Doc's Note: Well, here you go. I think I'm getting back in the swing of things. I'm writing instead of studying again, which while being stupid, is a really good sign that my writers' block is in fact gone. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: Doc seriously does not own Grey's Anatomy.
"Get out. You've certainly done enough damage."
Her head was throbbing painfully, and she was pretty sure she wasn't actually conscious. Meredith heard the words from far away, and they sounded distorted and very unfamiliar. She was sure she knew the voice from somewhere, but she couldn't quite pinpoint it. Besides, she was a little more then slightly distracted by the fact that she felt like her body had simply given up, and then there was the lingering thought that, oh yeah, she had just passed out in the operating room of Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd. And if she knew her friends at all, and she thought she did, someone had probably told whoever was tending to her that she was pregnant.
And that was exactly what she needed, the entire hospital knowing that the slutty intern was pregnant with, well, someone's baby. She was sure the nurses would come up with their own theories on who the father was. Cristina would probably be holding bets. "All right, Grey. Let's get a look." For a moment, Meredith figured that she might actually be awake, and just drugged, which was why she hadn't recognized Addison's voice. But then, when she was sure her eyes had snapped open, she saw the distinct look of surprise on the neonatal surgeon's face. "Oh, you're awake."
"That's cold," Meredith stated dully, voice sounding groggy as she indicated the gel on the end of the transducter. This was weird, Meredith finally realized, that she was getting an Ultrasound from the woman from whom she'd potentially stolen her husband. It was...awkward to say the least.
"Sorry. So," Addison looked away from the monitor for a moment; she hadn't gotten a clear picture anyway. "When did this happen?" Yes, this was definitely awkward. But, hell, Addison was the neonatal surgeon, and Meredith had admittedly collapsed while pregnant. Still, she really wished she would have been able to take her friends' advice and get a nice consult from someone other then Addison Montgomery. Not that she disliked Addison, it was just...weird.
"You tell me," Meredith mumbled somewhat softly. Her gaze drifted from her stomach to meet Addison's eyes and back again. She gave a sheepish sort of smile. "Actually, don't tell me. I don't think I want to know."
Addison looked thoughtful, as if debating whether or not to ask why. Meredith saw the realization sink into the neonatal surgeon's eyes as she let out a low sigh. "You know, I've heard you called Dark and Twisty before, but I never really noticed how much so until now." Meredith gave a dull chuckle in spite of herself.
"It's not like I want these things to happen. I-" She paused, startled into silence when the image popped up on the monitor. It was slightly distorted, and hard to see, but it was definitely there, a fetus, her baby, in her stomach. "Oh, my God." Meredith breathed, feeling her own hand slip down to her abdomen, and place her fingers gently on top of it. Sure, she'd seen the pregnancy test before, but the real impact of the fact that she was pregnant didn't exactly hit her until now. Well, technically, it had hit her like a ton of bricks when she'd fainted, but now, looking at that little person growing inside of her, with real proof, it seemed surreal.
"That's my baby." She stated it as a statement, but Meredith had a feeling it came out in an almost questioning tone.
"That's your baby," Addison confirmed, in that tone she only used with mothers to be. She removed the transducter from Meredith's stomach, much to the intern's surprise.
"That's it?" Meredith sounded almost confused. She'd collapsed on the Operating Room floor! There had to be something wrong. Right? "Shouldn't you maybe run some tests or something?..."
Addison had shot her 'the look'. It wasn't often that Meredith got that look anymore, since she and Addison were on friendlier terms now. But that look still gave her the chills, that same somewhat amused yet irritated look she'd gotten the day Addison had shown up at Seattle Grace for the first time, revealing that Derek wasn't exactly the perfect man. "This is my specialty, Meredith," she responded with a sigh. "Fetal heartbeat's strong, no signs of complications to you, everything checks out. You're fine. The baby's fine. Stress on a mother can cause things like this to happen. I suppose you've been stressed?"
She paused, dropping them into that uneasy silence once more. "You really don't know who the father is, do you?"
Meredith shook her head. "I kind of just found out I was even pregnant this afternoon." Addison tilted her head slightly to one side. "So it could be Mark's or..." She left that statement quite open; it felt like if she admitted that this baby could possibly be Derek's, it would be. Or at least she would start some sort of old argument with Addison.
Neither of those things happened, not right now anyway. Addison simply heaved a sigh. "Look, Meredith, I don't have to tell you anything you don't want to be told. I'm just advising you that eight to nine months from now when you have this baby, you have some kind of father in line. I can't tell you what to do. You're an adult. But you know, they always kind of want to know when they've helped create something. They like to take credit any way they can."
Meredith looked thoughtful. "Eight to nine months?" She gave a thoughtful sort of grin. "You're not going to give me the exact due date and make me figure it all out?"
Addison shook her head. "Not if you don't want me to. Of course, there's always the doctor-patient confidentiality rule." The redhead shrugged at this. "And remember, that only includes you and me, not any of the other doctors that are running around this hospital."
Meredith leaned back against her pillows. She really, really did not want to deal with this right now. In fact, she'd been planning on waiting until she, well, started looking pregnant to break the fact to anyone else, Mark included. But if he knew... "Who were you talking to, outside the room, before I came to?" She was afraid she already knew the answer.
Addison's hesitating confirmed it before her answer ever could. "Mark." Meredith closed her eyes, obviously debating her predicament. Did she tell Mark? And if she did tell Mark herself, (he obviously already knew) would she mention the tiny detail that he might not be the father? That was the real question. And, what about Derek? "Meredith?" Addison brought her out of her reverie.
"Yeah?"
"We always do this, for records of procedures, but I always have to ask..."
"What?" Meredith felt her breath catch in her throat; what was she going to ask her anyway? Some sort on interrogation about her pregnancy? What?
"You want a copy?" Addison held up a still shot of the Ultrasound. "It's kinda like your baby's first pictures. Usually they're a little more developed but..."
Meredith felt herself smile. "Sure, I'll take a copy." Addison handed her the copy, and made to exit the room.
"You can leave whenever you feel ready to, but I'd advise bed rest." Addison let a small laugh escape her. "Not that you doctors ever listen to me anyway." Meredith found herself grinning lightly at the Ultrasound, tracing the small outline of her baby. The baby that was inside her, growing. Her eyes snapped back to Addison just as she left the room.
"Addison!" She called. No response. "DOCTOR MONTGOMERY?" The click-clack of stiletto heels signaled the neonatal surgeon's return.
"You bellowed, Doctor Grey?" Again, Addison was relieved that Meredith remembered nothing of the Morphine incident. That had been...interesting. Meredith inhaled deeply, gaze still on the Ultrasound. Her eyes drifted to Addison and she spoke, barely above a whisper.
"If it's all right with you, I think I'd like to know my official due date...Could you maybe put it on a piece of paper so I could look at it...when I'm ready?"
GA
Today was a long shift day. What did that mean for Meredith Grey? Normally, that meant catching dinner somewhere between eight p.m. and midnight, usually alone. But today, as she wasn't put on any very strenuous cases because of her, ahem, condition, Meredith was heading off to the cafeteria right at eight o'clock. Her post-op forms could wait. Besides, she'd been tipped off by Cristina that as of now, both Derek and Mark were in surgery. Now would be the perfect time to catch a quick meal.
Or a not so quick meal. When you were eating for two, and Meredith finally realized why she'd been eating so much lately, you tended to eat very long, very big, meals. When she slipped into the cafeteria, apparently unnoticed, she took it as a good sign. Perhaps the rumor mill had died down for the day, and she wouldn't have to deal with it until tomorrow. She went quickly through the line, picking up a variety of different foods, and quickly paid for it all. When Meredith turned around, she was slightly surprised to see about fifty pairs of eyes staring at her. Apparently, the rumor mill never stopped working.
Meredith stood, momentarily frozen in place, as she tried to see past the sea of eyes. Did this hospital seriously have nothing better to do then sit around gawking at Meredith Grey's Dark and Twisty life? She nearly jumped when someone touched her shoulder, relieved to see a familiar face among the sea of rumor weed. "George," she stated in an exasperated tone. "Why aren't they saying anything?"
He gave a nervous sort of chuckle before heading back the way he came, indicating for Meredith to follow. "I'm pretty sure Cristina threatened them that if they said anything, they wouldn't see a patient for a month. They'd be the patient. Or something." Meredith gave a somewhat amused sigh. There was no need to ask where they were going; she knew the route like the back of her hand by now.
When they arrived at Really Old Guy's room, the other three were already immersed in conversation. It died off into nothing when the two entered the room, and Meredith flopped onto an unoccupied chair, nearly waking Really Old Guy with her irritated intake of breath. "Yeah, I didn't want them talking about me, but I really don't want them just staring at me either. Thanks anyway, Cristina." Meredith settled back on the prospect of eating, but found she wasn't hungry anymore. Being pregnant kind of sucked.
"So," Alex murmured from his spot leaning against the windowsill. "How come Cristina and Izzie knew you were pregnant, and I didn't. I bet Bambi knew, too. He's usually involved in your little girl talks."
"I didn't know!" George protested, pushing off from his leaning position in the doorway. "I swear I didn't! I'm not her sister. She didn't tell me anything!" He paused, shooting Meredith a look. "Why didn't you tell me anything? I live in your house!"
"You all knew," Cristina stated rather dully. "We all knew. Hell, the only one who didn't know was Meredith. With Izzie going around with her pregnancy book, you had to wonder who was pregnant. Turns out, our suspicions were right."
"I only found out today anyway," Meredith responded in a semi-irritated tone. "So did they. Because they forced me to take a pregnancy test." She gave Izzie and Cristina an annoyed look. "I'm never doing anything either of you say ever again. It always turns out badly for me."
"Look at it this way," Izzie murmured, turning around to sit Indian style on the floor. "At least you found out before Mark." She had to stop herself from adding the attachment of 'and Derek' but figured that Meredith wouldn't appreciate that.
"Oh yeah. I found out at one o'clock, and he found out at five. I have so much of an advantage." Meredith groaned, arms wrapped around her body. This day was just getting worse and worse.
"Hey," Alex muttered through biting into an apple. "I got a real reason to be thankful. Least it's not Shepherd's." Silence fell over the room, mostly over the three women. George had opened his mouth to agree, but caught Izzie's gaze and ended up mouthing silently. Alex was the only one completely oblivious to what was going on. "What? You'd rather it be Shepherd's?"
Meredith seemed to be having fun trying to bore a hole into the floor. She was sure someone would jump in to break the uneasy quiet, but it most certainly wouldn't be her. Her hand was clenched into a fist around the slip of paper in her pocket. She hadn't looked at it yet; she wasn't ready, especially after what Alex had just suggested. She continued coiling and uncoiling her fist around it, debating with herself. Did she want to know? Or didn't she? Quite frankly, there were advantages to both options...She was snapped from her thoughts when George broke the silence.
"Well, anyway, at least you kept Shepherd and Sloan from killing each other with your fainting stunt," he murmured with a grin. "I bet they weren't getting along so well, what with you the only mediator between them."
Cristina jumped at the change of subject, instantly molding it into something totally un-Derek or Mark or baby related. "Yeah, how was that procedure anyway? It sounded like it'd be interesting. Was it?"
Meredith shrugged lightly, trying hard to remember anything before she'd passed out. "Mark let me hold the suction straw. It was gross, but cool." That went without saying. "I wonder if she's okay..."
"Liz Lioness, right?" Izzie questioned, looking up from the chart she'd been reading. "I'm on post-op checkups now. Says she's fine, made it through surgery. Her parents got held up, though." Izzie glanced at Meredith. "She's been asking for you."
Alex smirked. "Look, she's already got the kids climbing all over her. She'll be fine." Meredith arched a brow. "Cristina and Izzie were worried about you, but wouldn't tell me why. I could just tell, the way they were saying your name all cautiously."
Meredith let her graze drift between the two. Well, at least her friends cared. She had to remember to thank them for that later. "I'll be fine," she repeated, getting to her feet.
"Where you going?" George wondered aloud, gesturing to the still full tray of food sitting alongside her chair. "You didn't eat a thing. You're eating for two now, y'know..."
"O'Malley, seriously." Alex shook his head slowly. "You know she'll be up at 3 a.m. eating peanut butter covered Oreos or something."
"Yeah, Alex," Izzie mused. "You're the expert on neonatal. You'd know." He shot her a glare, to which Izzie simply smirked.
"You didn't answer the question," Cristina murmured. "Where are you going?"
"To check on my kid." The other four exchanged bemused looks. "My patient. But, if you want to check my kid out, take a look at that." Meredith had a manilla folder underneath her lunch tray, and handed it over to George as she passed him. It contained her Ultrasound, and she heard a distinct 'awe' as she left the room. Then a 'Seriously, George?' She chuckled lightly, barely turning around when she heard her name being called.
"Meredith!" Cristina had poked her head out of the room. "You should really send a look out first."
Meredith rolled her eyes. "I'm not James Bond, Cristina. Besides, you said they were both in surgery."
"You wouldn't be talking about me, would you?" Meredith winced at the voice. She knew it all too well. Cristina was right. Why did Cristina always have to be right? Meredith turned around to see Mark striding toward her from the end of the hallway. Cristina shot her a look, one that said 'I can tackle him if you wanna run'. She shook her head quickly, allowing Mark to near her. She couldn't run forever, right? Still, her hand was still clamped around the slip of paper in her pocket. "Are you okay? You realize you scared the crap out of me in there, right?"
Meredith gave a shrug. "I'm fine." Fine. That word should be outlawed. It almost never really meant 'fine' especially in medical situations. It was just what you said.
"And the little guy?"
"You realize it might be a girl, right?" Meredith had said it automatically. It wasn't exactly how she'd wanted to start this conversation out, but now that she had she was forced to let him respond.
Mark frowned, though she could see the laughter flash through his eyes. "If she's half as much of a handful as her mother is, she's never leaving the house." Meredith rolled her eyes lightly.
"Oh, yeah, and if the baby turned out to be like you it'd be so much better off." Mark gave her a sort of suggestive smile, removing his hand from the pocket of his lab coat and letting it rest on her stomach. He scrunched his face up, as if in deep thought. Time seemed to pass so slowly for those few seconds, and Meredith could've sworn she felt Mark realizing just by his hand resting there, so close to the baby, that it might not be his.
No such luck. "This baby is going to be one cute little thing. Look at us. Seriously, how could we screw it up? No matter if it's a boy or a girl, this baby's going to be the next generation's heartbreaker." Meredith could feel herself frowning, though Mark didn't appear to have noticed. He had his arm looped around her waist, and was leading her along the hallways.
"Mark," she stated quietly, somewhat startled when she figured out just where he was leading her. "We can't do this now." He didn't seem to mind, and opened the door to the stairway leading to the roof anyway.
"You take me for such a man," Mark commented in a hurt tone. "There happens to be a really nice view of Seattle up here. And since this is the one day of the year it's not raining, I figured I'd show you." Meredith couldn't help but smile slightly. Though Mark could be, well, McSteamy, he also had this side, which everyone else rarely saw. Meredith liked Mark this way, of course she felt kind of guilty that he was doing this right now. Why not yesterday? Oh, yeah. They were having makeout sessions yesterday.
"Mark," she repeated. They were two steps from the door. Meredith slid in front of him, on the prospect of blocking his path, but he simply chuckled and lifted her into his arms, pushing the door open with his back. "Mark! Put me down!"
He shrugged and obliged, setting her down lightly. Mark heaved a sigh, glancing out at the Seattle skyline by nightfall. "You know, when people talk about Seattle, they usually talk about one of three things: the coffee, the space needle, or the damn rain." Mark paused, casting a glance at Meredith. "When people ask me about Seattle, y'know what I tell them about?"
She wasn't sure she wanted to know. The city was so beautiful at night. It looked even better from up here. It was cold, though, so Meredith had her arms wrapped around her body. "What?" She nearly whispered, shivering when Mark wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
He rested his chin on her shoulder. "You."
Okay. That was it. She couldn't take it anymore. Here Meredith was, keeping a huge secret from him, and Mark was being the sweetest guy possible. She pulled away from him lightly, and Mark frowned. "Mark," she said again, in that tone she had. He straightened up, looking at her seriously. Meredith rarely used that tone with him, it was just too serious.
"Yeah?"
"I have to tell you something..."
"Yeah?"
Meredith gulped. Suddenly there was a huge lump in her throat. She didn't think she'd be able to breathe, let alone speak. When she did manage to muster up the courage to say something, her sentence came out quickly and as one long word. "I don't know how to tell you this but I'm not sure if the baby's yours."
He was quiet for a moment, probably trying to decipher her words. When the flash of understanding passed through Mark's eyes, Meredith recoiled. "What?"
"I," Meredith felt herself choking up, "I didn't have Addison tell me the due date but...I mean, it could be Derek's, right?"
He stared at her. She stared back. Mark turned his back to her. When he spoke, his voice was calm. He didn't sound mad. "When you figure out who your baby's daddy is, mind letting me know?" He reentered the stairwell, slamming the door to the roof behind him. Maybe he was mad. But could Meredith really blame him?
So she was left alone and cold, watching the stars appear over Seattle. Meredith moved over toward the edge of the building, leaning against the railing. She really shouldn't have looked down, but she did, and the drop made her stomach lurch. Leaning out over the hospital roof she threw up again, glad no one had been directly below her.
Meredith sighed heavily. Correction, she wasn't alone. She was her with her baby.