Chapter 7: That Funeral

Well, a day had past with the usual, my family coming back and intruding in on the Livingston's lives, as well as mine.

I had like aunts I hadn't ever met coming in and hugging me and saying how much I look like my mom.

It's not that I didn't want to deal with them, but I didn't really care about anyone other than my aunt Caitlyn and my grandma from Lychburg, Leanne.

Although, my Gram didn't want to be there I don't think, because she kept herself secluded the whole time and resolved to talking to either me and Newt, or Newt's mom.

I swear I didn't see the fragile old lady talk to any of the Evans side of the family.

Then, later on I found out the truth, Newt's mom told me that she called her in because she had talked to Cory's mother, who had recently moved back in with Cory and his dad after law school, becoming a lawyer, and she said, for me to go legally with them for good, both needed to be present at court.

That is, unless someone offers to adopt me.

Well, the day of judgement had come. My mom's funeral was finally here.

Newt had gone to school that day and I was left at home by myself.

The whole day I sat in the room I was staying in and just stared out the window for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally, I heard a helicopter booming from outside.

"Hurricane Newt is here." I said sarcastically

"Hey dudette, where you be?" he yelled in the foyer.

I walked to the top of the steps and stared down.

"Right here."

I smiled this really obnoxious, but somewhat cutesy smile right then, I could feel it. I quickly went back to my signature look of a somewhat smirk.

He walked up the stairs and stood in front of me. And not just in front of me as in like, just talking to someone you know at the mall casually in front of me, but like four inches away from me in front of me.

I backed up a bit as he looked at me, "Are you ready…you know." He said

I nodded slowly feeling a lump rise in my throat. Not until this moment had I realized how close I was to letting go of my mom for eternity. It wasn't like she was going on a business trip for a week and a half and she'd eventually come back, she was never coming back.

I looked into my room and turned back at Newt, "I have to go."

He nodded and turned to go the opposite way into his own.

I went in my room and slid on that black dress. I put the sliver dressy sandals on my feet and let my hair out of its messy bun.

I looked at myself in a small mirror on the wall of the room. I ran my fingers through my hair until it fell in its natural straightness.

I walked downstairs and sat in the living room, staring at my black sequined back.

My reflection showed in the sequins and stared back at me.

I looked dead. I truly did, I had this vacant expression on my face and for some reason, I was pretty pale.

A few moments later, I was greeted my Mrs. Livingston.

"How are you doing?" she asked

I bitterly stared into the fireplace, "I'm about to go say goodbye to my mother for good, how do you think I feel?"

She looked a bit shocked at my tone and looked away.

My eyes fell in shame as I quickly apologized, "I'm sorry Mrs. Livingston, it's just…"

"Hard"

"That doesn't begin to describe it."

We arrived at St. John's United Methodist Church a while later.

I walked into the church and stared around, it was a small building and not all the seats were filled.

I looked around and locked eyes with Cory and his parents. I smiled at Cory half heartedly and he replied with a nod in my direction.

Craig Burkawitz was in the audience as well, along with Ambassador Parhoom and Meena, Ms. Samuels and some other secretaries from the White House I had met at Christmas parties, some secret service guys, my horribly stand outish family Jason and his dad, and much to my surprise, the president. I knew my mom said she had met him, but I didn't know she worked that close to him, I mean seriously.

I took my seat on the family side and stared at my feet.

When the pastor was done, he asked for me to give my mother's Eulogy.

I walked over to the podium and looked over at everyone.

My aunt had lost it again, bless her heart.

I looked for something or someone I could lock in on, besides my mom's face, because even though it only looked like she was sleeping, I knew the truth.

I finally found Newt and looked at him and then scanned the room again.

I sighed and began my speech.

"My mother was a really, really good person. She did everything she could for me. When my dad went missing back when I was nine, she stood by me in her time of grief and helped me get through. I know if my dad were here right now, or knew about my mom's sudden passing, he'd be heartbroken and devastated as I know he loved her a lot. The pastor told me to tell about some memories I had with my mom, there are way too many to tell about them all, I will tell you one that stands out. When I was six or seven, my mom got a call from my friend Jason's mom," I paused and looked out at him, he smiled and looked away, knowing what I was going to say, "Jason had just fallen from a pretty high tree branch, attempting to use some sort of spy equipment on the neighbors and had broken his arm. I was scared to death and was bawling crying and freaking out as any six year old would, running around and flailing my arms about asking if Jason was going to be alright. She bent down at my level, hugged me and said 'Don't worry sweetie, it's in God's hands, Jason will be okay, he's only six, God has way too much in store for him to be seriously hurt."

By the time I had said my mom's quote, tears had started falling freely down my face.

I looked down at my mother's face, remembering that brief moment in my six years of life.

It was awful knowing she was never coming back, that I was never going to be called sweetie by any other woman out of love again, that I would never have that sort of motherly love again.

"And what I learned for her the most is that God has a plan for everybody. Even me, a fourteen year old girl, no parents, not many friends, and not knowing where I'm going in a few days. No matter what or where, Nashville, Lynchburg, Washington DC, anywhere, I'll be watched over, thanks guys."

I got down off the small pedestal and wiped my eyes.

A few minutes later, the pastor called me and Newt up.

I knew what was coming and I silently wondered if I'd get through it.

Newt began to play his guitar.

I held the mic to my mouth nervously.

I miss you,

I miss your smile,

And I still shed a tear,

Every once in a while,

And even though it's different now,

You're still here some how,

My heart will let you go,

And I need you to know,

I miss you, sha la la la,

I miss you.

I hit that one chorus and lost it, I began to bawl crying as Newt for some reason, kept playing.

I knew it looked bad for me to cry while I was supposed to be singing, but God, I couldn't take it any more. I had finally bent to the point of breaking.

I cut the mic off and walked back down to my seat.

I looked up at Newt, who had sat his guitar up on a stand.

He had tears in his eyes, but never let them fall.

After the funeral was over, I told Mrs. Livingston that I wanted to go with Jason for a bit.

I got in the Stickler's car and looked out the window blankly.

"Hey, you okay?" Jason asked me, putting a hand on my shoulder

"No!" I exclaimed, "My mom is never coming back, I am an orphan for God sakes, a damn orphan, do you know how that feels?"

He eased away from me and looked away.

"I'm so sorry, Jase." I said, feeling the tears run to my eyes.

"I understand."

He didn't. He never would unless his mother died. He would never understand the feeling.

"To make you feel better, you aren't technically an orphan, you still have a chance at maybe having a dad somewhere." He said, half smiling

"Yeah Jason, like my dad's going to show up on the Livingston's doorstep tomorrow saying that he had been there all along!" I said bitterly

"You never know." He said

I smiled at him. Jason had always kept things positive. Whether it be that Meena will see Cory for what Jason thinks of him as a phony, or just when my cat ran away when I was nine, that he'd come back.

Later that day, or more like that night, I went back to the Livingston's house still feeling hard about my mom.

I went in, avoiding Newt who wanted to talk about the whole thing and went into my room, slammed the door shut and locked it.

I fell face down on my bed and sobbed.

"Why did you take her God, you knew I needed her, you knew she was all I had left and you still took her!"

I heard a tap on the door.

I ignored it and went back to crying.

"Rebel, it's me, please let me in."

Let him in. That's what I trouble I had the whole time, letting him in, emotionally and literally.

He said the same thing again.

Finally, I resolved in yelling, "NO! GO THE HELL AWAY!"

"Rebel, please! Come on dudette."

I rolled my eyes and sobbed some more.

He could keep on knocking but he wasn't getting in here.

I finally got so fed up I walked to the door and swung it open.

"WHAT!"

He gave me the look I had marked as "the look Newt Livingston gives me when I turn him down for a date"

"I-I was just…never mind." He said, turning and going away, "I'll come back, later, maybe."

I slammed the door as he walked away.

I cried and cried for what seemed like forever. I went over all these ideas in my head. The fact still remained clear: I wasn't the reason my mom died, but I was the reason that I lost my home and everything I knew.

I got up and walked to the bathroom and locked the door, and cut on the fan.

I grabbed the razor off the shower shelf again and slid it into my arm three times.

Blood slowly dripped from my arm onto the counter top.

I wiped it up and ran the scars under cool water, gasping at the sting.

I bandaged my arm and headed back to my room.

I soon realized I had left my door open, but as soon as I went to shut it, Newt was standing in the doorframe.

"Where were you going?" he asked

"To shut the door." I replied shortly

"So you were trying to keep me out again." He said

I remained silent as he came in and shut the door behind him.

I sat down on my bed and grabbed one of the pillows and held it to my chest.

He stared at me for a moment.

We then began talking about the funeral and everything until I made a gesture and he gave me a weird look.

"What?" I asked

He grabbed my arm and flipped it over, I quickly flipped it back to it's original position, his tight grip on my wrist was causing the blood flow to cut off, as I could see the area around it paling a bit.

He quickly flipped my arm back around.

"Rebel, what's this?"

"I told you a few days ago, it was from the stupid fall."

"You only had one bandage then, now you've got three."

"It's none of your business."

"You aren't being all psycho and cutting are you?"

I went silent and went from a mutter to a full out hiss, "It's none of your business, I said."

Newt ripped off one of the bandages.

"I KNEW IT!" he exclaimed, seeing blood drip out of my arm from the pressure.

"LIVINGSTON, I TOLD YOU IT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" I yelled

"It is my business when someone I care about is hurting themselves."

"YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME AND YOU KNOW IT!" I exclaimed

"How do you know? Oh yeah, you'd never know because every year I get the same thing, you always think someone else is better than me!" he said, an unseen anger raging in his blue eyes

I had never seen Newt Livingston get this angry before.

"Whatever Rebel, you know what maybe you should just pack up and go stay with Stickler, because I'm sick of you and your BS. I've been sick of it for nine years!" he said

"Maybe I should." I began to cry

"Yeah, by the way, go ahead and kill yourself, all you are is a heart breaking, lying, waste of space."

My eyes filled up with tears as they began to fall from my eyes, "Take that back!"

"No!"

I reared my fist back and slammed it into his cheek.

He fell to the ground, holding onto his cheek. He moved his hand and I saw his cheek was bleeding.

I stepped backwards and into the wall.

I looked on my left hand. The ring I wore on my middle finger had a blood stain on it.

I gasped and fall to the floor.

"Newt are you okay!" I said, crawling on my knees over in his direction.

I raised my hand to wipe the blood off his cheek, but he grabbed it and pushed it aside.

He tried to wipe it off with his hand.

"Stay right there, I'll be back." I ran to the bathroom and got a bandage and some wet paper towels.

I came back and moved his hand from his cheek.

He pushed my hand away again.

"Stop it!" I said, grabbing the hand he tried to push mine away with and put it aside.

I wiped his cheek off as he cringed from the pain.

My eyes welled up with tears, "I'm so sorry, I never knew that I would…I would…physically harm someone, God, I am so sorry."

I put the bandage on his cheek carefully.

"Well, you've been breaking my heart for nine years and I should figure that eventually you'd break me on the outside."

His words broke my heart.

I had no clue what to do. I sat there motionlessly for what seemed like forever.

I had never realized what I had been doing for nine years. A flood of memories came back to me from the whole ordeal with Meena and the cat/yak backpack thing to the throwing the poor boy's valentine in the garbage.

I stared back at him before doing the one thing I knew would maybe make things right.

I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. I know, you're thinking, she's lost her mind, she's not supposed to like this guy. I didn't think I did, I was just trying to make things between us better, make amends.

That is, until he started to kiss back. I put his hands on my waist and pulled me into him. I could feel myself getting lost in him. I didn't know what kind of force was working on us at that moment, but it felt like the world had stopped. It felt like nothing was wrong, like my mom was still alive, my dad was still here and maybe, we had been with each other for a long time, like maybe déjà vu from another life.

When we broke apart I looked at him. He smiled faintly at me.

"Why are we on the floor?" I asked, noticing the fact that I had carpet burn going up my legs and he was propped up against the wall.

"I dunno" he replied

We both got up and looked at each other semi-awkwardly for a moment.

"Night dudette." He smiled at me

"Night Freak." I smiled back

I shut the door and got in the bed. I could hear my mom's voice in my head.

"This is all part of His plan sweetie, work with it and it'll fall into place perfectly."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I personally loved this chapter! The next will concern Rebel's housing issue and her inheritance. There will probably be two more chapters and 2 epilogues. One from Rebel's POV and one from Newt's.