Chapter Three

Relapse

Ennis' blood was pumping faster than one of Aguirre's sheep while being pursued by a coyote. Jack's horse had erupted through the woods in an obvious state of panic, and Jack's voice rung through the thick patch of trees, bushes and briars with an obvious call for help. There was no denying that this was a dangerous job, for there were many animals in the mountains that, if angered, could do much harm to an unarmed or unknowing person. Jack was probably one of the two.

Briars scraped across Ennis' clothes and hands. He swiped his way through the woods with no regard to what was in front of him; his mind was hell-bent on getting to Jack. He had only the lost echo of Jack's voice to guide him. Ennis could not recall a time when he was more scared, for himself and for another.

When Ennis erupted out of a thick patch of woods he found the same grizzly that had startled Jack's horse nuzzling Jack's limp body. Jack was unresponsive. The bear had not bit into the young rodeoer, nor had it caused him any harm in any way. For a second Ennis considered waiting, his common sense telling him that the bear was likely to leave Jack lying there as long as he remained limp. But then again, who believed the rural legend that if you stay limp a bear will leave you alone?

Ennis would not have the time to find out, because Jack began to come back into consciousness. Jack opened his eyes and was greeted by the view of a grizzly bear hovering to his side. Jack was utterly startled, and jerked away from the bear in natural response. The bear cocked its head to the side and let out a threatening growl, which sounded more to Jack like a roar.

The next few moments flew by at a fast pace. It started with the bang of Ennis' rifle, and the muffling sound of a bullet digging into the bear's flesh. The large animal stumbled, but recovered and turned to charge at Ennis. Jack jumped up and wildly looked around him for the saddle that had fallen off of the horse, because his gun would be resting in that saddle in its holster. Ennis ran from the bear as he frantically attempted to load another bullet. Ennis circled around in the thick bunch of trees, briars, and branches until he erupted back nearer the creek. Jack was waiting there with his gun ready. Ennis dropped to the ground and Jack fired, the bullet once again hitting the bear. Neither of the shots appeared to be fatal, but after two hits the bear decided it had enough and ran away.

Jack dropped his gun and rushed up to Ennis, who was still lying on the ground, obviously in a state of shock. Surprisingly, when Jack bend over to hug Ennis he was shoved away, shoved away with such force that he was knocked off balance and fell to the ground himself. Ennis rose from his spot and stormed off through the woods back to the campsite; he spoke no words to Jack during his swift exit.

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Jack poked the weak campfire to stir up flames to help cook two pieces of meat. He was preparing his and Ennis' dinner, although Ennis had not spoken a word to him since the bear attack earlier that morning. Ennis was such an unusual person; everything had been going good until what happened earlier that day. Ennis would not speak, he just sat and sipped whisky, occasionally rising to go take a piss or to go down to the river for no apparent reason. He could be mad, or he could have relapsed back into his old ways of behaving, the way he behaved when Jack first met him.

It was no secret between the two that Ennis had gotten comfortable around Jack. Ennis spoke a considerable amount more than he ever had before, and he seemed happier than he did last summer. Jack could only guess that he was happy that they were reunited peacefully (to explain his positive change in behavior) but he had no explanation for why Ennis was so angry at him for the bear attack. It was not Jack's fault, there was no way he could have helped it. Would not the same have happened to Ennis if he were treading up that well-beaten trail instead of Jack?

"Supper's ready," Jack said to Ennis, who was lying in the tent.

Ennis did not reply.

"I said supper's ready," Jack called again as he took his meat off of the cheap wire placed over the fire.

Ennis still did not say a word.

"Ennis!" Jack called, and finally there was a rustling in the tent, followed by Ennis erupting from the tent's closed flaps.

Ennis, as seemed to be his trend for the day, did not speak or look at Jack as he yanked his piece of meat off of the grill. Ennis took his seat by the fire and began to eat. Jack took a seat on the opposite side of the fire.

Jack's eyes never left Ennis' direction, and Ennis' eyes never left his meat. Ennis did not need to look up to notice that Jack's eyes were burning a hole through him, he could feel it. Ennis knew that he was hurting the boy by not speaking to him. Ennis knew that Jack was slowly going crazy not knowing what he was thinking. Ennis also knew, after the debacle that happened earlier that day, that Jack was just as mortal as anyone else. Their surreal attachment that had lasted for so long could be broken just as easily as anything else. Then Ennis would be alone, again. That was not a notion that Ennis was ready to face. His solution was the same that had gotten him through the years without a mother, a father, or a true family that really cared for him: silence.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jack finally said, "You have no fucking reason to be ignoring the way that you are."

"I'm not ignoring you," Ennis said plainly.

"Bullshit," Jack stood from his spot and glared at Ennis, who still did not look at him, "you've been acting like an ass since this morning. Do you want an apology for it? Then fine! I'm sorry, is that it?"

Ennis sighed heavily as he finished his food. He rose from his seat and grabbed his open whisky bottle.

"Don't fucking drink, I'm trying to talk to you!" Jack protested.

Ennis did not reply as he took a swig of whisky.

Jack shook his head and walked up to Ennis. He snatched the whisky bottle out of his hand and tossed it into the fire, the glass breaking and flames rising as it engulfed the alcohol. Jack did not have the time to look back at Ennis before a fist collided with his jaw, sending him flying straight to the ground.

"What the fuck was that for!?" Ennis yelled, "That was the last of our liquor until the end of the week!"

Jack rose from his spot on the ground and immediately charged at Ennis. He leaned forward and tackled Ennis to the ground. For the next few moments the two engaged in a furious, but oddly intimate, fight that ended only when Ennis slammed Jack up against a tree and began to take another blow at the boy, but lowered his fist and charged off instead. He saddled up on his horse and wasted no time in charging up the trail up the mountain, back to spend the night with the sheep.

Jack rubbed his face. Ennis had gotten in a good blow to his jaw, which would lead to a large bruise by morning. Jack fought back tears of frustration as he collapsed inside of the tent to sleep. He was in the same position that Ennis feared so much of being in, again: alone.

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The next morning, Ennis sat just outside of the small sleeping tent placed up near the sheep's main stomping ground. They were all huddled about a hundred yards away, leaving Ennis with little more to do than watch and wait for a brave coyote to show his face.

On a normal day, he would have almost immediately headed back down to the campsite to visit Jack. Truthfully, that was all he wanted to do, to go home to eat what Jack had cooked. To drink for a moment and then have sex, then listen to Jack talk until it was time to go back up with sheep. He liked to listen to Jack talk, the boy never ran out of things to say. There were very few things Ennis did not like about Jack.

One being that never listened, at least when it came to something he already thought he knew everything about. If Jack had only tied the saddle on the horse like Ennis had recommended, then he may not have been thrown off, which would mean he would not have come so close to dying. Ennis could deal with death, that was not a problem, but he did not know how he would manage if Jack were to be the one to die. A life without Jack by his side was livable, but a life without the possibility of seeing Jack again was not. The later option represented only one thing for Ennis: to be truly alone, the kind of alone he was before he met Jack.

Once he had tasted the boy, been so intimate with him, he could not bear the fact of never seeing him again.

So, to cope with the now prevalent possibility of loosing Jack, Ennis subconsciously did the only thing he knew how to do. He shut himself off. Deep inside, he did not want to keep Jack out, but then again something was keeping him from telling Jack what was wrong with him. It was an internal struggle between a plea for help and a keeping of silence that Ennis could not work through.

The saddest part: not one coyote showed its face to keep Ennis' mind off of his internal struggle. So, with a busy head he rose from his spot and readied his horse for the ride back to the campsite.

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The next week passed by in a painfully repetitive form. Jack and Ennis no longer took shifts, for Ennis refused to stay at the campsite for more than an hour at a time. He was always up in the mountain; he always tried too hard to keep away from Jack. After the first week of this behavior, Jack decided to take matters into his own hands.

Jack saddled up on his horse late one night, taking nothing more than a flashlight, and made his way up the trail up the mountain. He tied his horse off about an eighth of a mile away from the small sleeping tent Ennis was asleep in. He crept up to the tent and removed the stakes that kept it from flying away in the wind. Then he abruptly ripped the tent out of the ground, tossing the top of it to the side.

Ennis jerked awake and sat up, his blurry vision focusing to see Jack standing in front of him. Jack straddled Ennis lap and pinned him back down onto the ground. Ennis began to say something but Jack put a finger over his mouth.

"Don't say a word, just listen," Jack began, "I know that something's bothering you, but I know you're not going to tell me what it is. I'm here right now to make sure you know that I still need you, whether or not you need me."

Jack removed his finger from Ennis' lips.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ennis questioned, "It's freezing out here!" Jack had ripped away his cover from the outside, and the cold mountain night was beginning to get to him.

"Don't worry about the cold," Jack slipped his hands down Ennis' torso.

It was as if Jack had flipped a switch inside of Ennis. In a fraction of a second Ennis had flipped Jack over onto his stomach. He gripped the boys hips yanked the boy so that he arched his butt a bit farther up. Ennis quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans as Jack did the same thing.

"Come on, Ennis," Jack beckoned in voice even more longing than that of their first night together.

Ennis pulled out his now erect cock and in a few short moments was inside of Jack, a rush of ecstasy overtook them that they had not felt since before their fight over a week earlier. Jack bit his lower lip and arched his back, moaning Ennis' name in such a way that it made Ennis pound harder into him. One of Ennis' hands was pumping Jack's cock; the other was tangled in Jack's short hair. Jack, on the other hand, was gripping the grass underneath him, his knees scraping the ground back and forth as Ennis fucked him from behind.

In a mix of moans and grunts the two made love with more passion than they had in the month and a half they had been back up on Brokeback. Jack felt as though he and Ennis were right once more, and Ennis felt as though he was back where he was supposed to be with the boy who was, at the time, moaning his name along with other sexual taunts to make Ennis go harder until he finally came.

The two were soon lying on the cold grass, both panting and staring each other in the eyes. Ennis grabbed the blanket Jack had thrown off of him, and Jack grabbed the tent tarp he had taken off of its stand. They had not the energy, nor the will, to put the tent back up that night. Ennis merely wrapped the blanket around both of them, and Jack did the same with tarp over the blanket, and the two began to kiss. They fell asleep in each other's arms, their naked bodies touching wherever possible.