A.N. Back with another chapter. Bit iffy about it so be nice.

Chapter 3

BUMP

'Owww' Marysue said rubbing her forehead.

Chris looked mildly concerned. 'That's the forth streetpost you've walked into in the last 5 mins. Watch where you're going girl.'

Marysue gave an embarrassed highpitched giggle. 'I'm sorry Chrissypoo. I just cant stop getting captured in your eyes.'

'Damn stupid eyes!' Chris grumbled to himself as he kept on walking along the footpath, trying to steer the new girl away from solid objects.

'What was that?'

'Nothing! So uhh, why don't you tell me your background story. I don't believe we've been told that yet and its very important in creating a mental picture of you. Makes it easier for the readers see?'

'Oh Chrissy-wissy you're so cute I could just eat you,' Marysue said licking her lips. Chris took a precautionary step backwards and eventually Marysue snapped out of her daze.

'Anyway background, background... OH I know! I am a cousin of Vern's, though not the fat one, but don't get me wrong, I can do drama, I have a troubled past which I will slowly reveal in order to keep everyone guessing and which will eventually bring our kindred troubled souls closer together. I like hair products, eating at diners, treehouses and searching for bodies if need be. Oh and shiny things!! (Must be the Tessio gene) Oh and I usually have an instant distrust of any female characters cause they're usually only included to cause trouble.'

Just then a petite little voice called from across the street 'Hi Chris!'

Marysue turned around to see a cute little 6 or 7 yr old girl waving ecstatically from across the street. Suddenly she went into action mode. Dropping the death grip she had on Chris' arm she quickly marched across the street screaming in a very non-Marysuish voice.

'Oi! Back of ya little slag! Yeah I know what you're doing! You trying to come onta my man you little tramp?! Well this is what you get for messin' with my man!' she screamed as she kicked the stunned little girl in the shins before following up with a karate chop to the shoulder which made the unfortunate girl collapse to the ground.

Dusting off her hands she skipped back over to Chris who was looking horrified.

'You freakin' psycho!! That was my sister you idiot! I know I never talk about her and she is always conveniently left out of stories along with my other siblings but that's no reason to knock her out!'

Marysue looked back at the crumpled form on the sidewalk. Apart from an irregular twitch she was unmoving.

She giggled. 'Woopsies! My bad! Didn't I mention that I was the jealous type? Oh well no biggy she'll come around in an hour or three. Meanwhile I think its about time I met the rest of your friends. It shouldn't take long, I mean I am assuming that you haven't made any new ones since you were 12 years old.'

Chris looked at the ground pushing the dust around with his foot.

'Nope, no new ones.'

'Great! Then lets go!' Marysue said grabbing his arm and beginning to drag him away already somehow knowing where she was going, like a submarine to a battleship.

'Why doesn't anyone like me…' Chris mumbled self-pityingly to himself.

'What was that Christopher-dumpling?'

'Nothing!! Just an inner, secret desire. Lets go!'

Conveniently forgetting about his paralysed kid sister Chris once again allowed himself to be dragged off. He had, after all, always been stereotyped the peacemaker.

He didn't know whether it was the annoying voice, the psychotic tendencies, the lack of brain cells or the strange obsession with his eyes, but he could really see himself falling totally, inexplainably, unrealistically and unexpectedly in love with this girl. I mean, she hadn't been like all the new girls before her. She really seemed committed to being as annoying and predictable as possible. Plus she was HOT! Now that's good in any guy's book.

Still it was too early to get into that, there was still a friendship period to get through… then a couple of dramatic scenes… a few revelations… and of course the quintessential "comforting scene" in which he would take advantage of her in her dramatic time of need and selfishly mack on her. But that was all still ahead of them, cause god forbid anybody should come up with an actually original plot.

To be continued…

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A.N. Will Chris ever manage to change his clothes or make some new friends? Will Marysue be able to keep coming up with annoying nicknames? Will Gordie and Teddy ever actually make it into this story? Will this author ever stop self-indulgently asking questions? Keep reading to find out in the next instalment of "THE CHRONICLES OF MARYSUE" doo-doo-dee-doo (theme music).