This story is proving to be much more difficult to do than I originally thought. Encouragement is greatly needed. I'm sorry if this bit seems off. I know the last chap was kinda weird. Feel free to point out issues. The next chapter should be much stronger, okay?

Please review.

"Sora? Sora!"

It wasn't until Kairi actually grabbed his arm that he realized she was there. He heard the voice calling to him but there was no reason to react to it. There didn't seem to be much reason for anything right now.

"Sora, what happened?"

He shouldn't tell her. She'd be angry with Riku and Sora didn't want that. Riku was in enough pain.

"Sora, look at me!" She took hold of both his shoulders, forcing him to face her. He kept his head down, eyes to the stone road. Even when she pulled him to her and a near bone-crunching hug, he kept that pose.

She stopped talking and Sora was glad. He didn't want to upset her either. She wasn't involved in this.

He didn't notice that she had led him to Aerith's house.

The former flower girl set down her pruning shears and came quickly forward. She said nothing but helped get Sora up the steps and inside. Once he was positioned on the couch, she sat beside him opposite Kairi.

Sora just stared ahead.

"What did Riku say to you?" Kairi's voice was gentle but there was a definite underlying anger to it. "Answer me, Sora.

He shook his head.

Kairi looked helplessly at Aerith. She was watching the boy very carefully, green eyes filled with concern. Her features softened and she placed a hand on Sora's back. "It's okay, Sora. If you don't want to talk, you don't have to. Just please understand that we're worried about you and Riku."

"Is… is there something wrong with me?" Sora whispered. "Am I, am I just too nice? What, what is it?"

Tears began falling from large, confused blue eyes. The boy really didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings. "He said he loves me. Even then he said it. Why does he want him then? Was I not good enough? Was I too clingy? But he loves me so why? Why?"

Kairi tensed. She was going to find Riku and kill him. What the hell had he said to Sora? The brunette was a complete basket case. Riku had finally said something but from Sora's babbling, had managed to completely fuck it up.

She almost stood but caught Aerith's eye. The woman slowly shook her head. "He needs you here."

Kairi grit her teeth. Riku would have to wait.

What had he done?

Sora had mechanically walked way almost twenty minutes ago and Riku had sat in a daze in the same position since. He'd finally done it. He'd revealed his greatest secret and shattered the heart of his nearest, dearest friend. After this, they wouldn't even be that anymore.

There was no way they could continue to have any sort of relationship after this… betrayal. That's what it was. Why had he never told Sora about Cloud? There had been absolutely no reason for it. Sora wouldn't have been bothered by it.

The first time they had sex, Sora had asked him if he'd done anything like it before. Riku had flat out lied. He still didn't know why. Sora might have been a little hurt he wasn't Riku's first but he would have gotten over it.

Now that he was thinking about it, their whole relationship was built on that lie. From the beginning, Riku had only been truthful about one thing: he truly did love Sora. He loved everything about the obnoxiously optimistic boy, from his childish views of how the worlds should be to his rare expression of anger when he saw something he felt unjust to those moments when he was completely at peace and he simply radiated light.

But did he really understand Sora? He thought he did but there were things he knew he would simply never get. Attitudes and stances that made no sense to him that he simply wrote off as Sora being Sora. In fact, when it came to Sora, he simply glazed over the rough spots.

Sora was this perfect icon in his mind and therefore their relationship was perfect.

And therein was the fundamental problem. The source of Riku's folly. Sora wasn't perfect, he never was but Riku had developed this image of him. And he wanted that perfection so he fixated on it, Believed that if he loved and devoted his entire being to that perfect, pure image he held, he would eventually become part of it.

He never should have gotten involved with his best friend.

Their romance was a wonderful mistake. It was one that he would forever regret, as much as it would remain a fondest memory. How messed up did that sound? However it was the truth and Riku felt a great deal of peace settle over him.

He heart still ached terribly for the suffering he had put Sora through. Sora would always own a significant piece of his heart even if the boy never spoke to him again. He knew they could never truly be apart nor could they ever again be together. He had done way too much damage.

"Riku?" That voice had never left his heart. Despite how desperately he tried to shut it out.

He glanced over. Cloud was frowning, looking more concerned than Riku believed he'd ever been. He felt terrible that the man was wasting it on him. He looked away again, back to the fountain. "I'm sorry, Cloud. I never should have put you through this."

He sighed. "I really messed everything up. I've never been satisfied with what I have, always wanting more. And I get so focused on what I don't have that I don't see what's right there in front of me. I've loved Sora a long time, almost as long as I remember. He was everything I wanted to be. He was open with his feelings, not afraid or ashamed to admit he was wrong or to say he was weak. Even if he failed, he still would go on with that damned eternal optimism of his.

"Sora is everything I can't be. He completes me. I can't fully explain it but it's the truth."

He managed to face Cloud again. The blonde was standing there, somewhat tensely. His face wore a neutral expression but those blue eyes of his were filled with apprehension and pain. Riku wanted to drown in those eyes.

"And then there's you. You, I can't even begin to explain what you mean to me. I look at you and I just feel, calm. Like if I have you, nothing in the worlds can touch me. It's like I'm home." Riku shook his head. "I never should have walked away."

The barest flicker of hope came to those eyes.

Sora sat numbly, not really aware of what he was saying. Things where springing from his mouth that he simply didn't understand. Why was he taking the blame for this? He knew he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd been everything a boyfriend should be.

From the start, he'd been the devoted lover, knowing when to push and when to back off. He knew Riku needed him. He'd always known that Riku was lost without him. He provided stability, a perfect balance to Riku's ever changing emotional states.

He had been fairly sure that Riku was lying when he said he'd never been with another. The silver haired boy had been way too experienced with his movements to not have been. He never really thought about why Riku wouldn't tell him the truth about this. He figured it had to be one of those things involving the darkness that he simply refused to go into.

Sora wasn't so naive that he didn't realize that sex and love weren't mutually exclusive. He had formed this theory that while alone, Riku had simply made up for his isolation with physical intimacy. After a few times with Riku, he didn't blame the other for it at all. Sex did feel great and there was a definite sense of fulfillment that came with it.

What was hurting most right now was the fact that Riku didn't trust him. He didn't even feel betrayed. He just didn't understand why it had to come to this. He felt whole with Riku. How could he feel such completeness with someone who was in love with another?

Kairi was fuming beside him and Aerith was simply watching him. He really didn't want to be near any one right now. He also knew he had to find a way to keep Kairi from going after Riku. For if Sora was certain about anything it was that he still loved Riku and forever would.

"You really wanna help me, Kai?" He spoke softly but the quiver was gone from his voice.

"Anything, Sora."

"Promise me you won't go after Riku."

Her expression darkened. "Sora-"

"I mean it, Kai."

"But look what he's done to you!" She jumped to her feet and began pacing. "He's been basically having an emotional affair on you since the beginning! I know you hate conflict and give everyone the benefit of the doubt but he doesn't deserve it, Sora!"

"I know."

"Then why…?"

"I love him." He answered calmly, leaving no room for further questioning.

Kairi stared at him for a long time. She suddenly threw up her hands. "Ugh! Why am I trying? Fine, Sora. If this farce of a relationship you got with Riku is worth that much to you go and be miserable."

She stalked off upstairs.

He glanced at Aerith. She gave a bit of a smile. He knew she understood what he was talking about. Of everyone here, she would the most. She stood and went to the kitchen. Returning a moment later with a damp cloth, she handed it to Sora.

He took it without comment and wiped his tear streaked face. Once finished he handed it back. "How did you and Kairi know?"

"We cornered Cloud." She answered. "He didn't want you to ever find out."

Sora smiled bitterly, getting up. "They're both damned idiots, aren't they?"

"Indeed."

"If you want to do something, find Leon. I would but, I can't help him just now."

Aerith frowned.

Sora laughed but there was no amusement in it. "I can't believe you haven't noticed. Leon's totally in love with Cloud and judging by what happened this morning, he knows everything now, too."

He walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

He paused. "I think Riku, Cloud and I need to talk."