Beast Boy
6/11/05
No entry
Raven
6/11/05
I have no idea what happened.
Last night, I was getting ready for bed… changing, actually, when there was a knock at my door. It was Beast Boy. Well, as much as I love him (why can't I just say it to him in real life?) I don't quite feel comfortable with him seeing me in my lingiere yet… I opened the door a crack to see what he wanted, and he said he wanted to talk to me… well, what was I gonna do? Tell him to go away?
So, for whatever reason, I let him in… he was surprised to see me dressed like that, and I was surprised that I was letting him see me dressed like that… he started blushing, and that just made me blush…
Anyways, we talked for quite a while. Not really about anything. He looked at me a lot, but I was actually surprised to notice that he wasn't just looking at places he shouldn't… he looked me in the eye when he talked, and (except for the occasional glance) didn't even look at anything else… Wow… pretty sad that I can't even say it to myself, huh?
About 2 am, we decided we should probably go to bed. I curled up under the covers of mine as he was walking out… then he stopped. He turned around, looked at me… I could see absolute panic in his eyes (for some reason, I both enjoyed and feared that look). Then he walked over, kissed me on the forehead, and told me he loved me… yeah, he actually said it to me, face to face! And, as much as I loathe admitting it, I'm sitting here giggling like… I dunno… like Starfire, I guess… I enjoyed hearing it. And then, I don't know why, but I grabbed him and pulled him into the bed with me (not like, yanked him in, but I made it clear where he was sleeping…) and told him I loved him too.
I couldn't believe it. I still can't. I was next to naked, telling BB that I loved him, and he was in bed with me. Nothing happened. Well, let me rephrase that… nothing graphic happened. We spent the next ( hour or minute? Or somewhere in between? Or was it even longer?) just holding each other, and kinda shyly kissing… nothing intense, but for some reason it seemed like the most fulfilling thing in the world to me last night.
After that, we curled up together to sleep. I was in a kind of fetal position (it's comfy… and why am I explaining my reasoning to a journal that will only be read by me? And why am I using baby words?), and he just curled up around me, arms wrapped loosely around me…
I don't know exactly when I woke up. I just know that he was gone. Cyborg wanted to do some extra tests on him… turns out he'd known we were together. So now Cyborg definitely knows.
Well, I don't really know what else to say… it was a nice night, a very nice night… followed by a boring, routine day. Beast Boy and I will start training again in a few days, so hopefully things will start to get more entertaining then. It's late, so I think I'm gonna head up to bed… I think Beast Boy already has… whether to his or to mine, I dunno. Time to find out.
And, as an afterthought… it felt almost as good to tell Beast Boy I love him as it did to hear that he loved me… I never would've guessed…
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Yes, I am still firmly against this being a sex story… I didn't mean that as a pun, but it seems like it is one… sweet. I love puns, lol. Please forgive me for that… it's inappropriate, but I can't resist puns… So, as I was saying, I don't want this to be a sex story, and so I'm not going to go out and describe it. No, this is not describing an actual occurrence between me and Raven. Yes, I did intentionally exagerate the importance of this first night, and you know why? Cause I think if I was Raven at this point, this night would be the most important of my life so far… makes sense, don't it? She can't feel anything, and this is the most she's ever felt (and is infinitely more than she ever thought she'd feel). And yeah… the next chapter will have some pain on BB's part. He's still a guy, after all, and that would take a TON of self control… so expect to hear from a guy's point of view after being (unintentionally) tortured all night…