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Summary: John has been sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison and away from the woman he loves. Trish is adapting to life without John, trying to stay strong for the sake of their newfound love. Can they survive the ultimate test to their relationship, one that neither of them expects or is prepared to fight?

Authors Notes: I am putting a warning in here for this chapter much the same as my very good friend just did with a recent chapter update of hers. There will be moments within this chapter that may be sensitive to others. Please if you are sensitive to anything in terms of what you will and will not read then take that into account before attempting this chapter.

No where to go,
But going out of my mind

"Give me the damn bottle Jeff!" She screamed at him, lunging for him but not catching him quickly enough before he dodged out the way of her grasp.

He had the bottle of pills securely within his grasp and he did not seem to want to give them up for anything this time. They had been here before of course. Moments like these seemed to be more frequent now then they had ever been in the past and only escalating more as time wore on.

He was addicted. She saw that now. For months she had tried to push it away from her conscious mind. Not wanting to believe that her boyfriend, the man she swore to love for the rest of her life could be the addict that was now standing before her. People had told her to be wary of him, to watch what he was becoming but she had just blown them off as being overbearing windbags.

Standing here now though, fighting him with all her might to get the bottle away from him before he had then chance to down some more of the toxic chemical, she knew that they had all been right and that he did indeed have a serious malfunction. He was addicted to the pain medication and he was slowly turning into someone she didn't even recognize.

Throwing her body weight into him then while he seemed to be distracted she managed to knock him off his feet, The bottle crashing to the floor and breaking open, pills seemingly flying everywhere. She tried to get to as many as she could but she suddenly felt like she was being dragged away and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The argument that had started this event hadn't been planned. It was not an intervention. She had not been trying to save him. Quite the opposite actually. She had gotten some good news and had come jubilant, wanting to tell him before the night wore on and she fell asleep.

But the pills had won out. She had seen him taking something when she had walked into the kitchen only minutes before and her heart dropped in her chest. It was the first time she had witnessed him taking the pills that would eventually be his downfall.

She tried to stand then and he pushed her back roughly, her head knocking onto the back end of the sofa, knocking her senses six ways from Sunday.

"Jeff please just put the pills away for me." she cried, hoping with all her might that there was some little part of the man she loved still within him. She knew he wasn't that man right now but maybe that part of his heart that loved her still was.

"Go to hell! I'm a grown man and I will do whatever the hell I want. Do you hear me Trish? You are not my fucking mother!"

She couldn't stand him yelling at her this way, not when the day had started out so wonderfully. They had gone through the normal relationship processes, spending most of the morning in each others arms whispering sweet nothings to each other. When she had left the house to go to her appointment, she assumed it would all resume when she got home. She had been dead wrong.

"No you're right Jeff. I am not your mother because if your mother could see you now she would roll over in her grave."

He slapped her then, hard and fast across her face, and she felt the sting before she realized what had just happened. He was slowly losing it and now he had taken to attacking her. Jeff was indeed lost to her now and the person that was here was someone she never wanted to see again.

As she tried to stand then, putting her hands onto the floor and using whatever strength she had left to push up to a standing position she had lost all focus on what Jeff was doing. She became increasingly aware of him within a few seconds as she felt the tremendously painful hit to her lower abdomen.

She cried out as she hit the floor in a heap of tears and pain. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him what he had done might have endangered more then her own life but she didn't have the energy.

He bent down to her then and got right into her face, pushing her hands away and making her look deep into the eyes she had spent years falling in love with, over and over again. Just why he was doing this was beyond her now, she just knew she had to get away before he went even further.

"Don't you ever compare yourself to my mother, or even pretend to know anything about her. You aren't half the woman she is."

He shook her then, hard and rough, almost as if he wanted to shake the very life blood right out of her. What he was hoping to accomplish with this attack was beyond her.

She felt nauseated then, as if the whole world were spinning on its head. She knew if she didn't do something quick all hope would be lost. Suddenly she felt the gush flow from her body and looking down to where she felt it come from, she saw the blood seeping through her clothes.

He had finally done it...he had killed the one thing he used to want more then anything in his life and he didn't seem to care one bit.

"Jeff stop please! I'm bleeding..." her thoughts started running through her mind all focused on what was happening to her body because of the man she presumed to love. She needed to tell him now before this went any further. He needed to know that he wasn't just hurting her anymore.

"Jeff please...I can't fight you anymore. I need to get to the hospital or I might lose our baby..."

"Yes Jeff, I'm pregnant." she said, her voice cool and collected, not showing one bit of emotion for what she had lost all of those years ago with him.

She knew the past was supposed to be behind them now, but knowing that Jeff now knew that she was carrying John's child, it made her nervous to have him in her home the way he was. The last time they had been here this way she had lost the one thing that would have solidified their love forever. He had beaten the life out of their child.

"How far along?" he managed to choke out, the words coming in barely a whisper. Apparently with the look on his face, he was now remembering the same time period as she had been. He was now being faced with the actions that had caused the demise of their relationship.

"Four months now. The baby is due in February." was all she could manage.

He ran his fingers through his hair then, showing his obvious discomfort with the whole topic of conversation and also the vision that was sure to be occupying his mind, same as hers.

"I am so fucking sorry Trish. I never should have done what I did back then. The way I laid my hands on you, it was not what a man that loves someone is supposed to do. I am so sorry I never gave you the chance to tell me about the baby until it was too late."

He reached out to touch her then and before he had the chance to reach her she flinched and moved away. The past was still too raw for her to handle this much intimacy from him now. He was only trying to make amends for the hell he had created in their lives but she just couldn't bring herself to accept his tries.

"You need to go Jeff; this is not the time or the place for you to cleanse your soul. I can't go back and make it better for you."

He looked like he was about to make a move in her direction again but seemed to think better of it and instead turned and walked towards the door. Before he let himself out he threw another look back at the woman standing alone in the living room full of baby clothes.

Clothes that could have been for their child had he played his life the way he was meant too, before the pills had taken over.

"Tell John he's a lucky man. He got to give you the one thing that I took away."