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Summary: John has been sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison and away from the woman he loves. Trish is adapting to life without John, trying to stay strong for the sake of their newfound love. Can they survive the ultimate test to their relationship, one that neither of them expects or is prepared to fight?

Authors Notes: I am taking another break in the regular music of this story and adding in another song that fits where I am taking this chapter. The song is Whiskey Lullaby and the version I am using is by Rex Goudie featuring Melissa O'Neil.

Two Months Later

He entered the door to his apartment, same he had done so many times before. This time he was nervous though because the last time he had been here, it had been when he walked in on his girlfriend fellating his best friend. As he silently walked the halls now, he was aware that deep down inside he was looking for the same noises he had heard that day.

It was supposed to feel different, him being a virtual free man having done the entire six months in prison and now being on the outside. But it didn't and he knew why.

Because in about two weeks you are going to become a father and you are in a different part of the world from her right now.

He couldn't bear to even think her name out loud, let alone say it. He had not spoken to her since the day that he had thrown her out of the prison, letting her walk out and most likely into the arms of the man that awaited her. Jeff Hardy.

Was it a mistake on his part the way things had gone down? Yeah probably, but at the end of the day she had kept something as big as kissing Jeff from him and he knew deep down that after what Michelle had done and put him through, there would be no way that it could ever happen again.

Admit it, you miss her and wish you could be In Toronto with her now.

His mind of course was right on target. She was due any day now really, despite what the due date told them and he didn't want her to be alone when the time came. He wanted to be the one there with her, walking her through each and every step like he even had the slightest clue as to what he was doing. But he couldn't be there because it had been him that had pushed her away and she had for once listened.

He wished she had pushed him the way she used too, made him keep her around. He wished that she had enough strength in her to fight for what he believed they had together. He had been wrong in assuming that obviously because she hadn't even reached out through a phone call or letter. As far as she was concerned, he might as well have died in that prison.

She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.
She broke his heart. He spent his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time,
But he never could get drunk enough you get her off his mind,
Until the night

God how he wanted to shut the world away from him and drown himself in the sweet warm taste of alcohol. He had promised himself not so long ago that he would never drink again but at that time he thought he was set for life. Finally finding the woman he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with. It only helped the cause that she was having his children.

Children. More then one, twins. His.

He looked at the phone, cradled in the base but yet loudly screaming out to be used. How easy would it be to pick up the phone and just let his fingers do the walking until he had her on the phone, in his ear, his heart? How he wanted so much to be able to cave in right now and find out how she was and if she needed him as much as deep down he needed her. He wanted to punish her, that much was obvious but hadn't she been punished enough? It had been two months now, time enough for her to move on if she had wanted too, or time enough to at least rid her heart of the ache she surely felt.

She hadn't meant to kiss Jeff. That was what she had said. That it had been a goodbye for the two of them, to a past that was better left in the past. But why was it more to him? They had a connection, having been pregnant together before the terrible loss and while he had that same connection with her, theirs ran just a little too close to home.

If there was ever a man that could take her away from him, it was Jeff and deep down as much as he knew it, he was sure that she did as well. He was a threat to their love, no matter how strong it seemed at the time and he would forever be that.

Why did she hide it all from me? Did she really think she was doing me good by doing so?

With the urges inside of him now, the dark place he was heading for full steam ahead, he knew that what she had believed had indeed been accurate. She had been trying so hard to prevent this moment from even taking place and in doing so had created the moment. He was here, alone in his empty apartment because she had tried so hard to keep the darkness away from him while was rotting in prison.

But was it all her fault? Did he not hold some of the blame here? If he had not been driving someone else's car that night in Toronto he never would have been near the accident at all and would never have done to prison, at least not long enough to mention. But he had taken someones car and driven it drunk and Jeff had come back into her life and had made her confront the past with no one around to protect her from it.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away her memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees.
We found him with his face down in the pillow,
With a note that said: "I'll love her till I die."
And when we buried him beneath the willow,
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

It was his fault and there was no longer any way to deny it. He knew he had to do something about it but deep down he was scared that it was too late to do much of anything. He had let her walk away from him without so much as a goodbye kiss and now two months later it was too late to come back and beg her forgiveness.

He bent down to the cabinet and pulled out the bottle. The one that he knew by name and taste. The one that now felt like a warm pistol in his hands, just waiting to be fired. He needed this so bad, to dull the aching in his heart, to push the woman that invaded his dreams away from him and to protect his own broken heart.

He unscrewed the cap and tossed it on the coffee table that lingered there, the remnants of his relationship with the ever volatile Michelle McCool, and he had to turn away from it. The memory of what his heart had been through was just too much to bear. He wanted to run from the room, run from the entire apartment but he knew that deep down he had nowhere else to go.

Burning bridges is something that never got old no matter how many times you did it and now as he sat alone, letting the lukewarm liquid coat his lungs on the way down he knew that there was no way it would ever change. He had pushed his family away after the accident just as they had done to him and then Michelle. But most of all, the one that hurt the most and would forever leave a bad taste in his mouth was Trish, with her angelic face, really living up to the nickname of Wish. He had done wrong by her throughout the entire time they had known each other and there was no way to ever make that back.

He really had burned his bridges with her. He only wished that whatever she was feeling right now did not compare to what he was going through now. He really hoped she had moved on.

With one more swallow of the brown liquid he threw himself back onto the sofa and stared at the ceiling, visions of a very pregnant Trish dancing through his mind. The way she glowed with the light of new life within her and love for him.

The more he drank the darker his heart became and without realizing it he closed his eyes and began to let the drink take over his soul.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.
For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.
She finally drank her pain away, a little at a time,
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind,
Until the night.

"Are you going to the prison today when he's released?" Shawn asked her, taking her hand into his as they sat on her sofa together, rehashing again just what the hell she had been thinking kissing Jeff.

"He wouldn't want me there Shawn. He told me that the last time we spoke. What I did with Jeff was something that I knew deep down was unforgivable, no matter how it was between Jeff and I. I made a huge mistake and there is really no way to fix it."

"If you go there you can fix it Trish. He doesn't want this, he just is reeling with a broken heart."

She stood from the sofa then, letting Shawn's warm hand fall down to the cushion she had just vacated. "What do you expect me to do here Shawn? If the man will not let me anywhere near him and told me in no uncertain terms that he does not want me or his babies around him, what do I do?"

She was at her wits end. Mostly because her heart wanted to run to him and to tell him, show him that it was always with him and Jeff had never had it. But that wouldn't be the total truth. A time all those years ago Jeff had been her heart and she had lived for him but since John had entered her life, showed her what real love was, there was no doubt in her mind that what Jeff and her had once had was long gone. The kiss really had been a goodbye whether John saw it that way or not.

"You can fight! Damn Trish I have known you for years and you have never once backed down from a challenge. John Cena is your challenge right now and if anything I say matters to you I say that you fly to Boston if not going to the prison and you make him see that."

Shawn's words from earlier that day still stung in her subconscious and she couldn't shake them. He was right, she was never one to give up on something when it seemed to hard. She had never done that in her career and she had never planned on doing it in her love life either.

He had long since been released from the prison and had gone directly back home to Boston, the place where she knew he felt the most at peace and at rest. What could she possibly do now anyway? He was a million miles away?

You can fly there and tell him that you made a mistake and that you love him.

"No damn you I can't do that." She shouted out loud to the empty sounding voices in her head. She knew how crazy it must look to see herself screaming at nothing but she no longer cared how she looked. She was just going through the motions anyway.

She went to doctors appointments, making sure the two babies had the healthiest beginning they could ever have, no matter if their father was a part of it or not. From there she shopped for the baby furniture and put it all together herself, realizing with clarity that this was how it was destined to happen for the rest of their lives. Everything she had to do she was going to have to do alone. And remain strong while doing it.

Why John? Why did you have to push me away right when I thought we could survive anything? We had almost gotten through the sentence and you would have come home here to me, with me. Why now?

The answer to that was clear of course. He had done it because his heart had been killed. Had been broken and would never be repaired again. She had done that to him and for that she blamed herself more then anyone would ever known. She had never thought herself to be mean and uncaring, but in this instance, there was nothing else she had been.

Should she have told him from the start about Jeff, their past and the baby that never was? Would it really have made a difference? She wasn't sure but she knew deep down that by not telling John about the kiss she had put the final nail in both of their coffins. She had killed a love that was stronger then any wrestling persona could ever be.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away his memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.
We found her with her face down in the pillow,
Clinging to his picture for dear life.
We laid her next to him beneath the willow,
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.

She stood from the sofa then and made her way over to the phone, her tea cup firmly in hand as she did. Slow movements, the babies moving around ferociously as she did, she stared at the light as it glowed in the darkness.

She picked up the phone, determined that she was not going to back down from this, determined to make things right again, not for herself but for the children she was only days away from having. Even if John wanted her out of his life, he wouldn't get it because in a way they had to deal with each other forever. She would not sit by and watch as he pushed himself further and further away from the children he had made. It was not fair.

As she dialed the numbers with trembling fingers, she stopped cold and a rush caught her off guard. She looked down instantly and in that moment the fear level in her heart rose to a fever pitch. For sitting there in the middle of the floor was a puddle, one that could only mean one thing.

Her water had broken and she was about to have the twins.