Chapter Nine

Hermione woke up and felt as if she'd only slept for a minute. Did last night really happen? It suddenly hit her that perhaps what she did wasn't the best thing. But I want him to care for me.

Oh God, what did I do?

She took a quick shower, changed her clothes, and made her way to the Heads common room. There was no trace of Draco. She sighed in relief, but deep down she was worried.

What is Draco thinking? she thought.

Draco Malfoy sat at the Slytherin table eating breakfast. He stared blankly at his porridge and tried to figure out what was it about Hermione that made him feel the way he did. He was going through everything that had happened during that school year. He'd always been the dominant one with every girl he'd ever been with.

What changed?

This year, he felt vulnerable, considering the fact that he never showed his feelings to anyone. He couldn't lie to himself. He hated this new "him". This sensitive, overreacting, ridiculous Malfoy. He needed to go back to the way he was. Maintain his flawless reputation as the arrogant player of Slytherin.

But Hermione…. Was she even worth it? Sure, he was going to make her pay for what she did to him the night before, and he certainly wanted to sleep with her…

But is that ALL he wants? Draco closed his eyes to get himself in order. When he opened them, they hardened, reflecting that old Draco might be coming back.

Hermione sat in her Ancient Runes class thinking about Draco and Ron.

Ron….

She was furious at him for what he did with Lavender, but then again, she wasn't innocent either. And Draco. Before they went into his room he'd said he was sorry about everything that had happened. Hermione, why did you do that to him! She was mentally kicking herself, but she knew she'd done the right thing. After the class, she had to speak to Ron.

Ron and Hermione sat at the back of the library, staring at the wood before them. Hermione had her hands folded on top of her lap and Ron kept throwing nervous glances at her.

"Did you have fun last night?" she asked, a bit accusingly.

Ron blushed " Mione, I'm so sorry. I didn't…know things were going to turn out like that."

Hermione briefly closed her eyes, looking annoyed, but feeling guilty as well. "I saw how you were with Malfoy" he whispered, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"I'm…sorry too, ok?" she said gently "We both screwed up".

They stayed quiet for a long period of time, not really knowing how to react to the situation. Hermione didn't know how to end it. If she was sincere with herself, she would've broken up with him on the first day. But this was her Ron. Her best friend since first year. She didn't want to make him suffer. Would he really suffer? After all, he didn't look like he was in pain with Lavender.

"Can you forgive me, 'Mione? I forgive you, we can put this past us. I don't want to lose you" Ron said pleadingly.

Those were the words Hermione was dreading to hear. How was it that she had the strength to tease Draco Malfoy but didn't have the guts to be honest with Ron!?

"I don't want to lose you either" she said.

10pm. Hermione walked down one of the silent hallways of Hogwarts. She stopped at one point and stared at the moon and stars that were blinking at her. What has she gotten herself into? She needed to get her thoughts straight.

A smooth hand traced her back and slowly caressed her left arm. She shivered, unable to pull herself away. That same hand began moving downward, slowly making its way to her buttocks, stroking her thigh. Draco stood right behind her and encircled her waist with his hands and pressed her to him.

They stood like that for what seemed like hours.

They were both confused, not knowing what to do with themselves, what to do about their situation. Hermione took the courage to turn her head to the side and stare at his face. His eyes were focused on the moon. He seemed far away, lost in his thoughts. They turned towards her face and pierced hers. Hermione noticed immediately that something was different.

His eyes looked troubled, not lustful.

He looked as if he were in pain, and suddenly, as if he'd realized what he was showing her through his eyes, they hardened. His stare turned into a glare. And yet he was still holding her.

He's trying to hate me, she thought.

That is when Hermione Granger realized that she loved this arrogant son of a bitch. It didnt make any sense to her, but she knew she did.

Just seeing the fact that he's struggling with his emotions showed her that he cared, and he wasn't even aware of it.

On the contrary, he was fighting it.

Draco conjured every unpleasant moment he'd ever had with her. Their fights, her slaps, her proud attitude…he wanted to hate her with every fiber of her being.

Then why are you still holding her?

He couldn't let go.

By God he wanted to, and he tried.

But he couldn't.

"We haven't broken up, you know?" she told him sadly. "I...I don't know how" she finally confessed.

Draco gave her a thoughtful look but remained silent. It frustrated her that he didnt even look angry. Suddenly, he let go of her and took a few steps back. She fully turned around to face him. She wanted him to be close to her again.

"Please, don't go" she barely whispered.

Draco had planned to do whatever he took to turn her on and then, when she almost reached her peak, leave her cold and lonely. But suddenly it seemed stupid to do that. God, he was such a male! That was the way he'd thought he would make her pay for what she did last night. Truth was, all that cocky thinking was gone from his head at that moment. If he wanted to get his old life back, he needed to walk away from her. She slowly started to make her way to him, but he made a motion with his hand to stop her.

Then, as if possessed, he tried to give her the coldest glare.

It made her flinch.And that was what he needed to end it.

"None of it ever happened, Granger"

Hermione tried to get closer, whispering "no" over and over again, but with every step she took forward, he took a step back.

"Did you think something could ever happen between us, mudblood." he said mockingly.

Don't cry, Hermione, don't cry. she told herself.

Finally, he gave her his back and made his way back to the Heads apartment. He walked inside and went straight for his room. He locked his door and let out a deep breath.

It's over...