Beast Boy
6/3/05
No Entry
Raven
6/3/05
It's Raven. I'm back, and I wish I wasn't. I don't know much of what happened before I got back to this realm, but whatever it was, I hate it! Love's broken down. She's huddled up on the ground, crying, same as she has for the past few hours. I've been crying, too. Since I'm still slightly blocking her, though, I'm not quite so bad.
As I've said, I have no clue what happened before I got back. I don't even know how I got back. I was sitting there, in a place that looked disturbingly like Hell, when I felt something tugging at my mind. Not altogether comfortable. I was ripped back, causing a decent amount of pain, but what I saw next was enough to make me forget it.
The first thing I saw was Love crying. Then Trigon laughing, his back to me.
Then I saw Beast Boy in front of him, his body crushed. There was no blood, but it was obvious that nearly all his bones had been shattered and more than one had nearly punctured his green skin in the process. There was no doubt that he was dead.
Trigon felt me, then, and ran. We've just stayed here. Love hasn't moved since I got here. I don't want to. It's not fair! He looks like he was in so much pain when it happened. I need to stop, or I'm going to go completely. I think Love may have calmed down a bit. I'm going to ask her to tell me what happened in the battle, and to try and write it for me.
I just told Raven what happened. It's Love now. This is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. Beast Boy is dead, and it's my fault!
We were battling Trigon, doing a reasonably good job when I got distracted by Beast Boy. I hate to say it, but I did. Trigon had something to do with it, he took control of my mind. I felt his weighing down upon mine. And in that moment, he hit Beast Boy with everything he had.
Beast Boy fell. I heard snapping sounds, screams of pain, and I felt like I was being ripped apart. I reached out to anything, I needed to escape or I'd go insane, and I found Raven. She came back, and I broke down completely. That's all I remember, other than pain. I wish I had died instead of him. I don't think it was possible now. And I think he knew this was going to happen, but that doesn't make it any easier for me and Raven. I'm going to try and sleep now. Maybe if I can, I'll block out the pain for a while.
Back. Love's sleeping, though not altogether peacefully. I keep hearing her whimpering, and she is mumbling. I can't quite hear what she's saying. I don't think it's important. Probably blaming herself, like she did when she told me what happened. But it wasn't her fault. It was my fathers. I hate him so much! I've been told that it's impossible to truly hate your family, but I know that everyone who said that is wrong. I wish Trigon was an immortal. Death is too good for him. I want to keep him alive for eternity, in pain, so that he can possibly know what I'm going through. But since I can't, he will die.