Chapter Eighteen: Oklahoma is O.K.

Disclaimer: The part about the tissues belongs to Terry Pratchett. Oh yeah, and the Outsiders belong to S.E. Hinton and the U of C is…just there. I own everything and everybody else. Okay, on with the show!

Two-Bit was sitting at his desk before class, flipping his switchblade open and closed. For some reason, it no longer glowed whenever he touched it.

Somebody whapped him on the back of the head with the flat of their hand. Two-Bit dropped his mercifully closed switchblade and swore. "What was that for?" he roared.

"Watch your language," Carmen said. Two-Bit turned to her to make a wise remark, but thought better of it when he saw her face.

"What's up?" he asked concernedly. "And what'd you hit me for?"

"Nothing's up, and you should know better than to play with knives in school," she reprimanded, but Two-Bit wasn't buying it. Something was wrong.

"Carmen," he said warningly. She ignored him and instead picked up his switchblade from where it had fallen on the floor and handed it to him.

"Don't make me have to use this on you," he threatened. Carmen rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut.

"Carmen," Two-Bit started again, but the bell rang and class started. Ms. Wilson gave him a death glare from the front of the class, and, for once, Two-Bit shut up.

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Carmen was annoyed. She was also getting homesick again, and that made her even more annoyed. It was hard for people when Carmen was annoyed. It was like being attacked with damp tissue.

Carmen had been away from Lilanazar for so long, she hardly even thought about it anymore. She liked Oklahoma just fine. As the license plates advertised, Oklahoma was O.K. She liked it even more for the simple fact that Two-Bit was here.

But ever since she had been there and back, even in the dark, she couldn't stop thinking about it. It was like a drug. Just when she thought she was over her addiction, it was introduced to her again.

She was annoyed because just this morning, she had woken up, stretched, and looked out the window to see Russell crawling through the grass on his elbows, like a soldier keeping low lest he be shot, towards the front door.

Carmen had made a direct hit with a well-executed spell and sent him flying, but she wondered why Mordred didn't just come barging in himself and kill her. That was more his style than to make his apprentice appear to be under the incorrect impression that he was dodging bullets in middle of a war in the jungles of a far-off land known to most around here as Nam.

She just couldn't figure it out. It was inexplicable. She and her mother had been able to see through all his other plans and defeat him…well, she didn't have her mother to do any deciphering this time.

Then there was Two-Bit performing that spell on what's-his-name. Sean? Sam? Steve. That was it. He did the dumbest things sometimes. Carmen often despaired of him as a Homo sapien, and the way he acted sometimes she wasn't sure if he was even that or just a monkey with opposable thumbs in a leather jacket.

Despite all that, though, she liked him anyway. He was one of the few people you could rely on. He was genuine, and, as Carmen knew all too well, that was a trait that didn't come up too often.

She was so lost in thought during class, not about Trigonometry but about Russell's guerilla attempt this morning, that she didn't even notice when the bell rang. Two-Bit nudged her, poked her, shouted at her and ended up hitting her very hard on the head with his notebook until she finally responded.

"Ow!" she yelped just as Two-Bit was reaching for his Trigonometry book. Carmen eyed the five-pound volume warily. "You're not still gonna hit me with that, are you?"

"No, but I ought to," Two-Bit muttered. In the hallway, he rested his arm on her shoulder. "You okay?" he asked.

Carmen gave in and explained the situation that had occurred that morning.

"I'll kill him," Two-Bit growled menacingly.

"No need. He's somewhere in Kansas by now," Carmen assured him.

"Why Kansas?" Two-Bit asked, his brow wrinkling with confusion.

Carmen shrugged. "It was the first place that came to mind," she admitted sheepishly.

"That's not too far. He'll be back soon," Two-Bit said. "And then we'll be ready for him."

"Not that soon," Carmen said, a smile spreading across her face without her consent.

Two-Bit saw that smile before she could hide it. Realization dawned. "Oh, no, Carmen, you didn't," he groaned.

"I did," Carmen said, feeling quite pleased with herself.

Two-Bit leaned in conspiratorially. "So, what'd you do?" he whispered.

Carmen rolled her eyes. "Nothing too extreme," she said casually. "I sent him to Kansas…in 1847."

Two-Bit's jaw dropped. "What the hell were you—? How did you do that?" he exclaimed.

Carmen smirked and shrugged so that his arm slipped off his shoulder. "That's for me to know, and you to find out," she said coolly, ducking into class before he could stop her.

"I'll find out from you, though, right?" he hollered after her.

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This is so typical, Russell thought. Another damn protection. Damn that chick.

One moment, he had been in Oklahoma trying to get to Carmen's front door using his elbows for the function that his feet were normally reserved for, as per Mordred's instructions, to avoid any spells that might have been set.

A lot of good that did me, Russell griped to himself. He had no idea where he was, only that where he was included a lot of cornfields and a hick who was walking towards him.

"Well, hello, there," he drawled. "How can I help you, son?"

"Uh, where am I?" Russell asked slowly.

"Yer in Sacred, Kansas, population 38," the farmer said proudly. "Ah don't thank Ah've seen you in these here parts before. You from 'round here? Yer accent sounds strange t'mah ear."

Once again, Russell reflected on exactly how much he hated Carmen for getting him into situations like this.

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My god, it's been so long. I hope this wasn't too cheesy (probably was) but I wanted to update. Jeez, over a month. Review, please!