Something in the Air

Act V

The living room in the Mallard household was empty. However, the sounds coming from the kitchen suggested that Launchpad was in there, so Beth wasted no time in proving this hypothesis.

He was standing over the sink, peeling a potato, when she came in. "Launchpad!" she said as she entered, and he jumped.

"Oh- Beth! I didn't expect to see ya for a while- didn't Drake go over to your house?"

She nodded, her eyes wide. "I don't know what to do! I'm having a really weird day, and everything is just so confusing!" She stopped. "Did I interrupt you?"

"Nah," he said, shrugging. "Since everyone else is out, I'm just makin' dinner. I'm not sure what I'm gonna have yet, but these potatoes look good!" He chuckled, and went back to the peeling. "So what's confusing?"

Sighing, she shook her head. "Everything," she repeated. "First I have this crazy meeting at work, and then I get this horrible chemical spilled all over me, and all of a sudden men are going nuts over me, then I get kidnapped, and then Drake comes over and proposes-" She stopped as Launchpad cried out, dropping the potato and knife and holding his finger. "Oh, what happened?" she asked.

Numbed by her revelation, he didn't move when she took his hand to see the cut. "Nothing," he said. She looked up from the cut and their eyes met. After a moment's pause, he muttered, "Congratulations."

It hit her like a bag of bricks. Of course! Of course Launchpad would be under the spell, too! And she was such a fool, never thinking of that, now flaunting her status with Drake... Chemically induced or no, these were still the feelings of her best friend, and the news had obviously shaken him to the core.

"I'm sorry," she began, nervously. "I really should have thought before I said that. I mean, I know... how you feel about me right now."

Launchpad thought his heart was going to stop beating. Somehow he managed to push out, "You... do?" without having a single breath of air in his lungs.

She nodded. "It's a spell, though. We have it all figured out... Well, most of the way figured out anyway. Honker and I that is. We're working on a cure, well, at the moment Honker's the one working, since I'm here. Um, here, let me-" She wet a paper towel and brought it back to him, took his hand again, and began dabbing gently at the cut. "Anyway, that's the reason you and Drake and everyone else are... um, you know. There's a love spell on me, well, not really a spell at all because it has a scientific explanation, but it might as well be a love spell for the effects it's having." He wasn't answering, so she tried to ignore the awkwardness of the situation by concentrating on the cut and continuing her explanation. "It was that perfume, the stuff I was wearing earlier that smelled really awful? Well it turns out that it wasn't perfume at all but some kind of weird chemical that affects people's minds and it mixed with something else and in the end it affected my pheromones- do you know what pheromones are?- well, in any case, what it basically does is make men fall in love with me when they smell it. But Honker is working on a cure right now and I'm going to help him in just a few minutes, and we'll have everything set straight! Don't worry! I know what you're feeling right now is confusing, but it'll be okay in the end, really." She took a deep breath, then smiled reassuringly.

Launchpad tried to wrap his mind around what she'd said; in truth, he'd been concentrating on the feeling of her hands holding his, gently dabbing at the cut. She was DW's now, he told himself. He had to stop longing for her, because it was just never going to happen between them. He nodded. "I guess so," he said, reluctant to admit that he hadn't been attending very closely to what she'd been saying. Whatever it was, the gist of it as he heard it was that she thought his feelings were coming from something outside him. In other words, she didn't know how he felt, although she thought she did.

She sighed, and after a pause, said, "I'm sorry you cut your finger over me."

At a loss, he said, "Don't worry about it." He realized that, in some small way, he was relieved that she didn't know the depth of his real feelings; it would be a lot easier if she didn't have to deal with him, in the long run.

"There, that looks a little better," she said to his hand. She let go and threw the paper towel away, then asked him, "Where are the band-aids?"

"Cupboard, over there," he answered quietly. As she stood on tiptoe to reach the top shelf, he forced himself to ask, "So- are you gonna?"

She looked back at him quickly. "What?"

"Marry DW. You said he asked." He could have sworn she looked slightly panicked before she turned back to the cupboard. Must've been his imagination. "I mean... that's what you've always wanted, right?"

Beth's heart went out to him in a flash; he must be pining for her, but he was still playing the faithful best friend. It was strange, how subdued he was acting- Drake, and Steelbeak, and everyone else had all been intensely clamouring at her, trying to win her, but Launchpad simply took a step back. For a second she wondered if maybe he wasn't affected by the perfume, but then again, he hadn't denied loving her when she'd mentioned it. With the band-aids in hand, she turned back to him.

"Well... I thought it was," she answered, doubt obvious in her voice. "I mean, don't get me wrong- you know how I've always felt about Drake." Even when she tried to put it delicately, Launchpad looked like he'd just seen someone kick about a dozen puppies, one after the other. She frowned and focused her attention on unwrapping the band-aid so that she wouldn't have to look at his face. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep rubbing it in."

"It's okay. Talk to me like ya normally would." He put his other hand over hers, the warmth of his feathers matching the warmth in his voice.

She smiled softly to herself as she went on. "But, the whole reason I came over here is because- because I... I can't say yes." His hand tightened around hers a little. "I mean, the entire reason Drake is... is feeling this way is the same reason you are, and can I really take advantage of that? He doesn't have any real control over his feelings. And what if it wears off?"

Sighing, she wound the band-aid around his finger absently, almost lingering over it. "Besides that, I don't... I don't know if I'm ready. Something in me feels... strange. Or is that normal?"

He thought on it. "I think," he said slowly, "that if you're ready, you just know. It feels like the most normal thing in the world. But..." He chuckled. "I might not be the greatest person to ask about that. I haven't had that many, uh, long-term relationships."

Smiling, she looked up at him. "I find that hard to believe."

"Why's that?"

"I can't believe any girl would let you get away." She grinned, still holding his hand. He smiled, and took his other hand from over hers, holding it to her face gently. With no more words, he bent and kissed her.

How much time passed before Beth realized exactly what was going on, she wasn't sure. Even then, his kiss held so much comfort and felt so easy that it took her a while to remember to panic. When she finally came to awareness, she was leaning into his embrace, her hands clasped against her chest and her head slightly tilted. A real movie moment- but with the wrong man.

She gasped, pushing away from him, and even as she covered her bill in shock and stepped away his eyes went wide and he nearly ran to the other side of the room. With most of the kitchen between them, they stood and stared at each other- two frozen pictures of startled guilt.

He broke the silence first, desperate to end it before it choked them. "S-sorry. I don't know why I did that. I'm so sorry."

Shaking her head, Beth instantly did her best to reassure him. "Oh no, no no! It's not your fault, don't feel bad!" She didn't voice the thought that brought her the most anxiety: that she could have refused him, that she had let him kiss her- that the blame was really hers alone. Instead, she said, "I mean it took me by surprise but- I know it's just the spell!"

Launchpad flushed and hung his head. "I guess... but... well, no-"

They jumped at the sound of the front door opening. "Hello?" called Drake from the living room. "Launchpad? Beth?"

The look of terror that passed over Beth's face couldn't have been greater if she'd stepped into a nest of cobras. Her eyes met Launchpad's, and they shared a moment of panic just before Drake found them.

Smiling when he saw her, Drake barely gave a look to Launchpad as he entered. "There you are! I got lonely." He noticed his sidekick over on the other side of the room, looking mildly panicked. Something was strange about this picture. Puzzled, he asked, "What's going on?"

"Launchpad cut his finger!" Beth blurted out abruptly. After a moment's pause she added, "...I was tending to it." Launchpad held up his bandaged finger, as if for proof.

"Oh, playing the nursemaid, huh?" Drake came closer to her and put his arms around her waist. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" Beth laughed nervously and shook her head. "No, you are! Isn't she, LP?"

Launchpad found that his mouth had gone quite dry. "Aha... uh, yep, she is that." He wished he were anywhere but there. "Uh, y'know what, I gotta go. I had some tune-ups to do on the TQ today, so, uh... you know." With a shrug that he hoped looked casual, he turned and nearly fled from the kitchen.

"My little love blossom," Drake said happily, barely noticing Launchpad's departure. Beth surprised him by turning in his embrace, throwing her arms around his shoulders, and initiating a somewhat clumsy but obviously well-felt kiss. When he was able, he grinned at her. "Well! Aren't we affectionate today!"

She smiled, looking a little less uncomfortable than she had a moment or two ago, then pulled out of his embrace. "Uh, sorry to run again, Drake, but I have to call my mother to tell her- well, to tell her that I'm getting married!" She let out a nervous giggle as Drake's face lit up with joy. One more brief kiss and she ran out of the kitchen.

As she flew down the pathway, she wondered why she'd told him that. Guilt, no doubt, she realized. Her heart sank. How could she have let this happen? Nervousness about marrying Drake aside, she loved him completely- and yet she'd let Launchpad kiss her, without objections.

Maybe it was a friendly kiss. Well, not from him of course- but maybe that was why she'd let him do it? Sure- she had, after all, complimented him a moment before. He'd bent to her, and she'd kissed him as a friend, a brother. Except, of course, for the fact that it had gone on at least twice as long as a friendly kiss. She'd even lost track of it, for crying out loud. She had no excuse; it was a moment of weakness.

Well, then again, being kissed by a man in love with you could do that to you. Probably. Before today, she'd never been kissed by a man who was in love with her. Which led her to another question: how could she have failed to realize that Launchpad was affected by the spell? She'd seen the effect it was having on every man she met, and yet she'd totally ignored Launchpad. Then again, before that kiss, he had shown no signs of being smitten; he acted the same way he always did, like a best friend. Why would he act differently than the other men she'd interacted with? Did the chemical have a delayed effect on him? Maybe its effects were only partial on some people?

He was acting just the way he normally did... except for that kiss.

This settled it; she had to find the antidote for this love spell business. If not, Launchpad would be left miserably loving her from afar, and acting... acting the way he always did. Which made no sense.

Steelbeak tapped the stupid rock he was supposed to be examining on the table in front of him. Let FOWL High Command figure this one out; he had no idea how this "Midas stone" was supposed to go. Actually all he could think of was that brunette vision who Darkwing had carted off. He'd tried to tell himself he was glad to be rid of her; after all, having a prisoner get in the way when she wasn't needed was just a pain. But he found himself missing her gentle mannerisms, and her almost skittish temperament. He regretted the fact that she'd left while scared of him; sure, it was an opinion he cultivated, but somehow he didn't want her to keep that opinion like the others. He wanted to show her the real Steelbeak, the guy underneath the spy.

He snapped out of his reverie when the stone tumbled off the table and clinked almost metallically on the ground. Stooping to pick it up, he wondered just what the heck this thing was made of, anyway. It looked like coloured glass, but it was so light! Almost like it was hollow! And the glowing was the weirdest part. The thing gave off more light than a glow stick! Well, as long as he couldn't figure out how to use it to get gold, he might as well take care of the other part of his assignment.

"Boys!" he called to the Eggmen on duty. The three were standing in the corner, and each was staring off into the distance. He had to call to them again before they heard him and responded; he didn't have the presence of mind to yell at them, so just let it go. "Time to make the ransom video," he announced, straightening his bow tie and smoothing back his comb, wishing the object of his affection were here to admire him. The Eggmen scrambled to put together a mock-studio for the recording purposes. FOWL intended to make their demands known before they returned this Philosopher's Stone thingie; of course, they also intended to find out the way it worked so that they could make plenty of their own, too. But SHUSH wasn't going to be told that.

Steelbeak seated himself in front of the camera, his thoughts again going to the beautiful woman he'd had, and lost, earlier. Beth, that was her name. This ransom video was probably a good way to get his mind off her... Getting on down to business, that was the best thing to do. No problem. He looked into the camera, trying to think of what to say.

Beth tried not to get exasperated as Drake interrupted her for the fourth time. Composing herself, she put down the slide she had in her left hand and turned to him.

He smiled back. "Can I refill your juice for you, honey wumpus?"

She had to choke back the urge to giggle as her bill turned into an involuntary smile. "That's okay, darling, I can get it for myself when I want more."

"But I like helping you, snugglepuss!"

Honker sighed and tried not to pay any attention to the two adults as they nuzzled bills. He'd had a feeling that moving their research into the Mallard house would be a bad idea, and the fact that they'd gotten about half as much done as they had at Beth's house didn't disprove it. He looked up from his notes and sighed- Beth was supposed to be dictating to him, and there was just nothing he could do until she started again.

Giggling, she glanced over at Honker and seemed to remember him- and what they were doing. "Oh- uh, Drake," she said, pulling out of his embrace, "Honker and I really need to get back to this."

"I'll just get you that drink, then," he said lightly, and set off to the kitchen with her glass in hand.

"Drake?" she called, stopping him. "Don't you- I mean, not that I don't like having you around," she said, and giggled again, "but don't you maybe want to... you know... go fight Steelbeak?"

Drake began hedging immediately. "Wwwwwwell," he began, in a tone of voice that suggested he was doing some serious rationalizing, "Steelbeak knows that I know where his hideout is. That means that he'll be expecting me to return, and I'll have to have a specific plan of attack before I try.

"And that," he continued, "means I'll have to wait until after dinner, because I really can't think on an empty stomach." Smiling, he walked back to her and put his arms around her shoulders. "Besides, you went through a lot today. I have to make sure you're okay, now don't I?"

She smiled, blushing, then cleared her throat. "But I really should get back to this... Um, is Launchpad back?" she added, trying too hard to sound casual.

Fortunately, it was apparently casual enough for Drake's purposes. "He's still at the Tower. I haven't seen him stay there this long in months." Patting her on the back, he let her go. "I'll get you that drink now and then we'll start dinner."

"Okay," she beamed, then sighed and turned back to Honker. Her smile disappeared, and she looked sheepish. "I know, I know! I can't help it!"

Honker blinked. "Uh, I-"

"I just figured I should enjoy it while I could, right? I mean, I've waited so long for this, and... you know? And he'd be hurt if I told him to leave me alone... It's just a little while longer..." Honker paused, then took a breath, and Beth jumped back in. "I know! I shouldn't rationalize! And I shouldn't make him get me drinks. I'm weak, I know, I'm weak." She sighed. "Let's get back to work."

"Um..." Honker considered this, since Beth had ended the conversation before he could tell her he really had nothing to say on the subject. Then he shrugged. "Okay." They went back to their previous efforts, with Beth dictating her observations and Honker writing them down, for another ten minutes before Drake came by and distracted Beth again. Honker sighed.

By dinner, Gosalyn was several levels higher in her WhiffleQuest III game- a good seven levels above Drake already- while Honker and Beth had about fifteen pages of notes and very few answers to the same questions as before. Launchpad was still absent, and Beth noticed it more than anyone else. She understood his uneasiness around her- she felt it too- but he didn't have to stay away! That made her feel even worse, knowing that it was essentially her presence that was keeping Launchpad from dinner in his own house. He had nothing to feel guilty about, after all- she'd explained about the love "spell". Even as Drake toasted her for her promotion, she kept an ear out for the sound of the chairs from the Tower that would signal Launchpad's return.

When she finally heard it, her heart leapt and she stood in her chair for a moment before realizing she was doing it. Drake stared at her. "It's just the chairs," he said soothingly.

She blushed. "Ah... I know... I just- um..." She sat back down. "Never mind."

Launchpad came in, and gave Beth a quick, awkward smile before addressing Drake. "DW, SHUSH called ya. More than once, I think- I've been workin' on the TQ for a while an' didn't hear it ring."

Drake grimaced. "Did you talk to them?"

"Nope. Just took a message. Director Hooter said he needed to talk to ya, it was urgent, and you should get in touch the moment you got in. Ooh, french fries." Launchpad finished this thought by taking a handful of the leftover fries and shovelling them into his mouth. "Sho," he said, chewing, "wha' should we do?"

Standing, Drake sighed. "Time to get back to work. Beth, you're coming, right?"

"I..." Beth blinked in surprise, and looked at Honker and Gosalyn. Gosalyn rolled her eyes. Better to say no, she decided, and started to. One look at Drake, however, and she melted. "Sure," she said, and giggled. Gosalyn shook her head as Drake and Beth started clearing the table.

"Um, Miss Webfoot," Honker said quietly, catching her arm as she passed him. "Before you go, can we look over the notes?"

She looked guilty. "Of course. I won't go, I'll stay with you and we'll figure this out. Okay?"

"You don't have to stay," Honker answered, but he seemed pleased.

Gosalyn came out of the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream, caught sight of them setting up their lab instruments on the dining room table, and groaned. "You're doing this again? Don't you guys ever quit?"

"This is important," said Beth as Honker set up the microscope. "And even though we've been looking at the same slides for about three hours now, we have to keep looking until we figure this stuff out!"

Through a mouthful of ice cream, Gosalyn said, "Maybe you've been looking at it too long. Maybe you need to just let it perforate."

Honker looked up at Beth. "She has a point," he said. "And I think you mean 'percolate'." Gosalyn shrugged and kept eating.

"Okay," Beth said, "let's go over our notes, then."

"Awwww," Gosalyn exclaimed, "that's not what I meant at all! You guys are the pits! Remind me never to let you hang out together again!" With that, she left for the video game system in the living room.

The notes were rough, but at least Honker's shorthand was legible. In fact, Beth thought absently, his shorthand was better than her own. As she compared two sets of notes from different sessions of examining the formula, something caught her eye. "Look," she said, pointing, "they don't match exactly."

"I noticed that," Honker answered. "I was thinking maybe there'd been some decomposition in the slide's sample."

"Well, the microscope may have been adjusted differently. But it might indicate an instability in the formula's composition, also. It might turn out that after a certain amount of exposure, it loses its effects. Here, why don't we-"

She never got to finish her thought, as Darkwing came back into the room just then. "Ready, Beth?"

Honker waited for her to tell him that she wasn't going, and that she's see him later. There was a moment of silence, and then Beth sprang to her feet and chirped, "Sure!" She shot Honker an apologetic look and bounded towards her love. The chairs spun, and they were gone. Honker sighed, gathered up his notebooks, and walked into the living room.

Without tearing her eyes off the screen, Gosalyn said, "I figured that'd happen. She's never been able to say no to Dad. Wanna play?"

"Um, no thanks," said Honker determinedly. "I have the notes, and I guess I'd better keep looking at this so that when Miss Webfoot comes back we can keep working."

"You," Gosalyn pronounced, as she directed the graphic bits on the screen to leap a chasm, "are a workaholic."