And heeere's chapter two to "Perfection" ... I just thought I'd make another chapter and extend this fanfic a bit more. But this one, of course, is in Shizuru's POV. As for my other fic "Fallen Angel" ... I'm sorry to say, but the next chapter will take longer than expected to be updated. I just started over on it since I didnt like the first one I wrote, but right now I'm really hating writer's block. T.T Hopefully I'll be able to finish it as soon as possible.
Replies to reviews on "Perfection"
FujinoShizuru: Yay! Another fellow Shizuru fan. Heh :) Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope you'll like this one too.
AshwolfX: :Chuckles: Actually, you might get your wish granted soon in chapter 3 or any futher chapters. We'll see.
Sayosi: Ah! I just realized my mistake after re-reading it... but thank you for reminding me though. I'll need to get on that. Sigh that's my second mistake ever since the first one I made on my other fic. ;.; I will have to watch Mai HiME/Otome again, heh. And yes, I agree with you... 'orbs' are kinda cheesy. Fortunately, I wont be using that anymore in my upcoming works.
Dark Elena: That's understandable. I was the same way with Love Hina... always finding every mistake in Love Hina fics, unfortunately I never had the chance to tell the author... ah hell, I'm too nice anyway. XD; And thank you!
Hoppy-Chan: Well, when I came across the word 'unrequited'.. my first thought was 'unanswered' as in Natsuki hasnt admitted it.. but ehh. Now you mention it.. it does seem out of place a bit. Oh well. I'll have to fix that sometime. hm. However, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Btw, I think I know you from the site shoujoai dot com. Your username is Naolin there, isnt it? Dont know if you've seen me around there before, but my user name there is Fujino Shizuru
Solace"N-natsuki… I'm s-so sorry…" A choked sob escaped my throat. My chest felt so heavy…from pain and regret.
"Shizuru."
I plunged deeper into the darkness. Frantically trying to escape this feeling called pain. Something. Or someone was chasing me. I could hear the running footsteps behind me. At times, it would sound like a person running but the metallic sounds screeching behind it made it sound like something that was definitely not human.
"Shizuru..!!" the calling voice became more urgent and worried.
I knew it couldn't be my Kiyohime. I'm not a HiME anymore so he's gone. Forever. The footsteps behind me are starting to push me to the edge of being terrified to the extreme… and those metallic sounds. They became louder and louder with each step I took.
"Natsuki… Please…Let me say my goodbye… I-I don't want to hurt you anymore! I don't! I don't deserve such a gentle friend like you! NOT AFTER WHAT I DID TO YOU THAT NIGHT! How could you not hate me for that!?" I cry out to the darkness, to whoever was chasing me assuming it was Natsuki.
"Natsuki… I'm so sorry…" those words were mumbled through my lips but my eyes remained shut. My lips could taste something wet and salty. It was my tears, they leaked out from my sleeping eyes. My soul desperately tried to escape the dream world, but the attempts were futile.
"Shizuru, please! Wake up!!"
I can see it. My ticket out of this…dark oblivion. My own hell that I brought upon myself. Where I am constantly detained by chains of regret, only to be hidden behind a fake smile. A mask of perfection. A mask which yearns to fall apart to reveal my true side. My true feelings. I come nearer to the escape, the only escape in this looming darkness…My hand reaches out to grab the doorknob. I had thought I made it…but I failed. My hand missed the doorknob and grasped at nothing but air as I fell to the ground. Something cold and metallic fastened around my ankle and dragged me back down further in the darkness. A dim light broke out from the dark, blinding my eyes momentarily.
"You're such a coward," A voice suddenly emerged from somewhere within the darkness, "Why don't you just express your true pain to her already? I'm sick of seeing you like this. It's hurting me too, you know."
"W-who's there!?" I cry out, my voice hoarse from being consumed by fear caused by the chase I had instigated.
"Ara, ara… don't you even realize your own voice? Tsk. Oh of course, you've been too occupied with that girl and hiding your pain, heh…" The amusement could practically be heard within that sentence. It was infuriating to me since I couldn't seen the owner of the damn voice… 'wait a minute… did it just say…' My eyes widen from shock. I couldn't believe my own eyes. I'm staring right at … me?
The person with the annoying voice stepped in the spotlight of the dim light. Locks of chestnut hair was flung back then the hand fell back behind her to intertwine with the other hand behind the person's back. Red eyes met with my own. My own eyes…meeting my own?? 'What the hell is going on.'
"Heehee! I never thought I looked so adorable when I'm bewildered. Beats that smile you always put on," the clone of me smirked smugly. I only could glare and grit my teeth, 'Seriously, this is me…? She's annoying.'
"Aww. We all have our annoying sides," obviously the clone knew what I was saying in my mind, after all she's…me. The fact that I'm staring right at me is still disturbing. Realization then hits me like a ton of bricks crashing upon my head, 'if this person is me… then this thing around my ankle must be…' My eyes wander down to my ankle to find something red and silver with specks of gold wrapped around my ankle, it seemed to be stretched out like a whip but only with some sort of spikes. It was my naginata.
"Whoops. Time's up. Farewell!" I jerk my head up towards the clone of me, wondering what she meant by that. I wondered if I was going to die and fear swept over my body. The clone of me stepped back within the darkness, a sinister smile was seen plastered across her face…then everything started to shake. My vision. The dim light. The ground. They shook violently and my eyelids felt heavy all of sudden. Whatever was in my vision immediately faded to black.
"Please!! Wake up!! You're scaring me!!" A familiar voice cried out, echoing in my ears. Finally capable of fleeing the dream world, my eyes flutter open only to take in the sight of emerald eyes filled with worry, staring into mine.
"Na...tsuki…?"
"Oi, Shizuru… that must have been some nightmare…I heard you crying, I thought something was happening to you." I hear a deep sigh from her but it sounded as if she was relieved that I'm fine.
'Ara…Natsuki is so gentle…' Tears threatened to spill from my eyes but I refused to allow them. Ever since the HiME carnival, every single day, a thought would come to my mind no matter what. The thought regarded the situation between Natsuki and I during the HiME Carnival. I always wondered why she still liked me…even after I violated her that night, after I took her innocence away. If I were in her position, I would loathe me for doing that. But then again, it was said to be the Obsidian Lord's fault for my being becoming awry that night. After all, I did cry in front of Natsuki. Before that, I never dared to cry in front of her but on that night, I couldn't help it. It was like I couldn't control myself and someone else had control over my feelings.
'But still…why does my heart hold this regret and pain? Why…'
"Do you want some tea? I'll make some…" her gentle voice yanked me out of my thoughts. A small smile tugged at my lips as I gazed into her beautiful emerald eyes. I then realized that she was in her Pjs. I remembered last night, we had gone to eat sushi as planned and she ended up staying at my place. She had complained of tremendous fatigue and I insisted that she should stay at my place overnight.
However, there was something strange about her I had noticed yesterday. When I returned to the student council office after attending a meeting with the principal and other members about the resignation of our positions. We had to vote and discuss on who should take our place since half of the council including I were going to graduate this year. When I opened the door, I'd find her in the very same spot that I'd always find her…by the window, gazing out of it at the sky or whatever had seemed to captured her interest. She was in deep thought, I could tell from the glaze in her eyes. Then she asked out of the blue, an intriguing question. I thought it was a bit strange at first, but I started to wonder about what she'd be thinking about all those times in that very room when I was gone. This showed me that my Natsuki could be very considerate and interesting, despite her lone wolf demeanor. One of her traits which made me fall more in love with her. She wanted my opinion on what perfection was. My answer seemed to surprise her slightly, I had noticed that gleam in her eyes and her eyebrows raising up slightly then the small smile appearing across her face.
And now here I was, laying in my bed and gazing into her emerald eyes. I wanted to kiss her, to feel those soft lips on my own and her hands roaming wherever they pleased on my body…but then the regret in my heart would resurface, reminding me of my crime I had done during the HiME carnival, making bile churn in my stomach. Before the carnival, I would let my hands wander around her body just to grab her and embrace her within my arms. Nowadays, every time I reached out to touch her hair or to brush my fingers against her cheek, I would feel the pang of pain stab at my heart causing me to stop halfway and retract my hand back to myself. Tears yearned to fall from my eyes, but I didn't allow them. Instead, I hid it all behind a smile while my heart drowned in them. Like always. I wonder if she had noticed the difference in my actions ever since then… not that I want her to, I'd rather for her not to anyway. While my mind and soul persuaded me to hug her, my heart screamed at me not to. When my desire for her starts to rise, the regret slides into the scene just to suffocate it till it surrendered and fell back within the depths of oblivion.
I shifted my weight around to sit up and gave Natsuki a small smile of gratitude, "No, thank you… but you could always sleep here with me," my small smile then evolved into an impish grin as I watched her face turn red from 0 to 2 seconds. A giggle was issued from throat.
"S…shizuru…"
To my surprise, her tone was soft…the opposite of what I expected it to be. There was something different I saw in her eyes. Not embarrassment. More like tenderness. I was even more surprised when she crawled under the blanket with me and curled up against my body. Her arm slithered it's way around my waist and gave it a soft tug as she pulled me to her. I could not help but blush at the action. A flicker of disbelief and joy flashed by then faded within my eyes.
For the first time in a long time since the carnival, aside all the regret and pain gnawing at me, I feared that whenever I touched her, I would feel my heart nearing the edge just to crumble down to pieces. This time, it was different. It was something I did not expect to happen. The second her arm wrapped around my slender frame and her body's warmth radiating from her to my own body, a comforting sensation rushed through my soul and washed away every feeling that did not belong to this moment. I realized that this was what I've been longing for, even though I did not realize it… it was a moment of solace. Something I really needed right now. A satisfied smile danced across my lips. I laid back down next to her and snuggled up to my blue haired beauty.
Next to me, Natsuki was already fast asleep and a small amount of drool leaking from the corner of her mouth. That sight caused me to giggle once more on this night. It wasn't long before my eyelids grew heavy and finally surrendered to the restraints of slumber. Our bodies became one as we basked in the glow from the moon leaking through the window into my room.
'Yes…this was what I needed after all…one simple touch from her to feel solace.' However, the pain and regret did not fade away. They were merely pushed to the bottom of my heart, waiting for their chance to lurk out once again. Tonight, I did not care. Natsuki was holding me…and that mattered more than anything else in the world to me at that very moment.