A/N: I'm surprised that many people thought that Lin knew about Kenji being Naru's son… in chapter 9 they left before they heard anything remember? I think Lin has some idea but since I won't be writing in his POV any time soon we'll just have to wait and see.
I wake slowly and a dull ache and throb starts some where in my body spreading quickly and mercilessly across my whole body, I suppress the ache and force myself to open my eyes. Several severely distorted figures hover around me as I try to get my focus back.
"Lin…" I mutter, identifying the first figure.
"Naru, how are you feeling?"
"Fine… Where's Mai?" I try to sit up but a sharp stabbing pain in my body stops me from moving. I wince and slowly lower myself back onto the bed.
"She's fine, she's just resting up in another room with Kenji." Lin informs me. My head clears and I can identify everyone in the room. Everyone had a sober face on. Even Madoka looks like she's at someone's funeral. I turn to Lin and ask him,
"I take that you've told everyone about Mai?" He nods his head once, and everyone turns to me expectantly. Madoka is the first to break the silence.
"Why didn't you tell us about Mai when you first found her?"
"I just found her, I don't even know what I should do. She was so exhausted; I just let her rest and sleep it off. I didn't know things were going to take such a turn." I close my eyes to block out the light that is starting to give me a headache. "Have you seen her?" I ask in general, not opening my eyes.
"Yes." Come the mummers.
"She hasn't even recovered from her first shock and now she has to get over this one. I didn't want to put any more pressure on her by telling you guys. I haven't even talked to her about that."
"Even asleep she looks strained; Naru tell me what's going on?" Houshou san asks anxiously.
"I'm… we'll resume this when I don't feel like I'm on the brink of death." I close my eyes shut and welcome the darkness.
---
It was a very peculiar sensation when I saw Mai and her son. Mai looks almost the same as she did seven years ago with the exception of all those marks and lines on her face telling the world of her strains. Her son sleeping soundly in the next bed, almost the perfect blend between his mother and Naru. Stabs of jealously ravage my heart as I watch him sleep. Why was Mai chosen over me? I don't quite see why she is so much better than I ever was and ever will be. It's quite plain to me that he was Naru's child, but I wonder why everyone hasn't made that connection yet. I steal a glance at Lin and I'm pretty sure he's worked that out already but he isn't letting anyone in on the secret. To get Lin to tell you something he doesn't want to share would be like trying to get blood out from a rock.
I turn away from them and walk stiffly out of the room hiding my face in the sleave of my kimono. Lin follows me out in silence, once outside I turn to him.
"He's – " Before I can finish Lin cuts me off.
"I know. I guessed from the start but nothing can be confirmed until either Mai or Naru tells us. For now we'll keep our opinion to ourselves." Madoka exits from the ward and walks towards us.
"That boy, does he…?" She asks us uncertainly.
"Do you feel that way too Madoka?" Lin asks her gravely and she nods in confirmation.
"We've have had our suspicions as well, I suppose it's just waiting for Naru or Mai to confirm that with us." Bou san says, adding to the conversation as he steps out of the ward with Ayako behind him.
"I'm just glad that she's safe and she's been found." Bou san admits with a sigh of relief. "We'll need to call John to fly over as soon as he can. He'll be so happy that we've found Mai. It's great that Mai's back, with someone special as well."
I leave the group quietly and take a seat in the waiting room, just stewing in my own thoughts.
Why do I feel so jealous over Mai and Naru? Is it coming from my attraction and attachment to Naru? I think it is, but there's something wrong about that… I can't help but feel that I'm wrong in that deduction. Its not like I can say I love him, but I am very attached and fond of him… If that isn't it then what is it? Why am I still feeling jealous after so many years? I've gotten very successful, rich, famous, but why do I still envy Mai? I wish I could say that it's because she has and always will have Naru's affections, but that isn't the main reason. There's something nagging me…
"What's with the look Masako?" Bou san takes the seat next to mine and leans back. Age has taken its toll on him and fine grey hairs are starting to show at his temples along with fine lines creasing his face where all his emotions have shown.
"Nothing… just thinking."
"Still jealous about Mai eh?" I turn sharply at his flippant comment.
"It – it – it's not that!" I blush and look away. I can't be that transparent can I? I'd like to think that I'm more mature and sensible than Mai is.
"Be happy with your lot Masako. Because what other people have come at a very high price, which you might find that you can never pay. Mai's price is probably one of the highest she'll ever have to pay. She's had to pay with her whole life, all her energy and attention is her payment. And she can't stop. She has an eternal responsibility, that maybe you understand maybe you don't. Either way the price we pay for everything we have is set to what we can give. She can pay the price of what she has; therefore she has what she has. I'm not saying you have any less than she does, or that your abilities are of a lesser value than hers. On the contrary, I'm just saying that whatever we can pay we are given. In life it's always a give-take relationship."
Bou san is right of course; I would never be able to devote my life, my being to another person. If I had to it'll be chains shackling me, as a punishment for taking what I can't pay for. But I suppose I envy Mai for being able to pay the price that asks her of her everything.
"She's amazing isn't she?" I ask, not particularly aiming the question to Bou san.
"And you think that is because?" Bou san asks me kindly.
"She can care so much for another person, even giving everything she has. And yet still live a life, doing all this on her own no less."
"Don't you think she's getting tired now?" I turn to Bou san. I finally realise my true feelings as to why I envied Mai.
"Yes," I whisper, "That's why she came back. No that's why she was brought back."
"You understand now don't you?" He asks me in a fatherly way and I nod my head.
"But I still envy her." I admit with jealousy.
"Why is that Masako?"
"Because she has someone to love, and the whole world to love her." I reach up to my face and I'm surprised to find a clear liquid roll down my face.
"Wh… - wha… - what's this?" I swipe my hand across my cheek and I feel wet liquid collect on my hand.
"You're crying."
"No I'm not!" I deny furiously, "Why would I be crying?" I ask him defiantly.
"Because you feel sad?" Bou san offers and passes me a box of tissues. I pull out a few tissues and wipe my face with it, blotting my eyes.
"Why would I feel sad?" I ask ridiculing the notion that I'm sad.
"Because you feel that you have no one and no one will love you?"
"Rubbish." I mutter but more tears slide down my face and I know he's right. I pull out a watery smile and say to him,
"I think I know now why Mai liked you so much." I snivel pathetically, even I sound pathetic to myself. How bad must I sound to Bou san?
"You aren't alone you know. You've got everyone here. Even Naru. We're a family, in some weird distorted way. But we're still a family, and families don't abandon their own do they?"
"No, I don't suppose they do." I sigh and wipe off the last of my tears.
"Thank you Bou san. I'm sorry for troubling you."
"That is what family is for Masako. Come on, wipe that miserable look off your face and give me a smile." He smiles at me and I can't help but smile back. It's not such a bad thing I suppose, being in a family.
A/N: I'm not too sure if I should add on the next bit with this, but I decided against it since the next one is very different to this chapter. I know this is terribly short – just mainly about Masako, it didn't quite turn out the way I had originally planned it… (I don't suppose a lot of things go to plan…) but I found writing Masako having a heart attack over Kenji being Mai's and Naru's son a bit too OOC. So I just had this chapter where she just tells all basically, I also thought that the moment the SPR team sets eyes on Kenji they'd make an instant connection, I mean come on! More than half of them are psychics and the remaining two or three people are smart enough with an IQ of above 100. Also this chapter makes her a little more mature – for her to act like a 16 year old when she's 24 just isn't going to cut it. No matter how badly I wanted her to do that… maybe I should do an omake : P Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review too! Thanks for all the reviews I've been getting! It's helping me write and keep inspired! Also thanks to the school holidays I can devote more of my time to writing my fics.
This is the first time in about a week i was able to post this chapter as FF has been really unco-opterative recently... anyways, the next update should come out soon, that is if this allows me to upload documents at a later date... i was orginally supposed to upload this about a week ago but it wouldn't load my document for some reason...