Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related ideas belong to JKR. The plot is mine.
A/N: Mildly edited to fit the new Deathly Hallows canon. It may not be obvious to spot - but readers, you have been warned...
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Chapter Sixteen: In which a ball is proposed
"Can I talk to you?"
Lily looked up, startled, to find James leaning in her doorway looking thoroughly confused and just a little angry.
Lily sat up, patting the bed beside her. "Of course you can. And while you're here, we can have a Head's Meeting too – Dumbledore owled me."
Making his way across the now familiar room, James gave Lily a quizzical look. "Head's Meeting?"
"Well, loads of students are staying here this holidays: their parents seem to think they'll be safer here. So Dumbledore said, you know, why don't we throw a ball? Get a little Christmas spirit going and, oh, perfect! Lily, you can organize it!"
"You're being sarcastic."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Naturally."
Lily watched James as he moved to recline across her bed. The tall, lanky, handsome as hell James Potter was sprawling himself across her bed. Lily bit her lip, secretly furious. Was he flaunting himself in front of her on purpose?
"You do realize I'm not going to ask you to the ball, right?" James told her, a satisfied smile stretching across his lips.
Which seemed to confirm things, once and for all. James Potter was a tease.
"Not?" Lily repeated, stunned and just a little insulted.
It was all James could do not to laugh. Lily wants me to ask her! His heart sung.
James regained his composure and shook his head. "No, I'm not, Lily."
"What if I ask you?" Lily replied, rather (and overly) loftily.
James just grinned. "Then I'll say no."
James watched her reaction. To put it simply, the Head Girl looked stunned. She was sitting there, and her beautiful eyes were glittering murderously and her messy ponytail looked so… adorable, and there he was, lying across her bed, saying that he didn't want her.
James Potter was a liar.
Lily was considering whether she should hex him or throttle him. Both seemed to be outrageously appealing.
James sat up, and suddenly he shuffled closer. Lily's throat caught in her breath.
"But seriously, Lily, we have something a little more urgent to discuss," he told her, his voice low, and oddly grim. His breath tickled her ear.
Lily looked at him in surprise. "What's wrong?"
"Sirius kissed Emmeline."
Lily quirked an eyebrow. "And?"
"Sirius kissed Emmeline because Peter messed up and did something stupid and Sirius wanted to get him back so he kissed Emmeline and Emmeline doesn't know that Sirius kissed her because he was getting Peter back."
"Oh."
Lily watched James' hazel eyes, and bit her lip again. She liked the way his eyes flickered when she did this. For all that Lily could sense that ominous feeling of impending social disaster that seemed to have spread from James' words, her mind was blank to all but one thought:
Why won't James kiss me?
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"You do realize that James is just being a gentleman again," Emmeline muttered disinterestedly, toying with her scrambled eggs the next morning, a dreamy look dancing across her face every time she glanced toward the Marauders.
Lily rolled her eyes and took a sip of pumpkin juice. "I'm sick of James being a gentleman, Em. I'm tired of waiting for him to make the first move. Maybe I'll just have to do something first?"
Emmeline shrugged. "Find a date for the ball, make him jealous. I don't care."
Lily gave her best friend a scathing look. "Oh don't be so cliché," she told her scornfully.
"Maybe you should kiss him?" Emmeline grinned. "Kisses are good. I'd go out with someone who kissed me."
Lily almost choked on her toast. "Emmeline Vance, if I'm not mistaken, you once told me that Sirius Black was your friend and your Quidditch Captain, and that you wouldn't ever think of him like that."
"But that," Emmeline told Lily, her tone practical," was before Sirius kissed me."
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"I shouldn't have done it," Sirius moaned, head in his hands.
"Have some bacon," Remus murmured sympathetically, shooting a glance at James, who simply glowered at Sirius.
"You're right," the Head Boy told his best friend shortly. "You shouldn't have done it."
Sirius looked haunted. His eyes were blacker than usual, and the familiar sparkle of mischief was gone. Sirius was notorious for not thinking things through, but James was pretty sure that this one took the cake, figuratively.
"It's all my fault," Peter muttered, munching on a bagel. "If I hadn't made you angry, you wouldn't have wanted to get me back."
"Wormy, you idiot, don't make excuses for me," Sirius told him woefully.
Someone cleared their throat behind the boys, and James turned to find Lily standing there.
For the third time in probably twelve hours, Lily was biting her lip. James found it incredibly attractive, and forced back a smile, settling instead for a look of polite interest.
Lily leant forward to whisper in James' ear. "I think we might have a problem with Em."
James nodded slowly, and winked at the boys, who were watching him curiously. "That doesn't surprise me," he whispered back. "Can we distract her?"
Lily seemed to consider this, before smiling slightly. "We could... Benjy Fenwick. Get him to ask Em to the ball and she'll forget all about Sirius."
James nodded again, and smiled back. "Good. That's a plan. Was there anything else?"
Lily hesitated. "Emmeline says I should get another date to the ball," she told him, eyes dancing playfully. "But I think that I might go single. I haven't done anything by myself for a while, now."
James raised his eyebrows, but really he was bursting in pride. That was exactly what he wanted: for Lily to decide to do something for herself, not for any one else.
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"Today, I have a challenge for you all," Slughorn announced jovially. "I know that this year, a lot of the more complex potions we've been using have very little relevance to the outside world. We have, essentially, been examining potions in order to admire their intricacies, and not for any practical purpose."
James and Sirius exchanged looks of utmost boredom. It was not unusual for Slughorn to rave about his love for potions, but some days he took it too far. Lily, sitting much closer to the front, looked fascinated nevertheless. Prodding Sirius and gesturing to Lily, the boys hid their smiles.
"So today, I want to provoke your young minds into thought, and thus I issue you with a challenge. I want you to take a potion, and I want you to reshape it for a new purpose."
Lily glanced at Emmeline. She looked, in Emmeline's opinion, disturbingly excited.
"Free range of the potions lab!" she muttered, low and fast. "Imagine what we can do!"
Emmeline simply rolled her eyes.
"I'm assigning you partners," Slughorn continued, oblivious to his class' obvious disinterest.
"Lupin, Bulstrode. Black, Vance. Evans-"
James' ears pricked up. Beside him, Sirius was looking positively sick.
"Oh, this is cruel," he muttered under his breath. "Cruel, cruel, cruel, cruel."
"-Snape. Potter, Fenwick. Goyle, Diggory."
"Hey Sirius. "
Sirius glanced up, fixing a false smile on his face. "Hey Em."
James surreptitiously packed up his things, but not before he heard Sirius begin awkwardly:
"Em, about the other night…"
Making his way across the room, James winced as he heard the distinctive sound of cauldron-to-skull contact.
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Thump
Lily jumped as Severus Snape set his cauldron and textbook on her table.
"Lily."
All but ignoring the curt greeting, Lily refused to meet his eyes, instead focusing on her own textbook. Feeling it would be rude not to respond, she politely turned up the corners of her mouth in a semblance of a smile - one she knew he'd see right through, although she didn't particularly care.
"Sev."
Snape looked strangely relieved as he slipped into Emmeline's vacated seat.
"Listen, Lily, I understand if you don't want to-"
"What were you thinking of?" Lily interrupted conversationally. Snape looked baffled until she added," For the potion, I mean."
Snape raised his brows at her brisk rejection. He sighed, pushing his greasy hair back from his face.
"I was thinking of making the Monksblood potion," he suggested quietly.
Lily frowned, still flicking through her textbook, although she didn't even bother to scan the pages. Her voice was absent, careless, as she dared to question him. "Why on earth would you want to make that?"
Snape shrugged, flicking through his own book now, although he found the page he sought almost immediately. "I wasn't thinking of it from the monks angle, Lily. I was thinking of it more as wolfsbane."
Lily's head snapped up, her eyes meeting his for the first time in almost a year. They were searching, accusing, even angry.
"What for?"
Snape knew a challenge when he saw it. He stood, suddenly, drawing himself up to his full height. "For the sake of experimentation."
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"Did you hear we're planning a ball?" James asked Benjy conversationally as they sat together, cutting up hyssop stalks, their silence companionable.
Benjy looked at him sidelong. "Really? For Christmas? Are you going to ask Lily?"
James was shocked by that knowing smile. He laughed. "Perhaps. How about you?"
Benjy shrugged, and glanced toward Sirius and Emmeline's table, where the pair were now arguing in harsh whispers over the rather large dent in Emmeline's cauldron.
"I don't know," he replied, eyes sweeping the room to land back on James. "There's not really anyone I could ask, you know?"
James frowned. "Weren't you and Marlene-?" he asked.
Benjy looked away again. "Nah, man. I asked her, but we just didn't seem to click, you know?"
James could have sworn Benjy had glanced at Emmeline again for the second time in as many minutes. As if to verify, Benjy sighed.
"Those two make an odd couple," he smiled reluctantly, nodding toward Sirius and Emmeline.
James scoffed. "They're not a couple. Sirius doesn't want a girlfriend, and Emmeline doesn't like him like that anyway."
Benjy looked doubtful. "What's this I hear about a kiss then?"
"Sirius was pranking Peter," James replied, semi-truthfully.
Benjy nodded again, cool as the cusps of the iced Mandrake malt he was now shredding.
"You should ask her, you know," James told him seriously. "What do you have to lose?"
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"You dented my cauldron," Emmeline hissed, her face red with anger.
Sirius smirked. "It wouldn't have dented if someone hadn't thrown it at me."
"You deserved it," Emmeline cried out, stung. "You used me!"
She looked away, in a futile attempt to hide the sudden emotion in her eyes.
Sirius placed a hand gently on hers, but she pulled away.
"Vance, will you look at me?"
He sounded so frustrated that Emmeline felt victorious. She had ruffled Sirius Black!
"Fine, I'll talk to the back of your head. I was angry with Peter, and we all know he likes you. So I kissed you, to get him back. And I didn't think. Despite what you may think about me, I am sorry. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression, Em."
Emmeline sniffed. "You're a bastard, you know that?"
Sirius hung his head. "I am," he admitted, so softly that Emmeline nearly missed his words.
She turned to look at him incredulously. "And you're a manipulative, conniving idiot."
"Worse," he admitted. He looked up, and met her eyes. "Lets make no mistake, Vance. I know exactly what I am, and I've never pretended to be anything different. I'm dark and twisted and cynical."
Emmeline gave him a trace of a smile. "That you are."
Sirius nodded matter-of-factly. "I think it's genetic, personally," he confided, and her smile grew, just a millimetre. "So, can you forgive me?"
Although the smirk that had crept onto his face suggested differently, Emmeline read the sincerity in his eyes. "Just this once, Black. Don't you dare do it again, though, mind you."
"Being productive, I see," Slughorn interrupted, frowning.
"We were discussing which potion to make, sir," Emmeline told him, widening her blue eyes innocently.
Slughorn's mustache fluttered as he smiled. "And what have you decided on?" he asked.
Emmeline felt Sirius elbow her. "We were thinking-"
"Amortentia, sir. I never could master it," Sirius interrupted, giving Slughorn a dashing smile.
Slughorn inclined his head. "Very well, then, off you go."
"I can't believe you were flirting with Sluggy," Sirius muttered as they dug into the store cupboard. He shivered in disgust. "I thought that was beneath you, Emmeline."
Emmeline scoffed. "Don't go lecturing me on standards, Black, you filthy hypocrite."
"At your service," the boy returned cheerfully.
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Lily watched her potion bubble, torn. Snape was going out of his way to be nice to her - apologetic, even. And Lily, who had made it quite clear that an apology was no longer welcome, found herself almost forgetting what had even passed...
A laugh sounded from across the room, and she turned to see James and Benjy chuckling over their cauldron. In that split second, James looked up and caught her eye, and smiled. Lily smiled back, and as she did so, she felt Snape stiffen beside her, affronted.
"That's new." His voice was soft, and yet Lily didn't miss that tone of resignation.
She nodded and glanced sideways at him. "He's a good person, Sev."
Snape scoffed, leaning over the cauldron and examining its contents, in an attempt to hide the hurt in his eyes."Well you deserve to be happy, Lily."
His tone was lighter than he intended, and so false that Lily saw right through it. "After the disaster with Scamander I thought maybe... But no, if you really do like Potter, if you're sure that he's..."
Lily opened her mouth to respond, surprised. "James is a good person, Sev. I know you don't believe me, but frankly-"
Evidently, Snape did not wish to be frank. He produced three vials and proceeded to fill them, lips tightly drawn together. He pushed two across the table towards her.
"Here. Tell your friend to try this. It might help with..." He trailed off, shrugging. "I'll hand this in."
Lily bit her lip, eyeing the vials. Snape was quite correct; he was not the only one who had helped to produce the potion, after all. Lily knew very well the potential that the contents of those two small vials could fulfil. The trouble was, she also knew the risk.
On the other hand, Snape had gone to such a length to produce a peace offering... Lily pocketed the vials thoughtfully.
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Somewhere toward the end of the double period, James and Benjy's potion exploded. James, who had been away from the cauldron, was talking to Sirius and Emmeline, and testing their Amortentia. Leaning in for another long whiff, James caught the scent of dewy grass, sweet vanilla and a hint of citrus that reminded James intensely of Quidditch and Lily.
Sirius leant over, in suit, and inhaled deeply. James watched him carefully, and didn't miss the flicker of surprise in his eyes, vanishing as quickly as it appeared.
"What was it?" James asked, grinning.
Sirius simply shook his head.
"Well I smell a wood fire, and old parchment, and caramel fudge," Emmeline announced, smiling dreamily. She turned to Sirius, raising her eyebrows in a look of superiority. "And none of that reminds me one bit of you, Black."
James could have sworn he saw Sirius wince.
"Caramel fudge?" Benjy had called from beside his cauldron, before ambling over. "I love caramel fudge. Mum makes it every week and sends me some, you know."
"Back to your cauldron, boys!" Slughorn berated them.
Obediently, Benjy hurried back, and that was when it happened.
"Gah!" cried the poor boy, covered head to toe in a sticky brown substance.
Slughorn waddled over, with a haste that was unusual for such a large man.
"Vance!" he barked. "You and Black seem finished, can you take Fenwick up to Madam Pomfrey? With the utmost haste. You were brewing Firewhisky?" he demanded, disbelievingly. "Boys! I'm extremely disappointed in you both."
"It was actually troll brandy," Benjy clarified miserably as Emmeline gently led him out of the room.
Slughorn waved his wand, and the sticky mess disappeared. He sighed, resting his hands on his extensive stomach as he surveyed his remaining students. James was now helping Sirius bottle their Amortentia.
"And this," Slughorn announced," Is why you should never leave a cauldron unattended!"
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As class was dismissed, Sirius made an extremely hasty escape. James went running after him, and finally catching him as he entered the Great Hall for lunch.
"Well?" James asked expectantly.
Sirius glared. "She forgave me," he sighed.
James rolled his eyes. "I meant what did you smell?"
Sirius choked on the mouthful of chicken he had just taken. "Soriz?" he muttered.
"In the Amortentia," James prompted gently, knowing as well as Sirius did that they had both understood his question.
Sirius swallowed with one gulp, and looked around for eavesdroppers. The rest of the Potions class was just starting to trickle into the Great Hall, and there was currently no one sitting near them.
"I – I don't want to talk about it."
James leant back and smirked. "Perhaps the better question, considering your reaction, is whom did you smell? I smelt Lily, naturally."
Sirius rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.
"Sorry?" James asked, leaning forward.
James was fairly sure that if looks could kill, Sirius would have murdered him there and then.
"Emmeline, all right?" he replied roughly, before standing up and pushing his plate away. "I'm not hungry anymore."
James stared at Sirius' retreating back, shocked. Sirius actually liked Emmeline?
Shaking his head, he offered Remus a smile as he slid into the seat beside him. James had a nasty feeling things were about to get even more complicated.
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That evening, Lily entered the Head's Tower to find the Marauders lazing about on the lounge. James and Peter were playing chess, Sirius looked to be asleep, and Remus was gazing into the fire. He looked awfully pale, and by Lily's calculations, full moon was only a few days away. Clearing her throat, she smiled at the boys.
"Who's winning?" she enquired softly.
James grinned. "Peter," he admitted, in a way that made Lily sure James was letting Peter win. "How's Benjy?" he asked.
Lily shrugged. "All right. His face and hands are a little burnt, but he doesn't really seem to mind. He just asked Emmeline out," she grinned significantly.
Sirius groaned in his sleep and rolled over, brow furrowed, to hide his face in his pillow.
Lily raised her eyebrows, and James just shook his head, signaling that she really didn't want to know.
Lily stood for a moment, just watching the boys. The vials were a consistent presence in the pocket of her robes, a constant reminder of the lengths that some people would go to for forgiveness. Of the lengths that one would go to prolong their moments of friendship.
Except that sometimes, and Lily understood the significance now, a moment of friendship would pass; and one would have to let it fade into the past, and there it had to stay, in order for a person to move on with life.
"Remus, can I talk to you?" Lily asked tentatively, nudging the werewolf with her foot.
Remus looked up, startled.
"In the study?" she added.
Getting slowly to his feet, Remus complied.
"What's up?" he asked softly, settling himself into a chair as Lily shut the door.
Turning, Lily drew out a small vial. "I made this today, with Snape," she said softly. "It's for you. I think it might help with – with the transformations."
Remus looked at her questioningly. "With Snape?" he asked suspiciously.
Lily nodded, not missing the significance of Remus' look. She brushed it off with a lazy hand. "I'm sure it's safe, Sev- Snape wouldn't dare it. I think he's sorry, Remus, I really do."
"I'm not sure about it, Lily..." Lily's smile was overly bright. "Oh, he wasn't the one who made it. I know exactly what's in there - wolfsbane with lavender and honey, batwing, milks thistle, and witch hazel. It's safe," she reassured him. "I think it will help – and if it doesn't, it certainly won't harm. If you want to try it…?"
Remus uncapped the vial and sniffed. Much to her relef, he didn't flinch.
"It feels calm," he murmured, impressed. Smiling, he recapped the vial and slipped it into his pocket. "Thanks Lily."
Lily nodded. "That's all right. Anything for a friend, Remus."
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"I'm bored," Sirius growled, staring at the closed study door. "What do you think they're talking about in there?"
James shrugged as Peter checkmated his king. "I don't know and I don't really care either, Padfoot."
Sirius frowned. "You're no fun," he complained, pulling out the Marauders Map. "Can we at least go to the kitchens, or something?"
James took the map from Sirius and spread it across the side table, scanning it. Filch was in his office; the corridors were clear. He sighed. Although Sirius was obviously not going to say anything, he seemed acutely upset that Benjy Fenwick had asked Emmeline out; even more so than Peter, who seemed resigned to the fact that Emmeline would never notice him.
"Fine. Get Moony and we'll go."
Sirius was already knocking at the study door. "C'mon Moony, we're going to the kit-"
Lily opened the door, and Sirius froze, as if her sudden visible presence had made him cautious and secretive. He gave her a weak smile and physically reached in to drag Remus out of the study. Lily raised her eyebrows at James, who shrugged.
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"I think I'm going to be sick," Peter moaned, clutching his stomach and pushing away the plate of cheesecake that he had been working on for at least ten minutes.
James and Remus rolled their eyes: Peter's eyes were notoriously bigger than his stomach, so to speak. Although to be fair, James conceded that Sirius could probably have given Peter a run for his money. Evidently, conscientious drinking was not Sirius' only speciality.
James checked his watch. "Well, it's well and truly after curfew, boys. I say its time to head back up."
Sirius scoffed. "If you were so concerned about curfew you wouldn't have come down here in the first place, Prongs."
James rolled his eyes at Sirius' sullen mood. As he was wont to in such situations, Sirius was taking out his frustration on his friends. What Sirius really needed, as far as James was concerned, was a good Quidditch session. Except that Em was on the team too…
James sighed. Obviously, he wasn't going to win tonight.
"And who do we have here?"
No, James decided, standing and reaching for his wand. Definitely not his lucky night.
Severus Snape, Ruttegar Bulstrode, Fitzroy Crabbe, and Regulus Black stood in the doorway to the kitchens, looking generally unpleasant.
James stomach gave a nasty lurch when he saw Sirius' eyes light up: and if that look was brotherly affection, James would kiss the Giant Squid.
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James was dancing. He was dancing, and he didn't like it.
"Starnuto!" he retaliated, and watched, mildly satisfied, as Snape began to sneeze.
"Finite Incantatem," Remus muttered, dashing past in pursuit of Crabbe.
James collapsed onto the floor in relief, and shot a grateful look at Remus, but he was already levitating Crabbe on the other side of the room. James turned once more to Snape, who was still sneezing uncontrollably.
"Petrificus Totalus," James added, flicking his wand toward Snape and catching him mid sneeze. James paused, watching him fall to the floor, satisfied. He had not missed Snape's whispered discussions with Lily in potions, nor her clear distress, and Snape's obvious resentment. He couldn't help but feel a tiny thrill of victory in his chest as he watched Snape's eyes dark around the room. And at the same time - a body bind curse would have to suffice. Lily wouldn't forgive him of anything more harmful.
Turning away from his immobilised opposition, James surveyed the kitchen. Two of the four long tables had been overturned in the course of their battle, and Peter and Bulstrode were taking cover behind their respective tables, which in James' opinion seemed exceptionally intelligent. The house elves had disappeared; and all that was left of what James would call a 'mild disagreement', really, was Remus cornering Crabbe, James having Body-Bound Snape, and Sirius and Regulus, who were having a vicious, seemingly non-verbal battle, with the bright lights of every spell reflecting off the stone walls and floor surrounding them.
Bulstrode had noticed Snape's paralysis while James was busy looking elsewhere. Having rectified it, Snape stood and dusted off his robes. James barely had time to react as the spell flew toward him, knocking him off his feet. His head hit the wall with a smack, and he was left reeling as Snape bore down on him. James met his eyes defiantly.
"Protego!"
A ninth voice was added to the mix; this one was high and feminine, and James had a nasty feeling that…
Lily.
She met his eyes, glaring, as Snape struggled to break what appeared to be a very advanced Shield Charm that had seemingly encased him.
"That's enough," Lily's cold voice rang through the kitchens.
Remus, Bulstrode, Crabbe and Peter complied, freezing where they were as they stared in a mixture of relief, awe and horror at the Head Girl. Even Snape, inside his bubble, froze as he recognised her voice...
Sirius and Regulus, however, continued their spate of sibling rivalry quite rigorously.
"Lets see… yes, 20 points apiece from Slytherin," Lily decided, proceeding to ignore the Black brothers. "Off to bed, now, you three."
Under heavy wand-guard, the three Slytherins trooped out of the kitchen, looking resentful. Snape shot a glare over his shoulder at James, who raised a sardonic eyebrow in reply as he made his way over to Lily, who appeared to be assessing the best method of diffusing Sirius and Regulus.
"Thanks for coming," he breathed in her ear, making her shiver. "How did you know where we were?"
Lily smiled knowingly. "Oh, I found this map sort of thing in the common room…"
James gulped. All of a sudden, he seemed acutely aware of the little sweat beads trickling down his forehead. He wiped them away, avoiding Lily's eyes. She'd found the map…
James smiled weakly. "Yeah, Lily… about that-"
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A/N: I hope you like this installment. I know Sirius is a bit of a … you know, jerk, or whatever, but if you read my profile, I clarify that he is dark and twisty in canon, and if you're going to write a character, you write him properly, no? Anyway, at least he knows his flaws!
And what did you think of Snape? I changed it a bit, to fit the canon that Deathly Hallows provided us with - I'd love to know what you think!
How is James going to explain away the Map?
All will be revealed in Chapter 17!
Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated! xx Lexie
