A/N: Hello everyone, this is your author speaking… (Hehe) would just like to remind you to please review! It will always be appreciated, no matter what you have to say – comments always make my day! (How cool I rhymed) So even if u feel like flaming me, at least make it constructive, because I'd like to know how I can improve etc etc… please remember I'm still learning!! Special thanks to PurpleArmadillo and love-horses, i'm glad i made u smile! Although i do feel bound to point out that this IS a lily/james fic and so they WILL have their moments... inevitably... Anyway review and enjoy! xx
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Chapter Three: In which Filch is frantic and Lily is not amused"What can you tell me," Lily said, upon entering the Head's tower to discover James reading a textbook, " about the missing toilet in the fifth floor girl's bathrooms?"
"Oh, that," James replied carelessly, not even bothering to look up from The Standard Book of Spells Grade Seven. "Do you miss it much?"
Lily scowled. "I knew you had something to do with it! There was a queue, thank you very much, which meant I was late to meet-"
James looked up at her swiftly, his gaze piercing, and Lily faltered momentarily.
"-to meet Art," she finished, a rather defiant tone in her voice.
"Sorry to inconvenience you," he replied coolly.
"Do we get it back?" she persevered. "I mean, there's just an empty cubicle. What on earth did you do to it, by the way?"
"Transfigured it into a box."
"A box?!"
Lily turned around and stomped up the stairs to her room, preferring to leave rather than yell at him. She slammed her door for good measure, and then leant against it.
Typical, she thought wryly. The Marauders transfigure a toilet into a box. So very thoughtful and useful of them!
But what exactly had they needed the box for?
Oh dear. Lily had the horrible feeling she knew exactly what they had used the box for.
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James had watched the Head Girl storm up the stair with a mixture of amusement and dismay. He found it hilarious that she had discovered their prank and had known immediately whom to accredit it to. On the other hand, she had been on her way to see Scummy, which of course meant she must still like him, and this broke James' heart. In his opinion, there was no one worse for Lily than Scummy (although of course James was extremely biased).
"POTTER!"
Her yell made him jump, even though the sound had been somewhat muffled by her bedroom door. Said door now burst wide open and a blur of black and red hurtled along the gallery and down the stairs, stopping before him. Her emerald eyes blazed.
"Where is Filch's cat?"
James assumed what he hoped would be an innocent and confused expression, even though inwardly he was flattered she had given him credit so quickly.
"Excuse me, Evans darling, I don't quite understand you."
Lily's scowl intensified. "Three things, Potter," she said. "One, you need to work on your poker face. Two, don't you ever call me Evans darling again. Three, I know that you know that I know you kidnapped Mrs. Norris, so you may as well spit it out. Filch is very upset, you know."
James snorted. "Good," he replied, adding quickly," not that I know where that adorable kitty is."
Lily gave him a derisive look. "Do I have to go through this again, Potter?"
He smiled as she turned to leave. "Evans?"
"What?"
"What on Earth is poker?"
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Sirius took it upon himself to take a sick day on Wednesday morning. Remus informed Lily and Emmeline of this during breakfast, a pained look on his face.
"He was awake all night moaning. I think he's coming down with something."
Of course, Lily didn't buy into the lie. Sirius had already stopped by their dorm this morning to talk with James. Pursing her lips, she chose not to comment, and instead bit into her croissant.
"Odd, Sirius being sick, isn't it?" Emmeline murmured demurely on their way to class. "I can't begin to imagine how strange he must look when he's all pale and sickly. So unattractive!"
Lily could have sworn she heard the empty, airy space beside her choke.
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All in all, Lily decided that Wednesday had been a very odd day indeed. Filch had wandered around talking to himself for the greater part of class time, and the caretaker had also begun to jump at strange noises. The noises happened to be one Sirius Black hidden beneath an invisibility cloak, meowing at Filch, but Filch did not seem to understand this and persevered in his desperate search for his cat.
At one point during the day, the caretaker had even gone so far as to stumble into Transfiguration, muttering to himself wildly. Sirius, who did not dare to miss this one lesson, could not resist letting out a quiet meow from the back of the room. The class had laughed as Filch jumped, eyes wild, and immediately began hurrying toward the door.
Professor
McGonagall had raised her eyebrows, her seering look directed toward
the four howling boys.
"I do hope," she had said mildly.
"That poor Mr Filch has his cat restored to him with the utmost
haste, for the good of the whole school."
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"Potter!"
James flinched as Lily came charging into their common room. Sirius raised his eyebrows at the head girl, daring her to continue while he, Remus and Peter were also present.
Lily, of course, had seen the Marauders, and didn't miss a beat.
"Even better, you lot are all here, I can yell at you together," she told them grimly. "Give Mrs. Norris back. Poor Filch is desperate and as far as I've gathered the poor cat can't be having much fun herself, hidden away in a box. So give her back, please. Remus, I thought you knew better than this."
Remus shrugged. "I don't feel particularly sorry for either Filch or Mrs. Norris, Lily. The cat is in the room of-"
Sirius quickly muffled his friend, but Lily had already heard enough. "The room of requirement, is it?" she asked, resigned. "I suppose she would be happy enough in there, then. But Filch is driving me mad, so can you at least lock them up together? While you're at it, return that toilet too. Sirius, I'm looking at you."
Sirius muttered something dark under his breath, but as Lily hadn't waited for a reply she was already up the staircase. Sirius watched her progression along the gallery with interest.
"You know, Prongs, if you leant back like this, and Evans was leaning on that railing up there, I almost reckon you could see up her skirt," he said thoughtfully.
James scowled. "No perving on Lily, Padfoot. That's none of your business."
Sirius just laughed, in a mocking sort of way. "Don't even try to pretend you're not going to check if that ever happens, Prongs. It's a waste of our time."
Remus sighed. "You know, we really should give Mrs. Norris back, you know." He looked between his three friends, eyes wide. "Can we be mature about this for once?" he asked into the shocked silence.
"Not on your life, Moony," Sirius responded without missing a beat.
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It was midnight by the time the Marauders managed to make it up to the seventh floor corridor. They had left after 11pm to avoid the prefects, and also because James had been required to patrol for an hour with Lily. Sirius was furious that it had taken an hour for them to climb three levels, but it seemed that Filch had enlisted the help of the Hogwarts ghosts to find his cat, and as it were the ghosts had been everywhere, popping through walls when they least expected it. Even the Marauders Map had proven quite unhelpful as they required light to read it.
"I can't believe you lot are giving in so easily," Sirius complained.
James shrugged easily. "Haven't we had our fun, Padfoot?"
"I think Mrs Norris has learnt her lesson by now, Sirius," Remus added.
Peter frowned, looking between his friends. Deciding to side with Sirius in the vain hope that it would earn him extra credit, he put his hands on his hips.
"You two aren't any fun anymore."
"Wormtail, get your hands off your hips, you bloody girl."
James began to pace, and on his third lap a door appeared. Eagerly, Sirius entered and the others moved to follow.
"Ow," Peter complained, having had his nose shoved into Sirius' back. For the boy had stopped short, staring at the Room of Requirement in amazement and disgust.
One by one, the boys filed in after Sirius, stunned.
The Room smelt distinctly of tuna, and was filled with all manner of strange things. Three lounges which had clearly seen better days stood at one end, cat hair sticking out of the material and huge claw marks slashed across their sides.
In the middle was a huge pool full of what appeared to be every kind of fish Mrs Norris fancied. At the far end was a fountain of milk, which appeared to cascade from the wall, while all manner of scrawny birds fluttered overhead, desperately fleeing from the frolicking feline.
"It's a bloody paradise," Sirius swore.
James grinned. "I guess its powers of intuition extend to cats," he shrugged. "I feel better now, somehow."
Mrs Norris had noticed her visitors. She leapt from her overhead walkway and landed on the ground at Sirius' feet, purring and entwining herself around his legs.
"She likes us!" Peter exclaimed unnecessarily, his face a priceless look of disbelief.
"Kind of seems a shame to free her when she's having such a good time," James said slowly.
"Now, James, remember what Lily said?" Remus reminded him sternly.
The Head Boy appeared to deliberate the matter for a few moments before sighing.
"Moony's right," he announced, addressing the cat. "I'm sorry, Mrs Norris, but we have to give you back." Struck by sudden inspiration, he added, "But if you're good, we'll let you back in here every now and then."
Mrs Norris purred.
Sirius looked up at his friends, eyes shining.
"Remind me why we didn't do this before?"
James shrugged, but was suddenly overcome with a (brilliant) idea.
"Hey guys… do you think that Lily would be this pleased to see us if we lock her in here?"
Remus looked at James, pity in his eyes as he shook his head. Sirius followed suit, and naturally, so did Peter, as the three turned and walked silently away from him.
Well, it hadn't sounded so bad in his head, James argued, before shrugging amiably and striding to catch up.