Doc's Note: Here's the next installment. The title of this chapter refers to how the hospital staff notes that their job environment is a lot like high school. The song's by Bowling for Soup. Updates are probably going to come once a day, unless I'm inspired by something.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. I do, however, own the Poptart I'm eating right now. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing.

"What happened, Mere, you fall in?" Despite the fact that she could hear Cristina hovering just outside her locked stall Meredith heard her voice as if from very far away. "You okay?" She managed nothing more then a series of incoherent muttering. Meredith could vaguely hear conversation between Izzie and Cristina, but just barely. And their words were making no sense. This entire situation was making no sense. And she felt like she was going to puke again. Rocking back and forth on a toilet was not exactly a good coping mechanism when you had morning sickness. Sliding herself down the wall of the stall Meredith eased into a seated position on the floor, arms locked around her knees.

"Okay, Meredith, that floor is probably filthy. Come on, we know you're not pregnant." Izzie must have been very close. In fact, she sounded like she was above her. Tilting her head back, Meredith found the source of Izzie's voice. She was leaning over the wall of the neighboring stall, probably standing on a toilet. Meredith simply took a deep, calming breath, which did nothing more then make her bury her face in her arms. "Okay. What's wrong with you?"

Wordlessly Meredith kicked at something, sending it sliding on the floor out into the main bathroom. She heard Izzie hop down from her perch, heard Cristina's slow intake of breath, heard a series of swearing when Cristina found the thing first. There, sitting in the middle of the women's bathroom, was the pregnancy test, the positive pregnancy test. "Oh. My. God."

The scuffling of shoes indicated Izzie's arrival at the test. "What?" A sort of squeal hinted that Izzie had indeed seen the results. "Seriously?"

Cristina bent down to retrieve the package. Mind you, besides this action, all Meredith could see was the movement of her friends' shoes and hear their voices. "99.9 accurate." Meredith groaned. There goes the theory that the test was just wrong. "Here, give me that." Another pregnancy test skidded to a stop at Meredith's feet. She blinked.

"Hey, you never know. You could be .1!"

Twenty minutes and two more pregnancy tests later, she was convinced that she definitely was not .1. "Are you sure you don't just have a growth in your stomach?" Izzie asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. Meredith had moved on from the denial stage and pushed the door of her stall open a little harder then she would've liked. Her eyes were narrowed and her nostrils seemed to flare slightly.

"I do not have a growth, Izzie. I'm pregnant!" Meredith began pacing. "How did this happen?" Izzie hung back, leaning against the sinks. She supposed Cristina might have a better chance at this then she did. After all, Cristina could be a bitch when she wanted to. She could totally out-bitch pregnant Meredith. Cristina turned away from the mirror and tilted her head slightly to one side. She cast Meredith a wary glance as she turned on her heel and began pacing in the opposite direction. She was practically speed walking across the bathroom.

"Well generally to make a baby you need a man and a woman..." This simple statement caught Meredith's attention and she about faced to glare at her. Cristina looked momentarily taken aback, simply because of the glare-and-frown combination Meredith was wearing. Sweet, adorable, dirty mistress Meredith did not glare-and-frown, especially not at her best friend. "Look, I know you're freaking out right now but don't take it out on me. Or Izzie. We're only trying to help you, if you'll let us anyway." Cristina matched Meredith's glare with her own. Nobody, not even a pissed off Meredith, could out-glare Cristina Yang.

"Sorry," Meredith sputtered feebly, resting her weight back against the wall and slowly banging her head back against it. At the risk of having Izzie giving a triumphant 'I told you so!' she simply rubbed her temples and mumbled, "Mood swings." Izzie didn't comment. No one even moved. Cristina muttered a 'yeah' and she could've sworn she'd seen Izzie nod. Why? She didn't know. Maybe she'd imagined it. After all, her head was throbbing painfully, though if that was from pregnancy or from banging her head into the wall was debatable.

"You realize this makes two of us." Meredith cast Izzie a glance. Cristina was talking, but she wasn't making sense. Or maybe she just wasn't listening. No, there was definitely a bemused look on Izzie's face too. "I mean two of us sleeping with Attendings and two of us got pregnant. Maybe this is God's way of telling us this is wrong."

There was a long pause in which Meredith stared at herself in the mirror. She looked paler then usual, and the frown she was wearing seemed permanent. Was it her, or did these scrubs make her look fat? She caught sight of Izzie's reflection in the mirror and paused, brow furrowing slightly. Izzie seemed very interested in her shoelaces. And she hadn't said anything in a while, either. That was so not Izzie. Meredith wondered what she was thinking, and debated asking her if she was okay. When she opened her mouth to speak, though, she found herself cut off by Izzie. "Or that you two should really learn to use condoms."

"Seriously, Izzie?" Cristina muttered. "Condoms break. Especially when you're having really good sex. Hot sex. In the on-call room." She was wearing a satisfied sort of smirk and was eyeing Meredith with a wry smile.

"Don't look at me," Meredith answered dully. "We're too sophisticated for that kind of thing anymore."

"So are you going to tell Mark about it now or-" Meredith's gaze flicked to Izzie. She didn't even finish her sentence but trailed off into nothingness at the look of pure shock on her face. "Did I say something wrong?" Cristina shrugged in response. Meredith seemed to have just realized something, and judging by the slightly shocked expression on her face that thing wasn't exactly good.

"How far along am I?" The two shared glances.

"Generally that's something we, the doctors," Cristina gestured to herself and Izzie, "would be asking you, the patient. So, how far along are you?" Meredith glared at her.

"If I knew that I wouldn't be asking, would I?" Meredith jammed her eyes shut. She hoped she wasn't more than four weeks along. She really hoped she wasn't. Because if she was...well then there were some issues. You know the Montel Williams Show once every couple of months when a mother and her baby come on with two men asking 'who's your daddy?' Well, if she was more then four weeks pregnant Izzie and Cristina might as well sign her, Mark, and Derek up for DNA tests. Seriously.

"I'm going to be a terrible mother." That was rather random to Cristina and Izzie, who were just beginning to piece together the last bits of the puzzle that was Meredith's life. That wasn't important now, though, because Meredith was literally having a nervous breakdown. "I can't do this. How am I going to be a mother? I mean my mother wasn't exactly the best role model. She was a surgeon. She was never around when I needed her. Oh, God. That's going to be me in nine or less months. I'm turning into my mother!" Meredith turned her back on them, resting her forehead against the cool wall. She probably would've begun slamming her head into the wall again had it not been for the hand on her shoulder. Casting a sideways glance backward she found Izzie.

"Look, Meredith, I know this was an accident and it's not the best time for a baby and all, but you'll make a great mom." Meredith stared at her. Izzie was always the supportive one. You could tell if she was lying or not if she made eye contact. And this time she was staring her right in the eye. "You're kind and caring. And you know you won't have to raise the baby alone. We'll be here." Cristina had appeared on her other side.

"And you know, you have options if you...want to pursue options." Izzie cast Cristina a glance. "And if you need me to be, I could be your person." Meredith sighed heavily. This was too much for her mind to digest so early in the morning. She was having a baby, Izzie was right, Cristina was being supportive, and, oh yeah, she was having a baby. She moved away to splash some cold water on her face, staring at her friends over her shoulder. Izzie was whispering something in a hushed voice. Cristina was waving her off. When Meredith turned around, though, they both fell silent, looking in opposite directions. Meredith eyed them for a moment before grabbing some paper towels.

"So I should probably make an appointment to figure out when my due date it..." Meredith felt herself smirking awkwardly. "That sounds really weird."

"Give it a few hours," Cristina insisted. "You'll get used to it."

"Just make sure you get an appointment with someone in a different hospital. Wouldn't want Addison looking up your-" The door burst open and who was to walk in but Addison Montgomery? Izzie trailed off lamely just as Addison turned to stare at her.

"You know, Doctor Stevens, if you're talking about someone and they walk into the room it's best to keep talking. Otherwise they'll know you were talking about them." Izzie stared blankly at Addison as Meredith smirked at her. She and Cristina slipped out of the room unnoticed, leaving a bemused Izzie to deal with the situation on her own.

GA

By that afternoon Meredith had no doubt in her mind that she definitely was pregnant. The fact that after eating breakfast, lunch, and two snacks in between and she was still hungry was only part of it. Besides that, she was more tired then usual, her moods were all over the place, and apparently Bailey noticed these things. Thankfully she didn't link them to pregnancy, but she did see fit to let Doctor Grey run labs and not talk to any patient herself because, well, she might snap at them like she had that poor old man in room 227.

She had just picked up some blood work and just missed the elevator. Rather then waiting for the next one, which people were already gathering around, Meredith doubled back and headed up the stairs. She wasn't all that surprised to find Mark going down while she was going up. Despite the fact that her heart sank considerably when he showed up, she couldn't help but grin lightly as he brushed past her. "Doctor Grey," she turned back while at the top of the landing. "You don't talk to me at work anymore? What fun's that?" He pouted, causing Meredith to giggle faintly. She shouldn't have done that. She knew Mark loved her laugh.

He bounded up the stairs, looping his arm around her waist and brushing her cheek with a hand. Meredith shivered slightly under his touch, only making Mark smile wider. He picked her up into his arms, much to her objection, and perched her on the railing. "Mark," she whined, "Bailey's going to kill me if I don't get these labs back to her ASAP."

"And you will," he responded, toying with a strand of her hair and twisting it around his finger. "I'll tell her I had you run my lab work, okay? What Bailey doesn't know won't hurt her. And her loss is our gain." Mark leaned forward pressing his lips to hers forcefully. Surprised, Meredith nearly fell backwards off the railing, but Mark had his arms around her waist. She still flung her arms around his neck for support. He pulled away, a sly smirk upon his face. "You totally dig me."

"I'm not the one who stalks people in the stairwells," she murmured easily, bobbing her head and evading his next kiss. Mark frowned before leaning forward farther, pushing Meredith out over the staircases. She squealed slightly, not realizing that he had his arms firmly locked around her waist.

"You're not going anywhere," he murmured moving himself forward. Meredith wouldn't dare move backward for fear of falling two flights of stairs, but did move closer when he did, allowing their lips to touch. When she leaned into his kiss he pulled her back in, loosening his grip on her waist as they traded kisses. First slow, deep kisses, and then quick, forceful ones.

"You know I never took you as a stairwell kind of guy," Meredith murmured moments later, now running her thumb along his abdomen. Mark arched a brow slightly, obviously slightly confused.

"Excuse me?"

"Derek was an elevator guy. You're a stairwell guy. I always saw you as more of a 'let's do it on the roof' kind of guy." Meredith offered a suggestive smile as she plucked away at his shirt. Mark shrugged off his lab coat and leaned forward alongside her.

"Yeah? We could try that tomorrow. I was just wondering if we could get away with it so out in the open." He returned her grin with own, the McGrin. "But for now..." He pulled his own shirt over his head, staring at her with arched brows. "Well?" Meredith had to hop off the railing just in case. She really didn't want to fall off. She'd seen him shirtless a lot of times, nearly every day for a month, but she still stared at him for a full minute every time. She wanted to memorize every bit of him she could see. He was handsome, all right, and he was there.

"Well what?" She responded, moving closer and fiddling with the strings of his scrub pants with one hand while still holding her lab results in the other. "You're a stairwell guy. I want to see if I decide to be a stairwell girl." Mark gave a laugh before planting his hands on her hips and lifting her up again, planting her firmly on the railing again.

"Trust me, Meredith, you're a stairwell girl." He pulled at her shirt, brushing against her as he did so. She seemed hesitant. Mark apparently noticed, and simply swooped in for a deep kiss. She dropped her lab results in surprise, the folders littering the floor below. He pulled her shirt over her head and she leaned into him, running her fingers over his chest. He pulled her into his arms and she draped her arms around his neck. Mark slid down the wall and sat with her in his lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and he kissed her neck once, twice, three times before burying his face into her shoulder. He was running his hands over her bare skin and she was shivering under his touch.

"Mark, this is very out in the open," Meredith murmured as he wrapped his arms protectively around her small frame. Moving so his head rested on her shoulder very close to her ear, he spoke.

"That's what makes it so exciting. The risk." She leaned back, her eyes meeting his. Meredith stared at him long and hard. God, those eyes. He was grinning at her again, awaiting her approval. She couldn't help it. Mark made her feel safe again. She tilted her head back and kissed him, lightly, so when he leaned forward to kiss back she'd already pulled away. "You're teasing me," he stated dully. "I don't like it when you tease me."

"Yeah, you do," she insisted, ignoring the goose bumps that formed as his hands made their way from around her shoulders down her sides. He traced small circles on her back before moving to her stomach. Meredith bit her lip slightly as he laid his hand upon her stomach, moving his thumb in a circular motion over it. "Mark," she mumbled as he tapped her stomach five times with his index finger. "Okay, stop," she muttered after the sixth one. This was an ongoing game they had. For every tap he gave her a kiss...on the spot he'd tapped.

Grinning lightly he slipped his head around her arm and pressed his lips lightly to her stomach. Meredith felt her muscles contract each time his lips brushed her skin. She hadn't told him yet. You couldn't hear a fetal heartbeat with the human ear. Could you? Of course not. Then why would we have ultrasounds? Right? "Mark..."

"I got one more," he declared tracing a circle around her bellybutton before pressing his lips to it, sticking his tongue out and blowing into it. Meredith went into a giggle fit, leaning back against him and sighing heavily. He hadn't said anything. She hoped that was because he didn't know anything. "Meredith?" He finally murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Your shirt's ringing." Sure enough her pager, clipped to her scrub shirt, was beeping. Springing to her feet Meredith snatched her shirt, pulling it over her head hastily and grabbing the pager. She stared at it for a moment, head tilted to the side. "What?"

"Nothing," she answered scrambling to retrieve her fallen lab reports and sprinting up the stairs. "Bailey says there's someone here she'd like me to meet..." Mark shot her a cautious glance. He hoped Bailey didn't catch them down there. Meredith would be meeting Doctor Bailey's good friend the rectal if she wasn't careful.

Dropping the lab results off in the patient's room, Meredith caught sight of her Resident. "Doctor Bailey!" She called, falling into step with her. "You said you needed to see me?"

Bailey eyed her carefully. Meredith hastily messed with her hair, keeping her gaze away from her. "I didn't want to see you. Someone else did. You're on Liz Lioness's case, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I got your Neuro consult." Meredith nodded her thanks before ducking back into the room she'd just come out of.

"Good afternoon, Liz. How's everything-" Meredith hovered in the doorway as she stared at the back of the neurosurgeon. That ass looked familiar. That voice was very familiar.

"-I'll be taking on your case. Doctor Grey will be assisting." He turned around. Meredith felt her jaw drop. "Doctor Grey. Can't we be civilized here?"

"De- Doctor Shepherd...What are you doing here?"

Great. Enter dark and twisty Meredith.