Chapter Thirty
Willow pushed Xander into the living room as Buffy ran upstairs and Janet followed Angel outside. As soon as Willow heard the front door close, Willow hit Xander's arm.
"What the hell is the matter with you!?" She yelled.
"OW!" Xander grabbed his bruising arm. "What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you? You hit me!"
"Cause you deserved it you ass!" Willow placed her arms on her hips and scowled at Xander's defensive look.
"I thought you were over your petty feeling towards Angel!"
"I was," Xander replied, " But that was before he made her sleep with him! I mean come on Will, Brian's not even buried twenty-four hours, and they're jumping each other!"
"SO?" Willow threw her hands in the air. "If that's what Buffy feels that's what she wants to do, then fine! Who am I to tell her any different?"
"But she was married to Brian for how many years?"
"Five." Willow answered.
"Okay, and it wasn't until this year, that she even started having second thoughts about it all! And that was when he showed up!" Xander pointed towards the front porch, where Janet and Angel were now sitting in the porch swing.
"Are you sure it was just this year, Xander?" Willow questioned her best friend. "Or maybe she only started to voice her opinions recently?"
"What are you getting at, Will? Buffy always told me everything was fine between her and Brian."
" 'Fine", but not 'happy"," Willow pointed out.
"You mean she was thinking about leaving Brian?" This was news to Xander.
He watched Willow's face as he asked his questions. She had on her "resolve face". Which along with meaning she wasn't about give in to any one, also told him when Willow was dead serious about something.
"Buffy was leaving Brian?" Xander asked again.
"Yeah," Willow confirmed. "She had been talking to me about for about two years now."
Willow hung her head, as Xander wiped his face with hand, the realization sinking in.
"Wow," Xander said, letting the couch catch him. "I had no idea."
"Yeah, it came as a shock to me too when Buffy came and told me."
"So, Buff was going to leave Brian?"
"Not exactly," Willow said as she took a seat beside him. "I mean, I know she came to me about her reservations, but she wasn't sure what her plans were."
The two former Sunnydale students sat in Buffy's living room, letting the gravity of Willow's revelation sink in. Xander took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch. A minute later, Willow joined him.
"What was it that was making Buffy consider leaving?" Xander looked to his best friend for a response.
"Well, there were several factors," Willow tried to explain. "I mean, she didn't go into graphic detail, but she did tell me that his constant working and traveling, especially without her, proved most trying."
"I can see that point," Xander understood. "The day Buff and Brian came home from their vacation in Miami, she came into the kitchen, and she told me that Brian and just left to go to the office."
"I don't remember hearing about that," Willow said, concerned.
"Things got pretty hectic here for awhile after she got back," Xander pointed out, "She probably just forgot."
Willow leaned back against the couch. Xander sat up, rubbing his face.
"Man," He groaned," I feel like an idiot!"
"Why?"
"Because, I've been yelling at Buffy about her decisions, and just making it worse!"
"Congratulations," Willow said sarcastically, clapping her hands. "You finally figured out you're a jerk!"
"Yeah, and I probably pissed Buffy off, big time."
Willow sat up next to Xander.
"Maybe not," Willow placed a caring hand on Xander's shoulder. "You could offer an apology, before you go bury your head in the sand."
"Hmm, let's see. Bury my head in the sand for the rest of my life, or go upstairs and get staked by Buffy the You-pissed-me-off-now-let-me-kill-you, Slayer?"
Xander hung his head.
"It won't be that bad," Willow said. "Just be nice, and sincere."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"I'm always right," Willow smirked. "I'm a woman."
Xander smiled as he stood from the couch and headed for the stairs. He was stopped short by Janet walking in saying; "Oh, I'm going to have to get on to that girl."
Xander watched as Janet then began to rub her eyes. "Buffy needs to keep a tighter grip on her housecleaning." Then he watched as Janet ascended the stairs and knocked on Buffy's door.
"Okay," Xander said placing his hands in his pockets, and sitting back down. "I guess I'll wait."
Angel walked in from the porch and entered the living room. Seeing Willow and Xander in the Living room, Angel suddenly felt out of place.
"Uh, Willow," Angel said timidly. "When Buffy comes down, could you tell her I went back to my place?"
"Yeah, sure Angel," Willow nodded.
"Thanks." Angel smiled weakly and turned to go. Willow exchanged a glance with Xander who reluctantly rose from his seat. "Hey, Angel, wait up."
Angel stopped and turned to face Xander.
"Yeah," he answered, "what is it?"
"I, uh, I just wanted to say that –Well, I'm sorry for the way I acted back there."
Angel shrugged his shoulders as he listened to Xander try and apologize.
"Yeah, okay."
"Okay?" Xander was a little surprised. "That's it? 'Okay'?"
"What did you expect me to say?"
"I don't know, but 'Okay', wasn't it," Xander replied.
"That it?" Angel asked motioning towards the door.
"Yeah, basically," Xander told Angel.
"Then I'm gone." Angel turned towards the front door.
"Hey, wait up a sec!"
Angel rolled his eyes as he turned back around to face Xander.
"What?" Angel asked, annoyance beginning to seep in his voice.
"Why don't you go upstairs? You know, comfort Buffy?"
Angel looked puzzled.
"She loves you. More than she even likes to admit. And I know that you're the only person, living or dead, who can bring Buffy any comfort."
At that moment, Janet was coming downstairs from her conversation with Buffy.
"This looks interesting," she commented, coming down from the final step. "Do I need to play referee?"
"No we got it," Xander said looking at Angel. "Thanks, though."
"Alright," Janet said, unsure of Xander. "But you boys play nice."
"Yes, Ma'am." Xander smiled. Janet returned the gesture and ushered Willow into the Kitchen.
Once the women were out of earshot, Xander looked at Angel.
"Let me go first," he said. Angel looked at him as if he were dinner.
"Just to apologize. I don't think she would believe it from anyone else."
Angel narrowed his eyes, but did not say a word. Assuming the coast was clear, Xander headed upstairs and knocked on Buffy's door.
"Hey Buff," Xander called through the door. "Is it alright if I come in?"
"Yeah, sure," Was Buffy's reply. Xander opened the door and walked in to find Buffy going through a box of mementos.
"You okay?" Xander asked as he walked closer.
"Yeah," Buffy said wiping away a tear. "Everything's fine."
Xander timidly took a seat on the bed, and watched as Buffy continued her trek down memory lane.
"Look," Xander cleared his throat. "I just wanted to apologize to you personally. About what happened downstairs. What you and Angel decide to do is none of my business, and I'm sorry if I was an ass."
Buffy set down the picture of her and Brian on vacation, and looked at Xander.
"Wow, that actually sounded sincere."
"It is," Xander told her. "And I wanted to let you know that, I want to you to get out of here."
Buffy tilted her head at Xander.
"Angel's waiting downstairs. He's waiting to come up and talk to you, but I think it would do you some good to get out. Spend some time away from where you and Brian spent so much time."
"Who are you, and what have you done with Xander?" Buffy placed a hand on Xander's forehead. "Nope, no fever. You must be possessed then."
"No, Buffy. It's me. I just –It just took me almost 15 years, to realize that no matter what happens, you need to be with Angel. For however long that is. So, go down and take it."
"But what about Janet?" Buffy asked. "I still need to get her to the airport tomorrow."
"Let me do that. You spend your time with Angel. Especially while things are quiet on the supernatural front."
"Jasper," Buffy whispered. "I almost forgot. He just about killed me and Angel."
"Yeah, so before he strikes again," Xander pointed out, "Spend time with Angel."
Buffy looked down at the mementos that she had kept of her time with Brian. Pictures, ticket stubs, flower pressings. All little things that were supposed to bring back happy memories of her marriage. But somehow they felt empty. Meaningless. Buffy began to chuckle through her tears.
"What's so funny?" Xander asked, his brows curled.
"I have this gigantic shoe box filled with all these sweet reminders of Brian. And you know what?"
Xander shook his head.
"None of them bring nearly as many memories, happy and sad, as that necklace," Buffy pointed to her dresser, where the Cross Angel had given her so long ago hung over a corner of the mirror.
"The book he gave me that Brian and Giles replaced, and his ring."
"That's why you where so upset when you opened it." Xander said understanding.
"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "I only have these three little things that he gave me, and I treasure them more than anything Brian ever gave me." Xander watched as Buffy's eyes watered up again.
"I thought everything was so perfect when I was with Brian. Even with all his late night hours, spent pouring over sketches. But you know what?"
"No, Buff," Xander replied, wondering where Buffy was going. "I don't."
"Right now, in this moment, I feel perfect happiness."
Buffy burst into tears and leaned against Xander's shoulder. "And I feel guilty about it!"
Xander held Buffy as she cried and made circular motions across her back, soothing her.
"Shh, it's okay Buffy," he said in an attempt to calm. "I really can't tell you much about the way you feel." Xander pushed Buffy away to look her in the eye. "But Angel does. And right now, you need him."
Xander pulled Buffy from the bed, and coaxed her out the door. He helped her downstairs, and not missing a beat, placed her in Angel's arms.
"Take her," he told Angel, answering the former Vampire's questionings stare. "She needs to talk with someone who's been in your shoes."
Angel continued to stand there as Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Angel, make the pain stop," she cried into his jacket. "Make it stop."
"It has to do with guilt and perfect happiness."
Angel blinked his eyes as Xander's words rung a bell. Nodding at the former construction foreman, he swooped Buffy into his arms, and left the house. Xander watched from the open doorway, as Angel placed Buffy in his car, walked around and enter his side, before speeding off.
"Make her happy, Angel." Xander whispered as Angel's GTX drove out of sight.
A/N: Well? What did you think? Sorry I am taking so long, but I am having trouble getting the last few chaps inorder! UGH! Anyway, I usually wait till I have 5 reviews before I post again, so keep the reviews coming!! Feedback is a MUST! Update Soon!