I Still Trust You

Chapter Four: I Still Miss You

A/N: Hello, dear readers! Once again I would like to remind you that this story is for the lovely reviewer, fiveshadesoforange, who has lent me lots of support, and also asked for a Sasunaru with Naruto Hokage and ANBU Sasuke! I clearly tried to oblige! This is for you fiveshadesoforange... that is really long to type how about fiveshades... for just now... oh well, I will forget anyway! THANK YOU FIVESHADESOFORANGE!!!!!!!!!!! AND EVERY OTHER REVIEWER AND READER!!! This chapter was conjured by way to much Midol (It has caffiene!!!!) and Everlong by the Foo Fighters! My daddy had to work today it was lonely, with my crazy (but loveable) Grandmother with her weird "Russian-esque" accent... you should hear it!

Warning: Dirty dreams on Sasuke's part and rambling on my part... really it is bad... I tend to henge on annoying when I am hyper, and to escape my rambling just skip the parentheses.

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Sasuke sat in his metaphorical cold pit of self-pity. He really wished he had Naruto by his side. He was used to being by Naruto's side constantly, even when Naruto still took missions as a Jounin and an ANBU, Sasuke was always on his team. They had great chemistry, everyone in the village knew it. Even those less obliging to that fact. Even though their romance was just officially started, Sasuke found himself missing Naruto terribly in that sense. He was used to, now, being able to just reach over and tug Naruto into his arms. It was bothersome to reach over and get Neji instead. Not that he had, yet. He bet if he went home and told Naruto that he would laugh. He could feel a small smile creep up onto his face, and was glad the mandatory ANBU mask was there to hide it from sight. He did not need to hear Kakashi mock scolding him for having 'decently improper thoughts about his student', and then trying to slip lube and 'highly informational books', as Kakashi called them, or as Sasuke called them 'porn', into his bag. (That is a little confusing if you couldn't catch it, Kakashi is pretending to scold Sasuke for having dirty thoughts about Naruto-kun and then trying to slip lube and porn into his bag... hope that cleared that up.)

"Okay, were stopping here for the night." Kakashi called.

"Excuse me captain, but couldn't we go a bit farther." Neji questioned, while Sauske glared at his back. He couldn't stand that ass. He tried to take Naruto from Sasuke on several occasions, he flirted with Naruto blantantly when he was called into Naruto's office, and he was just all around clingy when it came to Naruto. It was tottering on the edge of unforgivable in Sasuke's little Naruto obsessed world. (I mean the man owned pictures that he hid under his bed since he was seven. Talk about stalker genes, I think it runs in the Uchiha bloodline- leads to them being good ninja's.) Sasuke hoped Naruto was okay, he left him in a bad state.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi called and motioned for the boy. Sasuke reluctantly approached his former sensei.

"Yes, captain." Sasuke stated, more than asked.

"You seem preoccupied. Is something wrong?"

"No, captain." Sasuke answered.

"Ah, it's Naruto-kun is it, let me guess, he begged you to take him, and you didn't want to under the circumstances." Sasuke was not shocked, he was not suprised, that would be un-Uchiha-esqe, and not to mention bad for his image. To display this control over his emotions he remained silent.

"How did you know!" Sasuke shrieked, guess that's why his daddy didn't love him. (It's true.)

"I'm me, you think I don't have gorgeous women and men falling at my feet begging me to pound them everytime I have a life-threatening mission." Kakashi said plainly.

"You followed me to Naruto's, didn't you?" Sasuke asked with a flat tone.

"Yep." Kakashi confirmed cheerily. In the background, the tent that Neji had been trying to set up fell on him for the fortieth time and the metal pole knocked him out.

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Sakura stared at a gaunt Naruto flanked by a tired looking Shikamaru. He had returned to work yesterday, and looked a mess. Sakura knew he had ample reason to look so horrid. If she had had to sentence her best friend to basically a suicide mission she would feel pretty crappy, too. At least she had the decency to cover it up with make-up though. Bringing to question, why did Sasuke go to Naruto's apartment last night and stay the night? Why had Sasuke been walking next to Naruto much closer than usual, and why would they lock the door to Naruto's office when they were alone? Sakura didn't know the answer, but he didn't do the same with Shikamaru.

Naruto on the other hand only had one thing on his mind, which was, of course, Sasuke. He could feel his bite mark still pulse with slight pain, but it was worth it to be bound to Sasuke. He missed Sasuke badly. He found that he had spent one night in Sasuke's arms and had trouble sleeping ever since, he diagnosed it as lack of Sasuke. He was pretty sure that was a plausible explination. It was also due to endless worry for his well-being. Shikamaru had informed him that something had changed and it had dropped to 43 percentile, though that group still had the highest chance of survival. Naruto sat in his hokage chair, the chair he had worked for all of his life, and, since a few hours ago, wished he had never recieved.

"Shika, why am I Hokage?" Naruto asked, and then tone made Shikamaru look up in mild surprise.

"You were the best for the job." Shikamaru answered simply. Naruto gave a dry chuckle. It lacked all the things a chuckle should have. It lacked mirth, joy, humor. Without those things, the chuckle seemed like a strange replacement for a sob.

"Sometimes I wonder why I wanted to be Hokage." Naruto whispered, slipping his face into his hands.

"Naruto you are nineteen years--"

"Eighteen, I am not nineteen for five more months." He spoke through his hands, the sound coming out muffled and frustrated.

"Eighteen then, you were given more responsibility than most grown adults cannot be trusted with. I think it was a bad idea to take the training wheels off so soon, but you are I believe the best Hokage we have had, ever. Even when considering your young age." Shikamaru said lazily.

"Thank you, Shikamaru." Naruto pulled back from his hands. Tiny little tears were built up on the edge of his eyes. Only seeming to amplify the deep blue of his eyes. Shikamaru felt sick when the thought, 'he looks even more gorgeous when he cries', crossed his mind. "It's just, I- I feel horrible that he matters to me more than any other ninja on the field. He matters to me more than you, than Kakashi, than Sakura, than everyone. He matters more to me than myself. I could die and the only thought on my mind would be him. I feel so cowardous. I love him so much, so much." A choked sob escaped his throat.

"He makes you cry. He always has made you cry. The only time you cry is when he is involved." Shikamaru said, voice rising un-characteristically. Naruto looked out of the window, taking a deep breath.

"Shikamaru, have you ever been in love? Really been in love, and had it returned? I can tell you now it is the worst feeling in the world, but I can also tell you it is the best. It is like a double-edged sword. It cuts and cuts and cuts away at you, like a razor, but all the while it is cutting, it is also healing you and making you feel just... just... wonderful." Naruto sighed, a blissful look in his eyes, and Shikamaru felt sick to know he was imagining Sasuke.

"Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you in return?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes, I loved them for all of my life. They hit me, they beat me, they ignored me, they tried to kill me, they shunned me, and they raped me. I never had that love returned, and I never will."

"Who was it?" Shikamaru asked. Planning to go and kill them. Naruto strode across the room and opened up the shades that hid the city of Konoha from their sight. He looked out that window.

"All of them, every villager, every ninja, even you. Do you know the only one who ever looked at me like I was worth something more than temporary satiation, or a pawn in their game?" Shikamaru looked up slightly, feeling ashamed that Naruto felt that Shikamaru was included in those that had hurt him most.

"Sasuke did," Naruto said softly. "Sasuke has always been there for me. He knew the pain I was in. Did you know when he left, when he went to Orochimaru's, that he begged me to go with him? That he said the very same thing to me that you did. That all of you, all the villagers always made me cry. Sasuke may have made me cry, but he has made me smile more. There is a side of Sasuke that none of you have ever seen! I will stand by that Sasuke. I will also stand by the fact that I don't think that you are capable of loving me as you seem to think you are. Leave my office."

"Naruto-" Shikamaru interjected.

"I SAID LEAVE!" Naruto screamed, pointing to the door. Shikamaru stood and went for the door.

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Sasuke tossed in his sleep and groaned.

Naruto's tanned skin streaching over muscles.

Sweat rolled down his face as he bucked up in his fitful sleep.

Sasuke's pale skin drawn tight as he arches into his companions mouth. Lips slide down to his navel, invading the sensitive valley.

Pants escaped the swollen lips, abused with his own teeth.

Hot breath ghosts over his member and a questing tongue reaches out inquisitively.

He bolts out of bed, glancing around, and sighing. "Damnit." he whispers, he goes about fixing his problem himself.

A/N: It is written, but not exactly how I wanted it. I had hoped it would be better... sorry.