Author Notes: There are implied unwanted sexual advances at the end of the chapter, so if that bothers you, don't read the last section of this chapter.
Chapter 9 – Revelations Zelgadis nervously sipped at his water glass. He wanted to look anywhere but at the girl sitting across from him. She was very pretty… no, Zelgadis had to admit, she was beautiful. And she wasn't Lina.
"So. Amelia," Zelgadis began, knowing full well how strained his introduction sounded. He brought his fingers up to loosen his collar, realized his action, and quickly dropped his hand back into his lap. If only she wasn't sitting there, looking so innocent and cute… Her hair was kept out of her eyes with small, glittering clips, and she was wearing a pale, lavender wool sweater that looked irresistibly soft. Amelia blinked in response, a small smile quirking her lips.
"Yes?"
Zelgadis hated his parents at that moment. After returning from his date with Lina, his parents had assaulted him with reservations at one of the most prestigious and expensive restaurants for the following night, with Amelia Saillune as his guest. The quiet atmosphere was almost too much for Zelgadis to handle. Very faint violin music played in the background, a low murmur of sophisticated voices rose in waves, and wine glasses clinked delicately all around.
It was a perfect evening, but Zelgadis only wanted to be with Lina.
"I'm really sorry, but I think this whole… everything is not what you think it is."
"Um… okay?" Amelia's confusion was very obvious by the expression on her face.
"I mean," Zelgadis said, feeling like an idiot, "I really like you, and this is fun, but it was all set up by my parents. And probably yours."
"Yes, I know," Amelia replied, sounding not the least bit surprised. She looked, if anything, suspicious, as though she were uncertain where Zelgadis was taking this conversation.
"You do?"
"I'm not stupid, Zelgadis. Please don't pretend that I am." Amelia, in spite of her rather naïve appearance, seemed to be rather intelligent.
"I'm sorry. I just thought… well, I know my parents usually don't include me in the loop of things. I assumed you were the same as well."
"I'm not supposed to be 'in the loop of things', either, but I manage." For a moment, uncharacteristic bitterness crept into Amelia's voice. Her face darkened, but for only a moment. She smiled, and it seemed to chase away the shadows. "But I'm curious to what you mean by it now…"
"Well… this whole… thing…" Zelgadis began waving his hands in front of him, trying to manifest his thoughts. Weakly he gestured to Amelia, then himself. "You know… you and I… together…"
Amelia's face was carefully blank. Zelgadis sighed deeply. She obviously wasn't going to help clarify. She was actually going to make him say it. Was she being purposefully difficult, or did she really not know? Damn her… no, wait, damn my parents for setting me up to this… and damn her parents, too… Zelgadis took a deep breath, averted his eyes, and began his speech.
"Maybe you really don't see what's going on, but I've seen through this whole charade right from the start. My parents are always trying to hook me up with one girl or another, and you're awfully convenient for them. My father and your father are working on that business merger, they're obviously going to have to keep close contact… What better way than making their children marry? It's merging both the companies and the families. The fact that you're well-bred, financially secure, and daughter of Saillune is all icing on the cake. I like you, you're a nice enough girl, but I don't abide by this. If I ever marry, it will be for love, and on my own terms. I can't see you as anything more than a friend, I hope you feel the same way. Maybe if we both stand up to our parents, we could… stop…" Zelgadis's words trailed off into silence. He had finally managed to bring his gaze back to Amelia's face, and the look he saw there made his heart plummet.
Amelia had begun to turn a strange shade of red, almost bordering on purple. Her eyes glimmered in the candlelight, and although no tears were shed, they were on the verge.
"Amelia…" Zelgadis began again, concerned. He couldn't tell if she was upset about learning the truth or… or if she just had her heart carelessly broken…
"I'm sorry," she said. Her tremulous voice hardly carried across the table. Zelgadis had to lean forward to catch every word. "I… I've known what they had in mind… I know they want us to marry… and I'm happy for it…"
Unpleasantly unsurprised, Zelgadis sat back up straight in his chair.
"But you hardly know me!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, I know, but… but we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other… Already I… really like you, I like everything about you… I would love to marry you," Amelia's voice began a steady climb to stability. Every word seemed to bring her together. She smiled. "I think I'm in love with you, Zelgadis Graywords, and I can't love you as just a friend."
"Amelia… I don't feel the same way about you. I'm sorry."
"Just give me time! Please, just give me a chance. I know that you'll fall in love me like I have with you! I can feel it, it's so right…" Finally the tears spilled over her cheeks, but they were joyful tears. "Haven't you felt the connection? At the zoo? And every other time we've been together?"
"No, I haven't." Zelgadis fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat. He really, really wanted to get up and leave; however it would be extremely bad form to leave a young lady alone at a fancy restaurant… especially if she was crying, as Amelia was now.
"I promise that I'll make you see how perfect we are," Amelia went on, oblivious to Zelgadis's growing discomfort. "We'll spend more time together, we'll do whatever you want to do. How about tomorrow night we go to the opera? Or maybe something less classy, like taking in a movie at the cinema? I wouldn't mind doing that, it's a bit trivial, but if that's what you want, let's go. Or maybe the art museum?" She stopped abruptly, her eyes glassy, and seemed to wait for a response.
Silence fell across the table like a large furry beast, smothering the conversation and taking up more volume than it was worth. Zelgadis shifted in his seat, ready to stand up and storm out. It angered him to hear the words coming out of Amelia's mouth. They didn't seem phony, they seemed sincerely heartfelt, but it wasn't what Zelgadis wanted to hear. But isn't it the same with Lina? a sick voice cajoled from the back of his mind. You barely know that girl, you've known her almost exactly as long as you've known Amelia… If you can fall in love with Lina, why can't Amelia fall for you?
That's different, Zelgadis's fore-mind tried to argue. Totally different!
It's not, and you know it.
Shut up.
Make me!
"Zelgadis…?" Amelia quietly piped up, interrupting the arguing voices. "You seem so upset…"
"That's because I am," he snapped. "I don't want you to push this marriage issue. I'm not going to marry because my parents tell me to. I'm not their slave to order around."
"Zelgadis, don't say that. Your parents want what's best for you. Your mother told me what happened before… with your first… It wasn't your fault, Zelgadis, and I think you need to put it all behind you. We're all very concerned about your welfare. It's not healthy to keep brooding over the past all the time." Amelia lapsed into silence, waiting for Zelgadis to make his rebuttal so that she could assuage his fears.
The sounds of the restaurant died away until all Zelgadis could hear was the hammering of his own heart. Amelia's words reverberated in his mind, bouncing off long-forgotten memories and purposefully concealed emotions. … mother told me what happened before… with your first… It had been so long, too long, since Zelgadis let himself remember what had happened. It was a memory he wanted to stay buried, and that Amelia thought she could speak of it in such blithely ignorant tones made his blood boil.
"You have no right to talk about that," Zelgadis growled, gritting his teeth. The sounds of the restaurant came back in a rush. The cacophony was nearly deafening.
"See what I mean? It's important that you work through your feelings. I can help you, you just need to give me a chance. Your mother-"
"I don't care what my mother says or does!"
"But Zelgadis, Mika would have wanted you to-"
"Don't you dare tell me what Mika would have wanted! Don't you dare speak her name to me!" Zelgadis bellowed, jumping to his feet. Silence reigned in once again around the table as the other patrons brought their voices from a dull roar to dead quiet. Amelia, looking extremely embarrassed, grabbed Zelgadis's sleeve and tugged it, indicating he should sit down. A small voice of propriety finagled its way into the chaos that was Zelgadis's mind and convinced him to take his seat. Reluctantly he did so and lowered his voice to a harsh whisper.
"Please don't do this-"
"What do you think it's like, Amelia, having to go about every day not thinking about the person you love most in the whole world, beyond life and death and out the other side, because the mere thought of them will bring you to your knees in the sheer agony, the sweltering pain of knowing that you will never see them again? I will tell you what it's like because that is how I must live. Every day is a day without Mika. Every day is a struggle to remember why I should live if she isn't here. Every day is worthless but for what I force it to be. I have had to live with this misery for the past twelve months. For me the pain is still too near. I don't know what my mother told you. Yes, I was engaged once. Yes, I was so in love I could forget everything including my own name. Yes, Mika was robbed and violated and murdered in her own apartment the night of our wedding rehearsal. I can tell by the horrified look on your face that my mother never told you the full story. Well there it is, Amelia Saillune. Take a look at my sad pathetic life and see if you can fix it. I refuse to let go of my pain until it is good and ready to go. Nobody, not you, not my mother, can force me to forget what has happened. Someday I may find someone else to love as much as I loved Mika, and possibly I may wish to marry, but I will not be coerced into."
Zelgadis stood up and stalked away. As the confused waiter approached him, Zelgadis shoved a couple hundred-dollar bills into the wringing hands and mumbled, "Keep the change."
It wasn't until he was standing outside in the fresh evening air that he realized fat tears were rolling down his face.
Amelia stumbled out of the restaurant, blind for the tears in her eyes. She tried to compose herself at the table, tried to ignore the rude stares and the scandalized murmurs, tried to act as though her date hadn't just run off without her. The pain and humiliation were too great, though, and she couldn't take it any longer.
The streets were awash with the heavy rain falling. The air was still humid, still warm, and a fine mist rose from the pavement as the slightly cooler raindrops consummated with the hot ground. Amelia fumbled in her purse for her cell phone, intending to call her chauffeur to pick her up. The sidewalks were clogged with heavy foot traffic, and Amelia was soon caught up in the crowd. No reception, no reception… still no reception… are the batteries dead? Too distraught to notice, she was shuffled away to an unfamiliar part of the city. By the time she realized nothing looked familiar, it was too late to retrace her steps.
Her phone dropped with a loud smack on to the pavement. Biting her lip, furiously wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she knelt down to retrieve it.
Something brushed her shoulder. Something hard pressed into the base of her skull.
"The purse or your life," a voice said.
Amelia froze. This wasn't happening… was it?
The object stayed nestled in her hair but feet, a body, a face came into view. There must be two of them… Amelia thought, numb with fear. How did this happen to her? Wasn't she just standing outside a fancy restaurant in upscale town? The person in front of her took her chin in his fingers and forced her head up.
"Or maybe your body would suffice… she's a real cutie, Harold, what do you think?" the voice was smooth, silky, like chocolate syrup. Violet eyes like gemstones, eerie in the failing light of day, roamed over Amelia's body.
Amelia opened her mouth to scream, took a deep breath, and ended up choking on it as the heavy object against her neck was brutally rammed into her spine.
"Ah, I don't think so, little girl," the man in front of her said. "We don't abide by screaming… at least, not until later, after the fun begins…" He smiled at Harold. It was the same sort of look that feline predators had before they pounced on a helpless baby bird. "Now hand over your purse, that's a good girl, we need to take care of that…" The purse was pried out of Amelia's shaking, stone cold fingers.
"Wha… what are you going to do to me?" she whispered. She looked around, realizing that she had ended up in an alley… and there was no one to hear her…
"Can you tell me who this is?" Shockingly, the man pulled out a crumpled photograph and placed it in Amelia's hands. "I was following a friend of mine, and her companion threw this away… I took it upon myself to see what it was that he didn't want my precious darling to see…" Amelia's eyes nearly popped out of her skull as she stared at the photograph. It was of her and Zelgadis at the zoo…
"Zel-!" she gasped immediately, then squeaked and covered her mouth with her hand as she realized what she had almost done.
"'Zel,' huh? What an unusual name… I want to know what he was doing with my Lina. I saw the two of you enter that restaurant, I saw him leave."
"Who's Lina?" Something was beginning to click. Amelia suddenly remembered the day she had seen Zelgadis in the park on the bridge.
"No, of course, you wouldn't know her… Are you involved with this man?"
"… uh…"
"No, I suppose you wouldn't be, not when Lina's spending all her time with this 'Zel' guy… Well, thank you, doll, for all your help… now it's my turn to repay the favor…" Before she could protest, the man reached over to grabbed her hips and tore at the gossamer skirt covering her legs.
Amelia screamed.