business."

"Like hell it is! You were human for one day and I wasn't even there? I say that is my business!"

"What I did in L.A., I want to stay in L.A."
"Well, news flash Angel, this isn't Nevada. It's New York, and you are going to tell me what happened while I was in college."
Angel shook his head and sighed as he walked back over to his chair and grabbed his keys.

"Where are you going," Buffy asked as he walked out the office.

"Out," he said as he grabbed his coat and began to put it on.

"No," Buffy said as she ran to stand in front of him.

"Buffy, move." She stood still. Angel made an attempt to move Buffy, but she resisted, and as Angel grabbed for her arm, Buffy turned herself, flipping Angel to the ground.
"What is wrong with you?" Angel said as Buffy placed a boot on his chest.
"What's wrong with you Angel?" she said as she remained in a fighting stance. "I asked you a simple question, and now you're acting like if you say anything, it will cause the world to end!"
Angel dropped his head to the floor. "I guess you won't let me up until I tell you, huh?"
"That's the general idea, yeah," Buffy said nodding.

Resolved, Angel shook his head, telling Buffy that he would talk, and she helped him up.

"Thanks," Angel said dusting his coat.

"No problem," Buffy said as Angel began to open the door. "Wait a minute! You promised!"
"I'm sorry Buffy, I just can't."
"Why? Did you find perfect happiness with someone else and almost end the world again?"
Buffy's eyes flashed red, as Angel walked up and told her, "For your information, no!"
"Then what hell is so sacred about it?"
"Because I am the only one who is supposed to know!" Angel yelled at Buffy.

Now Buffy was taken back. Why was he the only one allowed to know?

"Know what?" Buffy asked softly and hoped she did not have to repeat the previous argument.

"Thanksgiving," was all Angel said, as he face became longer, and eyes sadder.

"Okay," Buffy said as her head began replaying all the Thanksgivings she and Angel shared together. But the only thing she could think of, was that one in college, just after she met Riley.

"You mean the one where you showed up and neglected to tell me, so Xander had to?"
Angel nodded. "Yeah that's the one."
"The one where I showed up at your office and you killed that Moha thing like you had done it all your life, brushing it off as quick learning?"
"Morah," Angel said as he began to fidget.

"So my assumption about that scene was right? There was more too it than what I saw?"
Again, Angel nodded in response. "Their blood has the power to regenerate, and when I, or we, fought it the first time, it's blood mixed with mine and I became human."

Buffy stood in silence, absorbing what Angel was telling her.

"So," Buffy said as she began to put the pieces together, "You fought a Demon, became human, and I never knew about it?"
"Actually," Angel said as he stared at his shoes and then Buffy, "You did know."
Buffy scrunched her eyebrows. "But if I knew then, why don't I know now?"
"Because I asked the Powers to take it back."
"You asked the Powers to take back your Humanity?" Angel remained silent. "What are you, insane?"
"Buffy, if I hadn't then, you would have died."
"SO!" Buffy said as she felt panic rising in her chest. "At least we would have been together!"
"Buffy, that whole day I was human, I was useless to you," Angel said as he tried to explain. "I had no strength, no powers at all."
"So you gave up humanity so you could be some kind of Superhero?"

Angel flinched. Ouch, heard those words before.

"You would have worried so much about me when the big battle came," Angel said as he reached for Buffy, "that you would have died trying to protect me."

Buffy pulled away. "So you what, had some macho issues, because a girl would have to save your ass?"
Angel shook his head. "That's not it. The Morah made me human, and that meant no powers. But for some reason, when the Powers finally made me human, I kept all the aspects of the Vampire. Except, of course, the obvious."

"The bad fashion sense, and lack of a heartbeat?"
Angel smirked at Buffy's comment. "The needing Blood to live and aversion to sunlight, were mine."

"Oh, yeah. Well, those count too."

"Look, if it is any consolation, I have hated myself ever since."

"I don't want to you to hate yourself Angel," Buffy said, as she walked towards him. "I just wish you had told me."
But you said you would never forget, was what Angel had wanted to say, but stopped himself. Instead he said, "I thought you were happier, not knowing."

"Well, I can't say for sure if that is true anymore, but we will never know will we?"

"I guess not."
"Tell me Angel, what was that day like?" Buffy searched Angel's face for evidence of what Buffy was sure would have been the most beautiful day of her life.

"I don't know if I should, Buffy."
"Angel," Buffy held Angel's face in her hands. "I'm not mad at you anymore, you can tell me."
Angel closed his eyes before looking at Buffy's again. "It was more beautiful than anything we could have ever dreamed of."
Buffy smiled and softly kissed him. "I'm glad."

Buffy grabbed her coat and prepared to leave Angel's office.

"Where are you going?" Angel asked as Buffy put on her coat.

"Home," she said tying her belt. "I need to get back before the others worry that I jumped off a bridge somewhere."
"You want me to drive you home?"
Buffy smiled sweetly as she looked at Angel. "Thanks, Angel. But, I am a big girl now."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," she said as she walked over and kissed Angel good bye on the cheek. "See you later."
"Let me know what happens with Brian?"
"Always," She replied as she walked out of the door. Angel smiled sweetly to himself as he hung his coat back up and returned to his office.

Buffy walked out of the office building and braced herself against one of the brick pillars that stood out front.

Oh my god, she thought as she tried to control her breathing. It was real. It actually happened. Buffy closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, as she remembered the dream she had had about Angel, the day after she had seen him. It had been the most beautiful, real, fantastic day that she could have ever dreamed. And it had felt so real.

A smile slowly formed on her face as she walked down the front steps and hailed a cab for home.

Telling the cabbie where to go, Buffy leaned back in the seat and smiled.

I told him I would never forget.

End Chapter Twelve

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