Something In the Air

Act VI

J. Gander Hooter's image on Darkwing's vidscreen looked worried. "So you see, Darkwing, the situation has become more grave... and a bit more bizarre," he said. Beth, who had been instructed to stay offscreen for the call, sat within earshot and gathered information about the case.

"So you got a ransom tape from Steelbeak? I don't suppose it gives any new info?" Darkwing asked, his attention focused on his work now instead of Beth. She admired that.

The image of J. Gander shook its head. "Some, but not much. See for yourself."

The picture changed, from the elderly director of SHUSH to the younger, suave but distracted-looking agent of FOWL. Steelbeak's taped image wiped his forehead in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness, and began. "Hello, SHUSH folks! We here at FOWL are, uh... well, we got yer rock." He chuckled half-heartedly, looking uncomfortable. "Y'know we like to play fair, though, so we're gonna give you every opportunity to get this pretty little thing back... So long as you go by our rules." The message was decidedly confusing so far. Steelbeak was normally much more in control of his words, and the situation.

He cleared his throat, and continued. "Uh, first of all, the price is at fifty mil, non-negotiable, and, uh..." He looked slightly frantic for a second, then spat out, "And there's a woman who's in on this too! No deal unless you turn her over to us! Her name's Beth-" he paused, obviously trying to remember a last name, but Beth hadn't given one. The woman in question, listening to the transmission, sat wide-eyed. The taped message went on. "Well, that's all she goes by. Ask Darkwing Duck about her, he'll know who I mean. Without her, you get nothin'!"

The screen went black, and a moment later J. Gander reappeared. "So, Darkwing, do you know this young lady Steelbeak is referring to?"

Darkwing, looking shocked, gaped silently for a moment. "I- I... No, I don't think I do," he finally lied. Beth, across the room, jumped up and shook her head at him. He glared back, then turned back to the vidscreen. "Sorry, J. Gander, but he must be... thinking of someone else."

J. Gander looked only slightly disappointed. "No matter. We have no intention of bargaining with FOWL anyway; however, Steelbeak's distraction and anxiety may be linked to this woman, and we'd be interested in learning more about her. We have no records of any FOWL agents who go by that name." He shook his head, and removed his glasses to polish them serenely as he continued. "In any case, despite the deal Steelbeak implied in this video, we doubt very much that FOWL intends to just give the stone back. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that you, Darkwing, retrieve the stone before they can use it." Replacing his glasses, he found that Darkwing was looking intently offscreen and evidently engaged in a silent argument with someone. Most likely that young girl he was often seen with; J. Gander sighed patiently and waited for the wordless discussion to end.

"Oh, uh, sorry J. Gander," he said finally, returning his attention to the screen. "I'll get to work on it right away."

"Wonderful. Do you know where Steelbeak is hiding out yet?"

Darkwing flushed a little. "Uh, I uh... have some leads," he said vaguely. Then he sniffed proudly and straightened up. "You can count on me!"

"Before you go, I think it's best that I tell you as much as I can about the Philosopher's Stone," said J. Gander. He had to pause again, as Darkwing's attention was once more diverted briefly to a quiet scuffle off the screen. When Darkwing looked back apologetically, J. Gander continued as if he there had been no interruption. "The stone is a legendary element which was, centuries ago, supposed to have the ability to transform baser elements into gold. It was long ago debunked, of course, but its discovery right now is an incredible potential asset to the scientific community- not to mention SHUSH's labs itself."

"And if FOWL gets the ability to make gold for themselves out of anything, we could be in real trouble economically," Darkwing said as an afterthought.

J. Gander nodded. "You'd better come in for more thorough briefing," he said formally.

Darkwing looked towards Beth, a little reluctantly, but nodded to the Director of SHUSH. "Launchpad and I will be right in," he said. J. Gander's image snapped off, replaced by the SHUSH logo. His communication done, he stood and walked quickly to Beth. "And you are not going!" he said, before she even had the chance to ask.

Beth looked at him, frustrated. "But Drake! It's the perfect opportunity! I understand more about chemistry than you do, and I'm dying to see how the real Philosopher's Stone would work- if this is the real Stone. Besides that, I have an edge on Steelbeak!"

Arching an eyebrow, Darkwing asked, "Oh really? And that is...?"

She flushed. "W-well, they ... I just don't think he'll hurt me. Trust me!"

He shook his head, putting his arms around her. "Just a few hours ago you were terrified at the idea of being involved in spy work... and you were right! Beth, you can't put yourself in danger for me."

"But I won't be-"

"Hey," he said, putting a finger to her bill. "The answer is no. Got me?" His tone was gentle, but firm. Beth realized there was no point in arguing further. She wilted, nodding her head. "Great. I'll take you home before I go to SHUSH."

They got back to the house to find Gosalyn ahead on her game by another seven levels, while Honker laboriously examined Beth's notes about the chemical solution. Darkwing set about getting a few gadgets together to use in the attack on Steelbeak, since the FOWL agent would indubitably be expecting him. After he'd left the room, Beth waited a full minute and a half before asking Gosalyn how to sneak out.

Gosalyn blinked at her. "Sneak out? Are you serious??"

"Shhhhh! It's necessary! Drake won't let me go otherwise, and-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain it to me!" Gosalyn said, grinning. She hit pause on her video game and stood up. "I just wanted to know if you meant it! C'mon, I'll give you the quickie lesson."

Upstairs, Gosalyn entered her room and pulled a length of knotted up bedsheet from the closet. Then she looped it around the end of the bedpost. "Okay, usually the easiest thing to do is to climb on down. Want me to leave it out so you can get back up?"

Beth looked at her incredulously. "Climb down that? But Gosalyn- wouldn't it make much more sense to just sort of... go quietly out the front door?"

Gosalyn looked at her sternly. "Do you want to sneak out, or do you want to just walk out the door? I mean, I thought you came to me because you wanted to do this right, but hey..."

Beth gave a weary sigh. "Okay, fine. I'll climb. And, um... cover for me, okay?" Gosalyn made an 'O.K' sign with her fingers. Beth smiled. "Thanks." She awkwardly swung her legs over the windowsill, and promptly nearly tumbled right out before she got a death grip on the sheet.

"Just loosen one hand and slide it down each time," Gosalyn coached her. Beth did as instructed, and made it safely to the ground. She and Gosalyn exchanged thumbs-up signs, and then she left. Gosalyn hung out the window, and sighed nostalgically. "They grow up so fast!"

Tonya checked the clock on the wall in her lab, and blinked; somehow about two hours had passed since she'd started work on altering the mind-control potion. Not that she was especially surprised... This sort of thing happened to her all the time. Still, perhaps it was time for some dinner.

She flicked on the lights in the hallway as she walked towards the elevator, shuffling along the well-worn and uncomfortably dusty wood floor. The fourth floor, which was the one where she kept her laboratory, was for some reason the least drafty in the whole apartment building. Since she spent more time in her lab than she did in any other room, it made sense to keep it there.

The whole building wasn't that big, but she was looked upon as odd for keeping it totally to herself. The place had been a full apartment housing building, which her father had left her after he passed away; the remainder of her family had expected her to rent out the rooms as her father had done, but Tonya disliked having people underfoot. When she needed the money, she opened the rooms up for rent for a short while, but only when circumstances were desperate. She didn't care for the sort of people who rented on a weekly basis... they made her nervous and she was always glad when they left.

On some occasions she thought that maybe it would just be easier to sell the place now, but some long-buried attachment to her family's memory stopped her. After all, she had grown up here. And it was nice to have an entire building at her disposal. Granted, the mortgage payments were fierce, but with the advances she was making with her experiments those problems would soon be settled.

In the kitchen she peered through the refrigerator until she found something that was still edible. At least the milk was fresh, since she regularly bought a new carton each Thursday. Throwing together a rather sloppy sandwich, she went back up to her lab, pausing to click off the hallway lights as she went. Someday, she thought, she would have to install some sort of voice-activated command.

As she finished her sandwich, disregarding the crumbs left on the floor- her knowledge of chemicals assured her of no pest problems in the building- she winced as a bit of a commotion struck up a few buildings down the street. How she hated this area! Things like this were always going on outside- voices, screams, the occasional gunfire. It hardly frightened her, but it was irritating. One particular building had been a real problem over the past few days. Out of the blue someone had evidently moved in, and the first night had been the worst. Sounds resembling construction work had distracted her from her experiments for hours, until finally she'd given up and gone to bed at about 3 am. At least this disturbance was relatively quiet in comparison.

Attempting to regain her concentration so she could go back to work on her latest potion, she slammed the window shut and turned away, just in time to miss Beth Webfoot walk down the street.

Beth crept along uncertainly. Despite her assertion to Drake that she had a "secret weapon", now all she could think of was how much trouble she'd be in if it didn't work. But, she reasoned, Drake probably wouldn't be too much longer; all she had to do was take the time to get the Stone, and then Darkwing Duck would show up and save the day- and her.

Finding the right building was harder at night than she'd expected it to be; she was disoriented and had to peer at the brick walls as they went by in order to remember which was which. Finally, however, she found the right place. She thought the building looked familiar, but when she saw the alleyway she was certain; you never forgot the places you got kidnapped from, she'd found. She examined the wall near the end of the alley, searching for the switch which the Eggmen had used earlier to take her inside. Unfortunately, she hadn't had the best view of the mechanism at the time, especially because she hadn't been expecting it. As she squinted, she managed to make out a small dark blotch on the side of the wall. Hoping that it was indeed a button, and not (as it appeared to resemble) just a big black bug, she reached out and pressed it.

Her gutsy move was rewarded with a shoosh sound as the wall slid open, revealing the corridor she distinctly remembered. Trying to keep herself from clapping her hands with delight, as was always her first instinct whenever she figured out something superhero-y, she took a deep breath and stepped into the dimly-lit corridor.

Only a few steps in, she found herself ambushed- facing Eggmen whom she also distinctly remembered, now holding guns which she very distinctly did not remember. She gulped. "Um, hi... fellas. Remember me?" She fluttered her eyelashes and hoped this worked.

Evidently they did remember her, as their holds on the guns loosened and they beamed at her. She sighed in relief. "Hi again," she said. "Um, I hope you've been... okay since I was gone?" They nodded. Not much on words, it seemed.

The biggest one fished about in the pocket of his jumpsuit and came up with a handful of crushed flower petals. "I picked these for you," he said shyly, holding them out to her in his cupped hand. She smiled politely and thanked him. Without warning then, all three again grabbed her and ran with her down the corridor.

"Uh, guys, you really don't have to do this!" she yelped, but to no avail. They didn't set her down again until they'd entered the room she'd been in before. This time, however, it was empty. "W-where's Steelbeak?" she asked them. They looked at each other and shrugged blankly, then stared at her in open admiration. She smiled back at them, almost starting to enjoy herself. It was funny, from the look of things she could do no wrong with these guys. "So... can a girl get a seat around here?" she asked, batting her eyelashes again. They nearly knocked each other over trying to find her a chair.

A definite flurry of motion started in the nearby hallway, opposite the one she'd entered from. Footsteps came running towards the room, then slowed abruptly, and Steelbeak suddenly burst in. He stopped, straightened up, brushed some imaginary lint off of his jacket, and grinned at her.

Suddenly, she found she was terrified. Managing a nervous smile and wave, she said, "H-hi."

"Hey yerself," he said, walking over to her in a way that she thought was probably swaggering, although she'd never actually seen it done before. He pointed at her with the forefingers of both his hands, as if he were pretending to shoot her, and winked. She returned the gesture uncertainly. "So ya couldn't stay away, huh?"

Beth had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. What a lame pick-up line. Oh, well. "Guess not," she said mildly. This wasn't so scary after all... If Steelbeak were coming on as strongly as Drake was, she couldn't have handled it. But this was just fine.

He approached her and tried to look casual. "Hey, uh, I gotcha some stuff," he said, and snapped his fingers. The Eggmen, looking more and more like the Three Stooges as they nearly knocked each other over in their hurry, brought in a handful of packages and jewelry boxes. Beth's eyes widened. He saw her look and grinned. "Just some stuff we had lyin' around."

Out of curiosity, she opened one of the boxes. Inside was a decidedly expensive-looking set of diamond earrings. She pushed the box away. "Oh, I really can't accept these," she said, hoping she didn't sound insulting. "I mean, they cost so much- I'm sorry, I'd love to, but-"

"Cost means nothin'," he said, taking out a small necklace set with emeralds and holding it up against her. "Wow, you'd look great in that!"

Beth found herself blushing. "Well, green is a good colour on me," she said, flattered. She shook herself out of it. "But you know what I'd really like to see, Steelbeak... darling?" His grin got kind of dopey as she used the endearment, and he shook his head. "I'm just dying to see the Philosophers' Stone."

"Okay," he said dumbly, and laughed. Then, coming out of it a little, he looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know what it is? Where'd ya hear about it?"

She stumbled for an excuse. "Gah, I... I read about it, and there's been some talk about it on the news, and well I just... put two and two together?"

He was silent, and her heart beat wildly. Then he gave her a fond smile. "You're smart. I like that." He pinched the underside of her bill affectionately, and then winked. "We just gotta getcha some new outfits and every man in the city'll know I'm the luckiest guy alive." The comment made her a little disgruntled- after all, she couldn't see anything wrong with the outfit she had on- but she tried not to let it show. He took her arm. "C'mon, I'll show ya the rock."

As he led her upstairs, he commented, "We're sort of stayin' to the basement, but that's not the only part of the building we're usin'. The upstairs is good for workin' at night." She nodded. "If ya want the guided tour later... Just ask." He winked.

The upstairs of the building was unremarkable. The staircase led to a gray hallway, tiled with dirty, flint-coloured linoleum and dimly lit by a flickering fluorescent light. After passing three doors which all looked exactly the same, Steelbeak pulled her into a small room that had a table in the centre and a safe in the corner. He knelt and spun in the combination, and then looked up at Beth and grinned before opening the safe door and taking out the gem inside. He hesitated for a moment, looking uncertain all of a sudden, and then carefully held it out for her to see.

Beth gasped, even though she had seen it earlier. It seemed as though it were glowing more brightly now, although that might have been a trick of the light or even just because she now knew what it was. "So that's the Philosopher's Stone," she said quietly, and reached out to touch it.

Steelbeak drew his hand back. "Sorry, babe, but this is worth a lotta money to me an' I can't take risks with it," he said. She did her best to look crestfallen, which was easy because it wasn't much of an act. It made him flustered. "Hey- hey, look, babe, y'know if it were up to me I'd give the darn thing to ya... But I ain't the one in charge upstairs if ya know what I mean. Heck, I can't even figger out how it works."

Diving for the opportunity, Beth blurted out, "I bet I could make it work!"

He looked surprised, and then, to her immediate discomfort, mildly suspicious. "Do you even know what this is supposed to do?"

"Of course! I told you, I've read about it! It changes baser metals to gold, right? It was what early alchemists searched for in order to create the perfect metal- although that certainly doesn't look like metal, but I'd imagine the look of the stone doesn't necessarily determine the properties of it..."

His suspicious look disappeared, to be replaced with a look of fondness. "You like to talk, don't ya?" he asked, his tone making it clear that he found that endearing. "Yeah, so, you got it. That's what this does- or what it's supposed to do. I can't get it to do anything yet."

"But maybe I could," she tried again.

He looked tempted for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah. I can't take the risk- sorry, sugar, but it'd be puttin' you in jeopardy too. I'll just give it to FOWL High Command when they come to pick me up." He stuck the stone back in the safe, and took her arm. "Want me to show ya that sauna now, babe?"

Beth froze, at a loss for an answer. Obviously she needed to find another way to get the stone, but... A sauna? She gulped- planning ahead was never her strong suit, and frankly she'd never needed to with Darkwing around. Was this the sort of thing he would do- well, barring the fact that Steelbeak would never invite Darkwing into the sauna with him? It seemed like it was. She hoped this would work out okay, because she was really starting to feel in over her head. "Um... Okay?"

Even video games grew tiresome after a few hours, and Gosalyn reluctantly switched off the machine, knowing there wouldn't be much else to occupy her. She sighed, flipped around on the TV for a while, and finally gave up. She prodded Honker's shoulder. "How's it coming, Honk?"

Honker sighed. "Not so well," he answered. "I don't really have enough to work with, even with these notes." He held up a few of the sheets of scribbled symbols that he and Beth had been staring at all night. Gosalyn couldn't make heads or tails of them; frankly, she couldn't even tell which direction was up.

"Uh, wish I could help ya there..." she said half-heartedly.

"I know." Honker sighed. "According to these, Beth has a pretty good idea of what caused the reaction, but she still couldn't figure out the exact formula behind it- and without that, neither of us can figure out an antidote. None of my calculations are an effective inverse of the original!"

The only kind of Inverse Gosalyn knew about was a brand of clothing, so she kept silent.

"The only plus side," Honker went on, "is that from the different examinations over time, the formula seems to be more unstable than we originally thought and looks like it's steadily degrading. So there's actually a good chance that the effects on the brainwaves of those who encounter the pheromones is in direct positive correlation with how much exposure there was to the-"

The transport chairs whirled suddenly, interrupting Honker. Darkwing stood up hurriedly from the chairs, while Launchpad remained seated in the other one. "I'm on my way out," he said, obviously feeling rushed. "Just wanted to check and make sure everything was okay here, and you hadn't snuck out."

Gosalyn cleared her throat. "Uh, nope, we're all still here! All of us! Beth, too!"

"That's good," said Darkwing vaguely.

"But you can't see her!" Gosalyn added frantically. "She's in the bathroom or something- I mean, yeah, the bathroom. Definitely there."

Darkwing looked at her as though she were speaking in tongues. "Uh, good. As long as everything's fine here, I'll be going-"

Something was different here. "Uh, don't you want to see Beth?" Gosalyn asked, puzzled.

Darkwing rolled his eyes. "Not any more than I normally do, if possible," he said exasperatedly. "Is there a point to this, or is this some kind of weird plot to get me to let you come along?"

"But-" Gosalyn was now quite confused, and she and Honker exchanged glances. Launchpad looked just as perplexed. "Isn't she your little love blossom?"

"What?!" Darkwing exclaimed, his face going pink.

Launchpad joined in the conversation. "Yeah, DW, didn't you ask her to marry you this afternoon?"

Darkwing's eyes looked like they were about to fall out of his head by now. "No! I never! What are you all talking about?!"

The other three exchanged looks that clearly all simultaneously said "Uh-oh."

"Then I was right!" Honker said quietly, checking his calculations again to confirm them. "Positively correlated!"

"Obviously everyone here is having a bad day for sanity," Darkwing muttered, still blushing intensely. "Well, tell Beth the engagement is off, if she's as deluded as you all are," he said as he sat back down on the chair. He was in the process of activating the transporters when Gosalyn remembered something.

"Oh no! Dad! Wait!!" He froze and looked at her. "Beth is going to need saving!"

Darkwing quirked an eyebrow at her. "I thought you said she was in the bathroom."

"Well, that was that thing I do that isn't really exactly lying, just kind of... bending the truth a little," Gosalyn said hastily. Before her father could argue with her, she said, "Beth snuck out a while ago to get the Philosopher's Stone from Steelbeak!"

Launchpad gasped. "What? Why??" Then he remembered the earlier part of the conversation they'd had in the kitchen, and what she'd said. A love spell, that affected all the men around her. Finally, he realized what she'd meant, why she'd seemed so worried that DW had proposed, so reassuring about the kiss he'd given her, and especially why she'd feel confident enough to go face Steelbeak on her own. "Uh-oh," he said, out loud this time.

Darkwing, meanwhile, looked put-upon, worried, and extremely angry at the same time. "After all the times I told her not to," he said, and glared at Gosalyn. "You are having a bad influence on her, that's got to be it! I hope you were planning on telling me eventually!!"

"She asked me not to!" said Gosalyn defensively, and then seemed to realize what a dumb excuse that was. "Besides, she had a... sort of a secret weapon, but it turns out that's not going to work now."

Darkwing shook his head. "Well, at least she and Steelbeak are both going to be easy to find," he muttered, and slammed his hand down onto the head of the Basil statue on the centre table. The chairs whirled, and Honker and Gosalyn looked at each other nervously in their wake.