Disclaimer: This is the part where we mindlessly drone on and on about how Marvel owns X-Men and William Goldman and the family of S. Morgenstern own The Princess Bride…yada yada yada…
Authoresses' Notes:
Rogue238:I'm having a baby! My third child is expected on May 11, 2006. lol.
CF:! I'm back! ((dances)) And naturally, watch the insane one get stuck with the longest chapter right when she should be doing schoolwork and who knows what else. Not that you're not insane, TM, you're just…LESS insane. But anyway, why are you still reading this? Go! Read!
Chapter 3- Trial of Three
"LOGAN!" Raven yells angrily as the rest of the cast hurries around to set up the stage.
"What?" He asks, jumping and hiding the remote for the electric shock device in his costume behind his back.
"You know what," she snaps. She holds her hand out and the device flies to her hand. "Next time, Logan, I'll just use Mystique and send you somewhere very, very painful."
"The Realm of Rabid Fangirls works," CF calls, sipping her Pepsi. Logan pales drastically and hurries towards the stage, muttering furiously.
Up on the stage, a hologram projector of Forge's causes it to look like the Cliffs of Insanity are a lot higher and a lot more foreboding than they really are. Pyro, Rogue (her dress miraculously dry, much to Gambit's disappointment), Piotr, and Logan take their places as Lightning removes the All Important POBP.
"And… 3, 2, 1, ACTION!"
The cast ignores Scott's whimpers as the scene begins. The other, faster boat is chasing the boat that Rogue is on.
"It's a ship," Logan growls.
"Our copy of the script says boat!" TM calls.
"Now shut up," Raven adds.
"Hurry UP, mates! Move that…thing, no, the othah thing!"
"Wow, you're lots of help," Rogue mutters sarcastically, "but then again, Forge made this thing…"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Forge yells from the tech area.
"It means be quiet before Raven gets annoyed and gets revenge on you all!"
"Really?"
"…No. Just be quiet!" Lightning pleads, seeing the look on Raven's face. Grudgingly, Forge shuts up. Pyro continues.
"We're safe! Only Piotr is strong enough to scale the cliffs! He'll have ta sail around fer HOURS til he finds a harbor." Piotr reaches up behind a rock and pulls out a rope. When he lets go, the camera shows that a, the rope reaches to the top, and b, the cliffs look…really, REALLY high.
Wolverine puts Pyro and Rogue in this weird…harness…thing, straps himself in, and Piotr begins climbing the rope. Pyro looks down and whimpers.
"It's so HIGH! Oy don't want ta die!"
"Idiot!" Wanda snaps. "You don't die on the cliffs!"
"Oy don't?"
"…You die much more strangely." Pyro groans.
"But Oy don't—"
"SHUT UP!" Raven and Lightning yell. Scott twitches and puts his head in his hand.
The Man In Black climbs out of his ship and starts climbing up the rope.
"Good thing that rope is made out of indestructible metal fibers," Forge remarks. "Otherwise, I don't even wanna THINK about it."
The Man In Black is moving fast, a lot faster than Piotr. He's practically flying up the rope. Of course, that could be due to the fact that he's lighter, more agile…and that he's got a wire attached to him that's pulling him up.
"He's climbin' the rope," Logan says. "And he's gettin' closer."
"Inconceivable!" Pyro yells.
Lightning manipulates the camera so that it shows the Man In Black, climbing really, really quickly. And gaining fast.
"FASTER, mate!" Pyro yells.
"I thought I vas going faster."
"Ya were supposed ta be this Colossus. Ya were this great, legendary strong guy. And yet he gains!
"Vell, I'm carrying three people, and vun of zhem has metal bones."
"Stick to the script!" CF and TM call. Scott runs away to his happy place.
"Oy do not accept excuses! Oy'll just have ta foynd meself a new giant."
"Don't say zhat, Johnny, please," Piotr says, and then mutters, "I know vhere you keep your extra lighters."
Pyro shuts up and CF glares.
"Calm down," TM says boredly. "It's not like he knows where you keep your lighters."
"Did Oy make it clear that ya JOB is at stake, mate?" Pyro says, watching the Man In Black climbing up even faster. Finally, the three of them reach the cliff top and get out of the weird…harness…thing.
Raven inserts the POBP as the scene changes. The platform the four of them are on sinks down into the floor, only showing the part of the cliffs that the Man In Black is climbing. Lightning removes the POBP.
Pyro takes out a knife and begins to cut the rope.
"I thought we took away all his sharp items," Magneto mutters. "Guess not."
Finally, Pyro, realizing that the rope is made of metal fibers, takes out a lighter and melts through it in a few seconds. The metal rope falls down to the ground and a loud 'clang' is heard. The four directors wince.
"We'll edit that out," TM says quickly, seeing Raven's annoyed glance at Forge. Up on stage, the camera hanging from the ceiling shows the Man In Black hanging on to the cliffs.
"He has very good arms," Piotr says, pretending to be impressed. Pyro looks over the edge.
"He didn't fall? INCONCEIVABLE!"
"Ya keep sayin' that word…I don't think it means what you think it means," Logan says.
"…Oy dunno wot it means." Everyone rolls their eyes. "Whoa! He's climbing!"
The Man In Black is 'climbing' slowly up the cliff face. In actuality, pretending to have a hard time climbing while supported by a wire.
"Whoever the bloke is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess an' must die. Carry the sheila, mate." He hands Rogue over to Piotr. "We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, foyne. If not, the sword!"
"I want ta duel him left-handed," Logan mutters.
"Ya KNOW wot a hurry we're in!"
"It's the only way I'll be satisfied, not like anyone cares," Wolverine says. "If I use my right, it's over too quickly." He is severely cursing electric shock collars right about now.
"Oh, 'ave it yer way, mate." John and Piotr, dragging Rogue along, start off-screen.
"Be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted," Piotr mutters.
"Oy'm waiting!" Piotr hurries after Pyro.
Logan watches them for a moment and then looks down at the Man in Black. The Man has not gotten very much higher. Logan hates waiting. He starts to pace. He extends his claws and retracts them.
The Man in Black is still climbing, but very slowly.
Logan is watching him and getting impatient. He walks away then turns around and walks back, "Hello, bub."
The Man in Black answers him with only a grunt.
"Slow going?" Logan asks.
The MIB looks up at him as if he's stupid and says, "Look, I don' mean t' be rude, but dis is not as easy as it looks. So, I'd appreciate it if y' wouldn't distract me."
Growling, Logan glances at Raven and decides to say the line, "Sorry."
"T'ank you."
Logan walks away, draws his sword and moves it as if he knows what he's doing. He goes to look down the cliff again, "I don't suppose ya could speed things up, huh?"
The MIB looks up at him and says rather sarcastically, "If y're in such a hurry, y' could lower a rope or a tree branch or find somet'in' useful to do."
Grinning, Logan responds, "I could do that. In fact, I've got some rope up here, bub. But I don't think you'll accept my help, since I'm only waiting around to kill ya."
"Dat does put a damper on our relationship." The MIB says, finding another hole to stick his hand in.
"But I promise I won't kill ya 'til ya reach the top."
"Dat's very comforting, but I'm afraid y'll just have to wait."
"I hate waiting," Logan growls. "I could give ya my word as a Canadian."
"No good, I've known too many Canadians." The MIB says, resting.
"Ya don't know any way you'll trust me, bub?" Logan says, extending his claws.
"Well, dat certainly doesn't help." The MIB says.
Logan retracts them and glances nervously at Raven whose hands are just above the button on the remote. "Sorry," he mouths.
"Nothing come to mind," the MIB says.
Logan raises his right hand high in the air, "I swear on the soul of my father, John Howlett, you will reach the top alive."
The MIB considers this for a moment before saying, "T'row me de rope."
Logan quickly lets off a length of the rope and throws it down the cliff. The rope lands next to the MIB who grabs it and looks at Logan, who starts pulling him up, pretending to strain, because the wire is really making the job a lot easier.
After the Man In Black climbs up onto the ledge of the cliff, breathlessly, he pulls his sword, "T'ank you."
"We'll wait until you're ready, bub."
"Again, t'ank you." He sits on a rock and pulls off his boots, several rather large rocks fall out. He's wearing black gloves.
Logan is staring at the gloves. "I don't mean to pry, but ya don't happen to have two fingers on each hand, do ya?"
"Huh?" The MIB says, "Do y' always begin conversations dis way, homme?"
"My father was slaughtered by a two-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the two-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done." Logan starts his tale of woe and pulls out a cardboard sword, all spray painted silver and gold. He hands it to the MIB.
The MIB turns the sword over, obviously impressed. "I've never seen it's equal."
"The two-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the two-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so, naturally, challenged his murderer to a duel ... I failed ... the two-fingered man did leave me alive with the two-fingered sword, but he gave me these." He runs his hands along two fake scars on his face.
The Man in Black looks sadly at him, "How old were y'?"
"I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I won't fail. I'll go up to the two-fingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Logan Howlett. You killed my father. Prepare to die, bub."
"Y've done not'ing but study sword play?" The MIB asks, handing the sword back to Logan.
"More pursuit than study lately. Ya see, I can't find him. It's been twenty years now. I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work fer Vizzini ta pay the bills. There ain't a lot of money in revenge." Logan says, as if revenge were a legitimate profession.
The MIB stands with a, "I certainly hope y' find him one day."
"Yer ready then?" Logan asks.
"Whether I am or not, y've been more den fair."
"Ya seem a decent fellow, I hate ta kill ya," Logan says, adding under his breath, "Not really, but I have ta stick ta the script."
The MIB unsheathes his cardboard sword, "Y' seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."
"Begin!" Logan howls, heading towards him with the infamous two-fingered sword.
They begin to fight, both of them wielding their swords in their left hands, all of it clearly choreographed by yellow and orange feet stickers on the ground, to make them look like masters of the sword.
The sound of metal clashing against metal is made by Magneto clanging two rods against each other.
The fight goes all over the set.
"Yer using Bonetti's defense against me, eh?" Logan asks eagerly.
"I t'ought it fitting, considerin' de rocky terrain."
"Naturally ya must expect me ta attack with Capo Ferro," Logan says, "Where do they come up with these?"
"Does it matter?" CF says, glaring.
"Uh, no."
"Then, STICK TO THE SCRIPT!" CF and TM shout. Scott faints.
"Naturally," The MIB says, "But I find dat Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don' y'?" He jumps down from the castle ruin he was on into the sand.
"Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa." Logan then leaps into the air, does a somersault over the Man in Black and lands facing him. "Which I have."
They go on fighting over the rocky terrain, never missing a foot sticker and looking like absolute masters of the art. The MIB has the advantage and edges Logan closer and closer to the cliff.
"Yer wonderful," Logan spits out.
"T'ank y', I've worked hard to become so."
Logan is very near the edge of the cliff now, moments away from certain death, well, if he wasn't Logan, but that's beside the point. "I admit it," Logan says, and almost chokes on the next line, "Yer better than I am."
The MIB laughs and says, "Den why're y' smiling?"
Logan, with a huge grin, tells him, "Because I know something ya don't know, bub."
"And what is dat?" asks the Man in Black.
"I'm not left-handed," Logan says with an even bigger grin. He throws the sword into his right hand and missing the hilt, catches the blade instead. "Ow," he complains as he watches the scar heal.
Raven and CF both groan.
"Don't worry, we'll edit it out." TM says.
The two men start to battle again and this time, Logan is the better swordsman. They are each hitting the foot stickers perfectly. The Man in Black seems to be desperately fighting for his life and slowly is backed up the ruins of a staircase to the edge of the cliff.
"Y' are amazing," The MIB says.
"I ought ta be after twenty years!" Logan exclaims.
The MIB is pinned now, between the cliffs edge and the two-fingered sword. "Dere's somet'ing I ought to tell y'," he says.
"Tell me," Logan growls.
"I am not left-handed either," and with that he switches hands and Logan is forced down the steps.
The two-fingered sword is knocked out of his hands to the level below him. Logan jumps to the level below and grabs his sword.
Not to be outdone, the MIB throws his sword into the ground and jumps onto a bar. He twirls around it and then, after doing a perfect backflip, lands, extremely gracefully beside his sword. He picks it up and the battle continues.
Logan stares at him in awe, "Who are ya?"
"No one of consequence," answers the MIB.
"I must know."
"Get used t' disappointment."
"Okay," and Logan slashing ferociously with the two-fingered sword.
But the sword is knocked out of his hands and Logan catches it. However, he is realizing that will be the last time. He tries again and again to win, but the MIB is too strong, too good, and the two-fingered sword is knocked out of his hand once more. Logan watches the sword fly, but knows he can never reach it in time. He drops to his knees, bows his head, and closes his eyes.
"Kill me quickly," he snarls.
"I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like y'rself. However, since I can't have y' following me either..." And the MIB hits Logan on the back of the head with the hilt of his cardboard sword and Logan, pretends to fall unconscious to the ground. "Please understand, I hold y' in the highest respect." He runs off after Pyro, Piotr, and Rogue.
The POBP appears as the scene changes. Pyro and Colossus are standing in the middle of some large rocks.
"Inconceivable!" Pyro cries. "Give her ta me!" He takes Rogue and starts off. "Catch up with us quickly, mate."
"Vhat do I do?" Piotr asks nervously.
"Finish him. YOUR way."
"Oh, good, my vay. Thanks, Johnny." He pauses. "Uh…which vay is my vay?" Pyro sighs exasperatedly.
"Pick up one o' those rocks, get behind the boulder, and in a few minutes, the Man In Black will come runnin' 'round the bend. The minute 'is head is in view, HIT IT with the ROCK!" Pyro runs off with Rogue.
"My vay is not very sportsmanlike…" Piotr mutters. But he shrugs, grabs a rock, and goes behind the boulder. A few seconds later, the Man In Black comes to the bend in the path. He slows down, but doesn't hear or see anything, so he starts forward again. A rock flies forward right next to his head. Just a LITTLE too close for comfort.
"I did zat on purpose," Piotr says. "Next time, I don't have to miss."
"With friends like that, who needs enemies?" Lightning mutters.
"Remy believes y'—"
"NO! Remy, you can't give away your name!" Raven yells with a fierce glare, stopping the camera. Remy sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Fine. I believe y'…so what do we do now?"
"We face each ozher as zhe script intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
"Y' mean, we get no weapons?"
"I could kill you now." Piotr gets ready to throw the rock. The Man In Black shakes his head and puts down his sword.
"Y'r most likely de best here at dis sort o' fightin', the Man In Black says. "Y' sure I can't challenge y' to a good ol' game o' Go Fish?"
A chair blows up offstage and the Man In Black decides it would be best to—
"STICK TO THE SCRIPT!"
"It's not my fault zhat I am zhe biggest and zhe strongest," Piotr says. "I have metal skin."
As TM looks nervously at Raven, the Man In Black and Piotr circle each other. The Man in Black runs forward, trying to throw Piotr down, but it doesn't work. Piotr just stands there, his body partially in metal form under his clothes. Finally, the Man In Black moves back.
"Look, are y' just plain' 'round wit' me or what?"
"I vant you to feel you are doing vell," Piotr shrugs. "I hate for people to die embarrassed." Suddenly, he lunges at the Man In Black, but said Man In Black dodges away luckily. "You are very quick."
"And a good t'ing, too," the Man In Black mutters.
"Vhy do you vear a mask? Vere you burned by acid?"
"More like de image o' JOTT kissin', but…" he sees the directors glaring at him and coughs. " Dey're very comfortable. I t'ink everyone will be wearing dem in de future."
"NO!" Magneto yells from off-stage. "BUCKETS ARE THE NEW FASHION!" Everyone just looks at him oddly. "BUCKETS! BUCKETS, I SAY!"
"Shut up," CF mutters, and promptly throws a brick at him.
Up on stage, Piotr lunges at the Man In Black again, but the MIB dodges and leaps up, grabbing Piotr's neck. Piotr stands, beginning to walk towards a huge rock.
"I just figured out vhy you give me such trouble," he says. He runs at the rock and turns to that the MIB smashes into it. Of course, the rock is plastic and neither of them gets hurt, but…you don't have to know that.
"Why is dat?"
"Vell, I have never fought somevun for so long," Piotr says, making his voice go all strained…ish. "I used to fight gangs, things like zhat." He slams the MIB against a rock again.
"Dat makes a difference…why?"
"Well…" Piotr coughs, obviously fake, but oh well. "You fight six people differently zhen you fight just vun…" he tries to slam the MIB against another boulder, but his strength is 'gone', and he collapses, un-metalling his body in the process. The MIB rolls Piotr over, and when he realizes that he still lives, he stands up.
"I don' envy y' de headache y'll have when y' get up," the MIB says. "But in de meantime, sleep well…an' dream of kittens." He smirks at Kitty, who is offstage and blushing. Lance is glaring, then pales as he remembers what his part is in the movie. Meanwhile, the MIB flips his sword up with his foot and dashes off.
The scene hurriedly switches to Scott…or, technically, Scott's boot as he puts it in a footprint in the sand. The camera moves up, and suddenly, everyone, save Jean and Raven, starts laughing, no one more than TM and CF. Because Scott is wearing something that looks like a dress. It's purple and has a…fluffy-ish… skirt.
"What's so funny?" He asks, then looks down and groans.
"I should've known this is why CF wanted the costumes to get here…" he mutters.
"Shut up and speak your lines," Raven yells, as the other three directors are laughing behind her. On stage, Scott grumbles, but resumes walking around, miming the fencer's positions. Behind him, Kurt is sitting, blue fur and all, looking both really bored and really amused at Scott's dress. Behind Count Wagner are Bobby, Sam, and some Jamie multiples as soldiers.
"There was a mighty duel—it ranged all over," Scott says. "They were both masters."
"How did it end?" Kurt asks impatiently.
"The loser ran off alone," suddenly, Evan appears out of nowhere.
"You called?"
"No, Porky, the other loser," CF yells. "The one who lost the BATTLE."
"Oh." Evan disappears again.
"The winner followed these footprints towards Guilder!" Prince Scooterdinck says, trying to 'take command'. Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Shall we track zhem both?"
"The loser is nothing. Only the Princess matters." He looks at the warriors. "Clearly this was planned by Guilder. We must be ready for whatever lies ahead!"
"Could zhis be a trap?"
"I think everything's a trap. Which is why I'm still alive."
"No, you're alive because the directors won't let us kill you until after the movie," Bobby says. Then, he and everyone else watch with amusement as Scott jumps off the rock onto his horse, aka Ray/Rob.
"AAH!" Because he's uncoordinated like that, he falls straight off. Everyone snickers and laughs. He blushes and climbs back on, but immediately gives another yell as the 'horse' starts galloping around. "OW! Ray! You just electrocuted my—"
"I thought you couldn't feel it, with the pole and all!" Ray, from inside the horse, shouts back. Everyone, except Raven, starts laughing hysterically as Ray and Roberto continue fighting. Finally, Lightning manages to yell for them to stop.
"Can we take that out of the tape?" Scott pleads.
"Hmm…let me think…NO!" TM and CF yell. Scott groans and twitches at the same time, as Ray/Rob gallops off. Everyone chuckles. The scene switches to the MIB coming over the top of a hill.
"YES!" CF squeals, sitting up excitedly. "This is my FAVORITE part!"
"Of course," Raven mutters.
On stage, Pyro is sitting next to a blindfolded Rogue, a knife at her throat. There is food and two goblets of wine laid out in front of them. The MIB comes running around the bend, and him and Pyro stare at each other.
"So. It's down ta you, mate, and it's down ta me." The MIB steps forward. "Oh, by all means, keep walkin' forward, IF ya wish her dead." He moves the knife.
"Let m' explain—"
"There's nothing ta explain!" Pyro says. "You're tryin' ta kidnap wot Oy've rightfully stolen!"
"And the logic in that is…?" TM mutters.
"Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?"
"There will be no arrangement—and you're killing her!" He holds the knife against Rogue's throat, who pretends to gasp with pain.
"Ah hate bein' all DID-y," she says. "An' that's a PLASTIC knife!" Paying no attention to Rogue's comment, the MIB stops.
"If dere can be no arrangement, den we are at an impasse."
"Oy'm 'fraid so—Oy can't compete with ya physically, but yer no match fer moy brains!"
"What brains?" Magneto deadpans. CF and Pyro glare at him.
"Y're dat smart?" the MIB says with real disbelief.
"Ya ever heard o' Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?"
"Oui."
"Morons."
"Really? In dat case, I challenge y' t' a battle o' wits."
"For the sheila?"
The MIB nods.
"Ta the death?"
Another nod.
Pyro grins happily. "Oy accept!" He cheers, putting the knife away.
"Good. Den pour de…wine." The MIB looks at it suspiciously.
"It's cranberry juice," TM says. "And don't worry, it's not spiked." Nodding thankfully, Pyro pours the wine as the MIB sits and pulls a packet of white…powdery…stuff, from inside his clothes.
"Inhale dis, but do not touch." Pyro sniffs at it, then hands it back.
"Oy smell nothing."
"What y' do not smell is iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, an' is one o' de deadliest poisons known t' mutants." Technically, it's a white colored pixy stix.
"Hmm…" Pyro watches as the MIB takes the goblets, turns away, and does…something. When he turns back, the iocane packet is empty. He rotates the goblets, REEEALLY pathetically, as Pyro snickers, and then place one in front of John and one in front of himself.
"All right. Where is de poison? De battle of wits has begun. It ends when y' decide, an' we both drink. Den, we find out who is right, an' who is dead."
"But it's so simple. All Oy have ta do is devise from wot Oy know of ya—are ya the kind o' bloke who'd put the poison into 'is own goblet, or into that of his enemy? A clever bloke would put the poison into 'is own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would drink wot was put in front o' him! Oy am not a great fool, so Oy can clearly not choose the wine in front o' y. But ya must have known Oy was not a great fool, ya would've counted on it, so Oy can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!"
"You've made your choice?"
"Not remotely! Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone except JOTT knows, an' Australia is entirely people with criminals—ey, that ain't true, mates!"
"Just keep going," Raven snaps. "This movie is OLD."
"Wotever. Anyway, criminals are used ta having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so Oy can clearly not choose the wine in front o' ya!"
"Truly, y' have a dizzying intellect."
"Jus' wait till Oy get started! Uh…where was Oy?"
"Australia."
"That's royght, Australia. An' ya must have suspected Oy would've known the powder's origin, so clearly Oy can not choose the wine in front o' me."
"Y're just stallin' now."
Pyro laughs maniacally. "Ya'd like ta think that, wouldn't ya! Ya've beaten moy giant, which means yer exceptionally strong. Ya could've put the poison into yer own goblet, counting on your strength ta save ya. But you've also bested moy Canadian, which means ya've studied, an' in studying ya must've learned that mutants are mortal, and put the wine as far away from you as possible! So Oy can clearly not choose the wine in front o' me!"
"You're trying t' trick m' int' giving away something. It ain't going t' work—"
"It HAS worked, mate! Ya've given everything away! Oy know where the poison is!"
"Den make y'r choice!"
"Foyne! And my choice is—wot in the world is that?" he points behind the MIB, who does, actually, fall for the oldest trick in the book, and turns. Pyro switches goblets with him.
"What? I don' see anyt'ing."
"Oh, um…Oy could've sworn Oy saw something…no matter!" he laughs again.
"What's so funny?"
"Um…Oy'll tell ya in a minute. But now, we drink! Me from my goblet, an' you, from yours." Carefully watching each other, the two of them drink. When they set the goblets down, the MIB laughs.
"Y' guessed wrong, mon ami!"
"Ya only think Oy guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! Oy switched glasses when your back was turned! Ya just fell victim to one o' the classic blunders! The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia!' but only slightly less well known is—never go up 'gainst a pyromaniac, when DEATH is on the line!" He laughs maniacally, and suddenly…falls over, pretending to be dead.
The MIB steps over Pyro and unties Rogue's blindfold and hands; luckily, they are both wearing gloves.
"And ta think," she says, looking down at Pyro. "All that time the poison was in yahr own goblet." The MIB looks up at her, and his eyes really should've given him away, but…it's OUR parody, so TOO BAD!
"Dey were both poisoned. I spent de last few years buildin' up an immunity t' iocane powder." He runs off, taking her behind him, and the screen switches to Prince Scooterdinck examining the sand where Piotr fought the MIB.
"Someone has beaten a giant," he says, standing up. "There will be great suffering in Guilder if she dies." He leaps on his horse, falls off, tries again, and gallops off. TM puts the POBP in front of the camera.
"CUT!" They all yell. Scott falls of the 'horse' again, and runs away with a girlish scream.
"How was that, CF?" Pyro asks, running up, finally out of his costume.
"That was the best part!" CF squeals. The two of them start discussing the latest plans for Squirrel World Domination.
"What's up next?" Lightning asks.
"Fire swamp," Raven says. Both CF and Pyro's heads jerk up. "Keep talking, maniacs." She mutters.
"Don't worry, Ravie," TM says. "We can torture Scott some more next scene."
"Okay," Raven and Lightning agree. From far, far away, we hear Scott's scream, and Lightning and TM laugh evilly, while Raven grins her evilest grin.
REVIEW RESPONSES!
Heartsyhawk:
CF:I do so love the fear my squirrels inspire! LOL. You haven't seen this movie? Wow! It's like, one of the best ever! Well, Pyro is a bit crazy, so he thought for a sec he was really gonna die. But I wouldn't let that happen to Pyro ;) Ooh! Anastasia! I can't wait.
TM:You've never seen The Princess Bride? I pity you. It's hilarious. Thanks for not rescuing her, we really need her. Lol.
Blue-fuzzy:
CF:I think Pyro was, but hey, to each their own. The peanut line is one of my faves too!
TM:We love Piotr's rhyming too.
Chica De Los Ojos Café:
CF: Hey, I'm not the one who wrote that. Surprisingly. She did ((points at TM)) Glad you thought it rocked!
TM:Yes, I can see you and CF drooling over Pyro in tights. Lol.
I-love-Richard:
CF: Oh, well, we'll try to tone down the insanity. Maybe. Hey, I feel your pain, dude…no caffeine, is like, the end of the world for me…
TM: No caffeine? I feel your pain. I won't be drinking too much of it for a while… (cries) Okay, I'm back. As for our parody being hard to follow…I guess a lot of it, you'd have to read our other stories. We do tend to use inside jokes…
Invisible Stranger:
CF:Oh, don't worry, that was an empty threat. Well, not really. LOL. I'm glad you like Scott's (much improved, no?) name.
TM:Oh, neither can I…Remember in the Lion King where the Hyena's are like " Mufasa," "Ooo..." "Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa…" Well, that's how I hear Scooterdinck in my head, "Scooterdinck, Scooterdinck, Scooterdinck!" lol.
Chained2aMask:
CF: Thanks! Toodles…what a fun word…:P
TM:Thanks!
Merryb:
CF: Yes! Here is the other chapter! A bit late, I'll admit…but that's okay…
TM:Oh, don't worry, here you go. We won't abandon this. We love it too much. Now, if only SOMEONE didn't go on so many vacations… we would have had it to you sooner. Lol.
CF: THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED THIS STORY! Because we didn't get to thank you…WE ARE THANKING YOU NOW!
TM: And that goes for me too!
REVIEW THREATS!
CF: Same old, same old. Review or I will send my new squirrels after you. And they have flaming nunchucks.
TM: Uh, huh, brand new squirrels, oh I'd review if I were you!