1/29/05
Well, I just saw the preview for next week's new episode last night, and it gave me a bit of a creative burst (I think). Anyways, this'll probably make you think I'm a little too obsessed with Teen Titans. That preview freaked me out. I felt physically sick to my stomach when it showed Raven at the part with her sleeves torn off or whatever and with the red S on her arms and head. Raven is my favorite character by a long shot (if you couldn't tell by my stories) and so now I am nervous as hell about what is going to happen to her… I'm gonna be pissed if she dies or something.
Sorry about that, but I'm honestly not gonna be able to sleep for a while because of that… so here goes the next chapter.
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It was two days after Starfire's death, and nobody had really spoken since. Raven wandered the halls, unable to read or even meditate. Her scars burned fiercely, and her emotions were rising. Every now and then something would explode nearby.
The others were acting about the same… except for Robin. He had locked himself in his room, refusing to speak to anyone.
Paper flowers…Raven felt lost… everything was wrong with this team now… and to make it worse, Terra had come back, which probably meant Slade had as well.
Paper flowers…After another circuit through the hallways, she stopped in the entrance of the living room, looking at the couch. The blood had long since dried, and nobody had seemed interested in cleaning it.
I linger in the doorwayOf alarm clocks screaming,
Monsters calling my name.
This was all a major wake up call for the Titans. Not only had a friend killed herself, but another was hurting herself, and an old enemy had returned. Raven could nearly hear Terra taunting her…
A lamp exploded nearby. Raven shook her head, and walked into the bathroom, hoping a shower would calm her down. The hole Terra had been blasted through admited the wind, which swirled around her, bringing with it memories of Starfire…
Let me stayWhere the wind will whisper to me;
Raven entered the bathroom, pulling her clothes off as if in a trance and turning on the water. When it was warm, she climbed in, closing her eyes and trying hard to go back to the nothingness which she was known for. She listened to the water falling, hearing the differences it made hitting the curtain, the walls, and her own skin.
Where the rain dropsAs they're falling
Tell a story…
Raven suddenly felt her world tip. The life of her friend… she was responsible for it. Everything that had happened recently… it had all been because of her.
Raven slipped on the slick floor of the tub, landing hard and not bothering to stand up. She just stared up at the ceiling, feeling the water and drowning in her thoughts…
She was alone… alone in a world of her own creation. And nobody else could ever make her leave it.
In my field of paper flowers,
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me.
Someone knocked on the door frantically. She didn't know who it was, nor did she care. She simply stared off into oblivion.
"Raven, are you in there?" Beast Boy shouted. She frowned. He sounded like he was scared. Still she did not answer.
There was a loud crash as the door flew open, landing on the ground. Beast Boy was a gorilla, his arms raised. He had just knocked the door clean off its hinges.
"Raven, you ok?" he demanded as he changed back and rushed in. When he saw her, he blushed and turned away, "Sorry."
Normally she would've been pissed at him… but not now. Not today.
"What do you want?" she asked, barely even moving to cover herself. The past few days had shown her the pointlessness of such things.
"I heard a thump, and I thought you might've been hurt," he said. He walked out, still blushing, "I'm sorry."
Raven watched him leave, "You don't have to worry about me."
"What do you mean?" he said, turning in exasperation to stare into her eyes, as though trying to find out what she was thinking, "In case you haven't realized, Rae, Starfire is dead. We've got to worry about each other, now more than ever."
Don't say I'm out of touchWith this rampant chaos
Your reality.
"Beast Boy, I understand that," she said, "But I don't need you to worry about me… that'll just make things harder for me… and you." As she spoke, the sink exploded, sending fragments flying in all directions.
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge:
The nightmare I built my own world to escape…"You have the luxury of examening this and thinking about it, Beast Boy… But if I do, my emotions will take over me. I've been forced to accept it without question, and in a way, forced to not believe. It's driving me mad!" she clutched her head as she finished, feeling her stomach drop out as if she was on a rollercoaster.
In my field of paper flowers,
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me.
Beast Boy looked at her a moment longer, and then slowly exited the bathroom, wishing he could do something to help her.
That night Robin stood up on the ceiling of the Tower. His leadership had failed. The Titans were breaking, and he should've been able to stop it… Batman would've been able to. Any good leader would've been able to.
He stared up at the stars, searching for the one that held the planet Tamaran in its orbit. He was lost and alone now. A leader without anyone to lead… or maybe a man without a leader. He wasn't sure which anymore. He just knew that, without Starfire, it was completely meaningless.
"Why couldn't I stop her?" he screamed to the city skyline, not caring who heard, "I know I could've!"
He fell to his knees, grabbing his hair and pulling in insanity, depression, and guilt. Tears fell from beneath the mask, glinting in the moonlight, and he screamed as all remnants of sanity left him.
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming,
Cannot cease for the fear of silent night…
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming:
The goddess of imaginary light…
He wished he could be with her… and he knew soon he would be. The girl, the goddess, whom he had come to love, was now gone. But not forever. He would be reunited with her; they all would.
Cyborg stood down by the grave, staring at it and knowing that the team probably wouldn't survive this ultimate challenge. Even the betrayal of Terra didn't come close to this.
He heard Robin scream, and looked up at the Tower. He didn't know what was wrong… but at the moment he didn't care.
"Starfire," he muttered, "Its all been shot to hell…"
A shooting star flew across the sky briefly… and then all was calm again.
In my field of paper flowers,
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me…
Raven still lay in the bath tub, the water having turned cold long ago. She shivered, then stood and stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself. The door still lay on the ground, but she stepped over it and walked towards her room. It wasn't real. None of this was.
Starfire would be back… Raven knew that the rest would see the truth, that it was all a game, or a joke.
Paper flowers…In her heart, she knew it was a lie. It was all real. And it was going to rip the team apart.
Paper flowers…………………………………………………………………………………………………
Well, that's it for this chapter… And I'm not sure how good it was. Not as good as I wanted. Oh well. I'm still kinda concentrating on that preview…