Doc's Note: You're lucky to get this one today. Seriously. I'm not doing my Literature project and procrastinating by writing this. So hope you like it. I was actually surprised at the voting results. Didn't know there were that many MerMark supporters out there. As previously stated, this has been planned out from the beginning.

DISCLAIMER: It's 9 p.m. on a Thursday night. Do you know who owns Grey's Anatomy? Not Doc.

She should've just hit the 'test' button on her pager and been done with it. She could've made a break for it. She could've left Mark wondering. She could have, but she wouldn't. She was Meredith, and he was Mark. He was Mark Sloan, who kept her sane and safe after Derek left. He deserved to know, right? Besides, knowing Cristina, she'd already gotten the answer out of George. And if Cristina passed that information onto Izzie, who passed it on to Alex, who potentially confirmed it with Addison, well, the entire hospital would know in a matter of hours anyway.

"I have an answer. I don't know if it's the one you want to hear." Her voice came out softly, her gaze had drifted from Mark to the patient and her parents. They seemed happy. She wondered if she'd ever be like that someday, with her own kid.

"I wanna hear it, whatever it is," Mark assured her, arms crossed as he awaited her answer. Really, she thought she didn't need to say it. He could probably tell just by making eye contact with her just what was going on. But for it to be true, really true, she had to say it.

"The baby's Derek's." Mark sighed heavily, though he nodded all the same. "Do you hate me?"

He gave a reluctant sort of smile, as if he couldn't control his own grin. "Wouldn't be able to even if I wanted to." Mark took a step back, allowing Meredith to pass him. She slid out of the room and stood opposite him, gaze still averted to the floor. "But, you realize this thing, you and me, we're done."

"Done," Meredith echoed, somewhat surprised. She's been prepared for him to yell, and he had a right to yell, even if she couldn't exactly control her own fertility. She actually thought Mark would yell. She was prepared for him to accept it, and he had, but she hadn't bargained for this. It was either 'I hate you and we're done' or 'Okay'. She hadn't realized there was an in-between answer. "We're done?"

Mark nodded slowly. "I just need some time. It's all a little hard to digest." He paused, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe you and McDreamy were meant for each other after all. The Dirty Mistress never wins." He shot her his grin again, to which she frowned slightly. She couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Usually, he'd confirm a joke with a kiss. Apparently that part of this relationship was over.

"Yeah." Meredith pulled her gaze up again. "You know where I could find Derek?" She winced slightly at the small flare in Mark's eyes, but it died as soon as it had appeared. Though he was hurting, and she could tell he was, he seemed somewhat sympathetic. Why?

"Meredith..."

"Yeah?" She tilted her head slightly to the side. He fell silent. It was Mark's turn to count floor tiles. "Mark."

"Derek left for New York an hour ago." Meredith stared at him. Mark stared back. He was serious. It would've made sense. Derek had only come back here for a consult, and as Liz Lioness seemed to be recovering nicely, he could leave whenever he wanted. But after what Meredith had told him last night, he was the father of her baby, damn it! He should've at least stuck around to see if it was his or not.

"He left." Again. "He's gone." Again. "And I'm pregnant with his baby." A- well, that was a first. "Mark-" whatever thought Meredith had been trying to string together died off when his beeper rang out shrill and loud. Mark shot her an apologetic frown.

"Life of a surgeon," he muttered turning and heading down the hallway. He did pause to glance over his shoulder, however. "You gonna be okay?"

"Probably not."

"He did what?"

They really needed to find a new meeting place. Sitting around in a bathroom - admittedly it was a hospital, so how dirt could it be?- was kind of disgusting. But it was the only place the three of them could slip away with the assurance that Alex or George wouldn't walk in.

"You told him he might be the father and he told you to have an answer by tomorrow." Izzie confirmed, perched upon the counter near the sinks. "And it's tomorrow now. Ass."

"Ass," Cristina echoed in agreement. "Some things never change. Right Meredith?" Silence. Cristina and Izzie exchanged glances. Meredith had been in that stall for fifteen minutes now. No one took that long in this bathroom if they could help it. "Meredith?"

"Oh, God," Izzie whispered in realization.

"What?" Cristina hissed. Izzie shook her head and hopped down from the sink, moving toward the stall again. She knocked lightly, receiving a cross between a hiccup and a sob that she thought was supposed to mean 'I'm fine'.

"You are not fine. You're so not fine." Izzie had already situated herself in the stall alongside the occupied one, one foot on the toilet.

Cristina arched a brow. "You should come out now, Mere. Izzie's preparing to come in after you again." Meredith gave a snort of annoyance before flinging the door of her stall open. Izzie dropped back to earth, Cristina leaned her back against the door. Meredith looked like shit, but that was to be expected, considering the circumstances. She was sitting on the floor of her stall, head buried in her arms.

"Meredith, look at me." Cristina cast Izzie a glance. She sounded deadly serious. Meredith had apparently noticed this, too, for she peered out from her barricade to meet Izzie's gaze. "Derek isn't still McDreamy. Is he?"

Cristina let out an annoyed "Come on, Izzie." She sighed heavily. "That ship has sailed. Right, Meredith?" It was the hesitation more then the squeaky answer of 'no' that gave it away. Meredith had promised herself that Derek Shepherd wouldn't hurt her again. Well, here she was, broken on the bathroom floor again, because of him.

"Oh, no. He is still McDreamy!" Cristina seemed stunned. She let out a long string of curses.

Meredith shot her a grim smile. "Some things never change." Izzie had opened her mouth to respond, bu her eyes narrowed slightly. There was the distinct sound of muttering coming from the other side of the door. Those were very familiar voices.

"Don't mind me," she murmured edging toward the door. "You guys just continue this little best friend moment. I have something to take care of..." Sure enough, when Izzie flung the door open, Alex was standing there attempting to look like he was just walking through, but George sprawled on the floor from the force of the door being opened confirmed her suspicions that they had been eavesdropping. Izzie closed the door behind her, but her irritated yelling could still be heard from the other side.

"So," Cristina stated slowly. "You're really doing this."

"Doing what?" Meredith choked, finally mustering up the will to get to her feet. She moved to the mirror, took one glance, and laughed. Yep, she looked roughly the same as the first time Derek had left. And the second. Her makeup was running, cheeks tear stained, hair falling out of its ponytail, and her eyes were still red from crying. To top that off, she was getting fat. Again, that was to be expected. But that just added to the goodness of this day.

Cristina mimed a pregnant belly. "Being pregnant. Having a baby." She had to stop herself from saying 'McBaby'. This time, it was actually true. "You don't have to do this, you know. I mean, it's hard enough raising a kid with our kind of job. And without a father-"

"Yeah, this kid might end up just like me," Meredith murmured thoughtfully, again finding that her hand had found its way to her stomach. There were obviously consequences to having this baby. There was the entire daddy issue, but after seeing those pictures -the Ultrasound- and talking to Addison, she knew she couldn't go through with that. She was having this baby, whether Derek wanted to be a part of it or not. Though as much as she hated to admit it, Meredith really wished Derek did care. "I'm really doing this."

Cristina sighed heavily. "You know, having a man's baby even though he doesn't want anything to do with it isn't the best form of rebellion..."

GA

Why did she do this to herself? More importantly, why did she even care? He'd hurt her enough times for her to be able to give you the date, time, and tone of voice he was going to use when leaving. This time, though, Derek hadn't exactly left her with much information. Somehow, almost every other member of the hospital staff had figured out that Derek had left. How? She didn't know.

That's why she was sitting in the locker room, obviously in the mood for tequila. Meredith glared at her stomach. But that wasn't exactly an option this time. Hell, sex with Mark wasn't an option this time. Mark wasn't even an option this time. Meredith had the sneaking suspicion that, even though he hadn't said anything, Mark was angry. He had avoided her all day now.

"Grey, what do you think you're doing?" She was slumped behind a bench, leaning against her locker. Bailey had just entered the room, probably for one of her stash of chocolate bars. Meredith had seriously considered stealing one of them earlier. Stupid food cravings.

Meredith barely looked up. "Being pregnant," she answered dully. She half expected Bailey to back off, since she had gone through it and all. Who was she kidding? This was the Nazi.

Bailey eyed the intern steadily, barely a flash of compassion flicking through her gaze. Hands on hips, the resident stared Meredith down. The intern decided it was safest to look at her shoes. "Do you remember when I was eight months pregnant and waddling around this hospital? And I turned out fine, didn't I?" Meredith thought of mentioning the labor and delivery incident, but didn't exactly feel like dying today, so she kept silent. "You're strong, Grey. You'll get through this."

Meredith glanced up. Bailey was glaring at her, the usual glare that meant get your ass moving. The intern groaned, dragging herself to her feet and stretching her arms over her head. "Did you need something, Doctor Bailey?"

The Resident grinned slightly, shrugging as she exited the room. "Not really. Cristina didn't think I'd be able to get your ass up. Turns out she was wrong." Meredith shook her head. She knew Cristina only said that to get Bailey to get her up. And she had the sneaking suspicion that Bailey knew that, too.

"Well, what should I do. You told me that hormonal people shouldn't hold scalpels unless trained by someone else." Meredith paused, a hopeful tone entering her voice. "Think I could just go home and sleep? I'm not much use here anyway." Doctor Bailey wheeled around.

"No," she stated firmly. "Since when does anyone leave this hospital just for a little pain? People come here because of pain." Bailey turned and continued down the hallway, leaving a bemused Meredith in her wake. "That little girl in room 311 was asking for you earlier, though. Maybe you should check that out."

Meredith grinned in spite of herself. Maybe she wasn't as easily forgotten as she'd previously thought.

Ten minutes later, Meredith had arrived at Liz Lioness's room. The little girl was sitting in her bed, straight up, staring expectantly at the door. "You came back," the patient stated happily. Her tone then took on a more serious nature. "I thought you weren't gonna come see me anymore."

"What gave you that idea?" Meredith murmured as she entered the room and stood in front of the hospital bed. It was kind of strange, Meredith realized, to look at this seven year old girl in this huge hospital bed. It was totally out of proportion.

"I dunno." Liz looked thoughtful. Meredith noticed she was staring at her stomach.

"Honey, what're you looking at?"

Liz giggled slightly, stealing a glance out the window. "I heard some of the nurses talking. Are you having a baby?" Meredith's eyes widened slightly, but then returned to normal. Addison was often in the pediatric wing. It was only common sense to know that the news would have spread here, too.

"Yep, I am."

The little girl grinned at her. "Who's the daddy? I bet it's Doctor Derek or Doctor Mark." Meredith blinked. Was she really that obvious? "They look like they like you enough."

Meredith shook her head slightly, and Liz frowned. "The daddy's Derek. Doctor Derek." That was kind of weird, she decided. "But he left. So I guess the baby's just going to have a mom." She found herself sighing in spite of herself. This was irritating, she decided. A baby was supposed to be a happy occasion, and here it was making her depressed about relationships past.

Liz gave her wide smile before dropping her voice in its serious tone again. "You'll be a good mommy, Meredith." Good. At least somebody thought so, somebody besides Izzie anyway. The little girl was staring at her stomach again, and Meredith couldn't help but smile.

"Here," the intern sat at the edge of the bed, and Liz tilted her head in question. Meredith patted the seat next to her, and the little girl scrambled over. "Put your hand here." She took Liz's hand and placed it just at her bellybutton. "That's where the baby is."

Liz's face had screwed up in concentration. "I can't hear him." Meredith chuckled lightly, both at the little girl's statement and the fact that she'd called her baby 'him'. It was too early to tell, obviously, but calling the baby 'it' was stupid, not to mention disrespectful.

"The baby's probably just sleeping. Trust me, he's in there." They both fell silent, Liz probably trying to hear a heartbeat or distinguish some sort of sound. Meredith was reflecting on the chaos of her last two days. Two days ago, life had seemed so simple. Now, she was pregnant. She was pregnant with Derek's baby, and he was across the country. Plus, Mark was avoiding her and the entire hospital knew of her situation. Just another day in the life of Meredith Grey.

Her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten anything since those cookies she'd had for breakfast. Liz nearly jumped at the sound, pulling her hand away. "Meredith," she whispered, "The baby's hungry."

Meredith laughed again, getting to her feet and patting Liz's pillow. The little girl flopped back onto the bed, and Meredith covered her up. "Where are your parents?" The little girl shrugged.

"Eating." It seemed kind of strange to leave a little kid alone like this. Meredith thought she'd just stay until her parents got back, and then go find some food. She was starving, and apparently, so was the baby. Mr. and Mrs. Daniels walked in a moment later, and Meredith scooted out. She headed for the cafeteria at first, but remembering yesterday's incident (and that had been before the big daddy reveal), she changed her route. Meredith wasn't even sure where she was going until she appeared down in the tunnels, at one of the vending machines.

"'bout time you showed up," Alex muttered in a semi-annoyed tone, flinging a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies at her. Meredith stared at them with an eyebrow arched before gravitating over and flopping down on the stretcher next to him. "Izzie made 'em, not me." With the confirmation that they weren't poison, she practically inhaled a cookie.

"Where is everybody?" Meredith asked between chews. Alex's eyes narrowed.

"Surgery, where else?" He shook his head slowly. "Yang's in with Burke, O'Malley talked his way into Bailey's surgery, and Izzie ended up with Addison." Alex paused, turning his attention to Meredith again. "Sloan was really pissed off today. He just told me to go away. So I did." He smirked lightly, as if thanking her for pissing him off. At least he hadn't had to go around running errands for him today.

"You've been down here all day?"

"Most of the day. I was trying to listen to your conversation outside of the bathroom earlier, but that didn't work out so well." Alex frowned, leaning his head back against the wall and staring at her. She'd already eaten the entire bag of cookies. "Hey, are you okay?"

Meredith shrugged. "Okay as I can be, I guess."

"No, really." This was one of those rare moments when Alex seemed human. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Eventually," Meredith answered slowly. "I'm not exactly okay right now, especially since I can't go sleep with inappropriate men or drink tequila." She turned so she was facing him, legs drawn up on the gurney and sitting Indian style. "This might sound really stupid, but I thought that maybe, since I had a part of him with me now, Derek might actually stay. It might have been bribery in some way, but at least he'd be around." Meredith paused, chancing a glance at Alex. He was staring at her as if she was insane. "I wouldn't have admitted this two days ago, but I really did miss him, and then he was back."

"But now he's gone again. That's just how he is." Meredith nodded.

"Told you it was stupid."

Alex shook his head. "It's not stupid." Meredith let out a sarcastic laugh. "Seriously. You loved him, and that feeling doesn't just go away because he does. People do stupid things when they're in love." Alex shrugged again. "It's like love makes our programming go all screwy. It's not like you can help it."

She nodded. "That's true."

"But don't worry about it. Any guy who's stupid enough to leave you doesn't deserve you anyway." Meredith looked up at him. He was being completely serious. "What? Can't a guy express his feelings once in a while?"

"God, Alex, the gynie-squad really got to you, didn't it?" Meredith laughed. Alex threw an empty coffee thermos at her. She caught it. "Thanks. Really."

He stretched his arms over his head. "No problem. It's what friends do." If that was true, maybe Meredith preferred friends over love any day.

But still, love was lingering in the back of her mind. Damn human emotions.