Still not mine, I'm just playing in Jo's world for a while.
Hey guys, sorry I didn't update sooner, my writing has had to take a back seat to schoolwork for a while, but I'm back now so, here's a slightly longer chapter! I hope you enjoy!
Oh, and to all my reviewers, thank you so much! I really love reading all your comments!
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"Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it" Spike, BTVS Lover's Walk, owned etc by Joss Whedon
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"Whoa" said Hermione
"Yeah" – most lame response ever I know, but hey what else was I supposed to say!
"That was"
"Yeah" – Ok, Gin, say something else! Anything else
"let's go upstairs okay?"
Upstairs????!!!!!! That's promising!
"Sure" – stop smiling like a maniac! Stop smiling like a maniac!
She obviously got what I was thinking cos she gave me this look that just said 'yeah right' and walked out. I followed her up the stairs, very much enjoying the view of her fabulous arse, and into our room. Wow, it never sounded like that before, OUR room. Am i getting ahead of myself here? I mean it was just a kiss right? Oh no, she's not bringing me up here to 'let me down easy' is she. So many questions!
We sat cross-legged together on the bed.
"Ginny? You okay?" – okay I've been thinking to long
"Yeah I'm fine, you okay?"
"I think so. That was weird"
"Weird?" - here we go, time for the "Ginny it was nice but…….." speech
"Good weird. In all honesty I'm glad you did that"
"Really?"
"Yeah, truth be told I was gonna try and get out of it"
"Why? It's only me!"
"That's why I was so nervous. If I'd kissed some random at school or something it wouldn't have mattered if I was bad or not."
"You were perfect"- trust me folks, she really was
The smile she gave me after that was truly the most beautiful thing I have seen in my young life. She was so happy, and I was the cause of that.
And then she kissed me again. SHE kissed ME! Because she wanted to. She wants me. This is the single greatest moment of my life.
"Aww Ginny! Don't cry!"
shit!
"I'm not!" I'm such a bad liar
"Yes you are! Oh my god!"
"I'm sorry! I'm just really happy"
"Wanna hear a secret?"
"Yeah!"
"Me too"
She always makes me laugh
"So what does this mean for us" I asked, a million butterflies in my stomach
"Us?"
"well yeah, do you wanna start dating? Keep hanging out and see how things go? Forget it completely?" – I was so hoping it wouldn't be the last one
She didn't say anything. She looked like she was thinking.
"Let's just see how things go for now okay. And don't tell anyone okay"
"Uh"
"Please Ginny. People already have enough excuses to avoid me like the plague and I need to figure out what this means for me. My head is just completely spun around right now."
"You're right, we should just see how things go between us. I won't tell anyone, I promise. I know exactly how that feels. Believe me"
"Thanks Ginny"
She leaned in and gave me another kiss then left. It felt as good as the first. I could seriously get used to it. I hope she can too. I feel sorry for her going through this now, but at least I can help her. Maybe being with someone will help her figure it out one way or another. The only thing I know is that this summer is going to be fantastic.
9/1/06
So my sixth year has started. Hermione and I are officially dating! We still haven't told anyone and I was freaked for quite a while, things still hadn't 'clicked' in my head as to whether or not I was completely gay, I mean, things are great but we haven't, uh, you know, yet. We've done, stuff but she's not ready yet. Which is fine, I mean I wasn't going to pressure her or anything, as much as I wanted to, it had to be on her terms.
I have the room of requirement ready whenever she is. It looks really good actually, covered with candles, all decorated in a beautiful deep red and the most comfortable bed I've ever known. It has a kind of aura to it as well that I can't describe, a smell, not quite fresh flowers, not quite the smell of a bathroom after a using gorgeous smelling bubble bath, just warm and inviting and intoxicating. And that was without her! Damn if I ever even get to stand in this room with her I think I'll explode! But one step at a time right. I think it's time to tell people, I'm going to ask her after transfiguration class.
I ran into her, literally, as she came out of Arithmancy.
"Hi" I blurted out, remembering not to kiss her, even though I wanted to. Badly.
"Hi" she said back with a smile and pushing her hair behind her ear, she looks so cute when she's flustered!
"I wanted to ask you about something"
"Okay"
"Let's go for a walk" I said as casually as I could
"Okay, we'll go round the black lake"
"Great, I'll meet you in 20 minutes outside the great hall"
"Great, see you then"
As I changed to go to meet her a hundred different things were rushing through my head. How should I say it? How will she react, I haven't brought it up before because I assumed she was uncomfortable with the idea after what she said the first day we kissed. It is a huge, scary, life changing step, but I love her so much I don't want to have to hide. I want to scream how much I love her from the highest tower in Hogwarts, and say tell her everyday that I care no matter who's listening in. If she's not ready that's fine but I should at least ask her,
We met and we walked in silence for a while. I was trying to find the confidence to ask her. We got to the little cove under the willow tree as the sun set. It was a gorgeous night. I stopped walking and started talking.
"Um, so Hermione, I wanted to ask you something"
"Ah, okay."
"Well we've been doing ………..this, for a while now, and I wanted to ask you something"
"You want to know when I'll sleep with you?"
"Oh no!, that ball is completely no your court, you know I'd never push you into that ,I just wanted to ask how you'd feel about maybe telling a few people"
"You haven't told anyone have you?!"
The way she said this told me her answer would most likely be a resounding no.
"No, of course not, that's why I'm asking you now. It's just, I really feel that this could be something amazing, and if we are to be together than it would be so much easier if people knew. But I'm happy to keep doing whatever it is we're doing if that's what you want"
She didn't say anything for a moment or two after that. I think she thinks this is a test. Maybe it is. I'm just so tired of the sneaking around, of the stolen kisses that make us feel that what we're doing is wrong when it's not.
"Ok"
Wow
"Excuse me, did you just 'Okay' my idea of telling people we're going out?!"
"Oh dear lord I think I did!"
I love this woman so much.
"So we'll do it. We'll tell people?"
"Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind!"
I happily obliged.
"Wow, I, just can't believe this is happening. How do you want to tell them. Should we just pull Harry and Ron aside later, or should we wait till Christmas when we can tell everyone together?" I need to shut up and let her talk now.
"yeah, uh, let's tell Harry and Ron tomorrow at breakfast. We'll do the 'official coming out' thing for our families at Christmas. Till then it'll be on a need to know basis. That sound good"
"Sounds amazing" I said. Hesitatingly I added "We should head back now, dinner's probably being served right about now"
I was starved, we must've walked 2 or 3 miles around the lake.
"Ginny, there's actually something I wanted to say to you, while we're alone"
"Yeah"
"Yeah. Okay, here goes. I love you"
"You?"
"I love you. Completely. And I realised it just now, when you said all those wonderful things. So what if a few people have a problem with it. The point is that this is amazing, and you make me incredibly happy"
"I love you too 'Mione"
My heart and head felt so light I thought I might pass out there and then, until she kissed me and took my hand in hers and walked me back to the castle.