As was the ritual, Catherine showed up on Grissom's doorstep at 9:00 am for breakfast. He was in his kitchen, preparing his special omletes for them. When he heard her at the door, he called out to her to come in. She wandered into his space, watching him as he flipped the eggs. Then she went into her screwdriver making mode. By the time the drinks were ready he was serving up their plates, which he carried to the table. They settled in for the meal. As Catherine watched him, she thought he seemed unusally quiet and pensive. Wonder what he's thinking? she mused to herself. But to be fair, she wasn't feeling especially talkative either. So they ate in an almost comfortable quiet.
Gil was unusually pensive. He hadn't slept well at all. He tossed all night trying to decide what should come next. He'd intended to play out a mini courtship but his emotions were getting ahead of him. Jim's declaration of his intentions had only made things worse. So much of what Jim had said had hit home with Gil. Why would Catherine want him? They had danced around each other for years but never seemed to quite connect. And then with all that he'd gone through with Sara, he wasn't sure he would be good for Catherine. But if he hadn't been with Sara, he doubted that he would have ever opened himself to his true feelings for Catherine. She seemed to want something more from him than just friendship. And judging by her responses to him physically the last few days, he knew that there wouldn't be a problem with that side of the relationship. But would he ever be able t o open himself to her enough? She already knew him better than anyone else...she had spent years figuring him out. And even when she didn't understand him, she still stuck with him. But would that be enough or would she get tired of his reticence? He needed her; of that he had no doubt. And he loved her...had for years. He just never thought he stood a chance with her. She was everything he was not. She was open...out there, engaging, warm, people savy, and fearless. People knowing him scared him, as did all the emotions associated with them. He knew he came across as cold and unfeeling much of the time; he had carefully built that image. And he had long ago hung out the 'closed' sign. Catherine had ignored it though. She never let him get away with it. It always infuriated him and made him love her that much more. And he was at a point in his life where he had to admit to himself that he was, for the first time, very lonely. He watched couples with envy, something that never occurred to him before. He wanted people, a select few people, in his life. He wanted to be close to someone...wanted to love and be loved. His work wasn't enough, he needed more. So why the hell was he playing this stupid game? Why didn't he just tell her how he felt?
Catherine was thinking about last night. He had been so amourous at times and then retreating and hiding behind his rules of courtship. She knew the whole idea of relationships scared him. She had marveled after his relationship with Sara had been revealed. How had she broken through all his defenses? Catherine had watched Gil deftly avoid serious human contact for years. She knew that she had been given liberties that no one else enjoyed. One of the most obvious had been his gradual acceptance of her touch. Everyone who knew Grissom knew that he didn't like to be touched. But Catherine often patted his arm, touched his shoulder, even occassionally hugged him. And he never flinched or shied away from her. So what was this new game about? Was he testing her? Or is it just more Grissom mystique? She really didn't know what to think. But if he didn't let nature take its course soon, she was going to take matters in her own hands. She liked to tease as much as anyone, but he was driving her mad.
After finishing the meal they moved to his couch. Habit was taking over. Usually Catherine would lauch into small talk at this point but she didin't feel like small talk today. So she sat with her feet on the couch and her head propped on her knees. Gil snuck a look at her face and decided that he needed to take the lead. Time to quit being a coward, he told himself.
"Catherine..."
She looked at him. His eyes wouldn't quite meet hers. He seemed to have something important to say but was struggling with it. So she tried to stay nuetral and calm. She knew better than to jump in.
"Catherine, I can't do this anymore." Oaky, he thought, you got it started...
"Do what, Gil?" What was he getting at? Did he want things back the way they were before? She had pushed him too far with her proposal...
"Courtship..." his eyes slowly made their way to hers, fear was rampant. "Last night was too much ...trying to keep what I feel, well...under control. I can't do that anymore. I love you, Catherine. I've loved you for so long and never dreamed you might have similiar feelings for me. But these past few days, I think you do...maybe. I'm tired of being alone, Catherine. I want to have someone in my life...and that someone is you. Please say you love me, Catherine...even if it is just a little."
"Gil...why are you so afraid? You know I love you. After Eddie, well...I'd hoped maybe you and I would...but then it didn't happen and so I tried dating other men. But it never worked...never stood a chance; they weren't you. I've spent most nights going to bed and dreaming that you were there, wanting you there...needing you. And now you tell me that you've felt the same... I feel like such an idiot. If only I'd done something sooner..."
"I'm the idiot Catherine..." And then he slid off the couch on to one knee in front of her.He took her left hand and gently kissed it. Then he slid a ring on her finger as he spoke, "Catherine, you are the light of my life, you brighten my darkest moments, give me balance when I'm unsteady, kick me when I'm being dense. You make me step outside my bubble and participate in the world.You are smart, caring, beautiful, sexy and I've loved you from the first time I met you and I want you with me for the rest of my life. Catherine, Please marry me?"
She couldn't belive what he was saying. All the years she had wanted to hear those words from him. How long ago had she given up on it ever happening? And now...here he is on his knee
Gil took her silence badly. His face changed from a mix of fear and hope to total despair. Physically he began to withdraw. Catherine snapped out of her stunned state and quickly blurted out, "Yes! Of course..."
His eyes met hers...joy overtaking his expression. His mouth was on hers in a flash. His kiss grew from exhuberance to passion almost as quickly. All of his senses were concentrated in the kiss as he lost himself in the warmth of her reception. She was taken by surprise and felt almost overwhelmed by him. Never had she suspected that he was capable of that kind of release. She felt all his years of desire and frustration. And she matched them. Slowly he came up for air. He slid up next to her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly as if she might escape. "Really? You really mean it...if you want to change your mind do it now because I won't let you later."
"No, no changing my mind. I mean yes, Gil. You're stuck with me. But...can I look at the ring now?"
He loosened his grip just enough for her to pull her hand out. She held it up to admire the ring. The stone was a mate to the necklace he had given her, on a larger scale. Another star sapphire that was surrounded by small diamonds. Diamond chips sat on the band. The diamonds and the star in the blue gem seemed to play off each other. "Gil...how long have you had this ring?"
"I bought it when I bought the necklace...right after you gave up on Eddie." He watched her face for a reaction.
She turned to him and studyed his face. Complete honesty was mixed with longing. "All this time..." She kissed him. Her lips felt warm and welcoming to him. He'd wanted those lips for so long and now...
The kiss grew more intense as each open themelves to the explorations of the other. He could see her face flush with desire as she felt the heat rise within him. Reluctantly he pulled away from her lips and travelled down to her neck where he began to kiss and nibble. Her head went back and a deep sigh escaped heras she succumbed to his attention. Her breathing grew deeper and heavier. Her chest rose more with each intake of air. This didn't go unnoticed by him. His tongue travelled to her clevege as his hands made their way down her side to rest beside her breasts. "Ah, Gil...is this where our realtionship becomes sexual? Please say yes..."
He eased her back on the couch until she way lying down. He slowly raised her top to expose her abdomen, which he prompty began to nuzzle and kiss. This elicited a groan form her. Her hands found his his head and she began to run her fingers through his curls. The they slid down on either side of his face.
He stood and held out his hands to help her up.She stood, her hands finding his chest. He kissed her again as she reached beneath his shirt and found skin. Oh God, he feels so good, she thought. His breathing took on a heavier quality as he worked her top over her head to expose a very dainty, lacy blue bra. "Blue is your best color, Cath."
His hands cupped her breasts with his thumbs caressing the lace. He watched her face, happy with her reaction. Her hands found his buttons and soon his shirt was off as well. Her lips found his nipples and she began to lick and tease. His sharp intake of breath told her that he was enjoying her exertion. He found her clasps and her breasts were set free. As her bra slid down, his eyes widened at his view. "Cath," his voice was husky, "you ..." his eyes crept from her breasts to her eyes and then back. "You are so..." he gave up on words. He put his hands on either side of her face. HIs blue eyes looked directly into hers with the intensity of his feelings boring into her. Slowly, reverently his hands moved down beside her neck, his fingers caressing...pulling her into a kiss. This kiss was filled with awe. Slowly his hands moved to her breasts, cupping them tenderly, timidly. His lips soon followed. Circling her nipples with his tongue, he felt them harden. The reverbarations in her body told him that she was enjoying this. Stepping away, he took her hand and led her to his bedroom. There they lost the rest of their clothes and were soon on the bed. She was laying down and he was sitting over her, admiring all that he saw. She was doing some admiring of her own. He leaned up to kiss her and then began working down her body. Once again he found her nipples and teased her. Her hands were exploring him and found his ass. She'd wanted that ass for so long and now she had every intention of thoroughly checking it out. His reaction was imediate and hard for her to ignore, since it was pressing into her thigh.
She began to rub his cock with her thigh, moving it slightly to encourage his density. A deep, lusty groan escaped him. He tried to lean into her to still her motion but she didn't give up. HIs hand moved to her wet mound, which was very wet by now. She raised her hips to meet his hand. His fingers found their way between her folds and he began a massage that was gentle but very salacious. He eventually found her clit which he began to tease. His reward came as her juices flowed over his fingers.
Her hands were not quiet either. She found his rod and encircled it with her hand. Just her touch almost sent him over the edge. She used her thumb to stroke his head, finding his hot spot and working it. "Catherine, slow down..."
"And if I don't want to?"
"Then you'd better be ready..."
"I've been waiting for you for years..."
He needed no more encouragement. He was over her, his tool slowly finding its way between her legs. Again she rose to meet him. He found his way into her, pushing deep. Again her hands found his ass and she was squeezing and kneading. He went deeper, her hands pushing him more. Slowly he began to pull out, almost all the way out. She didn't let him stay there, but pushed him in again. He stroked her a few times, each time her reaction more intense. He loved the way she felt around him. Her warmth, the tightness of her, the way he fit inside her. He fought to keep himslef under control but he knew he was losing the battle. Suddenly he felt her squeezing his cock with her inner muscles and he knew she was coming. He began to pump now, with determination. His strokes were coming faster and with more intensity. She tightened around him more and he felt the warmth of her juices as they flowed more freely. Her fingers clawed his cheeks and she moaned his name as ecstacy overtook her. He couldn't hold on any longer. He exploded inside her, wave after wave of ejaculate firing into her depths, eliciting small gasps from her. All of his nerves were tingling. In all his dreams and fantasies he'd never imagined this. Everything felt so much more intense with her. But then he'd spent almost twenty years waiting too...
He eased down beside her, his hands gently rubbing her; his need to touch her still acute.Her hand rested on his chest as she turned toward him. Her leg intwined itself with his. He pulled her closer, holding her tightly to him. "I love you Catherine. I want you right here with me always. Don't ever leave me..."
"I'm not going anywhere, Gil. Especially after that! You are stuck with me now like never before."