Those hints that he never paid attention to…
The ones that he felt when he saw Risa, or touched her, or kissed her…
The hints that he saw when he was sleeping, or felt when he was walking…
The ones that made him tired in the afternoons or made him dizzy in the morning…
Were the hints that wouldn't let him go in the morning, and that kept him bedridden when he should have been awake.
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It was nearly three days before anyone found him.
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Risa sat in the waiting room of the hospital's third floor, twiddling her thumbs and staring dazedly at her shoes. Her book bag leaned against her leg and her coat and scarf were thrown unceremoniously along the chairs next to her. Behind her Daisuke was lounging in a seat near the wall and Riku was off standing in front of the juice machine, staring lazily at the choices offered to her. Satoshi's chauffeur, whom Risa remembered seeing only fleetingly when Satoshi was rarely picked up in his black car from school, was talking to the receptionist about the situation.
They were all waiting to hear the news.
Because Satoshi just couldn't seem to open his eyes.
The chauffeur had found him in his apartment after a three day hiatus, sound asleep in his bed, pale-faced and too deep of breath. He had rushed him to the hospital and, because he knew his father would not come unless his son was in critical condition and, because he knew Risa, Daisuke and Riku to be Satoshi's closest friends, the chauffeur had contacted them immediately. After school the three had rushed down to the hospital only to find that Satoshi was in testing and that it would be a while before anyone could see him.
"Hey."
Risa looked up to see Daisuke standing next to her. "Hey," she said in reply, and then said no more. She didn't much feel like talking.
The redhead nodded and sat down in the chair next to her, slumping down unattractively. "Did you know?" he asked in a low voice. Risa shook her head.
"No. I didn't. He seemed fine whenever I saw him. I never would have thought he was so sick."
Dai sighed. "Same here. He seemed better than before, you know? Not like when--,"
"Yeah," Risa cut him off. "I know." She glanced sidelong at him. "Do you feel sick? Or, I don't know, empty?"
Dai shrugged. "No. I mean, it's different. But not in a bad way. It doesn't make me sick."
Risa felt guilty. "I should have noticed. I was so absorbed in everything that was happening in my life that I didn't notice."
"No one noticed. He's used to hiding things. He probably didn't mean to hide it, but it's in his nature."
But this is dangerous, Risa thought. This is different than hiding emotions.
Riku joined them bearing drinks for all. She tossed one to Daisuke and then sat on the other side of her sister, offering a juice box that Risa refused.
"You haven't eaten or drank anything since breakfast," her sister said. "We need one less person getting sick."
Risa took the juice box.
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It wasn't just his blood sugar this time. And it wasn't just his weak immune system either. It was more.
Because when something as powerful as a fallen angel, whose magic consumes and whose hatred ignites, suddenly leaves their vessel behind to fend for itself, the consequences that follow won't be simple.
It was different with Dark. That had been a symbiotic relationship. They had coexisted with each other.
It was different with Krad. That had been a parasitical relationship. They had tried to kill each other.
And now, with the magic gone, his body was breaking down, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally—
It was a slow process. His body was very slowly growing weaker as the magic it had been feeding on became painfully absent. It had been months since Krad's leaving, and the effects were only taking hold now.
It was more than he could take.
And it was more than his Sacred Maiden could fix.
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The chauffeur approached the three friends and they looked up simultaneously.
"He's awake," he told them. "We can see him now."
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It was horrible.
There were tubes and wires that hooked him up to machines. An IV drip hung next to the head of his bed and his face was a sickly grey. His glasses were folded on the table beside his bed and, even though he was awake, his eyes were unfocused and unseeing, heavily lidded, as if he were ready to fall asleep again.
Daisuke could barely move. Riku could barely move. Risa was already at his side.
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"He's not going to die."
Everyone let out a breath of relief. The chauffeur's announcement was not only good news to Risa, Riku and Daisuke, but to Emiko, Daiki, Towa and Kosuke, who had arrived when they found out where Dai had been.
"The doctors tell me that he is very sick, that his body is very weak, but he won't die. Nothing is getting worse, just--," He searched for the word. "Less."
"His spirit as well," Towa added, averting all eyes to her. "I've already tried searching for him, even though his eyes are open, but it's weird. His spirit is weak. His mind is weak. His heart is weak." She looked saddened. "He's so tired."
"But why?" It was Daisuke's question. It was Emiko who answered.
"It was Krad," she said simply. "He used up his resource and then left. Now Hiwatari is living off what is left, and it's not very much."
"Then how does anyone help him?" It was Riku's question. It was Emiko who answered.
"We can't. He has to do it on his own. He has to fight through and learn to build back what he has lost. The thing is, with a spirit so drained and tired as his, I don't know if that's possible. The most anyone can do is give him support and strength. Doesn't he have any family that could come and help him?" It was Emiko's question. It was Risa who answered.
"No," she said, sitting next to the bed, not touching anything. "Only a father, and he won't come. There's no other family."
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He had been awake but he hadn't been conscious.
Not, at least, until it was so late in the afternoon that it was twilight. The sun was setting. The world was bathed in gold.
Daisuke had fallen asleep in a chair against the far wall. Riku had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Risa had fallen asleep in her chair next to the bed. The chauffeur was gone, probably to get coffee in the cafeteria.
Satoshi looked at them all, surprised that they were there.
He tried to move his arm but couldn't. It seemed too heavy, and there were tubes everywhere. Tubes made him uncomfortable.
Next to him Risa stirred. He turned to watch her.
Her eyes opened.
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"How are you feeling?"
"Tired."
"You've been asleep for over three days."
"I feel like I haven't slept in ages."
"They told us you're very sick."
"I had guessed."
"They said it'll be hard for you to get better."
"I had guessed."
"They said you're sick because of Krad."
"I had guessed."
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Risa folded her arms on the edge of his bed and rested her head on them, staring into his eyes. He met her gaze directly. Neither looked away.
"Why didn't you tell any of us?" she asked.
"I didn't really know myself. I hadn't noticed."
Risa unfolded one of her hands and touched his arm, her fingers maneuvering around the tubes. Satoshi stared at her hand.
"What are you doing," he asked. She shrugged.
"Just making sure you're real."
"I'm real."
"I know." She sighed. "That's what makes me so sad."
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He was released two days later. Risa went to his apartment after school by herself to check up on him.
She had told him before that she would, so the chauffeur had left a key above the door so he wouldn't have to get up and answer to her knock.
When she came in she saw him lying on his sofa, reading, his feet propped on the armrest, a pillow beneath his head, tea waiting on the side table. He looked better, but not fully recovered.
"Hey," she said, closing the door behind her. He looked up.
"Hi."
She held up a plastic bag. "I brought you something to eat."
"You didn't have to."
"I wanted to."
She walked up to him on her way to the kitchen and reached down to feel his forehead. He was cold.
"You okay?" she asked, walking into the kitchen.
"No," was the quiet reply.
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He fell asleep only minutes after she arrived.
The doctors had said he'd be tired.
She watched him sleep. Not creepily, like some girls probably would have done, hovering over him and analyzing his features. She just stood in the kitchen and watched him over the counter, making sure his foot didn't slip from the armrest, or his head didn't loll off the side of the sofa.
When the head was lower than the feet it caused nightmares. She remembered reading that in her psychic books.
Then again, so did things like Krad, and there wasn't much she could do to stop that.
Risa sighed and laid her forehead against the cold tiles of the counter. From what Satoshi had said she was his Sacred Maiden, the key to freeing him from the clutches of Krad. But not even she was strong enough to save him, and it made her feel useless.
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She waited for him to wake up.
To have Satoshi wake up to loneliness was cruel.
His eyes opened just the slightest bit. She was sitting on the floor next to his head, reading the book he had fallen asleep with. She looked up when she felt him stir. She smiled warmly.
"Hey. You've been out for a while."
He sighed sleepily, deeply. For some reason it made Risa blush. "I feel like all I've been doing is sleeping."
"You need it." She reached up and brushed the hair from his heavy-lidded gaze. "I'm sorry. I have to go."
She got to her feet, kissed him sweetly on his forehead and grabbed her things to leave. She waved at him through the door and closed it, placing the key above the doorjamb for the next day. She turned to leave…
…and couldn't help the tears welling up in her eyes.
But she swiped at them furiously, hating herself. She had no right to cry. Satoshi was the one in trouble, and she had to help him.
Because so many wouldn't.
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At school the next day Black Pigtails and her infamous group of friends finally struck back.
And Risa Harada was sick and tired of them.
By the time her sister, Daisuke, her classmates and a teacher arrived in the girl's locker room, the girls were crowding around Black Pigtails in the corner, all of them crying, no one apparently hurt. The teacher was furious, her classmates were appalled, Daisuke was speechless and Riku was laughing harder than what was terribly appropriate.
Because Risa was standing in the middle of the room.
Scissors in one hand.
One of Black Pigtails's pigtails in the other.
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Risa got detention after school for an entire month as opposed to suspension. And she was required to make a public apology to the girl she had harmed, along with an apology to her family, as opposed to expulsion.
But that didn't change the fact that there was one girl walking around with uneven hair.
And so everything was just fine with Risa.
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Satoshi remembered when he had first explained his situation to Daisuke. That Krad didn't appear when he felt any sort of intimate feeling for someone. When he had told him that Krad fed on his anger and loneliness he had seemed nearly appalled.
Wasn't it painful?
Wasn't it excruciating?
Didn't it tear him apart?
Yes.
It always did.
So when it was finally over, and Krad was finally locked away, the burdened had been lifted.
And then here came Risa.
A girl who knew his past and still wanted to stand at his side.
But she wasn't enough.
He hated that part.
When was his suffering going to be enough to stop it all?
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It wasn't until Sunday when Risa had time to visit Satoshi. Riku and Daisuke had gone to check on him, including Towa, at times. But Risa had been held in detention all week, so she hadn't been able to go.
On Sunday she went as soon as she could.
The key was right where everyone had left it, at the top of the doorjamb. She snatched it off, unlocked the door and hung her coat and scarf by the door. It was freezing outside.
"Satoshi?" The front room was empty. Through a slit in the curtains the white snow made the winter sun blinding. "Satoshi?"
"Risa?"
It was coming from the hallway. Risa hurried towards his voice, finding him standing in his bedroom in only his trousers, a towel slung around his shoulders, his hair wet. He'd just gotten out of the shower.
He looked surprised, but a good surprised. "I didn't know you were coming," he said. He sounded better. His voice was still too soft, but it was more solid.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, running up to him. "It's too cold to be walking around like that!"
"I was getting dressed when you called my name," he tried to defend. She didn't listen. She threw his towel aside, pulled out one of his black, long-sleeved shirts from the closet and forced it over his head.
"No excuses," she mumbled, tugging the shirt down around him. He stared down at her, his face blank, his eyes amused. The shirt seemed to hang on him differently. He was getting thinner.
Risa tugged on the hem of his shirt and pulled him close, burying her face into his chest. He smelled of soap and fresh linen. She loved the scent.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Are you sure?" She lifted her head to look up at him.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Risa rose up on her toes and kissed him deeply. He returned the kiss, tired but passionate all the same. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He embraced her in his arms. Outside the snow fell. Inside the cold was forgotten.