Note:

rochelle09: Thanks for the review :)

taran47: I never thought I could make someone life complete.. :). To tell you the truth, when I started to write this story I did not think it was any good. I know the story has change alot since chapter 9, so I hope that you still like the story.

Chapter 16

Dear Journals,

Three months as past and realized that as much as I love Harry it impossible for us to be together and I also feel like I am cheating on him everytime time I with Charlie even though I have done nothing. Harry was my first real relationship, and he meant the whole world to me. He open my eyes and I do not think I can ever repay him. However when I with Charlie, I feel like I can truely be me without being holding anything back. He make me happy and I feel..um...guess the word would be free. I do not know how to really explained it.

Maybe we just too young, Harry and I have not even live half our life yet. Everyone seem like they want us to break us. Maybe their right, this relationship isn't healthy for me or Harry. After this entry I will pack by bag and leave. I already went to the headmaster and complete the exam before everyone else. I also told Prof. Snape about my plan and he told me, to be sure about what I want and do not give a dame about anyone else, however my mind is made up. Prof. Snape is nearly completely cure, dont worry he still make at less 10 children crys per day.

I hope Harry isn't too angry at me for leaving without saying goodbye. I finally did sleep with him last night; I wanted him to be my first. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I also wanted something to remind me of him and there even chance I might be carrying his child inside of me. If the baby and I survive, I will let Harry know about it. I know it stupid and dumb of me wanting a baby but I did promised my mother that I would at least try to have an heir and I can't be with anyone else.

Thought out the century there only be two cases that both the carrier and the baby survive. Maybe I thinking to much ahead, I mean I don't even know if I pregnant or not, it was only my first time. It's too early to tell anyway. I could not face the fact that I starting to fall for Charlie and this is my way out. I can not choose between them, so I decide that it better if I left, and the possiablily of having Harrys child will allow me to have someone to love and care for because I do not think I could ever fall in love again.

After my birthdays, there has been many up and down and I starting to feel trap in this relationship with Harry and Charlie in the background does not make me feel any better. I feel so overpower by Harry and I don't even know if I'm me anymore. I use to be able to walk in any room and I would know what to do but if Harry around, I just fellow his lead. However I still love him.

I remember once when someone tried to attack me at a party and I had him on his knee, however when Harry walk in to room he assume that I the bad guy. He always sees me as a bully and never once does he think for a moment at I was only try to protect myself. I also made a few people cry, so what, it not my fault that they can't accept to truth.

Even thought Harry has bought tear to my eye so many times, I was and still am completely in love with him. I haven't written a good-bye letter to Harry or Charlie yet but I know it going to be the two hardest letters to write of my life.

I think Charlie might even have the same feeling for me and I also think he know about my feeling and I see in his eye, however there can never be a Charlie and I. At one point Ron, had pull me aside and asked me what I feel about Charlie. I was about to lie and when I look into his eye the words would not come out. I believe I told him that I care for his brother, to my surprise he did not hit or punch me, he told me to follow my heart and then walk away.

I don't know where to go just yet but just somewhere far away from Harry and Charlie. I going to stay with Asher for now, I need to found myself again before I can be with him or anyone else. Maybe there will be a day that I could find someone to love me without the touble and tear but I do not think it possible.

Maybe just maybe, if I lucky there a child inside of me and I be able to love it and raise without other people trying to take away my happiest away from me again.

Good Bye.

Draco Malfoy

The End...

JUST JOKING!!! one more chapter to go, however it is a very short one. I am still thinking about the ending so if anyone have any input please email it to me.