--------

Risa stood in the bathroom brushing her hair. She glanced out the tiny window and saw nothing but a fine blanket of snow piling on the pane. It was bitterly cold today.

"Risa!"

Riku Harada appeared in the doorway, her short hair tied messily away from her face and a shirt with sleeves so long that they draped past her hands. Risa turned towards her, smiling.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where my bike went? I wanted to bring it into the shed so it wouldn't rust, but I can't find it outside."

Risa started. "Oh! Um...yeah, I saw it."

"Where?"

"Don't worry about it. I already brought it into the shed."

"Oh." Riku grinned, staring at her sister. "That was awful nice of you."

Risa shrugged, facing the mirror again. "Just a favor. No big deal."

"When did you have time to bring it into the shed?" Riku asked, seeming to wait expectantly.

Risa knew her sister wasn't trying to be accusatory; she just didn't know about her little excursion to Satoshi's place. And Risa didn't really want her knowing.

"I woke up early."

"Ah. Okay then." Riku turned to leave. "Breakfast is ready when you're done."

"Thanks, Riku."

--------

Satoshi locked the door behind him and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He checked his watch. 10:35 am.

He glanced out at the shoreline and saw the once clear, blue waves glean a dark, black color in light of the winter season. The snow beneath his feet made a beautiful contrast of blazing white. The cobblestone street completed the scenery with its simple shades of gray.

He walked down the street, the snow crunching with every step.

There was no place in particular that he wanted to go to.

He just needed to get outside.

--------

There was the sound of a door creaking open.

"Riku?"

After a moment Riku's face appeared around the door way to the living room. Risa was sitting on the couch, reading a book.

"Yeah?"

"Was that you opening the door?"

Riku stepped into the door way. She was wrapping a scarf around her neck, her large coat already draped around her shoulders.

"Yeah. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"To Daisuke's."

"Oh." Risa smiled. Riku sighed.

"Geez, you're such a little girl."

Risa's smile widened. "I know."

"I'm only going there to pick up Wiz. I promised Daisuke I'd take of him while their family is out of town for the day."

"You're going to bring Wiz here? I love him!"

"I know. I'll be back in an hour or so. I'm going to do some errands while I'm out." She paused on her way towards the front door. "Do you want to come?"

Risa waited a moment, thinking. She looked down at her book and turned a page. "No. I'm a little tired. I think I'll just stay in today."

"Okay. I'll see you later on then. I love you!"

"I love you too. Bye."

The door closed behind her. Risa stared at the empty hallway for a while before she looked back down at her book. The pages were black and white; words strung together in endless lines.

She closed it. She suddenly didn't feel like reading anymore.

Risa looked out the window. She was all alone in her house. Everyone had gone, either to pick up Wiz, on a business trip, or getting the car fixed. She didn't like the house when it was empty. But she didn't feel like going out either.

It was much too cold.

--------

He thought of Risa. She had left so early. He hadn't said goodbye.

But he knew she was fine. Riku had called him an hour ago to say thanks for caring for her and that she hoped it wasn't any trouble. He told her it wasn't.

He pictured Risa riding on the bike at night, coming to him. What a foolish thing of her to do, especially in the middle of winter. He wasn't worth her getting sick over.

There was a tingling sensation on his neck.

Satoshi glanced over his shoulder. Nothing.

But that couldn't possibly be right. He had the distinct feeling of being watched; of eyes searing into his back. He should know. He'd lived practically all his life with Krad's eyes hovering at the back of his mind.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and walked on.

That was the odd part about the feeling. As much as he wanted to deny it, Satoshi knew Krad's presence, and this…this feeling reeked of the monster.

But that was impossible.

He was gone.

--------

Ever since he first realized that Krad could dwell within his very DNA, Satoshi had been wary of his presence long before he ever physically appeared.

It was like having a parent scrutinizing your homework over your shoulder. Or even the strange pang of eyes watching you from across the room. Or even that uneasy knowledge of the shadowed monster residing deep within your closet.

He was always there, always bidding his time until he could come out. It was horrible, having him there inside, brooding, waiting. It was a sensation Satoshi never wanted to feel again.

The feeling of no privacy. The feeling of staring eyes.

The feeling of having a burden he did not want to bear.

--------

Risa frowned. She pulled back the sheer curtains, not trusting her vision.

She thought she saw Satoshi standing at the front gate.

But there, with the haze of the curtains no longer obscuring her view, she could see that unmistakable crown of blue hair through the bars of iron. Satoshi had his back towards the house, leaning against the gate. He was staring down at the ground.

Risa's confusion quickly changed into excitement and she smiled.

The very moment she wished to see him he was there, practically waiting for her. He was too good to her, catering to her every need all the time.

He was more than she deserved.

--------

He looked up again. Still nothing.

It had been so the entire time. The feeling of eyes. The sight of nothing.

The uneasy sensation had occupied him so much that he hadn't noticed that he'd walked all the way to Risa's house.

But he didn't want to disturb her. And he didn't want to annoy her.

But he didn't want to leave either.

--------

"Hello, stranger."

Satoshi glanced sharply over his shoulder, startled.

There she stood, her dark hair unbound and brushed smoothly around her face. She wore a warm, black coat and a pale blue scarf around her neck. She was smiling as she stared at him through the gate.

He felt a searing ache in his chest.

He didn't deserve her smiles.

"Excuse me," he said calmly, straightening to face her. "I didn't mean to intrude."

"You're not. You're outside the gate." Her smile relaxed into a serene grin as she walked forward, grasping the bars in her hands and gazing at him through the gap. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not the one who was out in the middle of the night while it was snowing."

Risa blushed. "Oh, well, you know. I kept you up. You might have been tired this morning."

He didn't need to answer. She knew he was perfectly fine.

"Thank you, Satoshi. Thank you so much." He stared at her. He had rarely ever been thanked for anything before.

Truthfully, he never thought he had ever done anything worthy enough.

"I didn't do much--,"

"Yes, you did." Her voice was extremely sincere. "Not many people would have taken care of me like you did."

He didn't say anything.

"Not many would have taken me in during the night and given me their bed to sleep in."

He still didn't say anything.

The red tinge on her cheeks deepened. "And…not many boys would have been such a gentleman."

He simply stared at her.

She gazed back into his eyes, her own round and wondering. This was a different feeling than the one he had for Daisuke. Niwa had been the first one to befriend him; the only boy brave enough to delve into his personal life simply to be his friend. Daisuke was special to him and always would be.

But Risa…

Risa made him feel things he had not known were capable for such as himself. She made his heart pound when they brushed hands, or made his breath shallow when she smiled. He found over these past weeks that he thought about her more often, and he had found the sound of her voice comforting. She was pretty, of course, but she seemed much more beautiful every time he saw her.

He craved her kiss.

And these were not things Satoshi Hiwatari was familiar with. He had lived a life where anyone he cared about either had to end up destroyed by his own hand or pushed away to save themselves. He had found little joy in the company of humans. Now, he discovered, he had all the joy he could ever want in one person.

She leaned forward against the iron bars, still watching him, still smiling.

But she had once loved Dark. She had loved him, no matter what she said, and he had been her first love.

Satoshi could never replace her first love.

"Satoshi…"

She reached a hand through the bars and brushed her fingers against his cheek. Her touch was so light and the gesture was foreign to him. He fought the desire to close his eyes.

"Yes?"

"…you look so much like Krad."

His hand shot out, his fingers closed around her wrist and he threw her hand away as if it scalded him.

"Ah! Satoshi!" Risa rubbed her arm where he had banged it unceremoniously against the iron bars.. She looked up at him through the gate, her eyes showing how hurt and embarrassed she was. "What's wrong?"

He only stared at her, his eyes wide in shock, fear and surprise. He had stepped farther away. The snow that had settled in his hair had shaken and fallen to the ground. Something dark and sinister wrapped tightly around his heart.

"What did you say to me?" he half-whispered.

Risa stared at him. Scared and concerned. "What?"

"What did you say to me?" He couldn't stand seeing her look at him with fear in her eyes, but what she had said was near unforgivable.

"What are you—Satoshi, what's wrong? I'm sorry if what I said offended you in any way…although I don't understand why…" She looked near tears. "I just said that you look so much older now." She dropped her head, staring at the ground. Her hand was rubbing the wrist he grabbed.

--------

There are those moments of silence that seem to last an eternity when all you want is for them to end. They come in pauses or in breaks, but, no matter what, they are always unwelcome.

They are the uncomfortable silences that happen when cruel realization dawns on our minds and we discover, for one dark, disturbing moment, that we are wrong.

And it is the understanding that we are wrong that makes us wonder if insanity has truly set in.

--------

She never felt so embarrassed or exposed in her life.

Standing there, head bowed, close to tears, with Satoshi staring at her.

Staring with blue, blue eyes.

She had made him angry.

Why?

She wasn't sure. But the look in his eyes…

Cold.

Hard.

Hatred.

Had he even heard what she said? It couldn't possibly be worse than it sounded.

He did look older. Older and even more handsome, if it were possible. She had meant for it to sound loving.

All Risa wanted to do was turn around and walk away. She was mortified. Humiliated.

Because his grip had been so hard and her wrist was already darkening with a bruise.

He was much stronger than he looked.

Or seemed.

He just didn't realize it.

--------

She turned to leave.

Satoshi pulled the unlocked gate open and stepped through.

"I'm sorry…"

"Hiwatari, don't. You shouldn't be…"

"You never call me Hiwatari."

She didn't answer to that.

"Risa, I really am sorry. I'm not…thinking right. My mind's scattered. I'm sorry."

She waited a moment before she turned to face him. Her eyes were glistening but they weren't full of tears. She seemed more embarrassed than hurt.

"What did you think I said?" Her voice was small, meager, almost as though she were bracing herself for another sudden attack.

He couldn't really tell her. He didn't want to think about it himself. But he could have sworn that was what she had said, and it had sent a vein of anger right through his body.

To be compared to Krad was a dark fear of his.

"I…nothing. It was nothing."

She stared at for a moment. He didn't look away.

The snow gathered on their shoulders, dusting them in white frost, chilling their skin through the fabric. If they stayed in the cold any longer they could get sick.

"Come inside." She turned her back to him and began walking towards her house. He didn't follow.

"No, I couldn't…"

"It's getting too cold. The storm might pick up again."

"I couldn't though…"

"Hey!" She was already halfway up the drive. She snapped her head around to glared at him. Her hair whipped about her face. "You already hurt me, Satoshi Hiwatari. The least you could do is listen to me!" She turned back to the house and marched up to the porch.

She opened the front door and stepped inside.

--------

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to come--,"

"What are you talking about?"

"Is anyone home?"

"No. Riku left a while ago. She's the only other person with me this week."

"So, no one."

"No. Will you come inside? You're letting the cold in."

"I shouldn't--,"

"Hiwatari…are you scared?"

"…"

"Get in here."

--------

To say that it was awkward being in the Harada household would be a cruel understatement. When Satoshi had visited Niwa months before it had already been a test of his social courage as well as his bravery. But this…this was Risa's home. Pretty, little Risa Harada's home…the mansion by the sea…the palace on the cliff.

He stood in her living room. It was too awkward to sit. Everything was so pristine. He felt out of place, despite the fact that his father owned a mansion far greater than this one could ever be. But he had always felt out of place there as well. He never did favor the wide, spacious burden of these houses.

"Here, drink this. You shouldn't stand out there in the cold like that." Risa came sauntering in the room carrying a steaming mug in each hand. She walked up to him and offered it over. He hesitated, but then took it after the steady gaze she kept on him.

"Thank you."

She didn't smile but, instead, nodded meekly and took a sip from her own mug. She moved away to take a seat on the sofa. Satoshi did not move. He simply stared at her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, for probably the millionth time. Risa cupped both hands around her drink and held it up to her lips.

"I know," she answered, and took a long pull from her tea.

--------

He stared at her. She sat with her head resting gently against the back of the sofa, lying slightly on its side. Strands of her hair spilled across her face and her legs were curled under herself for warmth. Her eyes were closed and lax, and she almost looked as if she were pouting; probably a feature she didn't know she did.

Her hand was clutching tightly to his shirt.

They had only been watching the movie not even an hour when she closed her eyes and fell asleep. It had taken the majority of the hour for her to get him to sit next to her, but the moment he did so she had succumbed to the pull of fatigue. Satoshi didn't know what to do. The television set was playing, the snow outside was raging, and he was stuck inside an empty house with Risa Harada sleeping next to him and anchoring herself to his side.

He leaned against the back rest and stared down at her.

He suddenly wondered if she were his girlfriend or not. The term sounded generic, but he still wondered. He had never had one, and, to be totally honest, never thought himself to have one in the future. Was Risa it? Did she see it in that light?

But he had hurt her.

He murmured something in her sleep and pulled, grabbing on tighter. Satoshi was taken aback by her grip and fidgeted, enough so that it roused her to open her eyes into small slits.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't meant to wake you."

"How long was I sleeping?" she asked groggily. He checked his watch.

"Half an hour."

"Sorry…I didn't mean to--,"

"You just fell asleep. If you're tired I could take you to your room and go home--,"

"No." She held on even tighter. "I don't want to be by myself. Riku isn't here," she explained dreamily.

"Risa…"

"I'm afraid of him," she suddenly said, closing her eyes and not really paying attention to the words leaving her mouth. "I'm afraid of him when he comes into my dreams."

"Who?"

"The angel…the angel with pure white wings."

Satoshi didn't move.

"With eyes of cold gold."

Satoshi still didn't move.

"And a voice with a laugh."

Satoshi remained still.

"And he always comes so close to hurting me." She felt him shift as he glanced down at her. "I'm always afraid that he'll do it before you come back…"

Satoshi spoke in a low, husky whisper. "I always came back in time."

"You didn't today." She unconsciously swiveled the wrist he had hurt. Satoshi looked at it, blank-faced yet still succeeding in looking utterly horrified.

"I'm sor--,"

"I know."