Last chapter was too short to ignore. So I'll update anyway. So, 5 reviews after this chapter and then I'll update.
Clad in black like he usually is, my best friend, my secret crush, knocked on my apartment door. i was always so happy to see him. I opened the door and let him inside away from the chilly night air. "Hiei! It's so good to see you!" I said, fighting everything within me to hold the urge to hug him. "Hn." He said depressingly and politely took off his shoes. it wasn't a normal "hn" though. It had a quickness to it that wasn't normally present with his boring word. He sat on my couch and looked at me in the eye. "What what brings you here so late my friend?" I asked, avoiding looking back into his crimson orbs for fear I'd get lost and forgotten. To do so, I opened my fridge and grabbed some canned brisk tea. It was the only canned beverage that Hiei liked and was pretty well the only kink I carried for his sake. "I have...a question to ask. A favor more so." He asked hesitantly. "Oh?" I urged as i took a seat next to him, handing him the can; then opening my own. "what be it?" I asked, setting my tea on a coaster. He did the same after taking a long grateful sip. The then sighed.
"will You...Kurama..." He hesitated. I looked on, anxious to know. He looked like he didn't want to ask, but he made himself anyway. "Will you..be...my best man?" If I was mechanical, my jaw would now be in my lap. "Your...your...what?" I asked, trying to hide my fear. "My best man." he repeated, biting his lower lip.
It just happened. My biggest fear in all existence. I had to be sure. "You mean...You're..." I started but my voice gave out. "I'm getting married...Next month. Could you...?" He verified. Yep. My biggest fear. The man of my dreams, getting married to someone that's not me. What's more...He wanted me to be a major part of the ceremony and watch; no, HELP the love of my life get married to...! Who? Who is he...? "Who, Hiei?" He looked at me. "Mukuro." He said flatly. The manipulative bitch! Why I..! Err!
"Do...do you love her, Hiei?" He looked away, as if uncertain, but reluctantly replied. "I...guess." He said. I inwardly died. His voice had taken on a depressed sound. That was sadly my only glimmer of hope. I don't formally find joy in that tone. "Hiei, you guess? Or you...do?" I asked. He closed his eyes. "I'm not exactly...hnn." He abandoned the idea. "I guess I'm..." he added for an afterthought. I reassured him by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Well...she needs help with rule in Makai...and..." It's like he was just now putting together the pros. Maybe I would just have to hint to him the cons.
"And?" I asked. "And I...want to help her in any way I can...She's done so much for me. She wants me to be king..." He said as if finished. "So you're marrying her so she'll be happy?" I provoked. "...Yes." He said.
My Yoko half smirked mischievously. "Hiei... You shouldn't---" "I know what you're going to say. But...This is the way that I want it. I'm finally giving back to her, and besides. This way I'll be of some good to Makai too. I can be happy with her so please. Don't judge me...support me. Please." He said standing. "What do you say? And at the very least...could you at least come?" He asked, handing me an invitation. What was I supposed to say? No Hiei, I don't want to go to your stupid wedding!...? No...I couldn't say that..."Sure thing. I'd be honored..." I said, accepting the invitation. "...to be your best man, my friend." Pain swelled up inside me.
He smiled in relief. He walked back to his shoes, throwing his empty tea can in the trash on the way. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry to leave so quickly, but I have more invitations to hand out." He said. This is the first time I was glad to see his hand on the door knob in a leaving gesture. "...Ok..." I said. That's all I could.
He opened the door and paused. He looked at me. "Kurama?" I looked back, tears unnoticably forming in my eyes. "Thank you. For everything you've done for me. Some day, I hope to find a way to repay you as well." He said as a last note. I fake smiled and nodded. "Anything for you, Hiei." I said, not lying at all. He smiled again and was gone withing the next instant.
A tear slid down my cheek, but I wasn't crying. The first thing I did was walk to the kitchen and take a blade in my hand. It was like I was watching a movie; my body was moving with out me conscincously telling it to. I could only watch as my right hand slid the stainless steel blade across the soft pale flesh of my left wrist.
One...two...three...four cuts I made before I realized I was committing a sin. I practically threw the knife into the sink and ran to my bathroom to stop the bleeding. When it had stopped, I put home grown ointment on it and bandaged it. Kami...what do I do? I looked at my now bandaged left forearm. Both of my arms shook as I pondered how I would cope now that the one I planned on courting is already being courted. I tried desperately to calm down. The best I managed was making myself believe he was happy with her and that he'd be better off this way with a woman.
The 'woman' thought was my undoing. I began thinking hysterically. "What was I thinking? What gave me the right to think that just because I love him he automatically loved me?" I sobbed. "What...exactly gave me...the right...to accuse Hiei of being homosexual, just because I was so? " I cried. Now, more than ever, I hated myself. I could never hate Hiei. It wasn't his fault that his so called 'best friend' just so happened to have the former life of a horny nympho Yoko that just so happened to like to play with both genders. Add that desire to a human's emotions, and you get a lovesick...puppy, for lack of a better word. Yeah...some best friend I was...
I breathed as evenly as I could manage. "It was just a crush. JUST a crush. On Hiei...Yeah...and now it's over..." Yeah right. No wonder they call it 'crush' eh?
I wiped my eyes and shakily stood and put my supplies in their spot and made my way back out to shut the apartment down for the night. I finished my tea and went to bed. Will I ever tell Hiei my true feelings? No. Most likely not. He'll remain in the dark on that one. Forever.
OoOoO
That was a little longer, no? I suppose you could fuse them and call it chapter one huh. lol. Please, PLEASE review. I also need to know the name of Mukuro's first 'right hand man' the one before Hiei if y'all can help me with that. Is is Kiren?...Me no know...Anyway. Please review. I'll post the next chapter as soon as I get a reasonable amount of reviews. Please and Thank you!
Karen Kasai