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Summary: John has been sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison and away from the woman he loves. Trish is adapting to life without John, trying to stay strong for the sake of their newfound love. Can they survive the ultimate test to their relationship, one that neither of them expects or is prepared to fight?

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,

"When were you going to tell me Trish? Before you had the babies or afterwards when we were married?" his tone was angry and he knew it wasn't a good idea to be getting this upset while still behind bars and also with having her pregnant with twins. If there had been worries about the baby they were having, there was more so now with more then one on the way.

He tapped his foot on the floor, something he had never done before and the minute he noticed it he stopped and chose instead to pace around the room until she gave him an answer. It was his right after all to want to know just what the hell his girlfriend was doing messing around with an ex that had spent time beating her.

He was more hurt then ever by the fact that it had not been Trish that had come to him and told him what had happened, asking him to forgive and forget. No it had been Jeff Hardy, the other man in the picture, one that obviously Trish could not forget. Well if thats the way she wanted it then he was more then happy to oblige.

Hear her out before you jump to conclusions.

Sure that was easy for his mind to say when it wasn't his mind that was hurting. It was his heart. How many times was this going to happen to him before he learned? First Michelle and now Trish? Was it possible that he was destined to keep finding women that would cheat and hide things from him?

"It's not what you think John. You have to believe me on that."

He turned, stopping the pace in mid stride and looked at her as she stood from table and made her way to the other side of the room away from him. How could it not be what he thought? How did she know at all what he thought. She was not in his mind right now so she didn't have a clue.

"Then tell me what it was then. Because from where I sit, while I have been rotting out in this hell hole, you are out there kissing your ex and god knows what else. So tell me what I don't understand. Please, I dare you."

The tears were building in the corner of her eyes but she was not going to give him the satisfaction right now of seeing her cry. She had spent too much time in the past year crying over him, over the past and over the future that was non existent. There was no way with him sitting here now accusing her of something more then what had really happened that she was going to let him see one bit of emotion. She had to detach herself from this room and from him right now so that she could get all of this out. She had to make him see that what he thought was wrong.

"Yes Jeff and I, we kissed. He kissed me first and I didn't pull away. That's the truth of the matter. It was one time and the only reason it happened at all was because the subject of the past was brought up and the baby we had lost, or rather I lost because he beat me up came up."

There had been another baby? Trish had been pregnant before?

"You were pregnant with Jeff's baby?" he managed to get out, still taken aback by the fact that she had kept something so huge like this from him as well. The kiss still bothered him and he didn't know what he was going to do about it right now, but this secret was even bigger and something he didn't understand at all. He had been nothing but honest with her while he had the chance and he was finding out now that she hadn't told him anything. Just what he had wanted to hear.

"Yes. It was over three years ago. I had just found out about it and came home to tell Jeff. He was popping pills when I came in and well a fight ensued with him kicking the living hell out of me. I knew it wasn't Jeff doing it, but the pills that he had taken but it still didn't make the end result any different. We lost the baby that night, before we ever had a chance to really know what it felt like to be pregnant."

"Why didn't you tell me before Trish? Why hide all of this the way you have been? Were you hoping that I would just not care about something as important as that? Jeff beat you for God sakes, I knew deep down he had but I didn't know it had been this bad."

From the other side of the room she knelt over the table, the pain of the fake contractions taking hold of her and making her weak in the knees. She wanted to stop this conversation and just make things right again and from there go home and rest but she knew that was next to impossible. One mistake was about to cost her everything.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to think about it anymore. I hadn't really sat down and cried about it, talked about it, thought about it in years. I thought it was better off buried in the past. I didn't expect Jeff to come back and make a play to get back into my heart. That is what all of this is about isn't it? You think that Jeff and I have been fooling around behind your back and you couldn't be more wrong. I have forgiven him for the past but I have no forgotten what he put me through, whether it was the pain pills or not. The kiss was a means to an end. A way to say goodbye once and for all."

"Goodbye to who Trish? To him or to me? Because with the way I feel right now the goodbye might as well have been meant for me. In fact if you don't mind, I think I have had enough bombshells for one day and I think it best if you just left."

"John don't you dare do this. You promised me that you would never pull away from me this way again remember? If you are angry then thats fine but don't you dare shut me out of your life again. I know you love me as I love you, you do not want to do this."

All the pleading in the world from her right now would make no difference. He knew she was right. He had promised her that he would never push her away again the way he had when he had found out about Michelle, and the night at the AA meeting so long ago. But this was different and she had to know that. She had kissed another man, the one thing that John just couldn't get over and forget. Then she had hidden it from him and let him find out from the horses mouth. Jeff had been the one to bear all and while what she had said confirmed what Jeff had said, it made no difference in his heart right now.

She had betrayed him and that was something he just could not forget.

"I don't care what I said before Trish. I meant it then but right now I can't bear to look at your face because all I see in it is the lies and the pain that hearing about this from Jeff fucking Hardy has caused me. I need you to get out of here and just don't come back. When I think the time is right to talk about this I will come to you but until then I think its best for all of us if you got the hell away from me."

She did not want to listen to him but at the same time she did not want to push him any further then she had already done. He was hurt and in pain and all she could do now was hope to God that he would come back to her and their babies and they could move on with their lives the way God intended them too. She just couldn't live her life, or live with herself if he didn't. The thought of being alone without him because of what she had done was just too much to bear.

"I'll go but please John, before you make any rash decisions, please remember that I have and will always love you. It won't change because you push me away or because you need to be alone. The love will never die."

She touched his arm gently as she passed by him, pulling away quickly and retreating through the door. IF what he needed was time then she was going to give it to him but she did not like it. Not for one damn minute.

Damn you Jeff Hardy.