They stood facing one another, staring dumbly. Neither had expected to see the other again in this lifetime. Life takes funny turns.
"Miss Granger. I feel you should know..." He began awkwardly. "It is important that you understand...I haven't been... It's been a very long time since... It was in no way..."
Hermione watched with no small amount of amusement as a surprisingly cowed Severus Snape struggled for words, his normally sallow cheeks tinged with pink.
"Oh, Bollocks! You must be adult enough to understand a man's reaction to the presence of a relatively attractive female. I will not suffer through some tedious explanation of basic human sexuality for your edification."
"Relatively attractive?" Hermione rolled the words around in her mouth. "As back handed compliments go, it's not the worst I've received. Thank you sir."
"Do not take my words for more than they are, Miss Granger. Any female presence after so long could have produced a similar... reaction." He spat out the last word, hiding his embarrassment poorly.
"Are you saying that an embrace from MccGonagall? Or Trelawney?" She bit back a smile. "What about Moaning Myrtle? Ooh or Umbridge??" She pictured each of these, one funnier than the next and could not suppress her laughter. Snape glowered darkly as she succumbed to a fit of giggles.
"That is enough, Miss Granger!"
His sharp tones only produced another whoop of mirth. With an exasperated sigh, Snape, swaying a bit, gestured for her to enter and began to prepare tea.
Swiping a tear from one eye, Hermione took her customary seat, pushing aside a few empty bottles. "I think I needed that, Sir. You should try it sometime."
"Try it sometime?" He echoed. "Miss Granger, I often find humor in the misfortunes of others."
If she didn't know better, she would have accused him of teasing. "I meant laughing. It's almost as good a release as crying..."
He shot her a look.
"And I'm sure you don't do that either." She amended quickly.
His pride temporarily mollified, Snape began to glance about, searchingly.
"You're out of biscuits, but luckily for you, I brought some." Hermione offered the tin with a flourish.
There was a prolonged pause as he served their standard afternoon repast. The fact that it was nearly 3 in the morning had no effect whatsoever on the designated meal.
In the interim, Hermione found herself studying her companion. She fought to disguise her glances as merely casual observation, but in Snape's advanced state of inebriation, he may not have noticed had she been openly gawking.
Despite Hermione's current attitude, the occurrence of a few weeks ago had drastically changed her perspective of Severus Snape. At the time, she had decided it was best never to darken his doorway again. In fact, she had almost succeeded in breaking all ties. Somehow, however, he had managed to stay at the back of her mind. Lying in bed, when she was unable to sleep, she found herself replaying conversations and grimacing at all of the foolish things she had ever said to him.
She simply could not let their association end on that note.
And so, it was the need for the 'last word' that finally sent her stubbornly apparating to his door. She did not even consider the hour. He answered promptly enough to indicate that he held as much regard for sleep as she did.
Now they sat facing one another in a strange mockery of domesticity. A stray thought of Snape in an apron almost lost her to more laughter, but somehow, the levity of the situation seemed to have disappeared. There were a million questions running through her mind and she was terrified of any possible response she might receive.
On the one hand, if he had been reacting to her presence as a female- a 'relatively attractive' one, she reminded herself- and nothing else, they could simply continue as they had ever been. And that was exactly what she wanted, wasn't it? The realization that they were friends had been shocking enough. And yet, on the other hand...
And yet...
A sigh escaped her then and Snape shifted in his seat, suddenly taking great pains not to meet her eyes. Hermione had a feeling she had upset him, but could not fathom exactly how.
She had to break the tension. "I was just thinking that it's such a shame it's gotten so cold so early this year."
When he did finally look at her again, he merely raised both eyebrows.
"Well, I... what?"
"Small talk is the bane of social interaction, Miss Granger."
"I didn't want you to think..."
"Good, I don't want to think. It is rather tiring, isn't it? If you discover the antidote, please, let me know."
Mildly irritated, but relieved by his return to sarcasm, Hermione continued, "I just didn't want you to think that I'm sorry I came back. That's all."
"Even I am not so self-centered as to believe that your every thought revolves around me."
Hermione exhaled noisily. "I realize that. You just looked so... awkward." She regretted the word choice immediately. "That's not what I meant..."
"Perhaps it is. If you are implying that the events of a few weeks ago have left us in a rather precarious position, I will freely agree."
"And that doesn't bother you?"
He snorted lightly "If uncomfortable situations had any effect on me, I'd be long dead, my dear."
Everything about him was casual, almost relaxed. It was only the unfamiliar endearment that struck her. It hinted at a whole new possibility. Severus Snape was sparing with kind words, even more so with affectionate ones. With that small utterance, Hermione suddenly realized she might just be walking a razor's edge. Part of her started screaming to leave now, but something else kept her there, whispering that all she had to do was close her eyes and jump.
TBC