Sorry, still not JKR but this is still femmeslash, so if you don't like, don't read.

Big huge thank-yous to everyone that reviewed! Again, if you have any reaction to, thoughts or comments on this story/chapter please feel free to let me know! all comments except flames welcome!

It's late so please forgive the crappy-ness of this chapter, I just needed to write.

Chapter two – An admission too late

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"There are moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes... they're not. Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are." - Whistler - Becoming Part 1 (Courtesy of Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

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My god I was so nervous walking up to the coffee shop in Diagon Ally, 10 minutes early of course, you NEVER keep Hermione waiting! She was actually already there, but something wasn't right……………she had her cappuccino and her paper, but she looked…..forlorn.. She was wearing a blue hoodie, no make up, hair scrunched back in a ponytail, more beautiful than ever in my eyes but sad. Oh god, what was she going to tell me? Had her boyfriend broken up with her? Was she sick? Had something happened to her parents? All this was spinning in my head as I walked in and hugged her with a smile. She hugged me so tight, it felt wonderful, I know she missed me. Tears were welling in her eyes.

"Hi babe", I said as casually as I could

"Hi", she just said back with a teary smile

After that we just stood there for a good 30 seconds, just looking at each other, basking in the other's presence till we took our seats. God it was so good to see her. I was right, I still love her, everything was rushing back to me. God I want her to hug me like that again!

"Refill?" I asked

"No ta, I've only been here a minute or two. It's really good to see you Ginny, I've missed you so much"

Wow! Maybe I was having the impact I wanted!

"Oh I've missed you too Hermione" I said as I pulled my chair closer to her and gave her another hug. What happened next was totally unexpected, as we stopped hugging she grabbed hold of my hand and gave it a little squeeze and didn't let it go for the rest of the conversation! She was welling up again now

"Aww are you ok?"

She was full on crying now, and not tears of joy at seeing an old friend again. I was panicked

"Hermione what's wrong?"

"My dad passed away last Thursday"

My heart bled for this woman.

"Oh god sweetie I'm so sorry, how'd it happen?" I offered her a tissue

"He had cancer; it had been on the cards for a while. I think he was ……prepared for it you know" she said while wiping her face. Oh 'Mione, why didn't you tell me before…….

"Is there anything I can do, anything you need", she grabbed my hand a little tighter

"No, thank you, I just needed to talk to someone, I needed to tell you. I'm sorry I couldn't call you with better news"

"It's fine, really, it's just I'm always here, you know that"

"I know, that's why I called you. I knew you'd be there for me. I have a favour to ask you actually"

"Anything"

"Will you come to the funeral with me?"

"Of course I will"

"Thank you Ginny"

I felt so bad for her. This angel, this absolute vision in front of me was in pain and I couldn't stand it.

The rest of the conversation was odd, not uncomfortable or uneasy, just full of sorrow, even if we were cracking bad jokes. We sat there for hours and must have had about three cups of coffee each before we figured we should go somewhere else, so we flewed back to my little flat on the east side of London.

Now I know what you're thinking, a vulnerable Hermione, a whole day spent together catching up and reminiscing, maybe some wine, dimmed lights……her staying the night………and yes while there was all that, I wasn't going to take advantage. Believe me I wanted too. My whole being was screaming JUST KISS HER but I couldn't, not like that. This is the woman I love remember, so I just held her, even when she came in my room saying she couldn't sleep and curled up next to me in my double bed, all I did was hold her as she fell asleep.

The next morning wasn't bizarre either; it felt so right to me to wake up next to her, watch her sleep for a while before I put on some coffee. We spent much of that day talking too, she had so much she needed to get off her chest and I was only too happy to lend a sympathetic ear. In that day I felt we were closer than we had ever been before, and then she said it………….

"Ginny can I tell you something?" The way she said it was odd. We'd been talking completely openly and frankly for over twenty-four hours now, why would she feel she had to hold something back!

"Sure, what's on your mind"

"stuff about us"

Us? She said US! Whoa what's going on here! Ok, breathe Ginny, just breathe, she doesn't mean anything by it, she's straight.

"Yeah of course, what do you want to tell me"

"Well actually it's more of a question, when you, you know, liked me at school…"

O.M.G!

"….i guess I just wanted to know how you really felt. I mean we've been sat here for hours and waxed lyrical over everything under sun except that. I mean you were always so guarded at school"

I was so mixed up by this. Why is she asking this now? What difference could it make how I felt about her four years ago! And guarded? Of course I was you idiot! I couldn't risk a single word of it getting back to the parents! Here we go, time to revive that ol' stock best friend response, which I'm so practised at I know it back and forth, sideways and in Russian.

"I dunno Hermione, that was a long time ago now, I think it was just a stupid crush"

"Stupid?"

"Well yeah, cos you're straight, what's the point in having a crush on someone you could never actually be with."

"You could've been with me"

I swear to God my heart stopped in that minute! Here was Hermione Granger, quite possibly the love of my young life, sitting on my couch in her baggy pjs, drinking my coffee saying that I once had a shot with her. Despite all her tears over the last day and a half it was now me that was welling up with emotion. How the hell did I miss that when I was staring at and obsessing over her for years!

No, this is just more of her shit at my expense. She just likes having me around cos I'm her lapdog. She says jump and I automatically start leaping like a mad woman. All she ever liked was the idea of me, that if she ever fancied a bit of lesbian sex she could call me. Is that what this is? My mind was going a million miles a minute trying to process all this new information, my face was getting hot and I was starting to feel dizzy to. I had to snap myself out of it before she noticed. My next response was typically stupid, what else could I say?

"Could've? What do you mean by that?"

"I dunno, it was silly, forget I ever said anything"

she tried to fob it off with one of THOSE smiles of hers as she put her mug down on the coffee table. I had no response to that. Things were going round in my head so fast I couldn't really think of anything, all I could feel was my heartbeat like a jackhammer in my chest.

"Hermione, do you like me?"

"Of course I like you" she said with a perplexed look on her face

"No I mean do you like me" I said, this seemed to make something click or a bell to ring in her head.

"I think I did. Looking back on it now, and seeing you again, how much you've changed, how much more confident you are in yourself. It's just brought some old stuff up I guess. God I don't even know why I'm saying this" she stopped and just started to nervously touch her head a lot, smiling awkward smiles. I couldn't deal with this, not now. I need air. She must've seen all the things going on in my head on my face. I was starting to feel sick.

"Gin are you ok?"

Of all the stupid things to say right now…am I ok? AM I OK! God she can be such a fuck-wit sometimes!

"Yeah, I just need some air, and I gotta be at work at 6…."

Total bollocks of course, I just needed to think on my own. And possibly cry a bit too.

"and I'm sure your mum needs you for, you know stuff. I mean I'll stay if you need me………"

She must have got the message cos she just got up, smiled and hugged me then went to the bedroom to change. I made a bee-line for the balcony and threw the windows open and leaned over the edge, trying to breathe and stop the onset of tears. I couldn't let her think she hurt me this soon after losing her dad. When I'd been standing there for ten minutes I figured something was up, why hadn't she come out to say bye? I walked over to my room and knocked on the door

"Hermione?"

No reply

"Hermione are you in there?"

Again there was no answer so I gently opened the door and stepped inside. She wasn't there. There was a fresh mark at the fireplace, she'd flewed out. Without even saying goodbye.

There was however a note on the bed……….

He he! i really didn't think i'd leave this on a cliffhanger as well but i thnk it works - chapter three soon i'm sure