"Look gentlemen," The Master began, thinking up a cunning plan in his mind. "My name is… Jake…Shears… and I actually live in a mental institute. My carers don't look after me very well and expect me to fend for myself." The two guards stared at each other in a mixture of amusement and disbelief. The Master decided he was on a role and continued. "And I'm waiting here for the lunatic parade. It's starting tomorrow morning and I really need to do a dress rehearsal and I seems that no one else is around, so I might aswell go back to the home," with a slightly stumble, the Master galloped back along the road he came from.

"That totally changed my opinion of London." The two guards were utterly stunned, not sure whether what just happened was real or not.

-

Bugger.

First the suit, then his home; the Master was not best pleased. He wandered along the road, the lights from restaurants and chip shops blinking in his general direction. All the useless humans inside, happy and enjoying their food without a care in the world. Obviously not noticing the little man outside with the entire human race in his hand. Another light caught his eye.

Joey's B and B.

"B and B?" He asked himself, moving in closer for a quick inspection. "Some sort of… place to stay?" It was a disgusting dump, the buzz of flies as the theme tune and a strange smell of what could only have been cat vomit. The Master sniffed as he entered the building, lightly pushing the splintered front door.

"Hello?" he called, stepping over the carcass of a moggy lazily lying in his path. "Great… the Master reduced to cats and a wooden house... how terrifying is that?" He leant against the counter top, being careful where he stuck his arm, lost completely in his own thoughts not even noticing the tiny man appear from behind desk.

"Excuse me sir," he called, causing the Master to jump backwards in fright. What the hell… me? Scared?!

"Er… hi," he replied, brushing himself down and removing the alarmed cat from his leg. "I'd like to have a room, whichever one you want to give me, just make sure it isn't full of cats." The Master sneered, staring at the algae growing on the ceiling. "Make that no fungi either." The small man giggled childishly and jumped down from what one could only imagine to be a child's stool, and lead the Master over to a rotten wooden staircase, much like the door, it creaked and crumbled under his weight, beams falling from underneath him as he toppled onto the floor. The Master rubbed his head, grimacing as the burn on the side of his face became, again, apparent to him. He was afraid to move from his position on the floor, looking along the corridor which looked surprisingly wonky to him, a noticing several doors and corridors leading off in many directions. Spotting a door that looked less grubby than the rest of them; the Master slotted the key into the doorknob and began shaking it like crazy. Beginning to worry that nothing in the entire house would work, only a small shove on the other side of the door forced it open, toppling onto the dusty floor.

The Master stared around the room, his mouth open wide. White sheets covered half of the furniture, a huge rug covered the broken boards, the bed covering what he presumed was the fungus, and on it lay a rather large tabby cat. It meowed as he moved closer to it.

"I thought I said no cats… or fungi," he moaned, resting the cat on the floor and pulling the sheet from the bed. After a few more sheets were removed, the room looked a little more presentable. A huge mahogany wardrobe was propped against a wall and a chest of drawers aligned the other wall. The cat still lay in the middle of the room, its auburn eyes surveying the Master and his experiment. "I thought I told you to get lost," he told the cat, who obviously didn't understand a word he was saying, and subsequently jumped onto the bed behind him and began pawing at the top of his legs playfully. The Master just grinned, turning around and scooping the cat up into his arms. "Fine." He replied to the cat's playfulness. "You shall be my trusty sidekick. We shall fight the Doctor together," he pursed his lips and frowned. "Might need a bit of a makeover first though."